Just found out I have a sister...

[Uber V8]

Ok, I know this is an internet full of strangers and wierdos, but some of you guys are real people (I tend to believe) and I think some people come on here to anonymously share or vent to others who may have gone through a similar experience.

Sorry for the long intro, but with that being said yesterday on Father's day my dad sends me an email that says something along the lines of 'here's you sister...give her a call...she lives in xyz land'...and attaches some photos of her.

Of course, I'm in shock and after looking at the pics, she is definitely my sister.

My father has kept this a secret for 28 years and now, I'm not sure what to do next. I don't know if anyone else in my family knows and I don't want to open pandora's box if I don't have to by sharing this news with my bro and rest of fam. I love life's curveballs.

Has anyone ever been in a similar siuation? What did you do?

[Mr Tonka]

Have you accidently banged her in a random past hook up?


Just fulfilling your weirdo quota for the day. Seriously though that's gotta be weird knowing that now. Have you called her or are you worried he hasn't told her either?

[Draven]

Happened to me. I was 13, my mother dropped the bomb on me that my 'dad' wasn't my biological father. The 'full' brother I had was a half-brother, and I had another side of family and a half sister.

I'd talk to Dad and get more info, answer your questions first. The sister might not want to know you, depending on what she knows or doesn't know. Keep that in mind.

[Uber V8]

Originally Posted by MP0WER

Have you accidently banged her in a random past hook up?


Just fulfilling your weirdo quota for the day. Seriously though that's gotta be weird knowing that now. Have you called her or are you worried he hasn't told her either?

Man that would be extremely weird, but no she's 38 years old which means my dad must have had her before he hooked up with my mom.

I have yet to call her man, I'm kind freakin out with so many thoughts. What if she doesn't want to know me? what if she's known about me for years? If she has known about me for years, why hasn't she reached out to me? sigh, I'm getting nauseous.

Originally Posted by Draven

Happened to me. I was 13, my mother dropped the bomb on me that my 'dad' wasn't my biological father. The 'full' brother I had was a half-brother, and I had another side of family and a half sister.

I'd talk to Dad and get more info, answer your questions first. The sister might not want to know you, depending on what she knows or doesn't know. Keep that in mind.

wow, that's a pretty big bomb. I mean wow, how did you you respond to that?

I will definitely have a heart to heart with my dad, but I'm already getting upset thinking he took this long to tell me. My bro on the other hand didn't seem to care too much. He's in the military so maybe he has tougher skin than me

[AU335i]

Originally Posted by MP0WER

Have you accidently banged her in a random past hook up?


Just fulfilling your weirdo quota for the day. Seriously though that's gotta be weird knowing that now. Have you called her or are you worried he hasn't told her either?

LOL I thought of the same thing... Joe Dirt

[Mr Tonka]

Originally Posted by FwdFtl

Man that would be extremely weird, but no she's 38 years old which means my dad must have had her before he hooked up with my mom.

I have yet to call her man, I'm kind freakin out with so many thoughts. What if she doesn't want to know me? what if she's known about me for years? If she has known about me for years, why hasn't she reached out to me? sigh, I'm getting nauseous.

What's your age difference? What ever the situation prior to now, weather she knew or not, you should reach out to her and at least make an introduction, exchange information and what not. She is family after all. My guess is that since he gave you her info and said to call her, she likely knew about you but your dad didn't tell her who you were or how to contact you.

I know that if i were in her shoes as described above, i would be thrilled to have a sibling contact me that i previously had no way of contacting.

Go for it bro. Only good can come from it. Worst that can happen is she say she's not interested in being your sister. Big deal, welcome to last saturday.

Do it!

[CamelBiscuit]

^ smart words.

[Litos]

pics of sister !!!!!!

[Uber V8]

Originally Posted by MP0WER

What's your age difference? What ever the situation prior to now, weather she knew or not, you should reach out to her and at least make an introduction, exchange information and what not. She is family after all. My guess is that since he gave you her info and said to call her, she likely knew about you but your dad didn't tell her who you were or how to contact you.

I know that if i were in her shoes as described above, i would be thrilled to have a sibling contact me that i previously had no way of contacting.

Go for it bro. Only good can come from it. Worst that can happen is she say she's not interested in being your sister. Big deal, welcome to last saturday.

Do it!

Our age difference is 10 years.

Yea, your right though. If I don't do this, It'll probably haunt me for life.

Originally Posted by Litos

pics of sister !!!!!!

haha, was waiting for this.

[Beemw335]

Worst father of the year award goes to.....
lol
But seriously get more info out of him, like does she know, and ask your mom too(if shes around?)
Also, dont expect her to believe you over the phone that both of you share the same father, you should have him tell her too and both of you can call each other..

[Litos]

Originally Posted by Beemw335

should have him tell her too and both of you can call each other..

.........

go put a nice shirt on with some slacks, walk up to your dad and say "dad, i think it's time for a conference call"

have bagels and a fruit tray catered in for the meeting....

[import36]

i would definitely try to get more info from your dad first before trying to make contact. maybe get the background story on this...find out if she already knows about you...etc. would probably make that first contact a lil less awkward i would think.

[Uber V8]

Originally Posted by Beemw335

Worst father of the year award goes to.....
lol
But seriously get more info out of him, like does she know, and ask your mom too(if shes around?)
Also, dont expect her to believe you over the phone that both of you share the same father, you should have him tell her too and both of you can call each other..

Yea really though! But he's a good dad, just had one HUGE fuk up right here. I'm actually afraid to ask my mom in case she doesn't already know. So I'm waiting to hash it out with my dad first before telling anyone else....

Other than my trustworthy e-friends at e90post.com

Originally Posted by import36

i would definitely try to get more info from your dad first before trying to make contact. maybe get the background story on this...find out if she already knows about you...etc. would probably make that first contact a lil less awkward i would think.

Yea this is the approach I'm going to take. The next hurdle is initiating the conversation..."so dad, about that email..."

On second thought, why did he email me instead of call me or tell me in person? Yea, I have a lot of questions

[persian54]

Does she have kids? Cause then you're an uncle..

[Seminole]

Originally Posted by persian54

Does she have kids? Cause then you're an uncle..

[Wolf]

lol^^

[Uber V8]

Originally Posted by persian54

Does she have kids? Cause then you're an uncle..

One day at a time man, lol.

[DieselDiner]

I agree with your approach, you really need to start with your dad and find out what she knows, if anything. It would be a huge mistake to contact this girl out of the blue to introduce yourself. If she doesn't know anything about you, she should justifiably blow you off at minimum, and call the authorities at maximum. Hopefully her parents have taught her to be careful around strangers, and unless she knows about you from your dad, you are a big time stranger.

Bottom line, don't assume she knows, and tread lightly around her out of respect for her feelings. For all you know, she might not know anything about you, and totally freak when she finds out.

[///Mandy]

So wrong on your father's part to now come up with "oh by the way".
Your first 'meeting' should be in a family gathering (reunion, who knows how many more oh by the way's there will be or a family BBQ), just so that it won't be as awkward the first time.

[UltimateBMW]

Having a different parent would be weird, as that may or may not change your understanding of your own biology/physical make-up.

Finding out to have a sibling is less weird to me, especially if one of the parents is different from your own set. It really doesn't change much about yourself, or your own self-image. (Not as much as finding out one of your parents was different at least.)

I'd say, after you get more info and if your dad is legit on this then call her up, say hi, and just take it from there. Congratulations, you just had a childhood of all the perks of being an only child and a future of all the perks of having a sibling. Just don't loan her money.

Also, this is the internet. Is she hot? pics.

[UltimateBMW]

Originally Posted by ///Mandy

So wrong on your father's part to now come up with "oh by the way".
Your first 'meeting' should be in a family gathering (reunion, who knows how many more oh by the way's there will be or a family BBQ), just so that it won't be as awkward the first time.

I'd rather be told before hand that she exists than just randomly at a party, "oh Hey son, here meet Sarah. Oh, she is your sister. Have a nice chat."

The only thing the dad did wrong was say it in an e-mail. Should have been in person or on the phone. Oh, and the whole 28 years thing. That was wrong too.

[Uber V8]

Originally Posted by ///Mandy

So wrong on your father's part to now come up with "oh by the way".
Your first 'meeting' should be in a family gathering (reunion, who knows how many more oh by the way's there will be or a family BBQ), just so that it won't be as awkward the first time.

Although I don't like or agree how and when he brought it up, I am appreciative THAT he brought it up because I may have never known. I plan to talk to him later tonight one on one before having an open dialogue with the rest of my family.

Originally Posted by UltimateBMW

Having a different parent would be weird, as that may or may not change your understanding of your own biology/physical make-up.

Finding out to have a sibling is less weird to me, especially if one of the parents is different from your own set. It really doesn't change much about yourself, or your own self-image. (Not as much as finding out one of your parents was different at least.)

I'd say, after you get more info and if your dad is legit on this then call her up, say hi, and just take it from there. Congratulations, you just had a childhood of all the perks of being an only child and a future of all the perks of having a sibling. Just don't loan her money.

Also, this is the internet. Is she hot? pics.

To some extent I do agree that it's less weird to find out about a sibling vs a non-biological parent, but at the same time it's still weird to me in itself. I always felt this type of stuff happens to people on Maury Povich, but now it's me.

Actually, I have an older brother (32), but thanks anyways!