Constipated? Here are some ways to help you...

[asdflkijd]

Well I was enjoying a beautiful Romeo Y Julieta outside and it got me thinking how sometimes after smoking a cigar or cigarette, I have to dump the biggest duce. You might ask wtf does that have to do with being constipated? Well my friend, I have put together a list of things to help those that are having trouble dropping a poo.

-Eat an apple (warning** your shit might come out as diarrhea as the fiber really cleans out your system)
-Eat a banana (for some reason this works also)
-Drink some milk if you are lactose intolerant (I highly recommend using this as a last resort though... milk gets me on a shitorama marathon all day)
-Smoke a cigarette
-Smoke a cigar
-Smoke pot
-And of course the infamous laxative...

Happy shitting!

[PLAYON]

not one of your best asdflkijd. . .

[g14classified]

mary jane helps me in the shitter too....any one else experiance this?

[asdflkijd]

Originally Posted by PLAYON

not one of your best asdflkijd. . .

hahaha, I'm just trying to have some fun

Originally Posted by g14classified

mary jane helps me in the shitter too....any one else experiance this?

added to the list

[mpimping]

do you work for microsoft?

[asdflkijd]

Originally Posted by mpimping

do you work for microsoft?

Nope! why you ask?

[mpimping]

Originally Posted by asdflkijd

Nope! why you ask?

cause you are in washington. what's your fav dank? I'm about to hit some haze(again)

[asdflkijd]

Originally Posted by mpimping

cause you are in washington. what's your fav dank? I'm about to hit some haze(again)

Oh, hahaha, naw I live there but I'm in NYC for school.... Beer wise, I like Bud Select, Heineken Light, Bud Light, Blue Moon, Dos Equis, Alaskan Amber, etc etc

wait dank? are you talking about mj? haha I misread and thought you said DRANK. fail on my behal

[c0nstant]

i always have a cigarette if im trying to poop. if its a painful poop, ill have another afterward to make me again

[wuufer001]

cigarettes and milk give me the rush

to the restroom

[lauer87]

I believe I remember hearing that their is a natural laxative in tobacco, so chewing or smoking tobacco should give you the urge.

[c0nstant]

Originally Posted by cars4lyfe

you ever go to blockbuster, home depot, or best buy and just want to drop the grand daddy of all shits?

Seriously try going to these places the next time you're constipated.

holy fucking shit dude, i always feel like i have to poo when i walk into a blockbuster or best buy, i thought i was the only one

[bolinp78]

Originally Posted by PLAYON

not one of your best asdflkijd. . .

[Reincarnated]

Originally Posted by cars4lyfe

you ever go to blockbuster, home depot, or best buy and just want to drop the grand daddy of all shits?

Seriously try going to these places the next time you're constipated.

I know that scene...

[Tondtar]

All you need ...

[mpimping]

[GuyOh]

i unno, but for me, the morning after a night of a lot of drinking always makes me have quite the big shitter

[TiAg335i]

Thanks for sharing this..fortunately I shit just fine.

[The_Blob]

Prune juice works, but only if you drink alot. I mean, a lot!!! I used to drink a lot of prune juice to keep myself healthy, because I am a big fan of antioxidants and prunes contain a lot of it. There was one time I drank almost a litre of prune juice in a day. When I had to take a dump, it was like 7/11 Coca Cola slurpee fountain pouring down the toilet. After that, I stopped drinking prune juice and I never had the urge to get myself some 7/11 Coca Cola slurpee.

If you're having problems taking a dump, I recommend raisin bran cereal. Eat one huge big bowl of it and I'll guarantee you that you'll have the feeling to take a dump.

[RBBMWE46M3]

stick your finger up the hole then you got a tootsie roll

[c0nstant]

Originally Posted by The_Blob

Prune juice works, but only if you drink alot. I mean, a lot!!! I used to drink a lot of prune juice to keep myself healthy, because I am a big fan of antioxidants and prunes contain a lot of it. There was one time I drank almost a litre of prune juice in a day. When I had to take a dump, it was like 7/11 Coca Cola slurpee fountain pouring down the toilet. After that, I stopped drinking prune juice and I never had the urge to get myself some 7/11 Coca Cola slurpee.

If you're having problems taking a dump, I recommend raisin bran cereal. Eat one huge big bowl of it and I'll guarantee you that you'll have the feeling to take a dump.

lmao

[normtrum]

Laughing my ass off with this thread....no pun intended.

Well, in case someone is legitimately looking for an answer in this thread, I'll go the serious route and fill you in:

constipation in it's most basic interpetation is caused by a inbalance of water in the small intestines, which is where the absorption of water takes place. If you have too much water....diarhea....too little water....constipation. I won't get into all the causes of constipation, but I will tell you one of the leading causes is narcotics. this is why you see a huge influx of constipation in cancer patients, because most are on high doses of schedule 1 narcs. 90% of these patients suffer from concominent constipation.

The number one way to rid yourself of this evil infliction.....in my expert opinion (and yes, I am an expert) is over the counter Senkot. It's spendy, but well worth it. Take 1 pill before going to bed, and you will be very pleased in the morning...without struggling!

The active ingredient in all Senokot Laxatives is purified senna. senna is derived from Cassia acutifolia or Cassia angustifolia - the senna plant. (Senokot-S Tablets also contain docusate sodium - a stool softener - an added benefit when hard, dry stools may cause discomfort.) The active ingredient in Senokot Laxatives is always purified senna, manufactured to high quality standards.

Ok, that's it for being serious.....this is still a funny ass thread!