The best form of woman ownage

[ZJP]

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wifey and I were getting into
bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says “I don’t feel
like it, I just want you to hold me.”

I said “WHAT??!! What was that?!”

So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear…
“You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man.” She responded to my puzzled look
by saying, “Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in
the bedroom?”

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which one to
take so I told her we’d just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We
went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond
earrings. Let me tell you…she was so excited. She must have thought I was
one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because
she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play
tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s fine, honey.”
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, “I think this is all
dear, let’s go to the cashier.”

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No honey, I don’t feel
like it.”

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
WHAT?”

I then said “honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re
just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy
your shopping needs as a woman.” And just when she had this look like she
was going to kill me, I added, “Why can’t you just love me for who I am and
not for the things I buy you?”

Apparently I’m not having sex tonight either.

[!Xoible]

PWND nice

[Expired]

Priceless, I've read it before but it is still sooo good.

-Nathan

[F87LUV]

welcome to 1998

[uabimmer]

oh i like that one

[txusa03]

[AWD Addict]

I got this in a chain mail letter in 1986.


WTLW

[ZJP]

Tough crowd......

[Dubbedoutbimmer]

Originally Posted by AWD Addict

I got this in a chain mail letter in 1986.


WTLW

hey just like your wig its a CLASSIC

[stooken]

wow. never read that and i loved it!

[Couch]

Never seen it before.

[SpecC]

lol nice one

[cryptkeeper]

Originally Posted by Dubbedoutbimmer

hey just like your wig its a CLASSIC

not sure why but this comment had my lmao.

[Tony717]

Originally Posted by Expired

Priceless, I've read it before but it is still sooo good.

-Nathan

+1 lol

[e90AW335i]

Awesome....

[goldtl]

[E90SLAM]

I've read it before...but still VERY VERY...

[TheAcAvenger]

Never seen it before, and actually laughed out loud

[HAZEx36]

i read this a while back, but i still lol'd after reading it a second time =)

[bubbletea 4 me]

read it before but still funny as hell

[flyer333]

ROFL that is the best shit i read in a while

[bmwprince4life]

lol nice