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09-12-2018, 07:34 AM | #1 |
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Your most embarrassing/cringe-worthy moments
My wife had begged me to come to a little gathering of her coworkers during the holidays last year. I asked if other spouses were coming and she assured me that I wouldn't be the only one. I was. The host of her party was her boss, whose husband would join when he got off work.
It was a group of maybe eight people standing around the kitchen island having fun conversation and lighthearted banter. The liquor was flowing and everyone was feeling good. I stepped away from the scene to use the bathroom. When I came back to the room, one of her coworkers had started a conversation about whether or not it matters if older guys are bald. She asks me, point blank, what I think. I said "I don't think it matters much but if you're like full-blown horseshoe bald, that can be a pretty rough look to work with." It was crickets. I turn around and my wife's boss' husband had come home while I was in the bathroom and was sitting behind us. Full. Blown. Horseshoe. Bald. I've never been so uncomfortable in my life. The worst part is that I couldn't give two shits how much hair a dude has. I was just joking around after being put on the spot about something I've given zero thought to in my lifetime. Let's see what you guys have...
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2018 Jeep Grand Cherokee High Altitude Hemi | 2010 S4 Sold | 2010 BMW 135i Retired | 2006 Lotus Exige Sold Last edited by KingOfJericho; 09-12-2018 at 09:11 AM.. |
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09-12-2018, 09:22 AM | #2 |
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I had just started a job after college and was in the personnel office. Two women were chatting in the hall and one of them says "So when are you due?". The other replies "i'm not due, I guess I just must be fat" I quickly looked away and pretended I didn't hear or see anything.
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09-12-2018, 10:27 AM | #3 |
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i was walking out of the bathroom of a restaurant and as i came around the corner i ran into our waitress who was on the other side of the corner. i instinctively put my hands up to stop myself from running into her. we both paused for a second and i noticed both my hands were on her tits.
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09-12-2018, 10:31 AM | #4 | |
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09-12-2018, 10:44 AM | #6 | |
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Oh goodie, a thread just for me!
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09-12-2018, 10:45 AM | #7 |
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09-12-2018, 10:55 AM | #8 |
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Many years ago, returning to the office with a co-worker and a recruit we took to lunch, sitting in back seat feeling awful, in sweltering heat and window locks on, in traffic at a dead stop. Opened door, got out, vomited, got back in and hoped no one noticed. Somehow they noticed. Shortly thereafter everyone in the office knew. Fortunately, this was pre-cell phone cameras and social media.
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09-12-2018, 11:55 AM | #10 | |
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09-12-2018, 12:30 PM | #11 | |
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09-12-2018, 01:54 PM | #14 |
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Cringeworthy stuff with girls when I was younger.
Nobody will ever understand how the female mind works, but when you are a college student you really don't know shyt. |
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09-12-2018, 02:04 PM | #15 |
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Not exactly cringe-worthy for me, but I was involved in a pretty good one. Back in the pre-internet porn days we had these things called adult video stores. There was one near my place that shared a driveway with a lumber yard. You turned into the driveway and then immediately into the lumber yard or kept going another maybe 100 yards to the porn shop. I'm sitting in slow moving traffic, headed to the lumber yard. I see this silver Oldsmobile making the trip from the porn store down the long driveway and think to myself "Man, that looks like my boss' car. How hilarious would if be if it was him." As luck would have it I turn up the driveway just as the Olds is exiting. We are side by side, drivers side window to drivers side window, passing in slo-mo at about 3 MPH. I look over at the perv who just exited the porn shop and sure as sh*t, it's my manager! Ha ha ha! All the more funny by the fact that he was married with a couple little kids and was super religious. He's looking at me right in the eye, recognizes me, and immediately looks away and speeds off. We never spoke of it.
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09-12-2018, 02:09 PM | #16 |
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I just sharted right now, for the 1st time ever. Not the proudest moment of my life. I had some heavy drinking last night and ate some chili for lunch today. I was sitting in front of the computer and felt an explosive fart coming. You know those that charges up like a jet turbine and explode out of your ass like a air bazooka gun? Ya 1 of those, and I love those, cuz it feels good.
So I got my ass all half raised and ready for the launch and fucking BOOM...misfire...misfire...it felt like my ass just barfed. fucking huge amounts of doo doo all over my shorts, balls, thighs, it fucking sucks. I just got done cleaning up, just thought I come on here to let you guys know what my experience was for my first shart. Have you ever sharted? Feel free to share your stories here! |
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09-12-2018, 02:35 PM | #17 |
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OH BOY what an awesome thread for me! i'll post some pics later on about a different story but for now let's go with this:
2015 may, we're in poland for habitat for humanity. it's me, 7-8 other friends from high school (the boys) and a few other people from my class. one teacher who has 2 kids and the other who got back from his honeymoon a few weeks ago (both are men). me and the boys decide we want to explore the polish club scene, but being juniors in high some of the boys are horny so instead of going to a club we decide to go to a brothel. turns out, the small city we live in doesn't have one dedicated, but the strip club works as one. by yelling "kurwa kurwa" to our non-english speaking cab driver, we manage to go there. as we're getting out the car, we see the chaperones walk out of the strip club/brothel. we were not supposed to be out, just like they shouldn't be out at a strip club. no one said anything for what felt like an eternity until my friend said "we won't mention it if you let us slip" and - nothing happened to us for breaking curfew... until our friends and teachers "prom" dinner, of course. drinking age back home is 18, we made sure we had unlimited drinks. many memories throughout high school was shared, and on our table we had both our chaperones, calling cheers to the time we busted both cheating on their wives is always a fun memory |
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09-12-2018, 03:43 PM | #18 | |
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Ask again on Friday, preferably before 10 pm my time. I'm going to open a beer at 9 pm and in that hour I'll probably be so tired I'll answer you
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09-12-2018, 04:01 PM | #19 |
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In college I dated a girl whose roommate was never around (stayed at her BFs place) so I would sleep at her place most nights. We both had late classes so we would often sleep in. One morning, I woke up before her and had to fart something fierce. I was facing her and took proper precautions to ensure she was asleep before letting it rip. She was out cold so I let a looooong gasser out into the wild. I rolled over (my back was to the room) and, to my horror, her roommate and her boyfriend were sitting on her roommates bed. My bad...
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09-13-2018, 01:09 PM | #20 | ||
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So in alphabetical order or what do you want these stories? I'm always getting myself in deep shit so I got a ton
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09-14-2018, 02:00 AM | #21 | |
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09-14-2018, 06:45 AM | #22 |
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Jr. High: I walked straight into a metal post as I was checking out the girls in the cafeteria.
University: Similar situation as above but it was outside at my dorm, the girls were in the quad, and this time it was sidewalk stairs (going down). Thankfully it was only two steps down. Post-university: I was working at a bank branch and I said "good morning sir" to a customer who replied "I'm not a sir". That sort of pissed me off because she was full on bull-dyke.
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