Social Media - Boon or Bane?

[Lady Jane]

It breaks my heart when I hear stories about tweenies committing suicide because of on-line bullying. It affects a lot of adults as well.

How do you feel?


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[vreihen16]

I don't use social media, and even have most of the sites (including their CDN's) blocked on all of my devices.

Working in IT, I value face-to-face human interaction versus staring at a screen. You should have heard the lecture that I gave to the front-end manager at a big-box store, where I chewed them out for suggesting that I use self-checkout and sacrifice my only opportunity for human interaction that entire day (pre-COVID).

When I was laying in the hospital for weeks being tortured by Judge Judy on the TV, it seemed like every third case was about being defamed on "Farcebook" and the resulting butt-hurt. People could be posting on there right now that I'm the anti-christ who eats spotted owls and clubs baby seals, and it doesn't bother me one bit because I have never even had an account on any of those social media services to read what they're posting.....

[RickFLM4]

I feel... that people are too sensitive / soft. Yet I know it will only get worse. Social media accelerates and spotlights the erosion.

[Lady Jane]

Originally Posted by RickFLM4

I feel... that people are too sensitive / soft. Yet I know it will only get worse. Social media accelerates and spotlights the erosion.

The insidious manipulation is what scares me the most.


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[Joekerr]

I think social media was welcomed under the guise of creating more social interactions and specifically relationships. But I think it has destroyed much more relationships than it has created and caused a world of hurt.

I have facebook, but I post nothing on my profile aside from my annual "Thanks for all the birthday wishes" post and that's it. All the pictures are old, nothing there that is current. My wife left Facebook a few years ago because she found she was always comparing herself to others and feeling like a failure - one of the best decisions she made was to leave social media.

[unluky]

I was listening to the radio this morning and they replayed the Christopher Walken interview from yesterday. He is 77 and has never had a cell phone or computer. He has a landline phone that was there when he bought the house and still has the same #.

The 20somethings on the show were yelling "how can you even live without your phone?!?!? OMG!!!! impossible!"

This is the problem. It is no longer an entertainment device for them - it is their entire life. Every part of their lives revolve around their phone - including their self-worth. When you give a device that much power over your life - you are doomed.

When our parents told us to go play outside because that TV would "rot your brains" - they were not too far off. Very sad to see.

[cmyx6go]

Originally Posted by unluky

I was listening to the radio this morning and they replayed the Christopher Walken interview from yesterday. He is 77 and has never had a cell phone or computer. He has a landline phone that was there when he bought the house and still has the same #.

The 20somethings on the show were yelling "how can you even live without your phone?!?!? OMG!!!! impossible!"

This is the problem. It is no longer an entertainment device for them - it is their entire life. Every part of their lives revolve around their phone - including their self-worth. When you give a device that much power over your life - you are doomed.

When our parents told us to go play outside because that TV would "rot your brains" - they were not too far off. Very sad to see.

Social media and technology have killed personal relationships. It drives me crazy to see people around a table at a restaurant all looking down at their phones. WTF? Aren't you out together to enjoy each others company?

Relationships are formed by actually speaking to someone. Everyone wants to message or email. God forbid they actually pick up the phone. I'll tell an employee - call so and so, say this and that, let me know what he says. Two hours go by, I will follow up only to be told "He hasn't answered my email yet"...... Bang head here.

[hooligan_G01]

I think social media is extremely dangerous for younger kids.

They rely on it so much, but that means they also get no respite from the bullying they might be subjected to. Used to be you only got bullied while at school, now they carry their bullies around with them in their pockets.

I'm glad I don't have kids.

[nyalpine90]

human species lacks self control in almost every aspect you can think of
social media has done more harm then good. gossip, rumors bad news travels faster then light.

[King Rudi]

I shut my facebook account down years ago. Just recently re-opened it as more of a social experiment with a personal growth achievement I'm trying to work on. I'm a type A asshole. I'm trying to learn how to let people be themselves without me making them feel any particular way about their decision making. I figured facebook was a perfect place for me to see an abundance of ignorance to test my abilities of keeping my (online) mouth shut. I have to remain about 60% professional at work.....I come here for the other 40% to be dispensed upon you lot.

Originally Posted by cmyx6go

Social media and technology have killed personal relationships. It drives me crazy to see people around a table at a restaurant all looking down at their phones. WTF? Aren't you out together to enjoy each others company?

Relationships are formed by actually speaking to someone. Everyone wants to message or email. God forbid they actually pick up the phone. I'll tell an employee - call so and so, say this and that, let me know what he says. Two hours go by, I will follow up only to be told "He hasn't answered my email yet"...... Bang head here.

I will admit that I am all too quick to send an email versus calling. The only reason being is that juggling multiple projects under two different job titles, things can get a little scattered. With an email, I can always go back and verify the conversation, details of said conversation, install dates, product info etc. I'm more dependent on outlook than I am anything else. Now if I need to speak to a contractor, I always call them initially. I love messing with those guys.

To touch on the lack of human interaction. Some of the job interviewees today......wow..... I interviewed a girl a few years back that couldn't put her phone down the entire time she was in my office. At one point I stopped talking and just stared at her. The silence finally got her attention. She looked up from her phone and I just smiled and said, "No, it's ok. I don't have anything else to do with my day. I'll wait on you." She did not detect the sarcasm. When she finally looked up at me again, I didn't even finish the interview. I asked her if she had any questions. Of course she asked how much she would make an hour.

[unluky]

Originally Posted by cmyx6go

Social media and technology have killed personal relationships. It drives me crazy to see people around a table at a restaurant all looking down at their phones. WTF? Aren't you out together to enjoy each others company?

Relationships are formed by actually speaking to someone. Everyone wants to message or email. God forbid they actually pick up the phone. I'll tell an employee - call so and so, say this and that, let me know what he says. Two hours go by, I will follow up only to be told "He hasn't answered my email yet"...... Bang head here.

When I met my GF - she had 3 kids, 14, 16, 18. Shockingly - I liked and got a long with all of them. They lived in E worlds like all kids. After a few weeks I was at her house on a Sun morning and suggested I take her to bfast (pre-covid). I don't have any kids and was raised by a caveman (by todays standards) but I still enjoy time with them. I asked if she thought they'd want to go and she said hell no - they won't be up for hours. I took a chance and opened each of their doors and yelled "SKANK BREAKFAST IN 10 MINUTES!" I was shocked to see they all answered the call with a "WTF is Skank Breakfast?" I explained that they can brush their teeth, but no showers or grooming - hats were acceptable and sweats were the outfit of choice. They all were in - again shockingly.

Once we got to the Ihop that they chose, I explained "no phones either" This was met with groans and I had them all toss them in their moms purse and they fussed a little, but not too much. I then told a joke which started them telling jokes and the phones were forgotten. I barely spoke the entire bfast as they told jokes and funny things that had happened recently.

When we got home they all went back to bed (as expected) fat and happy and my GF said "did you notice all the way home no one even asked for their phones back?!?!?" She said she has not seen them interact with each other that much in years and usually meals we a silent event.

The oldest was just months from leaving for college, but at THEIR request we did a few more before she left. That warmed my heart. After she was at school for 5-6 months, I got a text from the oldest one morning asking if such&such would break "Skank Breakfast" rules. She was taking a few of her housemates to their first Skank Breakfast.

Having never had kids and not being a parent - I think I got a 1% taste of what it is like to see your kids make you proud. =)

[cmyx6go]

Originally Posted by King Rudi

I shut my facebook account down years ago. Just recently re-opened it as more of a social experiment with a personal growth achievement I'm trying to work on. I'm a type A asshole. I'm trying to learn how to let people be themselves without me making them feel any particular way about their decision making. I figured facebook was a perfect place for me to see an abundance of ignorance to test my abilities of keeping my (online) mouth shut. I have to remain about 60% professional at work.....I come here for the other 40% to be dispensed upon you lot.



I will admit that I am all too quick to send an email versus calling. The only reason being is that juggling multiple projects under two different job titles, things can get a little scattered. With an email, I can always go back and verify the conversation, details of said conversation, install dates, product info etc. I'm more dependent on outlook than I am anything else. Now if I need to speak to a contractor, I always call them initially. I love messing with those guys.

To touch on the lack of human interaction. Some of the job interviewees today......wow..... I interviewed a girl a few years back that couldn't put her phone down the entire time she was in my office. At one point I stopped talking and just stared at her. The silence finally got her attention. She looked up from her phone and I just smiled and said, "No, it's ok. I don't have anything else to do with my day. I'll wait on you." She did not detect the sarcasm. When she finally looked up at me again, I didn't even finish the interview. I asked her if she had any questions. Of course she asked how much she would make an hour.

Don't get me wrong, I rely on email for a lot. BUT there are times when a call is the best way. If you need a favor, if it's something important, problem resolution....

I've had a few interviews like that. Pretty scary. We had one girl who was videoing her arrival?

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by cmyx6go

Don't get me wrong, I rely on email for a lot. BUT there are times when a call is the best way. If you need a favor, if it's something important, problem resolution....

I've had a few interviews like that. Pretty scary. We had one girl who was videoing her arrival?

I think I remember you either telling me about that interview or seeing it posted here. I'll agree with the favor aspect or if it's time sensitive for a phone call, absolutely.

[4Hockey4]

I'm down to just FB, have a few far away friends I chat with there. Shut down Twitter, Instagram etc 2 years ago.

We also don't turn on any "entertainment" news, and us BBC as our source.

This is actually my last web site I frequent. Email, here, FB on occasion.

Our boys are online and game etc, but dinners and other family activities they don't have phones out.

[zx10guy]

Having worked in various Federal Agencies and having had various issues pop up during my career, the bulk of my communication is email. The reason? All statements are documented. It's sad and a sign of the times when your word doesn't mean $hit. When I do have an important conversation on the phone where the potential to have things go sideways in a very bad way, I always follow up with an email re-iterating what was said and asking for concurrence.

As to social media (BTW I so hate hearing it being spoken), it's also a sign of people's lack of self control and social grace. It's a tool which many can't use properly. I compare it to credit cards. Plenty people say credit cards are evil but those are from people with zero self control. I have a Facebook account. I post occasionally. The only things on my page are things that make me happy and would also make others happy. I post up pics of my daughter and places I've been. I'll also throw up funny pictures which are non controversial. I roll my eyes when I see people get all bent out of shape with politics and other matters. I've seen a marriage fail partially due to the couple going at it on Facebook.

[spazzyfry123]

This subject is a main personal topic of mine. I cannot stand what has become. Seeing the transition of "pre-internet" to what we have now in such a short period of time is mind boggling. We are evolved to work within and receive feedback from small groups. Then POW, you can now be criticized by literally thousands of people within minutes. I go up the damn wall when I'm having a conversation with someone and they pull their phone out to check something or Google what we're talking about. "Oh I can multitask."

Now to hand a Critique-ilizer 9000 (phone with access to these thousands of people) to a young individual at some of the peak impressionable years of their lives...scary. The dopamine rush they feel from the instant gratification of endless information that's catered to their interests by way of tracking their usage has them constantly wanting more and constantly receiving it. They become to cherish the feedback - both good and bad - as a way for something new. It has developed an unrealistic approach to human interaction to the point that you see people pinch to zoom on REAL pictures and unable to hold face-to-face conversations because they're unable to Google for fact checking in the real world. Not so smart now, huh?

I feel hypocritical in that I am sending this over the internet and I would consider this platform social media as well. But I don't do the others - SnapChat, Instagram, FaceBook, Twitter... What I like about the OT is that even though there are thousands of people on here, there's a relative handful that actively participate. It's a quick way to blow off a few minutes for a break from work, but most importantly there isn't an infinite scroll like on the other other platforms. There is a stop measure in that you can actually catch up instead of being sucked in for hours.

My wife and I were setup by mutual friends with our first "date" being at the mutual friends' house. Things were going well with great conversation and we were really enjoying ourselves. My friend had asked her to pull something up on FaceBook for us to look at. Her response was "I don't have FaceBook." Here we have a total babe in her 20s that has zero social media platforms? I had tunnel vision and was in awe. As simple as that might seem, it was a huge deciding factor to push for the many dates to come. That simple sentence gave me a peek into what kind of person she was right out the gate. Now, here we are married with a newborn.

We're hoping that the next wave of hipsters will think it's cool to not have this garbage and stop being assholes to one another. Until then, contingency plan is to move up in the hills.

[fgpalmer71]

Originally Posted by RickFLM4

I feel... that people are too sensitive / soft. Yet I know it will only get worse. Social media accelerates and spotlights the erosion.

Everyone gets a ribbon......that was the beginning of the end and has turned us into spineless cry babies. No, not everyone wins. Yes, sometimes people lose. Those losses used to spark a fire in some of us and at times have driven people to higher heights then would have been possible otherwise!

For me social media is the bane of our current existence. It's like heroin to people.

[CTinline-six]

Social media has changed the world, for good and for bad. Need help fixing a BMW? The knowledge of several forum members are at your fingertips.

On the contrary, I also work in IT, specifically educational technology and have seen first hand the issues social media has caused with bullying. This ain't the 1970s and 1980s anymore, where bullies were at school, or they couldn't hurt you unless they were standing in front of your house. The reason so many kids commit suicide from online bullying is there is no escaping it. It follows them wherever they are, to the point where they feel the only escape is to commit suicide.

Think about how many hours per day you are near your phone, and that's how much some of these kids are being picked on.

[vreihen16]

Originally Posted by unluky

This is the problem. It is no longer an entertainment device for them - it is their entire life. Every part of their lives revolve around their phone - including their self-worth. When you give a device that much power over your life - you are doomed.

My typical weekly Apple iPhone/Watch screen time report is probably more suitable to the old farts thread:




.

[unluky]

Originally Posted by vreihen16

My typical weekly Apple iPhone/Watch screen time report is probably more suitable to the old farts thread:




.

LOL - I'd brag about that!!! When my sister allows her phone/watch to TELL HER she needs to walk more today - I give her shit. "Hey - wanna grab a drink??? Do you need to ask your phone first???"

[fiveohwblow]

You've opened a can of worms, but I sense you may have already known that. There are many threads dancing around this topic but none that take it head on that I have found.

Social media is absolutely causing the moral and social decay with the caustic allowance of all that is dark and ugly in humanity to be spotlighted and not hidden or suppressed. I often say that it was intended to be a highlight reel of ones life, but instead has become a lowlight reel.

In the early 2000's a study was done to show the percentage of folks who were lonely, it was staggeringly close to 4 out of 5. Most dont want to publicly admit it, but they are. They see these tools as an outlet for this loneliness and worse, a cure. The problem we all know is that there is no supplement for human interaction (queue 2020 reel) and thus, creates a false sense of connection.

I have heard rumors of studies done by AH in ww2 where he denied newborn babies human contact and thus they died, it wouldn't surprise me. We arent meant to be alone forever, or lack any interaction regardless of how antisocial or introverted we are. We believe we are "following" someones life by seeing what they choose to post but its an edited script delivering false narratives.

What bothers me the absolute most, and my wife of all people has each and every platform she can, is the inability to disconnect. I hear the lamest of excuses from "I run my business there" to "I connect with family/friends abroad blah blah blah. What are you using to do so? Oh yes, A PHONE. Call, text or do what you need. Business isn't predicated on Facebook and I have now two friends who have found more success without its terrible algorithms of advertising.

Dont even get me started on the influence it has on the weak minded.

I. HATE. SOCIAL. MEDIA.

[The Libertine]

I want no part of it; Twitter, Facebook, Instagram - believe these platforms either explicitly or implicitly have done more harm than good....