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      05-16-2022, 06:05 PM   #1
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Father passed away so I inherited his 528i

Greetings to all. I wish I was here under better circumstances but I could sure use some help and/or advice.

My father passed away the other day after battling cancer. Long story short, a battle with prostate cancer 5 years ago metastasized into inoperable bone marrow cancer. He hid it from me and my mother but finally was in so much pain he was hospitalized. A week later, he succumbed to it. He went peacefully because the last several days, per his wishes, he was kept pain free. He lived a wonderful 83 years, was my superhero, my mentor, and my friend. I miss him so much already. I'd give anything to pick up the phone or swing by the house to visit with him just one more time.


To the crux of the matter...

His pride and joy was his 2009 528i. He left it to me (I'm an only child) and so it means the world to me. This car was such a huge part of his life. Always kept in the garage, meticulously maintained (I have access to all his records as of this morning), spotless inside and out, and has 83,300 miles on it.

I know absolutely zero about BMW vehicles. I stopped by the shop which has serviced dad's vehicle for years, talked to the owner, and even he told me dad was particular about maintaining the vehicle. The shop owner knew all this information about my father and his car without even blinking an eye and didn't have to look at any records to recite chapter and verse everything about the vehicle.

I asked them for a copy of their records and what they thought about the vehicle as far as longevity is concerned. The owner said he has zero issues with the safety and reliability of the vehicle but did mention a couple of things that "could" be done at some point just due to the sheer age of the vehicle. He said the items weren't emergencies but were typical for this model. Of course, I have no idea.

They gave me an estimate for what could be done but said due to the fact that my father rarely drove the car that the work could definitely wait.


Herein lies the rub. I have no idea, so I'm hoping the hive collective here can help educate and inform a newbie.

Both front strut assemblies
Both front strut mounts
Both front bump stops
4-wheel alignment

N52 RWD oil pan gasket (includes oil and filter change)
(Gasket + bolt set + ring + torx bolt + washer)

Labor = $1590
Parts = $1043
Supplies = $12
Sales tax = $87
Grand total for all work = $2731


Although the vehicle holds great sentimental value and is paid off, is this vehicle worth keeping or should I help my mother sell the vehicle? (I would incur any costs for repairs and maintenance, of course! I would NEVER let my mother pay for anything regarding this vehicle).

Mom has explained several times that she doesn't want the car nor does she want or need the cash if we were to sell it. She loves that I'm driving it and that my father would be honored that I have it, but I feel a bit guilty. Does that even make sense?


Thank you in advance and I appreciate any/all feedback or knowledge anyone would be willing to share.


Alan
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      05-16-2022, 06:17 PM   #2
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What’s your email? Can’t PM you because you’re too new.

The e60 is a great car, the n52 motor is relatively low maintenance and quite reliable. And in general if the car meant that much to your dad I’d keep it. Just another way to remember him every time you take it out.

Sorry for your loss…
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      05-16-2022, 06:22 PM   #3
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Those are very pretty cars. Interiors are super nice.
Personally I would keep and maintain that vehicle.
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      05-16-2022, 06:41 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by 3002 tii View Post
What’s your email? Can’t PM you because you’re too new.

The e60 is a great car, the n52 motor is relatively low maintenance and quite reliable. And in general if the car meant that much to your dad I’d keep it. Just another way to remember him every time you take it out.

Sorry for your loss…

I appreciate the kind words.

mr23779 at gmail dot com
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      05-16-2022, 07:29 PM   #5
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My condolences for your loss, but it does sound like your father lived a full, rewarding life and that must be of some comfort.

You’ve already seemed to have lucked out in that you already have a mechanic taking care of the car. I’d say not to overthink it and trust the person - the fact that he’s not pressing you to take care of everything now is a good sign. Maybe someone with E60 expertise can opine better on whether those are good maintenance items.

You say the car, and its connection to your father, mean the world to you. So why would you sell it? I’m not seeing a reason, you don’t seem to need the money.
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      05-16-2022, 07:48 PM   #6
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My condolences for your loss, but it does sound like your father lived a full, rewarding life and that must be of some comfort.
I appreciate that. I really do. I'm absolutely gutted. I'm a 53 year old retired guy and I'm having a tough time. This hurts.




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Originally Posted by Darth One View Post
You’ve already seemed to have lucked out in that you already have a mechanic taking care of the car. I’d say not to overthink it and trust the person - the fact that he’s not pressing you to take care of everything now is a good sign. Maybe someone with E60 expertise can opine better on whether those are good maintenance items.
Completely agree! The guy could have said, "Oh man! That car's a death trap. We need to perform this work ASAP!" He was very laid back and said it was just something to keep an eye on.




Quote:
Originally Posted by Darth One View Post
You say the car, and its connection to your father, mean the world to you. So why would you sell it? I’m not seeing a reason, you don’t seem to need the money.
I don't need the money, my mother doesn't need/want the money, but I also want to respect her decision if she were to say that she'd like to sell it for some reason. I want to do right by my mother. Know what I mean? I know it seems wishy-washy but I always put my parents first and I will continue to do so with my mother.

I'm just sort of gathering information and trying to help my mom with certain tasks. The more information we have, the better the decision-making process can be when it comes time to deal with certain items. This is no different. She told me how proud she was that I had the car and was driving it. She got a teary-eyed and I know that she wants me to keep it.

I was outside spending time in the car a bit ago. It may seem silly to some given it's just an inanimate object, but running a vacuum through it and wiping down the interior with some cleaning towels to spiff it up let me spend a bit of time with dad in a way.
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      05-16-2022, 07:56 PM   #7
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From someone who recently got his father's truck:

Do the alignment so the tires do not wear, get mom, go for a drive, have dinner, and toast dad.
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      05-16-2022, 08:06 PM   #8
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From someone who recently got his father's truck:

Do the alignment so the tires do not wear, get mom, go for a drive, have dinner, and toast dad.

We did exactly that very thing yesterday. Myself, my wife, and my mother loaded into his car, drove to Longhorn Steakhouse, and mom used the cash in dad's wallet to pay for the dinner. We thanked dad and lifted our glasses to him after our meals arrived at the table. It was a great moment, for sure.
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      05-16-2022, 08:12 PM   #9
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Sorry for your loss.

These cars are excellent and have a very nice inline 6 N52 engine that is very smooth with minimal vibration. The cars are built well with durable materials and can last 300k+ mi with basic maintenance. They feel rock solid when cruising.

My advice would be not to make any decisions for one year and let things settle a bit. If you do not need or want the car then sell it but remember that you may not be able to get it back if you change your mind.
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      05-16-2022, 08:20 PM   #10
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My deepest condolences to you and your family. Going through just about the same situation with my dad now. Thank fully he is still here.

You mention that your Mom loves that you have the car and that you are driving it. I say spend the money on the up keep. Use it to remember dad and cherish all the wonderful memories. What better way to honor, love him and keep his memory alive. It is not always about the money. Again my deepest condolences to you and your family
P.s Tearing up here as I write this.
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      05-16-2022, 08:39 PM   #11
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Quote:
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Sorry for your loss.
You're very kind. Thank you!




Quote:
Originally Posted by Mavus View Post
My advice would be not to make any decisions for one year and let things settle a bit. If you do not need or want the car then sell it but remember that you may not be able to get it back if you change your mind.
I think this is a great idea and similar to my approach to my retirement last year. I swore I'd do nothing for a year and then re-evaluate. Well, I've been retired for a year and I'm still not ready to do anything or get a part-time job. I like all this free time and now my mom is going to need my help. Just going through dad's stuff, creating a detailed inventory, giving items to individuals in need, giving items to organizations or charities, and keeping certain items is going to require my full attention. I'm glad I'm in a position to do so.
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      05-16-2022, 08:45 PM   #12
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My deepest condolences to you and your family. Going through just about the same situation with my dad now. Thank fully he is still here.

You mention that your Mom loves that you have the car and that you are driving it. I say spend the money on the up keep. Use it to remember dad and cherish all the wonderful memories. What better way to honor, love him and keep his memory alive. It is not always about the money. Again my deepest condolences to you and your family
P.s Tearing up here as I write this.

Your words ring true and are very well put. This is so hard. I can't believe an old fart like me is having trouble keeping it together.

As a child, I thought my dad was really a superhero and would live forever. Sure, other people passed away...but not my dad.


Being alone in the car the past 2 days as I do my best to help mom with small tasks is comforting. I'll bet people on the freeway or at a stop light think I'm crazy because there I am, talking out loud to dad while driving his car!


I appreciate your condolences, as well. I just need to be careful that I don't get into the habit of trying to drown my sorrows in the bottom of a bottle.
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      05-17-2022, 06:08 AM   #13
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I bought our 2009 528i when it was about six months old. Wife will not let me sell it as she loves driving it. Has about 118k miles on it now.

Regarding the list from the mechanic, those prices are very reasonable. An addition I would recommend would be rear shocks. You already would be doing the alignment, so you're only talking another few hundred dollars to do the rears. Why have fresh struts up front with old shocks in the rear?

The N52 motors in these cars can easily exceed 250k miles if you stay up on the maintenance.
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      05-17-2022, 06:58 AM   #14
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Condolences for your dad. You were blessed to have a man like him as a father. Fix up the car and drive it. What a wonderful tribute to dad.
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      05-17-2022, 07:59 AM   #15
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I bought our 2009 528i when it was about six months old. Wife will not let me sell it as she loves driving it. Has about 118k miles on it now.

Regarding the list from the mechanic, those prices are very reasonable. An addition I would recommend would be rear shocks. You already would be doing the alignment, so you're only talking another few hundred dollars to do the rears. Why have fresh struts up front with old shocks in the rear?

The N52 motors in these cars can easily exceed 250k miles if you stay up on the maintenance.

Good point about the rear shocks. I'll ask about that when I take it back for the work.

Lots of positive confirmation about the chassis and engine in this particular vehicle. That's a good sign!
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      05-17-2022, 08:04 AM   #16
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Condolences for your dad. You were blessed to have a man like him as a father. Fix up the car and drive it. What a wonderful tribute to dad.

You encapsulated my thoughts very succinctly. He was such a great guy and I still can't believe he's gone, but I hope he'd be proud that I'm driving and caring for his car.

I get to talk to him and think about him each time I get in it. That's pretty cool.
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      05-17-2022, 09:28 AM   #17
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I sincerely appreciate each and every one of you who either sent me a private email or posted here in this thread. It means the world to me and each of you have provided some comfort not only in confirming the relative condition of dad's car, but also sending your condolences. I'm a complete stranger and yet you all took the time to post or send me an email. It speaks volumes about the character of the members of this forum. Car forums are notorious for all sorts of ill-behaved commandos behind a keyboard. This experience has been quite the opposite. For that, my heartfelt thanks.

I'm still working through the shock of losing my father but thanks to many of you, I'll work through it. Especially as it pertains to his beloved 528!


Dedicated to my father. May he rest in peace.
Dad's obit link
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      05-17-2022, 10:03 AM   #18
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My deepest condolences to you. I've lost 2 Dad's.
Imo if he loved the car then keep it. Drive it on special occasions with your Mom.
Fix anything needed and keep it pistine in his memory. If he was a car guy what better tribute to him. The money is pointless in respect to his memory to you.
He'll be watching his car live on and you can enjoy that thought.
I'm so sorry for your Mom loosing her life's partner. The car must feeling secondary at this point but will be nice in the future to enjoy in his honor.
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      05-17-2022, 10:27 AM   #19
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My deepest condolences to you. I've lost 2 Dad's.
Imo if he loved the car then keep it. Drive it on special occasions with your Mom.
Fix anything needed and keep it pistine in his memory. If he was a car guy what better tribute to him. The money is pointless in respect to his memory to you.
He'll be watching his car live on and you can enjoy that thought.
I'm so sorry for your Mom loosing her life's partner. The car must feeling secondary at this point but will be nice in the future to enjoy in his honor.

Wow. Very powerful post here. Just when I started to get it together, someone in my house just started cutting onions. LOL! Seriously, thank you for your kindness.

Yes, the car is priceless to me and money is no object. Mom said she wants me to keep it so I will abide by her wishes. I just wanted to honor her by doing what she wished, no matter which direction she wanted to go.

My parents were married 59 years! That's unbelievable and she's having a hard time coping, of course. We've kept busy doing little things and we're both grieving in our own ways. This weekend will be tough as we lay dad to rest.
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      05-17-2022, 10:50 AM   #20
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I don't have any experience with an E60 but it sounds like others have given some great input/advice. My condolences to both you and your mom too, that's a scenario that we all dread and are never ready to experience no matter what stage of life we're in.

I can't think of a better tribute to a car person than to let their favorite car live on though. If I were in that position and had the ability to keep/maintain/etc the car, I would absolutely keep it and do what you've been doing....drive it for special occasions, take the mom around in it, and use it any time I needed to talk to dad!

Also, former Spring resident here (grew up through high school there but live in town now). Not often you come across many people from Spring on a car forum
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      05-17-2022, 11:30 AM   #21
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I don't have any experience with an E60 but it sounds like others have given some great input/advice. My condolences to both you and your mom too, that's a scenario that we all dread and are never ready to experience no matter what stage of life we're in.
Thank you, sir! I was definitely not ready for this and would give anything for just 1 more minute of clarity with him.




Quote:
Originally Posted by EricVR4 View Post
I can't think of a better tribute to a car person than to let their favorite car live on though. If I were in that position and had the ability to keep/maintain/etc the car, I would absolutely keep it and do what you've been doing....drive it for special occasions, take the mom around in it, and use it any time I needed to talk to dad!
Agreed. I've made the decision to keep his car and even though people give me strange looks, I'm still going to talk to dad while I'm driving it. Others will just have to figure I've either completely lost my mind or they'll have to get over it.




Quote:
Originally Posted by EricVR4 View Post
Also, former Spring resident here (grew up through high school there but live in town now). Not often you come across many people from Spring on a car forum
What a small world! I was born in Corpus Christi in '69 and we moved into The Woodlands in '75. I spent my entire childhood and young adult life there. Went through all the schools from elementary through high school before moving away to attend college. Once I was done with college, I got married and we moved near mom and dad (still in The Woodlands), but around 2008 we moved into Spring (still on the Montgomery County side of the creek, thank God!)

We live in the Spring Trails/Harmony/Bender's Landing area here where Riley Fuzzel and the Grand Parkway 99 toll road intersect. As a kid, I remember when Riley Fuzzel was a two lane country road in the middle of nowhere and we could hunt by the creek! Not anymore. You wouldn't recognize the area if you saw it today.
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      05-17-2022, 11:43 AM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr23779 View Post
I
I don't need the money, my mother doesn't need/want the money, but I also want to respect her decision if she were to say that she'd like to sell it for some reason. I want to do right by my mother. Know what I mean? I know it seems wishy-washy but I always put my parents first and I will continue to do so with my mother.

I'm just sort of gathering information and trying to help my mom with certain tasks. The more information we have, the better the decision-making process can be when it comes time to deal with certain items. This is no different. She told me how proud she was that I had the car and was driving it. She got a teary-eyed and I know that she wants me to keep it.

I was outside spending time in the car a bit ago. It may seem silly to some given it's just an inanimate object, but running a vacuum through it and wiping down the interior with some cleaning towels to spiff it up let me spend a bit of time with dad in a way.
Yeah i do understand. Obviously keeping a car is an ongoing expense and commitment that only you can make, but it does seem very clear to me (and some others who replied) that this thing is priceless to you as a memento. Enjoy the car and the memories.

When my dad passed, i took his phone with me - it has his iTunes music collection on it, that had also been the musical soundtrack of my life growing up. It’s been a great comfort to plug it in, play it on random, and feel I’m with him
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