Women were created to kill men... (tl;dr warning)

[NYCGP]

I need to vent real quick.

My ex moved out in April of 2010. We had lived together for over 3 years. We tried to stay together after she moved back to FL, but inevitably I had to put an end to our relationship in November of that same year. We talked frequently until January or so when I finally realized I was doing her a great injustice by keeping up communication. She was holding on to the idea that we would somehow mend our relationship and get back together, etc.

I saw her in March and she tried the trick all women use when they want to get someone back. Parade some dude around in front of me. I acted like it didn't hurt. It obviously did. Whatever. I moved on. The last time I spoke to her was on her birthday in May. She reminded me how much she loved me and asked if there was any future for us. I told her as long as her life was in FL and mine was in NY it wasn't likely.

Fast forward to July. I get a call from a good friend down in FL. He tells me she is engaged. I am not going to say it didn't make me feel bad. Most guys would sit here and say, "I don't care. Screw that bitch." Well I cared. At the same time it proved all my friends right when they said, "All she wants is the ring."

Well, I spent the last month or so getting over the idea that I would never see her again. All I could do was hope that he made her happy and that she lived a good life. I really had a tough time with it at first. But as the weeks went by it got easier and easier. Until last night.

I got a call from her. I didn't know who it was and I answer calls from random numbers all the time for work. So i just picked it up. She told me how much she loved me and missed me. She said she needed to know if I still loved her. She couldn't move on with her life knowing that I still loved her. What the fuck. She told me she was only marrying him because she couldn't be with me and she needed to find someone who loved her if she couldn't be with me. She wouldn't admit that she loved him. At this point, my head was spinning and I needed to get off the phone. I told her I needed to go.

There is somewhere deep inside of me that wants to be with her. I think about her every day. But, I can't help but remember all the terrible ways she took me for granted. I didn't sleep at all last night. This shit has me really fucked up. I feel bad for her fiance. I wish I never picked up the phone.

Women were created to kill us..

[Freakazoid]

Believe it or not, you're not alone here. Too many women attach onto one male figure and believe their entire life is with that one person. They become insanely infatuated and stay like this for years and years. I promise you, because I've seen it before (first hand and second hand), she'll fully move on eventually.

If she cared for you that much, she would make moving back a priority. Remember this, and tell yourself that. I'm glad to hear you're being rationale and remembering the bad things. WAY too many people (both sexes) will only remember the good. Then as soon as they get into the relationship again, they remember why the broke up.

Virtually at this point she's simply still trying to get you back. And in the process she's fucking with some dude. I feel bad for you, but to be honest, I feel worse for the other guy.

[AngelinIsRich08]

Don't do it! The best thing to do is tell her you've moved on and don't want to go through again what made you guys break up. She also shouldn't be marrying this dude if she's still got feelings for you. How long were you two together? If it was less than two years forget about her and don't get trapped and feel obligated to stay with her.

[AngelinIsRich08]

Never mind, three years. Eh, she sounds like she cared more about her job in Florida than staying with you in NY.

[jpsum]

dude... stay far far away. She sounds like a drama queen. If she is really marrying this guy just because she needs to be loved, you don't need this person in your life. You've already gone through the toughest part of breaking a relationship, don't make yourself go through that again. Move on brother.

[NYCGP]

Originally Posted by AngelinIsRich08

Never mind, three years. Eh, she sounds like she cared more about her job in Florida than staying with you in NY.

She couldn't handle NYC. She had an amazing job here working for one of the top PR firms. She made no attempt to make friends or start a life for herself here. She just went about her days waiting for me to propose. She became extremely depressed and cold. I worked from 6-5. She worked from 9:30-7:30. I would be asleep by 9 pm. She lasted barely 1 year in NYC.

I had a ring. All she had to do was stop asking me to give it to her and start proving to me that she could live in NYC. It was just the opposite. She struggled. Made me feel guilty about seeing my friends or doing just about anything without her. I couldn't live like that anymore. It was never a matter of not loving each other. Neither of us were happy. So I made the decision and asked her to leave. She agreed. Packed up and moved back to FL.

[Freakazoid]

Originally Posted by NYCGP

I had a ring. All she had to do was stop asking me to give it to her and start proving to me that she could live in NYC. It was just the opposite. She struggled. Made me feel guilty about seeing my friends or doing just about anything without her. I couldn't live like that anymore. It was never a matter of not loving each other. Neither of us were happy. So I made the decision and asked her to leave. She agreed. Packed up and moved back to FL.

just remember this feeling....it'll help

[Sara]

:/ Have you dated anyone else since her?

[NYCGP]

Originally Posted by Sara504

:/ Have you dated anyone else since her?

Yes. Nothing even remotely serious. Been pretty focused on exercise... not love.

[Sara]

Originally Posted by AngelinIsRich08

Never mind, three years. Eh, she sounds like she cared more about her job in Florida than staying with you in NY.

+1 if she really loves and misses you that much she would move back to NY. If you speak to her again (which I reccomend you dont) I would ask her what's holding her back from moving North.

[Sara]

Originally Posted by NYCGP

Yes. Nothing even remotely serious. Been pretty focused on exercise... not love.

Good man. Just focus on yourself.

[1speedbike]

Ultimatum: move back to NYC if you really love me, or stay in FL if you say you love me blah blah blah. That'll show you how serious she is.

No woman is perfect, and all women are weird.

What's happening to you is the kind of thing that most guys who broke up with their GF dream about. A call saying she still loves you blah blah blah. However, it looks like you were the one that couldn't really deal with her, not the other way around.

Maybe being away from you has allowed her to learn to stop taking you for granted?

If she is willing to fuck up an engagement (!!!) for you, she must be serious. But now you must ask yourself, if she HAS changed and will no longer take you for granted, and if she's willing to move back to new york, and break off her wedding, and if you can finally live a fairytale life etc etc with her, would you want to?

[Kroy]

Originally Posted by 1speedbike

Ultimatum: move back to NYC if you really love me, or stay in FL if you say you love me blah blah blah. That'll show you how serious she is.

No woman is perfect, and all women are weird.

What's happening to you is the kind of thing that most guys who broke up with their GF dream about. A call saying she still loves you blah blah blah. However, it looks like you were the one that couldn't really deal with her, not the other way around.

Maybe being away from you has allowed her to learn to stop taking you for granted?

If she is willing to fuck up an engagement (!!!) for you, she must be serious. But now you must ask yourself, if she HAS changed and will no longer take you for granted, and if she's willing to move back to new york, and break off her wedding, and if you can finally live a fairytale life etc etc with her, would you want to?

But at the same time she was the one who got herself engaged in the first place. She's still fucking guys over, in more ways than one. I'll grant you that no one is perfect and people deserve second chances, but no one but OP knows how many second chances he's already given her.

If GP tells her to come back, that's on him one. He's the one getting her to move back to NY and he'll feel some sort of responsibility; maybe enough to push him to propose more out of guilt and pity rather than love or reason. The decision needs to come from her. GP can't be her safety net. Right now what she's doing is giving GP an ultimatum, either marry me or someone else will. If she comes back to NY, it has to be with the full understanding that GP may or may not kick her out of his life again.

[solefald]

Dude, all chicks do that. As soon as you tell her that you still care, she will turn around and marry that other dude. Just because she can. She just wants to see if she still has some power over you.

[Freakazoid]

Originally Posted by solefald

Dude, all chicks do that. As soon as you tell her that you still care, she will turn around and marry that other dude. Just because she can. She just wants to see if she still has some power over you.

this as well

[Kiemyster]

hey NYCGP.... you know i love these emotional threads ahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

but seriously, i feel your situation. you cant be with this bitch. it just goes to show how manipulative and selfish she is. she's happy to marry another dude just because she cant have you? negative. she's already deepthroated his cock many a times. she knows the taste of his jesus juice pretty well by now. Im not trying to offend you, im trying to keep it real. Im stuck with a bitch for 6 years now cant shake her off my dick no matter what i do or how hard i try.

my point is, enjoy the fact that she is no longer your problem. her motivation was not sincere, someone with genuine intentions would never do what she is doing. shes a disease, an infection, shes trying to latch onto a host and spread.

take it from someone who's already almost consumed entirely by such a disease, get away from it NOW. I love my wife, but loving is not the same thing as "being happy with". trust me. Its going to hurt you, you may cry, but at the end of the day, your the winner.

[elm3]

Originally Posted by Kiemyster

hey NYCGP.... you know i love these emotional threads ahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

but seriously, i feel your situation. you cant be with this bitch. it just goes to show how manipulative and selfish she is. she's happy to marry another dude just because she cant have you? negative. she's already deepthroated his cock many a times. she knows the taste of his jesus juice pretty well by now. Im not trying to offend you, im trying to keep it real. Im stuck with a bitch for 6 years now cant shake her off my dick no matter what i do or how hard i try.

my point is, enjoy the fact that she is no longer your problem. her motivation was not sincere, someone with genuine intentions would never do what she is doing. shes a disease, an infection, shes trying to latch onto a host and spread.

take it from someone who's already almost consumed entirely by such a disease, get away from it NOW. I love my wife, but loving is not the same thing as "being happy with". trust me. Its going to hurt you, you may cry, but at the end of the day, your the winner.

+1 couldn't agree more.....

[M3Bahn]

Now the reason for your bad mood has emerged.

Avoid the drama, she sounds like a total mess, who gets engaged and then starts calling her ex? Good thing you never gave her the ring and gave her the boot instead.

[Quick6EF]

Jesus, sounds like my ex.

Ill keep this short - she is a headcase. You guys had the best sex shes ever had and she cant get over it. Plain and simple. You guys made a connection that she will probably not make ever again.

GL and you need to let her go. Cut off communication and cut ties.

[dziqsek]

Pics wpuld be nicely for making things easier for us

But honestly... i would piss on here if i were in your shoes, if she really really love you she shoud quit her ob and come to you at first, second what kind of a person you need to be , to get marridge ( or engage) with other person and call to his ex and says that she still in love with you. Sorry if i wrote it not grammar or logical cause i must translate everything in my head but once again ... let her live her live dude...

[ragingclue]

Tell her to leave you alone and get on with your life.

Noodz (of her) would be suitable compensation for our time and sage advice.

[KGB7]

Originally Posted by solefald

Dude, all chicks do that. As soon as you tell her that you still care, she will turn around and marry that other dude. Just because she can. She just wants to see if she still has some power over you.

Originally Posted by ragingclue

Tell her to leave you alone and get on with your life.

Noodz (of her) would be suitable compensation for our time and sage advice.

^^This.

You need to text her and tell her to stop calling you and leave you the fuck alone. Shes stringing you along for emotional support and is using you as a tampon. You have become her friend, a shoulder to cry on, and she will continue to do so until you man up and kick her to the curb.