Why Are People Assholes to People in Service Jobs?

[BayMoWe335]

Seriously, fuck you.

I worked in the ultimate service cesspool, Walmart and I even noticed it then.

Stupidly, I thought people were jerks just because I was young, but now I realize some actually think they are better than any person working in the service industry or any low wage jobs.

Example: Kroger is absolutely slammed busy. There are usually people bagging groceries for you, but there were not enough employees to scan and bag. The lines were 4 carts deep at each register. The setup it such that it’s obvious you’re supposed to bag your own groceries if no one is at the end of the belt.

The cashier, a 16-18 year old kid with a positive attitude, asked how this couple was doing, only to not even get a response. I watched a mid 40s fat douchebag and his fat wife watch the cashier scan all the Cheetos, Doritos, cookies, and frozen dinners they bought and stare blankly as he had to bag everything himself. They also critiqued how he did it and kept demanding for certain things to be put together. This held up the line even more.

I stand there watching this unhelpful asshat and become increasingly pissed thinking about how he’s going to sit in front of the TV with his bag of Cheetos and will wipe his orange stained fingers on the couch cushions in his shitty house while slowly poisoning his diabetic body with processed sugar and fat.

Honestly, how old do you have to be to realize you need to help bag? You’re not only disrespecting the employee, you’re disrespecting everyone waiting in line. Of course, you can’t say shit to people these days because they are insane.

I also went to dinner and noticed no one says please and thank you to servers bringing their food or even look them in the eye when asking for (demanding) something.

I hate people and I hope those servers you disrespect shit in your food.

[jgoens]

I am in the service industry and regularly deal with the disgruntled customer....they almost never give me an attitude as they probably realize they are going the wrong way...but they give my employees a hard time sometimes.

This is the way society has become. It's me me me and my way. People talk behind their keyboards and smartphones and don't even know how to deal with people face to face.

An ancient skill.

People tend to come together in bad or tragic times, but forget quickly and resort to their ways of thinking in that their small world is the only world.

[NemesisX]

Somewhat related is another one of my pet peeves - when people pull out the
"My taxes pay for your salary" card as they proceed to criticize/accost/etc. a public service individual. Another one is "My tuition pays your salary."

People think the fact that their taxes contribute some astronomically small fraction of a penny towards a public service worker's salary gives them superiority over the public service worker.

They also fail to realize that public service individuals pay taxes also that contribute towards public services that all people use, regardless of whether you're in the public or private sector.

[are0lies]

Criticize me as you like, but today my wife and I went out to eat. She then went up to pay, and I thought she was going to leave a tip with her payment. She thought I was going to leave it in cash, which I rarely carry. After leaving to buy our groceries, all this came out. We bought our groceries, and we returned to the restaurant, where I went back to the waitress and explained the situation. She was very appreciative, because she probably did not expect this outcome. I don't like to treat people as if they are beneath me, because I believe in that vicious cycle of karma. And when I do encounter an ahole, I try to acknowledge the misery the person lives under, and it is all their choosing. Like this guy.

[Mingwan]

Minimum mandatory 2 year service in the military, and 1 year in a customer service related job. If you have multiple infractions of being an asshole in public after mandortory service, then you get sent to a Chinese labor camp.

[FriedPiston]

My take on this is simple: People skills and Customers Service skills aren't being taught in school, so this makes the general public naturally rude, snobby, and disrespectful.

As such, these skills are often developed in service industries, and customer facing roles. People who have gone through this path at some point in their lives are forced to learn: patience, respect, sympathy and high-tolerance for extreme behavior.

Thus, the 16-18 year-old cashier will likely grow to become a better person from his daily encounters with the general public. At least, that would be my expectation based on my personal experience from working with people from different walks of life for a few good years.

[rlmesq]

I don't hesitate to step in and set people straight when they abuse service people. Sometimes the results are hilarious... especially when I'm in a suit because I'm running errands between court appearances and some irate douchebag thinks I'm the manager.

One of my favorites was at a big box electronics store, where I was looking for a computer monitor. An old guy walked up to me and said, "Hey, I just bought this goddamned thing and..."

"Wait a minute," I interrupted. "That's no way to start a conversation. We're going to start over so you can address me politely. Saying 'Excuse me, could I have a moment?' usually works."

It went on for a few minutes, with him getting louder and more agitated, as I calmly but firmly told him that we weren't having a conversation until he figured out how to start it in civilized fashion. Employees were starting to watch, but keeping their distance.

Finally, he sputtered, "I'll have your job!"

"First of all, I'm self employed. The nice thing about that is that I don't have to put up with rude people like you, who would walk up to another shopper in a store and start yelling at him because he happens to be wearing a tie. Since you obviously have no taste in clothing, you wouldn't know that my shirt and tie probably cost more than your entire wardrobe, my wristwatch is worth more than your car, and all the shoes you ever owned aren't worth as much as the pair I'm wearing right now.

"It sounds like you believe you're entitled to abuse the people who work here, but you're a a loudmouth with stale cigarette breath that makes my eyes water, and you couldn't spend enough money in this store in your lifetime to make that tolerable.

"Now, unlike you, I'm smart enough to find the manager, and I'm going to do that... and tell him or her that any complaint you have about any employee in this store is YOUR fault, not theirs. Got it?"

As I walked away, one employee walked up to me, laughing so hard she could barely speak. When she caught her breath, she introduced herself... as the manager.

[Soul_Glo]

The problem is that some people let their mood dictate their manners. :

[Lups]

Originally Posted by are0lies

Criticize me as you like, but today my wife and I went out to eat. She then went up to pay, and I thought she was going to leave a tip with her payment. She thought I was going to leave it in cash, which I rarely carry. After leaving to buy our groceries, all this came out. We bought our groceries, and we returned to the restaurant, where I went back to the waitress and explained the situation. She was very appreciative, because she probably did not expect this outcome. I don't like to treat people as if they are beneath me, because I believe in that vicious cycle of karma. And when I do encounter an ahole, I try to acknowledge the misery the person lives under, and it is all their choosing. Like this guy.

Parents with kids in restaurants drive me nuts. The service staff is not their nanny, and a kid who cant behave should be kept at home learning how to eat in a public place. I've told mine that they'll be eating porridge until they move out if I ever see them disrespecting a member of staff in any situation and when we lived there they had to pay for the tip if their manners weren't above criticism.

I worked in a shoe store and in McDonalds and in a reception when I was in uni. Those experiences made me a bit strict for sure but I'd rather not disown my kids and I would never look at them the same way if I witnessed them abusing their role as customers when they're adults.

[Dang3r]

Im working additionally actually 2 days per week into the evening hours at a supermarket into the beverages section and refill the emptied shelves.
Its not the hardest job, the money isnt too hard earned and I would enjoy to spend it at my US-trip into the summer...which is the reason for it.
2 weeks ago a family with 2 kids (I guess 12 & 15 years) went in and headed for the water section. I was simultaneously unpacking a mineralwater sixpack and wait behind them to store the bottles into the shelf. The mother noted me shortly after this and pushed her kids slightly: "Look at this guy, if you're failing further into school you would certainly ending up as this poor guy here, who's doing this stupid job for a living".
I was speechless and dunno how to react, but I felt never such embarrassed as into this situation. Perfect rematch for me were if I would met her again midair on one of my flights, assist the attendents and pulge her some water over her cloths... "Oooh, excuse me, Im just the stupid pilot from the water section and too dumb to serve"

[ASAP]

Here is one thing to consider and I am not defending anyone but here goes;

Why some people choose to be assholes for no reason is beyond me but I do see many reasons people could get agitated in typical service job locations and later set these frustrations off on an employee. For example, walmart as a whole sucks in terms of service and you always have long lines with 3 registers open with an absolutely full store. Add that to a minor mistake the employee could make and I can see how it sets people off. Remember that while all of these things like the line situation are out of the employee's control, they are still a representative of the company and any true issue that a customer could have, should be passed on to the manager to help fix in the future. Often this does not happen and the employee continues to bare the brunt of these frustrations, again I see two ways to this arguement... some people will be assholes just to be assholes, other times they are by default in a position where people will be assholes due to the nature of their position / company. Any sort of customer service job or customer support is an absolutely prime example of this.

[MKSixer]

Power. People like to lord it over those in perceived lesser positions.

My mom told me that she was treated, at times, horribly working as a waitress growing up which was compounded by being in the Jim Crow south. I remember that each person I encounter as I eat out could be someone just like my mom and treat them with dignity and respect even if they get the order wrong or make other mistakes. The only thing I will ever nuke anyone on is racism. I have zero tolerance and have only had to do in 2x and it was well deserved.

Cheers-mk

[No one]

I'm quite annoyed by service people frequently exploring my tolerance beyond any reasonable limit. Behaving like kings and expecting royal treatment besides my money. People missing the essence of their job (which is to comfort customers, not to be comforted by customers) deserve to be corrected, not honoured. If you don't have the temper or wits for the job find another one. (The experience is site specific: in USA I found service people quite/relatively correct. Except for girls refusing a formal greeting. )

People aren't assholes to other people. Assholes are merely assholes (this reference is not on mistreating actually: that person had to realize the position he was in) and I'm very annoyed by those on a par just as well.

If you feel humiliated by your job why do you think others mustn't share your opinion? Why would a customer kiss your ass after you've shitted into his food? I wouldn't. I'd rather stick your head into your ass for that but I can't: shitheads' rights are so protected. My only hope is alikes teaching alikes appropriate self-concept.

[RABAUKE]

I think it starts with the small things, like please and thank you. I'm always shocked at the way customers talk to waiters/waitresses or the guy making your sandwich at Subway. You stand in line and listen to folks, gimmie this, gimmie that and never a please and thank you. I always use multiple please and thank yous, and wish them a good day. Damn working for minimum wage and getting treated like shit is wrong.

[King Rudi]

I don't remember who was quoted in saying it and forgive me if the quote isn't 100% accurate but it was something to the degree of "When the world stopped saying, Yes ma'am, yes sir, please and thank you, it all went to shit."

I worked in the service industry and sales for the most of my adult life, most of it being a sales manager in the cell phone industry. In my experiences and being an empath, I've concluded that people are assholes to random people and especially service industry workers due to their own insecurities. People who have not dealt with great loss, pain or any type of suffering seldom take into consideration what other people are dealing with behind the scenes. Pretty much adult bullying syndrome. They walk away after belittling someone feeling better about themselves, but those who can see past the bullshit end up feeling sorry for them. It's sad really.

I have more respect for someone who works for minimum wage and is genuinely trying to get somewhere in life than I do most people who have high end jobs. I've been a rich man and I've been a poor man; and I've noticed that when you have money life is easier. Case in point, people who can afford things on the spot have to save money to pay for things or come up with alternative measures of getting them done. Perhaps having to learn DIY in order to save money versus just paying someone to get the work done.......none of us know anything about that do we???

One other thing I have noticed is that driving an Infiniti, Lexus or BMW (or any other luxury car) automatically gets you put into a group of "They think they are better than everyone else." I have always heard the stigma of "That asshole in a BMW......" Truth is, the BMW community that I have come to know are good drivers, considerate of others and non-judgmental. Even in these forums, occasionally we all see assholish posts, I'm guilty myself; but at the end of the day we all help each other to some degree. Glad to be a part of the community here.

[No one]

Originally Posted by RABAUKE

I think it starts with the small things, like please and thank you. I'm always shocked at the way customers talk to waiters/waitresses or the guy making your sandwich at Subway. You stand in line and listen to folks, gimmie this, gimmie that and never a please and thank you. I always use multiple please and thank yous, and wish them a good day.

They must do that first (it's a part of their job, nothing personal). When in US I had a supermarket issue. Packing people (well, I had a couple of thefts by them too ) would ask "Paper or plastic?". At first I answered "Plastic, please.". They never got it ("-What?"). I tried to play with my pronunciation of "plastic" but it failed to solve. The thing that helped was omitting "please" at last. "Plastic." - they put into a plastic bag, no questions asked.

[No one]

Originally Posted by Just_Jody

I have noticed is that driving an Infiniti, Lexus or BMW (or any other luxury car) automatically gets you put into a group of "They think they are better than everyone else."

Taking my (the cheapest and humble!) BMW to an official dealer I had some service man (I had never met before and hopefully never will) accepting me straight away with barely concealed aggressiveness, putting it clearly "You have a BMW and I am a shitty loser. Would you challenge me?". Well, that was obviously correct but of course I wouldn't challenge a shitty loser. Nor admit a blame for that.

[CTinline-six]

I worked at Dunkin Donuts during my later high school years and during college over the summers as a second job. It was a really fun job, mainly because it was run by college students (our manager was a 24 year old gorgeous blonde), and I worked mostly nights. I learned quite a bit about the service industry, and likely treat people better because of my own experiences. People who haven't had their coffee are the absolute worst to deal with.

Unfortunately, dealing with the public shows you just how low some people are willing to go in order to get away with stuff. Often the store policies protect the companies from their employees, not the employees/stores from outside hazards.

A lot of things were automated at Dunkin, including how much cream and sugar was dispensed into coffees. Pretty simple to use if you can follow directions, but many of the workers were poorly trained on how to use the machines and fill/program them correctly. One of my co-workers (a hot brunette, sense a theme here? ) was making a coffee for a guy in drive-thru. Since she didn't program the machine correctly, no cream went into the coffee. The guy could have come back and we would have easily given him another one properly made with no questions asked. Instead, he chose to drive up to the window, throw it at my friend, and drive away. She had burns on her face, neck, and chest from the scalding hot coffee. Of course, the security camera in the drive-thru was pointed at the cash register and the window employee, not the window to catch potential assholes.

I would say 75% of people were generally nice or decent to us when I worked there. We also had a pretty upbeat team at night, where in the morning the older grouchier employees seemed to have more run-ins with customers. The other 25% of customers felt we were their servants, or just were nasty for no reason. For the most part it was pretty obvious these people had other problems in their lives that may have influenced their attitude.

[RABAUKE]

Originally Posted by No one

They must do that first (it's a part of their job, nothing personal). When in US I had a supermarket issue. Packing people (well, I had a couple of thefts by them too ) would ask "Paper or plastic?". At first I answered "Plastic, please.". They never got it ("-What?"). I tried to play with my pronunciation of "plastic" but it failed to solve. The thing that helped was omitting "please" at last. "Plastic." - they put into a plastic bag, no questions asked.

Most servers ask what you'd like, they are generally polite but that part of the conversation doesn't have a place for please or thank you, that comes from the customer.....good afternoon, what can I get you....I'd like a beef submarine please and thank you.....

It has to start somewhere. I'm going to quote the Mahatma, "be the change you want to see in the world"....and the bible...."do onto others as you'd have others do onto you".

[zx10guy]

Originally Posted by nars3000

My take on this is simple: People skills and Customers Service skills aren't being taught in school, so this makes the general public naturally rude, snobby, and disrespectful.

As such, these skills are often developed in service industries, and customer facing roles. People who have gone through this path at some point in their lives are forced to learn: patience, respect, sympathy and high-tolerance for extreme behavior.

Thus, the 16-18 year-old cashier will likely grow to become a better person from his daily encounters with the general public. At least, that would be my expectation based on my personal experience from working with people from different walks of life for a few good years.

People skills shouldn't be the primary function of a school. Parents are. It all starts at home. The function of a school is to provide education first and foremost with the social skills as a supplement to reinforce what is being taught at home. This is another problem with society. Everyone now expects school teachers to provide parenting.

[zx10guy]

I was a witness to rude behavior towards a waiter. It happened with a bunch of coworkers. We were in Miami at a work function and out for dinner that night. Many of us just started with the company. Our manager was with us at the table. The waiter comes over and takes our drink orders. He leaves to fulfill the order. He comes back with the drinks and water. One guy in our group had to have his beer served a certain way. It's not usual for someone to want it this way and the waiter forgot. This guy got nasty with the waiter and said this is not what I ordered. He reiterated what he wanted in a nasty tone.

Uh oh. Didn't know this guy had such a mean streak in him. The waiter apologized and said he would get it fixed. He came back with his drink now properly done and some water. As the waiter was putting the glasses of water on the table, he accidentally spilled a little on the table next to the coworker being difficult. This coworker immediately piped up in a mean tone and said, "Are you going to clean this up?" He didn't even the waiter a second to apologize and react to this.

I was shocked. I just buried my face in my hands and looked away in total amazement. I looked over to our manager and his face was displaying total shock and amazement how this guy is behaving. After all of this, the rest of the dinner went on without any further theatrics.

This coworker eventually got let go by the company. We were all in pre-sales roles which required some level of people skills. I also got to know him on a more personal level. Found out he was using an online dating service. Which also ties in with his general persona. Deep down I don't think he's a bad person. But going back to that dinner, his actions were definitely inexcusable.

[No one]

Originally Posted by RABAUKE

Most servers ask what you'd like, they are generally polite but that part of the conversation doesn't have a place for please or thank you, that comes from the customer.....good afternoon, what can I get you....I'd like a beef submarine please and thank you.....

If they thank me for my business I return it, of course. If they don't - I wouldn't bother, really. Not looking to teach them by example - plain people often take your politeness as appreciation of their supremacy which is so wrong - you actually further spoil them by that. And I can only accept a "good day" wish ("-Thank you!") from a server I'm afraid - not looking for getting any close on a formal matter.

Originally Posted by RABAUKE

It has to start somewhere. I'm going to quote the Mahatma, "be the change you want to see in the world"....and the bible...."do onto others as you'd have others do onto you".

Sure it has to. (I mean, seriously. Just kidding with the link. )