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      06-15-2010, 04:09 AM   #1
persian54
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Polygamous relationships

Anyone here have experience with polygamous relationships?

Particular a gf/bf (or husband/wife) that feel that after X amount of time (usually years) of being together, they may feel it a necessity to have an open relationship?

If this is too sensitive/inappropriate/etc then mods please delete/people can ignore it.

Last edited by persian54; 06-15-2010 at 05:01 AM..
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      06-15-2010, 04:28 AM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by persian54 View Post
Anyone here have experience with polygamous relationships?

Particular a bf/bf (or husband/wife) that feel that after X amount of time (usually years) of being together, they may feel it a necessity to have an open relationship?

If this is too sensitive/inappropriate/etc then mods please delete/people can ignore it.
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      06-15-2010, 04:34 AM   #3
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^ LOL

I think guys are for polygamy and girls are not as much.
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      06-15-2010, 05:01 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by boymonkey View Post
^ LOL

I think guys are for polygamy and girls are not as much.
Typo fixed

sorry it's late

Thing is, for me it's the opposite.. kind of..
my girl is interested in having an open relationship... but I don't feel she's ready
Mainly because she's treating it as if she would a guy she would look to date/go out with...
We talked about being open end of last year..
And well, she hadn't met anyone until recently
yet she spends a lot of time talking to him/getting him to say hi at work/etc...
which in my eyes is 'doing it wrong' (quotes because everyone has their own way of doing it)

But for me... well, I started seeing someone a little after the talk... but she knows she's not my gf, nor do I buy her gifts, or go to see her family in the past few months (I've seen them twice), nor do I really meet her friends (ran into a few..but that's it)
I feel that 'this' is the 'right' way...
We mainly go out to have a decent time and follow it with sex...
I don't call her much, text her, or really have any real contact with her other than to set up a date...

Also, when I'm with my gf, I don't think about this other girl; whether we're hanging out or having sex..
yet my gf... I've noticed he's crossed her mind a few times when we're having sex.. and she's only seen him once... and only spoken to him on the phone for countless hours


To be honest, I guess I just needed to say this in a place where I know people don't physically know me.. and those that do don't know my gf nor have they/will they ever meet her.. (Where my friends who I have a history with know her, see her, etc etc)
So, don't be too critical.
It's late... she just got off a date with him....
I had my second girl over... yet I decided to send her home cause I wanted to talk to my girl to know how her date went...
is it wrong/bad/etc of me to want to know the details?
Where she doesn't seem to even want to know that I am indeed having sex with someone else?

Again, I'm mainly just venting more or less.

Last edited by persian54; 06-15-2010 at 02:01 PM..
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      06-15-2010, 05:03 AM   #5
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      06-15-2010, 05:22 AM   #6
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umm...you're crossing some of your gf's into bf's and it's really throwing me off...or you're really referring to a bf? It's like those things where people say they have this friend but they're really referring to themselves lol
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      06-15-2010, 05:29 AM   #7
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      06-15-2010, 08:00 AM   #8
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Although your message is confusing (back and forth bf/gf), one thing is crystal clear. There is nothing about what you are describing that will end in anything other than a train wreck.

Call it a day and move on.
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      06-15-2010, 08:40 AM   #9
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Aren't you like 18? Why would you need an open relationship... JUST BREAK UP and date other people. If you were meant to be together, maybe you would be able to get back with her when you sew your oats.. Otherwise, you are asking for trouble. What if she fucks some dude with some disease and passes that shit to you. How are you going to feel then?
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      06-15-2010, 09:37 AM   #10
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Have you guys thought about getting into the lifestyle instead?

Or just break up. Seems you're having issues with the open relationship thing already. Don't eat up your younger years being stuck in a situation that you would rather not be in.
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      06-15-2010, 11:20 AM   #11
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A girl even thinking about or suggesting an open relationship is not worth your time. She is obviously not satisfied with you, and is just using this as an excuse to exploit you for your comforting attributes (steady bf, paying for dinner, all that bs) while getting to exercise her whorish tendencies.

You really think that's shit's okay? She sucks this dude's dick and comes home to kiss you...That's fucked up.

Break up with her, dude.
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      06-15-2010, 11:25 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DougLikesBMW View Post
She sucks this dude's dick and comes home to kiss you...That's fucked up.
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      06-15-2010, 11:35 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DougLikesBMW View Post
A girl even thinking about or suggesting an open relationship is not worth your time. She is obviously not satisfied with you, and is just using this as an excuse to exploit you for your comforting attributes (steady bf, paying for dinner, all that bs) while getting to exercise her whorish tendencies.

You really think that's shit's okay? She sucks this dude's dick and comes home to kiss you...That's fucked up.

Break up with her, dude.

+1 this guy's got it on the money
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      06-15-2010, 11:37 AM   #14
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persian, to answer your question though.... yes she's doing in the wrong way.
Which is why I agree with the above posters.

No matter what she says or what YOU think...she's basically falling in love with the guy. (which is why, as you said... it's the 'wrong way'). This WILL end horribly, there's no doubt to that. An open relationship with casual sex is one thing, an open relationship that leads to one person loving another is something else entirely different...
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      06-15-2010, 11:44 AM   #15
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I can already see this relationship not working out in the future. I would end it asap so that you can begin the "healing" process right away. Besides, it seems as though you have opportunities with other girls that can keep you busy. As others said, would you really want your girl to come home to you after everything she could have done that same night with another guy? Think about it.

She wants something new sexually but she wants that comfort of having that "core" relationship with you that she can fall back on and always rely on. Don't do that to yourself. There's plenty of girls out there that would want a commited relationship and unlike girls who have their biologtical clock, guys don't need to really trip on how old they are, when they're getting married, etc..
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      06-15-2010, 12:41 PM   #16
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Weird...

So you are cool with getting snowballed?
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      06-15-2010, 12:50 PM   #17
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wow..... i would never do open relationships. this isnt going to end good man
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      06-15-2010, 01:01 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aonarch View Post
Weird...

So you are cool with getting snowballed?
Sounds like he wants some extra sodium in his diet...

Can you tell which guy she has been with when she kisses you? Or when you go down on her?
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      06-15-2010, 01:59 PM   #19
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Thanks everyone :P

I know it's not going to last for much longer, especially like this

But the sex is pretty good... not always as good as with my secondary... but still good nonetheless

and the 'buys dinner' and stuff doesn't happen between us
At the beginning, we split at the place
and now, I pay, she pays. it evens out.

Also, I'm not 18...
I'm 22
shes 24
my secondary is 20.
my third who I've only been with once so far is 33.

I don't expect to marry her...

And joonsup, may I ask what you mean by the "healing process"?
After my 1st gf cheated on me and broke my heart blah blah blah, I've become relatively unattached.. meaning I get attached but not to a point where I'll get too emotional and disturbed.

And the falling in love with him part,
I don't think you could say 'love
But I guess if you rephrase is at "falling for him" it would make sense
I have to admit though... every time she does talk about him and I see how he falls 'short' it does give me an ego boast.. not gonna lie (like dressing too casual, not opening the door, still in school with no job and no income, driving a civic, too confidence to a point it's too cocky, BSing a lot... )

Guess it might not be a bad idea to ride it out?
Meaning, go ahead with the idea that she is no longer my gf; she's basically another fuck buddy...
Kind of sucks because I am the type of guy who prefers to have one woman deeply in love with me, than two women on my dick... call me old fashioned I guess.

I'm just a little surprised because I thought she could handle it (it meaning being able to have casual sex with another individual without letting it get in the way of us)... I've been able to see another woman for over half a year without letting it get in the way of our relationship

Fun...

O and we don't live together, and see each other about twice a week, give or take.
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      06-15-2010, 02:04 PM   #20
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The funny thing is that typically "open" relationships have lower rate of divorce and are often "healthier" then normal monoamgous relationships... obviously this takes a certain cooperation between people and most couples who try open relationships fail because insecurity is tough for one of them to deal with.
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      06-15-2010, 02:04 PM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ragingclue View Post
Have you guys thought about getting into the lifestyle instead?

Or just break up. Seems you're having issues with the open relationship thing already. Don't eat up your younger years being stuck in a situation that you would rather not be in.
Can you explain what you mean by the lifestyle?
You mean a swingers lifestyle?
Could you please elaborate?
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      06-15-2010, 02:06 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Serious View Post
The funny thing is that typically "open" relationships have lower rate of divorce and are often "healthier" then normal monoamgous relationships... obviously this takes a certain cooperation between people and most couples who try open relationships fail because insecurity is tough for one of them to deal with.
Yeah... she reads a lotttt and this is kind of where she got it from... her books and articles and stuff..

also her best friend did it and is 'very happy'
even though it did cause her and her bf of 2+ years to break up...
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