Tinder/Dating Apps

[ryan stewart]

Originally Posted by ASAP

Man, I know I've mentioned this before...

Also know that Linkedin gets 600 applicants for one job at times... 90% of them are completely non starters (out of country, entirely unqualified etc)... another 10% may be qualified... 5% may get a resume reviewed by a hiring manager and at best 5 will get an interiview and that's already high...

If we translate that to dating apps... it doesn't look so good...

The problem with the app is... what is stopping the girl from looking and looking and looking? Thinking there is ALWAYS something better... the answer is almost nothing... so while I went on a few dates I knew these chicks were always talking to like 10 other guys... now how is this supposed to work? That's not how it worked back in the day.

Honestly nothing cant stop that IRL too, if youre out and about everyone can keep thinking they can do better.

The dumbest app though I think is Hinge, you dont really put any type of profile, its just pictures and prompts. The ones where you can talk about yourself helps a lot, you can see how much effort they put into (not that its a lot, but come on cant you spend 30 seconds talking about what you do?).

But yeah a lot of swiping still. But that is simple, no raw face shot and no body shot not even going to look at the profile. Then if there is NO effort on their end from chatting from the get move on.

Honestly Bumble seems to be the best so far, forces women to do SOMETHING. Signed up on Friday, have 21 chats going and 3 successful dates under my belt.

[ryan stewart]

Originally Posted by Germanauto

Yeah all valid points. The apps get some of the bs out of the way, but have opened their own can of worms. People are extremely picky and unwilling to compromise now. I'm picky too, but statistically speaking chicks are REALLY picky.

I do feel like real life connections work if you're say, part of some class or hobby group. Or you meet a friend of a friend in a social setting, wedding, etc. I know some couples who met that way.

Maybe it's time for me to join Barry's gym loll.

Maybe its LA, Im in Atlanta but Im no "Chad" or whatever.

Whats your deal? Are you pushing 40 trying to nail 20 year olds? Because Im sure that is one reason dudes flip out on this. But Im 42 and matching women in their 30s all day, seems to be mostly 31-37 go for me. I have swiped left on some women in their 40s who take care of themselves (athletic is a rule because I am too, but Im not a bodybuilder or anything) and have gotten a couple of responses from them as well.

I have gotten likes from a few in their 20s but like what we gonna have in common? Id suspect those are the ones looking for expensive meals or sugar daddys.

[Alfisti]

Honestly man, if (when) my marriage goes to tits I am just living alone. This sounds like a massive PITA.

[Germanauto]

Originally Posted by ryan stewart

Maybe its LA, Im in Atlanta but Im no "Chad" or whatever.

Whats your deal? Are you pushing 40 trying to nail 20 year olds? Because Im sure that is one reason dudes flip out on this. But Im 42 and matching women in their 30s all day, seems to be mostly 31-37 go for me. I have swiped left on some women in their 40s who take care of themselves (athletic is a rule because I am too, but Im not a bodybuilder or anything) and have gotten a couple of responses from them as well.

I have gotten likes from a few in their 20s but like what we gonna have in common? Id suspect those are the ones looking for expensive meals or sugar daddys.

I'm 30. Generally matching with 24 - 45 range. Love me some milfs lmao.

Elephant in the room, I won't get into it much, but race matters too. Us minorities are not 1st preference for the majority of people. There's plenty data supporting this.

[ASAP]

Originally Posted by ryan stewart

Honestly nothing cant stop that IRL too, if youre out and about everyone can keep thinking they can do better.

The dumbest app though I think is Hinge, you dont really put any type of profile, its just pictures and prompts. The ones where you can talk about yourself helps a lot, you can see how much effort they put into (not that its a lot, but come on cant you spend 30 seconds talking about what you do?).

But yeah a lot of swiping still. But that is simple, no raw face shot and no body shot not even going to look at the profile. Then if there is NO effort on their end from chatting from the get move on.

Honestly Bumble seems to be the best so far, forces women to do SOMETHING. Signed up on Friday, have 21 chats going and 3 successful dates under my belt.

Originally Posted by ryan stewart

Maybe its LA, Im in Atlanta but Im no "Chad" or whatever.

Whats your deal? Are you pushing 40 trying to nail 20 year olds? Because Im sure that is one reason dudes flip out on this. But Im 42 and matching women in their 30s all day, seems to be mostly 31-37 go for me. I have swiped left on some women in their 40s who take care of themselves (athletic is a rule because I am too, but Im not a bodybuilder or anything) and have gotten a couple of responses from them as well.

I have gotten likes from a few in their 20s but like what we gonna have in common? Id suspect those are the ones looking for expensive meals or sugar daddys.

Few things-

1) It can happen in real life but not the same way... most people aren't setting up a date and then randomly find another person on the street to do it again with the next day. The apps allow that... so again more choosiness. Sometimes the dates are so tightly scheduled, they can't even think about you because they already thinking about the next dude.

2) Conversely, I feel Hinge is the best... because it's the slowest and forces people to take time with their selections... its not an easy swipe and go. You are limited to only a few matches a day. Bumble to me seem sexist... its women first... no idea why... you can match with 100 people and hear from 1... Tinder is straight up ratchet... stay away from that.

3) Age - I agree... I am 34, my minimum is 28... going below that puts us at significantly different age spectrums... no idea what's going thru that girls mind and if I was 25... i would feel the same way... why I would I want a 35 year old dude... only to live the dan bilzerian life i guess. The low to mid 30 women seem real cool... but you have to be careful with those as well... because it begs to ask, why aren't they yet taken?

[ryan stewart]

I could see where race might be an issue, I do look like the Nazi student propaganda poster guy. But that is a different issue to chicks ditching you for matching a "chad" whatever.

Originally Posted by ASAP

because it begs to ask, why aren't they yet taken?

Same could be said for us...

So far I haven't run across the chicks scheduling a run of dates, its been "hey when can we get together again?" Like said it seems like the ones who are lazy about it and just using it for validation or whatever are easy to spot and swipe right on. As far as it being "sexist" I thought the idea was they weren't just bombarded with dick pics or whatever.

[OF Hero]

Originally Posted by Alfisti

Honestly man, if (when) my marriage goes to tits I am just living alone. This sounds like a massive PITA.

LOL

[nerdogray]

When you get past 40, good luck. Most don't set their filters that high, so you'll never get seen. Likely won't get seen anyway, due to the way both apps algorithms work, but yea.. unless you are young(er) and attractive, you are pretty much screwed. It is in their financial best interests to stack all of the best looking cards towards the top, so even above average will have limited results. Even paying for "boosts" is only going to do so much when so many others are also desperate enough to buy them. Both apps are absolutely exploitative of the psychology of loneliness. You are better off not using them past a certain age, because they will only make you feel worse.

[ryan stewart]

Originally Posted by nerdogray

When you get past 40, good luck. Most don't set their filters that high, so you'll never get seen. Likely won't get seen anyway, due to the way both apps algorithms work, but yea.. unless you are young(er) and attractive, you are pretty much screwed. It is in their financial best interests to stack all of the best looking cards towards the top, so even above average will have limited results. Even paying for "boosts" is only going to do so much when so many others are also desperate enough to buy them. Both apps are absolutely exploitative of the psychology of loneliness. You are better off not using them past a certain age, because they will only make you feel worse.

Jesus, I must be a fucking smokeshow then at 42 & 6'0"/175, have I been selling myself short my whole life. Im not even rich, I live in a townhome and have an old ass 3 series wagon.

Ive only been on Bumble for literally a week and Ive had 21 convos, like 8 that have been involved, and 3rd date is tomorrow night and all of them have been beautiful, really cool chicks with jobs and their own places and no kids.

And if #3 is cool I'll probably delete the app (while sending a "good luck but I am going to try and take this seriously" message to the others) and try and focus my attention to figure out who I have the best chemistry with.

Maybe its Atlanta or something, unless you guys are all putting your age cut offs at 30 or something you should move here, seems like all the women did.

[Sara]

Originally Posted by ryan stewart

Jesus, I must be a fucking smokeshow then at 6'0"/175, have I been selling myself short my whole life. Im not even rich, I live in a townhome and have an old ass 3 series wagon.

Ive only been on Bumble for literally a week and Ive had 21 convos, like 8 that have been involved, and 3rd date is tomorrow night and all of them have been beautiful, really cool chicks with jobs and their own places and no kids.

And if #3 is cool I'll probably delete the app (while sending a "good luck but I am going to try and take this seriously" message to the others) and try and focus my attention to figure out who I have the best chemistry with.

Maybe its Atlanta or something, unless you guys are all putting your age cut offs at 30 or something you should move here, seems like all the women did.

Being 6’0” you’re already pushed to the front of all suitors on those apps. My guy is 5’11” so had I set my parameters to 6+ I would have never matched him. He told me a lot of women have 6’0” or taller requirements written in their profiles, so he wrote “must be under 130 lbs”

[ryan stewart]

Originally Posted by Sara

Being 6’0” you’re already pushed to the front of all suitors on those apps. My guy is 5’11” so had I set my perimeters to 6+ I would have never matched him. He told me a lot of women have 6’0” or taller requirements written in their profiles, so he wrote “must be under 130 lbs”

I put in "Real names and faces please, mine are..." at the end of mine after seeing all the facetune. I swipe left on facetune from the get, if I don't see pores I know you're lying. Im a GWAC who is good at photoshop, Im trained to see even the "good" ones (of which there isnt, all faceapp stuff looks like shit, just some more than others).

If you guys are 5'10 then just put 6 in for height and swipe right on the facetuned pics. Then you're both fibbing.

Make it 4 as of 5 minutes ago, Im def deleting the app after this last date. Hell even two of them make more than me, there has to be a winner in there.

[Sara]

Originally Posted by ryan stewart

I put in "Real names and faces please, mine are..." at the end of mine after seeing all the facetune. I swipe left on facetune from the get, if I don't see pores I know you're lying. Im a GWAC who is good at photoshop, Im trained to see even the "good" ones (of which there isnt, all faceapp stuff looks like shit, just some more than others).

If you guys are 5'10 then just put 6 in for height and swipe right on the facetuned pics. Then you're both fibbing.

Make it 4 as of 5 minutes ago, Im def deleting the app after this last date. Hell even two of them make more than me, there has to be a winner in there.

Crossing my fingers for you!

[Chihuahua]

Originally Posted by Germanauto

Partly agree but I also feel when approaching women, nowadays we are already competing against at least a few guys they're talking to on apps or on IG.

If you're talking to someone in person and you're even halfway decent at conversation you more than likely have a HUGE leg up on anyone that's on her phone. I make this statement assuming there is some level of attraction on her part (and yours).

[dradernh]

Originally Posted by ryan stewart

Hell even two of them make more than me, there has to be a winner in there.

I don't use the apps, but can you specify a minimum income to keep those you won't consider from coming up? Assuming they're honest about it, that should speed things up considerably.

[ryan stewart]

Originally Posted by dradernh

I don't use the apps, but can you specify a minimum income to keep those you won't consider from coming up? Assuming they're honest about it, that should speed things up considerably.

Not bumble, I think there is an "I'm rich" version of the apps but again who knows. I only did bumble and hinge and I quickly ditched hinge because it was all too heavily curated pics and no information.

So now 5, apparently weekends are when everyone gets on. Messages would trickle in during the week but now everyone is hitting me up.

Almost changed to hanging with a girl I've already been on a date tonight but I'm supposed to see her tomorrow so tonight is being a good boy so I can hit the gym in the AM.

And no I'm not a muscle freak either, just generally athletic. And my pictures are about 15lbs skinnier because I hadn't fully recovered from the wreck and couldn't lift for 6 months.

[ryan stewart]

Originally Posted by Chihuahua

If you're talking to someone in person and you're even halfway decent at conversation you more than likely have a HUGE leg up on anyone that's on her phone. I make this statement assuming there is some level of attraction on her part (and yours).

The thing about the apps is you can basically clear two things:
1. Available
2. At least somewhat attracted

I won't chat for long before I say let's get coffee or a beer to prove we are who we are.

[2008M36MT]

I went on another date today, the girl I went out with said she’s been on hundreds of dates, showed me how many matches she got in 3 days, over 1k, then said something like I am not attracted to you but want to keep going out, and want to kiss. I was like well that’s kind of a blow to my ego so I don’t know if this’ll work. Now she’s texting me and wanting to have sex, explaining she’s on the spectrum, so looks don’t matter so on and so forth, that she just needs to connect emotionally to have sex. Jesus.H.Christ.

[ASAP]

oh boy... dont walk... sprint faster than usain bolt lol

[ryan stewart]

So my buddy told me I'd run into a bunch of those before I got a real date but for some reason haven't, I'm wondering if it's who I attract or if I'm filtering them.

[2008M36MT]

Originally Posted by ryan stewart

So my buddy told me I'd run into a bunch of those before I got a real date but for some reason haven't, I'm wondering if it's who I attract or if I'm filtering them.

I dunno she seems honest, showed me her ex who was even worse than me, but why say that to someone? That kind of thing won’t be perceived by men or women, I can get in her pants by putting my ego aside but the sex won’t be as good for me at least. But sex is sex no? She also comes of as a stage 5 clinger.

[ryan stewart]

So I came out of a hypersexual relationship so that might be helping me a little bit, I'm in no rush. My last girlfriend was basically a horny Barbie doll but mad as a hatter. Im also a serial monogamist and haven't been single most of my adult life.

As a result I'm picky on more than just looks, have ZERO issue with rejection, and I've been very frank with the ones I'm talking to.

Personally I'd say a hard pass on that one, but depends on what you're looking for. You might be distracted with the bunny boiler when Mrs right walks by.

[Alfisti]

Originally Posted by 2008M36MT

I dunno she seems honest, showed me her ex who was even worse than me, but why say that to someone? That kind of thing won’t be perceived by men or women, I can get in her pants by putting my ego aside but the sex won’t be as good for me at least. But sex is sex no? She also comes of as a stage 5 clinger.

Does she know your real name and know where you live?