Dating - Good/Bad Experiences

[Sara]

I think I was in the wrong last night. Thoughts, Rudi?

[upstatedoc]

Sounds like situation normal

[Tommy-G]

Originally Posted by Sara

I think I was in the wrong last night. Thoughts, Rudi?

I imagine Rudi may always agree with that statement!

[Sara]

Originally Posted by TommyG-inFlaNow

I imagine Rudi may always agree with that statement!

Tito's was involved. No great story ever starts with a salad.

[JP10]

Originally Posted by Sara

Tito's was involved. No great story ever starts with a salad.

I beg to differ. Below is a drink from a local restaurant - really good actually.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Sara

I think I was in the wrong last night. Thoughts, Rudi?

Super pressed for time at the moment with work. Let me process and I'll report back in the morning.

[Tommy-G]

Originally Posted by JP10;

I beg to differ. Below is a drink from a local restaurant - really good actually.

I tihnk I would like that, as long as its not too thick or heavy

[Sedan_Clan]

What's the story Sara ???

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by TommyG-inFlaNow

I tihnk I would like that, as long as its not too thick or heavy

Ahem...cough....that's what she said.

[Tambohamilton]

Originally Posted by Sara

In all fairness, I called him an asshole over the phone and hung up on him first. Want the long version? Or am I too much drama lol.

You called him an asshole, and his retort was hypocrite? Sounds like a chill dude!

Hope you get a positive outcome from this, even if that means taking things no further.

[upstatedoc]

Sooo, he'd rather play pool with his buddy than see you?

[Sedan_Clan]

Originally Posted by Sara

Rudi,

These were some of the texts. So you can see what was said. I can't DM them.

Sounds like a lot of jumping the gun and double texting.

Originally Posted by upstatedoc

Sooo, he'd rather play pool with his buddy than see you?

She is the blue.

[Sara]

Originally Posted by upstatedoc

Sooo, he'd rather play pool with his buddy than see you?

I was the one playing pool. I definitely don’t call guys beautiful lol

[Sara]

Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan

Sounds like a lot of jumping the gun and double texting.

He had a reason for double texting. There’s so much more to what went down.



I swear this stuff only happens to me. The odds of the exact same place the exact same time shit when we both don’t live in that area were slim to none.

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by Sara

I was the one playing pool. I definitely don’t call guys beautiful lol

For a second I was like wtf.

[Sedan_Clan]

Originally Posted by Sara

He had a reason for double texting. There's so much more to what went down.



I swear this stuff only happens to me. The odds of the exact same place the exact same time shit when we both don't live in that area were slim to none.

Now you've got me really curious. Spill it!

[Sara]

Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan

Now you've got me really curious. Spill it!

Let’s just wait for Rudi’s opinion

[King Rudi]

Wow...much to process and based off what I have seen, one of my favorite lines from Napoleon Dynamite was from Rex at Rex Kwon Do; "Break the wrist and walk away."

Sara, this might be hard to read and I genuinely mean no harm in saying this, but from what I can tell, he is basically doing the same thing that you are. The only difference is that you caught feelings. The entire scenario is a little off-putting that friends are interested in dating the same woman and everyone is cool with it. I won't lie, I have found myself in this situation before. Three women, they all knew one another and 2 of them were close. I had already slept with one, had a date with another and had planned on a date with the third. After realizing what the score was, I removed myself from the situation as not to cause issues for their friendship(s). Funny how life works, all three hate each other now. (Had nothing to do with me)

You have two options with this state of affairs.

Option 1. Walk away - this will be your best option in my opinion. I see this entire thing as toxic. Trust isn't there. The foundation for any relationship is trust and if it isn't here now, it sure as shit won't be later. Trust is earned. It seems like no one in this, is looking for the other to trust them more than the threshold of what is required for sex. This is the extent of how far any of this is ever going to go. Sorry.

Option number B. Take a few days, don't talk to any of these guys, don't get involved in other plans and do some soul searching. What is your desired end result? If it's finding a partner in life, work toward that. If you don't have a want for a partner and just want to date, you need to learn to curb your emotions; as this will only lead to heartbreak after heartbreak. As I type this, I find it comical that we as humans are able to fall in love with random people, yet say that we have soulmates. Just funny to me. Back on track, you need to find out for yourself, what you want, then plan accordingly and work toward achieving just that.

In business and project management, I tend to reverse engineer what I expect in the means of my comfort level in what I call success of an end product. If I go at something aimlessly, I can expect no end, as I do not have a defined "finish line."

I hate to say it, but I see a toxic cycle here that will continue for as long as you allow it to. The men will continue to play the game in order to get some booty, you can continue to play the game as well, if you wish; just know that other than the instant gratification of sex, there is not further positive outcome on your end.

I hope this helps.

[Tommy-G]

God, meeting new people and the first engagement of sexual things sounds so appealing for 2 minutes....

Then I am so thankful someone was silly enough to put up with me for the rest of my life and take me off the market.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Sara

So what do I do about his clothes he left here? Lol. New toilet bowl scrubber? Maybe he’ll send an Uber or a cop.

I’m cutting A loose. My BP yesterday was 157/94. Lol he’s gonna kill me. Expectations only get you hurt! Ate my own fucking words.

I feel a lot better this morning. Haven’t responded to anything he said last night. I don’t know what the hell I want, I just know I don’t ever want to get into it like we did Wednesday night. I was a total bitch.

I would offer to return his clothes on limited contact. Chuckling at the rest of the comment.

He's going to kill you for cutting him lose? Wrong mindset to have here. Your only thought here needs to be bettering yourself. Don't care about what other people think of you. It's none of your business and what you think of them doesn't matter to them either. (Hard words to preach, I'm guilty as well)

As for being a total bitch, we tend get upset when we are emotionally charged. Take note here. If someone doesn't get as upset about a situation as much as you do, it simply means they are not as emotionally charged about the situation. Seems basic, but think about it. The lack of emotion elicits a lack of concern. On the opposite end of the spectrum, the more you are a bitch, the more you are indicating that you care; if you didn't....you wouldn't be upset. Guys....(smart guys) notice these things. Hold your cards close until....

[Sedan_Clan]

Originally Posted by King Rudi

I would offer to return his clothes on limited contact. Chuckling at the rest of the comment.

He's going to kill you for cutting him lose? Wrong mindset to have here. Your only thought here needs to be bettering yourself. Don't care about what other people think of you. It's none of your business and what you think of them doesn't matter to them either. (Hard words to preach, I'm guilty as well)

As for being a total bitch, we tend get upset when we are emotionally charged. Take note here. If someone doesn't get as upset about a situation as much as you do, it simply means they are not as emotionally charged about the situation. Seems basic, but think about it. The lack of emotion elicits a lack of concern. On the opposite end of the spectrum, the more you are a bitch, the more you are indicating that you care; if you didn't....you wouldn't be upset. Guys....(smart guys) notice these things. Hold your cards close until....

Agreed!

King Rudi has dropped some important suggestions. The real question remains: will you listen or will you ignore it because you are enticed by certain things (…I have a wager going already )?

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Sara

No, no sweetheart. I didn't mean that A is going actually kill me, I meant that he is going to be a contributing factor. Remember, cardiologist follow up appointment? They found an enlargement and I've got to keep my stress levels down. Well, those doctor's orders certainly went out the window Wednesday night. A stresses me out the most.

I'm going to partially blame the 3 margaritas and shots of Titos which seemed to have fueled the fire Wednesday night.

You're absolutely right about not showing concern. Probably best that I havent responded to anything he said last night. It shows him that I don't care. I just don't want him to lie to me. I told him about B and that I'm letting B take me out next week and he has no right to get upset!! The pot calling the kettle black here.


Never a dull moment in my life. I just hope it doesn't contribute to an early grave!!

My bad. Got you now.