Taking care of parents? Sob story warning.

[NickyC]

Originally Posted by Vegetable

I get that.. but my mortgage is $2800/month and my car is $1,000 month

You make $60k a year, I stopped reading after this. You are living faaaaaar beyond your means at that salary. In other words, you're a typical American.

I don't mean to be harsh, but it looks like you were looking for honesty here. You are an incredible person to support your parents the way you have been, the financial commitment you have made to them is truly something to be proud of. As well, it's nothing to be ashamed of in regards to your parents needing help. This economy of ours is faaaaaar worse than what the BS statistics will tell you, it's becoming common place now for multigenerational families to live in the same house (as it has been forever in other countries). As good paying jobs continue to decrease in this country, and as more young people fall victim to the student loan debt for life scam, more and more people will need to lean on family to survive.

You shouldn't feel bad at all to ask your siblings to chip in. Honestly, I'd be asking them why they haven't been in the first place? It's outrageous that you are single handedly supporting your parents, especially when you say your siblings are better off financially than you are. If I were you, I'd be disgusted with them honestly. There will always be cheap plastic crap you don't need to buy with money you don't have, but you'll never have another family. They should be ashamed if they know what is going on.

[fecurtis]

Originally Posted by NickyC

You make $60k a year, I stopped reading after this. You are living faaaaaar beyond your means at that salary. In other words, you're a typical American.

I don't mean to be harsh, but it looks like you were looking for honesty here. You are an incredible person to support your parents the way you have been, the financial commitment you have made to them is truly something to be proud of. As well, it's nothing to be ashamed of in regards to your parents needing help. This economy of ours is faaaaaar worse than what the BS statistics will tell you, it's becoming common place now for multigenerational families to live in the same house (as it has been forever in other countries). As good paying jobs continue to decrease in this country, and as more young people fall victim to the student loan debt for life scam, more and more people will need to lean on family to survive.

You shouldn't feel bad at all to ask your siblings to chip in. Honestly, I'd be asking them why they haven't been in the first place? It's outrageous that you are single handedly supporting your parents, especially when you say your siblings are better off financially than you are. If I were you, I'd be disgusted with them honestly. There will always be cheap plastic crap you don't need to buy with money you don't have, but you'll never have another family. They should be ashamed if they know what is going on.

He said he made $100k/year but through unexplained events, his salary dropped to $60k/year.

[P1]

Originally Posted by NickyC

You make $60k a year, I stopped reading after this. You are living faaaaaar beyond your means at that salary. In other words, you're a typical American.

I don't mean to be harsh, but it looks like you were looking for honesty here. You are an incredible person to support your parents the way you have been, the financial commitment you have made to them is truly something to be proud of. As well, it's nothing to be ashamed of in regards to your parents needing help. This economy of ours is faaaaaar worse than what the BS statistics will tell you, it's becoming common place now for multigenerational families to live in the same house (as it has been forever in other countries). As good paying jobs continue to decrease in this country, and as more young people fall victim to the student loan debt for life scam, more and more people will need to lean on family to survive.

You shouldn't feel bad at all to ask your siblings to chip in. Honestly, I'd be asking them why they haven't been in the first place? It's outrageous that you are single handedly supporting your parents, especially when you say your siblings are better off financially than you are. If I were you, I'd be disgusted with them honestly. There will always be cheap plastic crap you don't need to buy with money you don't have, but you'll never have another family. They should be ashamed if they know what is going on.

If he's making $60K a year, that means he has roughly $4,400 a month in his pocket. Take $3,800 out of that for a house and a car and he has less than $600 to survive off.

So like I said, buying that car was a stupid move.

[NickyC]

Originally Posted by fecurtis

He said he made $100k/year but through unexplained events, his salary dropped to $60k/year.

Thanks, I can read. He's making $60k now, and living way beyond his means. It's time to start selling things and face reality.

[fecurtis]

Originally Posted by NickyC

Thanks, I can read. He's making $60k now, and living way beyond his means. It's time to start selling things and face reality.

If he's paying $1,000/month, then I doubt he can sell his car since he's likely upside down. Not sure about his house though or maybe rent it out to someone and rent a small place for himself.

If he's at break even or better, then yeah he should absolutely sell his car.

[NickyC]

Originally Posted by P1et

If he's making $60K a year, that means he has roughly $4,400 a month in his pocket. Take $3,800 out of that for a house and a car and he has less than $600 to survive off.

So like I said, buying that car was a stupid move.

If his gross is $5k per month, there's no way his net is $4,400 a month, especially not in CA. If I had to guess, his net is probably around $35-3600 per month. There's no way he's paying a $2800 mortgage with a $1000 car payment each month without dipping into savings each month, using credit cards, or taking loans. The math isn't even close. Unless he has a spouse contributing or a roommate or something we don't know about.

OP should be in a nice used, PAID FOR car (sub $10k), with none of that "wanna be baller" leasing shit. I'd unload the damned house STAT as well, unless he's like the majority of Americans who are upside down after being sold on the bullshit "dream" scenario.

Hate to pry into his finances like this, but his siblings need to man the hell up and help out. It's outrageous he's been going at this alone with his parents for so long.

[NickyC]

Originally Posted by fecurtis

If he's paying $1,000/month, then I doubt he can sell his car since he's likely upside down. Not sure about his house though or maybe rent it out to someone and rent a small place for himself.

If he's at break even or better, then yeah he should absolutely sell his car.

Right, if he can move the car he should be placing the For Sale sign in it today. It absolutely sucks to say that, but I've been there twice and it had to be done. Honestly, I think most people would be shocked the kind of quality used car they can get these days for around $10k. You can still drive a nice car and have pride in it for far less than you would imagine.

[Inspired]

Originally Posted by NickyC

If his gross is $5k per month, there's no way his net is $4,400 a month, especially not in CA. If I had to guess, his net is probably around $35-3600 per month. There's no way he's paying a $2800 mortgage with a $1000 car payment each month without dipping into savings each month, using credit cards, or taking loans. The math isn't even close. Unless he has a spouse contributing or a roommate or something we don't know about.

OP should be in a nice used, PAID FOR car (sub $10k), with none of that "wanna be baller" leasing shit. I'd unload the damned house STAT as well, unless he's like the majority of Americans who are upside down after being sold on the bullshit "dream" scenario.

Hate to pry into his finances like this, but his siblings need to man the hell up and help out. It's outrageous he's been going at this alone with his parents for so long.

$3750/month to be exact after 25% income tax.

If the OP is in SF, rent is easily $3000/month for 1br/1bath apt.

[NickyC]

Originally Posted by Inspired

If the OP is in SF, rent is easily $3000/month for 1br/1bath apt.

Good God......

[Woodengun]

Well you have to find a vacancy first, lol. People are back to checking obit pages in the paper/website.... Then you get the privilege to spend that kind of money for 2-300 sq ft of living space.

[Douche]

Originally Posted by Woodengun

Well you have to find a vacancy first, lol. People are back to checking obit pages in the paper/website.... Then you get the privilege to spend that kind of money for 2-300 sq ft of living space.

I'd get an E91, tint out the back, sleep on the trunk while parked at the gym lot, go inside work out and take a shower... No way in hell am I paying 3000 bucks a month for rent like this.

[Nkc]

Wait...So your parents are living off $400-500 a month? It'd be safe to assume that some of your siblings are already contributing. If all your siblings are making more than the $60k that you are making, I don't see why with a pool of 6 people that you can't put together about $2k for your parents.

We're missing some info here for sure or getting hard trolled.

And sob story? Dude not even close. You're still better suited for fwp.

[Vegetable]

Originally Posted by Nkc

Wait...So your parents are living off $400-500 a month? It'd be safe to assume that some of your siblings are already contributing. If all your siblings are making more than the $60k that you are making, I don't see why with a pool of 6 people that you can't put together about $2k for your parents.

We're missing some info here for sure or getting hard trolled.

And sob story? Dude not even close. You're still better suited for fwp.

Hi Sherlock Holmes.. In the US, old people (sometimes even lucky young people) who have worked in their life get something called retirement and or social security.. Sometimes it's enough to live on and sometimes it's not .. In their case it's not enough without a little help from me. Help that, as aforementioned, I am no longer able to provide.. at least not in the sum of $4-$500/month.

[MrPrena]

I understand that $100k or 130k is nothing in N.CA.
You are much better shape in terms of work salary than I am. You guys will be surprised how little my wife and I make. Heck, i don't even have a part time job anymore.

I contributed c300 W204 to my parents. It was my wife's car, but we decide to give that to my mom. She wanted a decent car. We decide to take her 1999 Avalon, and give her our W204. This was when I had $12/hr part time job.

Also, try to teach her how to invest (SR/LR), eBay, and other supplemental income making opportunity. When your parent(s) get into that, they will have generating income PLUS they will have so much fun going to garage sale, and good will stores. Income+Hobby.

[NickyC]

Originally Posted by MrPrena

Also, try to teach her how to invest (SR/LR), eBay, and other supplemental income making opportunity. When your parent(s) get into that, they will have generating income PLUS they will have so much fun going to garage sale, and good will stores. Income+Hobby.

Good thought about Ebay, but I've bought/sold a ton on there and unless you wholesale and bulk sale like crazy, I don't see how you can make any money. Their fees are outrageous, and then Paypal dings you another 3% on top. Once you burn through selling the stuff you already own, trying to make a profit on things you can buy/flip is extremely difficult. Not to mention the fact that once you get going and have a bit of success, your competitors will start logging complaints against you with Ebay. I've had auctions canceled and my Paypal account frozen multiple times because of this. You simply cannot believe how many shit human beings are out there, I honestly hate humanity 99% of the time.

[Nkc]

Originally Posted by Vegetable

Hi Sherlock Holmes.. In the US, old people (sometimes even lucky young people) who have worked in their life get something called retirement and or social security.. Sometimes it's enough to live on and sometimes it's not .. In their case it's not enough without a little help from me. Help that, as aforementioned, I am no longer able to provide.. at least not in the sum of $4-$500/month.

Hi Dr. Watson, its great that your parents get retirement and SS as with many other places in rest of the world. If $4-500/mth does the deal, how hard would it be to ask the other 5 siblings to chip in $100 each/mth? Is it a pride thing? You claim to be going thru tough times with your income and car payments while your other siblings are clearly making more than you. Just asking for some fairness here especially if the case is situational.

My mom was in a similar situation couple years back with her parents. She has 3 other siblings but being the oldest, everyone else assumed she would financially care for the elders (its a chinese thing). Shit hit the fan and she wasn't financially capable but she had too much pride to ask the others. I had to do it for her. It did sour their sibling relationships a bit but it was never great to begin with. My granddad is fully cared for now by my uncle and my grandma is split between the other 3 with my mom having the biggest share.

But you still haven't answered my question Watson. Are the other 5 siblings currently chipping in? I find it hard to believe its just you when you're the youngest with the lowest current income. How are your family dinners like?

[Vegetable]

Originally Posted by Nkc

Hi Dr. Watson, its great that your parents get retirement and SS as with many other places in rest of the world. If $4-500/mth does the deal, how hard would it be to ask the other 5 siblings to chip in $100 each/mth? Is it a pride thing? You claim to be going thru tough times with your income and car payments while your other siblings are clearly making more than you. Just asking for some fairness here especially if the case is situational.

My mom was in a similar situation couple years back with her parents. She has 3 other siblings but being the oldest, everyone else assumed she would financially care for the elders (its a chinese thing). Shit hit the fan and she wasn't financially capable but she had too much pride to ask the others. I had to do it for her. It did sour their sibling relationships a bit but it was never great to begin with. My granddad is fully cared for now by my uncle and my grandma is split between the other 3 with my mom having the biggest share.

But you still haven't answered my question Watson. Are the other 5 siblings currently chipping in? I find it hard to believe its just you when you're the youngest with the lowest current income. How are your family dinners like?

No

[MrPrena]

you nailed it on eBay.
Selling is the easy part. Finding the supply [at much lower cost] to sell on eBay is the hard part. not to mention ebay issues 1099kfor 20k/yr sales.

Competition is just crazy. I have 3 major competitor who lower their price so much that I just sacrificed more profit margin to get the sales going. I stopped going to out of state auction (plane ticket+rental car+UPS/FedEx+fly back) on a same day. My inventory is now 20% of what I had. I think it is time for me to find other areas of diversify.

I tell retired folks to stick to things they are fully aware of, and what it sells for. it may or may not work. I pick up everything. I personally love the trashed LCD TV. Those sells at least $25-40 depends on models. lol
My buddy was really into baseball/sports cards, and did okay, but the darn ebay fee + paypal fee ate his profit up that he just goes to the sports cards shows and rent the booth now. However, I am fairly certain there are some areas of niche.

Originally Posted by NickyC

Good thought about Ebay, but I've bought/sold a ton on there and unless you wholesale and bulk sale like crazy, I don't see how you can make any money. Their fees are outrageous, and then Paypal dings you another 3% on top. Once you burn through selling the stuff you already own, trying to make a profit on things you can buy/flip is extremely difficult. Not to mention the fact that once you get going and have a bit of success, your competitors will start logging complaints against you with Ebay. I've had auctions canceled and my Paypal account frozen multiple times because of this. You simply cannot believe how many shit human beings are out there, I honestly hate humanity 99% of the time.

[kevinbahnz]

Why aren't they helping already?? When my mother gets to that point my sisters and I will help support her.

[BMWrules7]

Originally Posted by Vegetable

Hi everybody. I grew up in a super poor family.... Great parents (now in their 70s and 80s), but poor as hell. For the past 4 or so years I have been giving then about 400-500/month to help pay their rent etc.. This was fine for me as I was making north of 100K/year, but recently I have become relatively poor, making less than 60K/year.. My question is this... Being that I can now hardly afford to pay my mortgage/car payment/gas/food/taxes whatever.. is it wrong for me to ask my other siblings to help my parents? I'm the youngest in my family and there are 6 of us, all making more than I do now..I don't want my mom and dad to lose their rental or to suffer in any way.. Should I ask my older more financially stable siblings to help out? Intuitively I think, sure..but not sure If I am overstepping in some way.

Dude, yes. First, you're all very lucky to have 6 siblings. Look at it this way: Combined, each dollar is worth 6 times more. For example, you could reduce your payment to your parents to $100. Then, each kid kicks in $100.

Now, you're paying less and you're parents are getting more.

[P1]

OP has not commented yet on selling his car. Waiting...

[NEFARIOUS]

Not at all... At least you DO have siblings that can potentially help. I mean, there are times where I can't help but feel at least a little responsible for my dad's death, when he got depressed and took himself out, which myself and others that know of his situation speculated that it was financial since he passed on with his bank account slightly overdrawn and had hardly a penny to his pocket (but of course, he didn't plan his retirement the right way).

If my business partnership didn't collapse and send the next 2 years of MY life into financial ruins, or if I actually had siblings, I think proverbially speaking, we'd have more than enough money to keep our dad alive.

Anyway, moral of the story is, it absolutely sucks ass that there's no familial support system, only leaving it up to the youngest member of the sibling to take care of the same mom and dad that the 5 other siblings have, while some people don't even have that kind of support system. Hell, if I'm the parents and seeing this kind of situation, I'd be calling every other child of mine out, wondering, "why the hell is all the burden left up to [insert OP's name here]? I mean, I appreciate [OP]'s help and all and I don't mean to sound greedy, but he's in a bind. Don't forget which dynamic duo put you bastards here on Earth!" (the latter is a joke)

Oh, and $60K and being poor? Oh puh-leeze. I have never gotten a job that paid more than $45K a month. Sure, I've had businesses that made 6 figures, but not a job. Sorry to sound sarcastic, but I'm surviving off $2,600 a month until I can find a better job or a new business venture that can gain some serious cheese.