BMW E60 5-Series Forum | 5Post.com  
BMW Garage BMW Meets Register Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read  

Go Back   BMW E60 5-Series Forum | 5Post.com > BIMMERPOST Universal Forums > Off-Topic Discussions Board

Post Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
      09-23-2021, 07:12 PM   #1
Tommy-G
Captain
Tommy-G's Avatar
1612
Rep
658
Posts

Drives: 2015 435 Vert Alpine White
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Bradenton FL

iTrader: (0)

Hey pervs

My best friend got married recently, we are 1200 miles away.
His birthday is next week and I want to mess with him.

I was going to send him a fleshlight and her a well, you know….with the message “now that you’re married, you’ll be needing these”

Help a brother out…..
Appreciate 2
Germanauto6971.50
Bunnny110.50
      09-23-2021, 07:15 PM   #2
kscarrol
Brigadier General
kscarrol's Avatar
United_States
5180
Rep
3,744
Posts

Drives: 2021 X3 M40i, 1974 2002 Tii
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: New Orleans, LA

iTrader: (0)

This should be fun. Following... for a friend!
__________________
2021 X3 M40i
1974 2002tii, Inka, 5 sp manual
BMWCCA # 327475
Appreciate 4
TiMSport8835.50
Tommy-G1611.50
Murf99311429.50
packet230.50
      09-24-2021, 09:16 AM   #3
nyalpine90
Lieutenant General
nyalpine90's Avatar
United_States
6709
Rep
11,405
Posts

Drives: MY21 G01 DG Msport
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: L.I. NY

iTrader: (4)

Garage List
2016 BMW X4  [5.00]
handcuffs
whip
ky
ball with strap
Appreciate 1
Tommy-G1611.50
      09-24-2021, 09:36 AM   #4
KennyFSU
Captain
KennyFSU's Avatar
881
Rep
612
Posts

Drives: M235i
Join Date: Nov 2019
Location: Florida

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
I have a used one for sale, ridden hard and put away wet.
__________________
Past: Estoril Blue E36M3
Present: Mineral Grey M235ix/12.02 @ 115
Appreciate 1
Murf99311429.50
      09-24-2021, 09:50 AM   #5
Keca10
Lieutenant
Keca10's Avatar
United_States
332
Rep
400
Posts

Drives: ‘18 M3 ZCP / '20 X3 M40i
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: USA

iTrader: (1)

Appreciate 3
Medal227.50
unluky4215.50
Patton250743.00
      09-24-2021, 10:20 AM   #6
Tommy-G
Captain
Tommy-G's Avatar
1612
Rep
658
Posts

Drives: 2015 435 Vert Alpine White
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Bradenton FL

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by KennyFSU View Post
I have a used one for sale, ridden hard and put away wet.
Not even for my worst boss but ummmm thanks
Appreciate 0
      09-24-2021, 10:27 AM   #7
TiMSport
Colonel
TiMSport's Avatar
United_States
8836
Rep
2,057
Posts

Drives: '21 M340i xDrive, '17 Audi S3
Join Date: Feb 2021
Location: ATL

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by nyalpine90 View Post
ball with strap
.....
Attached Images
  
__________________
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
" The key to confidence and success in life is to simply not give a f*** ".
Appreciate 6
kscarrol5179.50
Tommy-G1611.50
nyalpine906709.00
Murf99311429.50
Kilabyte2317.00
wrickem1652.50
      09-24-2021, 10:46 AM   #8
nyalpine90
Lieutenant General
nyalpine90's Avatar
United_States
6709
Rep
11,405
Posts

Drives: MY21 G01 DG Msport
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: L.I. NY

iTrader: (4)

Garage List
2016 BMW X4  [5.00]
Thats one crazy movie lol
Appreciate 0
      09-24-2021, 10:48 AM   #9
Murf993
Major
Murf993's Avatar
11430
Rep
1,285
Posts

Drives: Porsche 993
Join Date: Mar 2020
Location: Dog Lake, South Frontenac, Ontario Canada

iTrader: (0)

/
Attached Images
 
Appreciate 5
TiMSport8835.50
Tommy-G1611.50
unluky4215.50
wrickem1652.50
Skoidat69185.00
      09-24-2021, 11:00 AM   #10
TiMSport
Colonel
TiMSport's Avatar
United_States
8836
Rep
2,057
Posts

Drives: '21 M340i xDrive, '17 Audi S3
Join Date: Feb 2021
Location: ATL

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by nyalpine90 View Post
Thats one crazy movie lol
One of the best EVER!
__________________
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
" The key to confidence and success in life is to simply not give a f*** ".
Appreciate 3
Murf99311429.50
Kilabyte2317.00
packet230.50
      09-24-2021, 01:14 PM   #11
King Rudi
Lieutenant Colonel
King Rudi's Avatar
12156
Rep
1,837
Posts

Drives: Meat Suit
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Planet Earth

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tommy-G View Post
My best friend got married recently, we are 1200 miles away.
His birthday is next week and I want to mess with him.

I was going to send him a fleshlight and her a well, you know….with the message “now that you’re married, you’ll be needing these”

Help a brother out…..
I'm confused. You need help to purchase said items? You're looking for someone to sell you said items?

I would have just bought them each a gift certificate to Ashley Madison.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by jmg View Post
We're Americans. Leave your logic and science witchcraft out of this! Jesus and guns are all we need.
Appreciate 1
Bunnny110.50
      09-24-2021, 01:40 PM   #12
2000cs
Captain
2088
Rep
981
Posts

Drives: Potato
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: USA

iTrader: (1)

Sometimes the “funniest” ideas are best when not executed.
Appreciate 0
      09-24-2021, 04:43 PM   #13
Tommy-G
Captain
Tommy-G's Avatar
1612
Rep
658
Posts

Drives: 2015 435 Vert Alpine White
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Bradenton FL

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by King Rudi View Post
I'm confused. You need help to purchase said items? You're looking for someone to sell you said items?

I would have just bought them each a gift certificate to Ashley Madison.
No, just looking for a prank to play on him
Appreciate 0
      09-24-2021, 07:48 PM   #14
MsGoGoMoto
Enlisted Member
MsGoGoMoto's Avatar
United_States
984
Rep
40
Posts

Drives: 2017 i3+REX, 1999 K1200RS Moto
Join Date: Jun 2021
Location: Atlanta, GA

iTrader: (0)

I don't get it.
What?
How is buying a flashlight a good prank for a guy getting married and having a birthday.
I'm sizzling stoned right now but I can't figure this one out.
Appreciate 1
King Rudi12156.00
      09-25-2021, 09:54 AM   #15
Tommy-G
Captain
Tommy-G's Avatar
1612
Rep
658
Posts

Drives: 2015 435 Vert Alpine White
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Bradenton FL

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by MsGoGoMoto View Post
I don't get it.
What?
How is buying a flashlight a good prank for a guy getting married and having a birthday.
I'm sizzling stoned right now but I can't figure this one out.
One letter from flashlight to fleshlight makes all the difference….
Appreciate 4
      09-25-2021, 09:54 AM   #16
shoei
Colonel
shoei's Avatar
5741
Rep
2,394
Posts

Drives: MW Vespa w/pink racing stripes
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Peeing in your garden

iTrader: (3)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tommy-G View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by MsGoGoMoto View Post
I don't get it.
What?
How is buying a flashlight a good prank for a guy getting married and having a birthday.
I'm sizzling stoned right now but I can't figure this one out.
One letter from flashlight to fleshlight makes all the difference….
She's about to go down a rabbit hole this AM, lol
Appreciate 2
Murf99311429.50
Bunnny110.50
      09-25-2021, 09:56 AM   #17
Tommy-G
Captain
Tommy-G's Avatar
1612
Rep
658
Posts

Drives: 2015 435 Vert Alpine White
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Bradenton FL

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by shoei View Post
She's about to go down a rabbit hole this AM, lol
One can only hope
Appreciate 0
      09-25-2021, 10:51 AM   #18
Germanauto
Brigadier General
Germanauto's Avatar
United_States
6972
Rep
4,897
Posts

Drives: Alfa Giulia Ti, Rosso
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: SoCal

iTrader: (0)

I have a buddy who ordered a "bag of dicks" online as a surprise for a friend.
__________________
Former
-2008 E90 328 black/brown
-2012 Lexus IS250 black/black
Appreciate 2
Murf99311429.50
Tommy-G1611.50
      09-25-2021, 12:21 PM   #19
MsGoGoMoto
Enlisted Member
MsGoGoMoto's Avatar
United_States
984
Rep
40
Posts

Drives: 2017 i3+REX, 1999 K1200RS Moto
Join Date: Jun 2021
Location: Atlanta, GA

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tommy-G View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by MsGoGoMoto View Post
I don't get it.
What?
How is buying a flashlight a good prank for a guy getting married and having a birthday.
I'm sizzling stoned right now but I can't figure this one out.
One letter from flashlight to fleshlight makes all the difference….
Got dammit guys..
You're telling me there's a reverse dildo for straight guys?

I'm done.. ….
Appreciate 2
Dpc2u6122.00
      09-25-2021, 11:28 PM   #20
Bunnny
Private
Bunnny's Avatar
Canada
111
Rep
61
Posts

Drives: 2015 M4 & 2002 330ci e46
Join Date: Feb 2020
Location: AB, Canada

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tommy-G View Post
My best friend got married recently, we are 1200 miles away.
His birthday is next week and I want to mess with him.

I was going to send him a fleshlight and her a well, you know….with the message “now that you’re married, you’ll be needing these”

Help a brother out…..
How about a Stripper-gram?

Especially if he works in an office, or has that strict sort of family life :lol
Appreciate 0
      09-26-2021, 01:51 AM   #21
Tambohamilton
Colonel
United Kingdom
1660
Rep
2,533
Posts

Drives: E91 330d
Join Date: Apr 2019
Location: Wiltshire, UK

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tommy-G View Post
No, just looking for a prank to play on him
I still don't understand what you're asking here...
Appreciate 1
King Rudi12156.00
      09-26-2021, 06:37 AM   #22
MsGoGoMoto
Enlisted Member
MsGoGoMoto's Avatar
United_States
984
Rep
40
Posts

Drives: 2017 i3+REX, 1999 K1200RS Moto
Join Date: Jun 2021
Location: Atlanta, GA

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tambohamilton View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tommy-G View Post
No, just looking for a prank to play on him
I still don't understand what you're asking here...
Don't,

Don't look it up. It's gross.

Please don't. It's like discovering Surfin' Bird by the Trashmen. You look once and you're stuck with all the search results.

Now my isp has that query.
Thanks assholes
Appreciate 0
Post Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:08 PM.




5post
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
1Addicts.com, BIMMERPOST.com, E90Post.com, F30Post.com, M3Post.com, ZPost.com, 5Post.com, 6Post.com, 7Post.com, XBimmers.com logo and trademark are properties of BIMMERPOST