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      04-26-2019, 01:17 PM   #4093
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Originally Posted by Now_Rudi View Post
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Originally Posted by DETRoadster View Post
That's the key right there. Private account setting.

My wife is on FB and I'm not. Her account is on lock-down so random people cant find her and bother her. Also, because she's a doctor, she wants to be very careful about separating her professional life from her personal life. Needy, clingy, weird patients would be blowing up her personal FB page if they could find her.

Now_Rudi The question is, to what degree is your girl's profile on FB open and discover-able? If anyone can stumble across her profile and "friend" her, why? Why does she need that level of attention for randos?

If you haven't already, you really need to tell her you reached out to that dude and told him to back off. Otherwise, she finds out and suddenly you are the bad guy for interfering in her personal online life. I could see her feeling like she's a grown woman and doesn't need you to be the barometer for when someone is stepping over the line.
I have no idea how public her facebook account is. I know that she rarely posts anything and ignores the randos, but this particular guy was trying to weasel in a while back as well. Not to sound any certain way, but this guy is the ex of her exhusbands new wife. This was his way of finding an in to get to know her. She was friendly, civil and explained that she wasn't interested yet he has persisted. This is why I sent the message to him. I'm not the "don't be talking to my girl on social media bro" guy. She's let him know and now so have I. I took screen shots of the conversation between he and I and sent to her to protect myself of any misconceptions. She was more concerned of ensuring that I am all she wants. I think we're all good here. I accept the fact that there will always be guys trying and I'm cool with that. I'd be more concerned if they weren't. She actually thanked me being proactive enough to step in and say something without being rude or aggressive about it.
Ah, you're in the clear man. Nice work. Really sounds like you did the right thing and have nothing to worry about with respect to your woman.
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      04-26-2019, 01:20 PM   #4094
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Ah, you're in the clear man. Nice work. Really sounds like you did the right thing and have nothing to worry about with respect to your woman.
Appreciate it. I'm not an insecure or jealous guy at all. Some people are just hard up and think that flirting via social media will make women leave their man for them.....but then again this reason this happens is because there are those that do.
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      04-26-2019, 02:16 PM   #4095
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I have question for you gents. I am not on facebook, the girlfriend is. I have no idea what her facebook dwellings are like. She has acknowledged that she does get messages from random thirsty ass guys but she never responds. She has recently opened an instagram account and I have noticed the same guy starting to comment on her posts. At first it seemed harmless but today she posts a picture about smiling and how it shows the beauty of a soul. Within minutes homeboy posts the 100 emoji multiple times and then comments about how beautiful her smile is. I send him a message informing him that she has a boyfriend. Nothing crass, just a simple "Just a heads up, she has a boyfriend." He replies with "Oh okay, that's cool. I'm not being disrespectful we are just friends."

Is it wrong of me to send said message?
Wow, very wrong. You seem like a confident, secure guy so I'm quite shocked you did that.
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      04-26-2019, 02:37 PM   #4096
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Wow, very wrong. You seem like a confident, secure guy so I'm quite shocked you did that.
Yeah.....not like me. In a way I guess I felt like I needed to say something but....I dunno. I have no words. We all do dumb things on occasion I suppose. She isn't upset with me and that's my main concern. Pretty frustrated with myself that I even thought enough about it to even make the effort to send a message.
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      04-26-2019, 03:09 PM   #4097
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Originally Posted by Now_Rudi View Post
Yeah.....not like me. In a way I guess I felt like I needed to say something but....I dunno. I have no words. We all do dumb things on occasion I suppose. She isn't upset with me and that's my main concern. Pretty frustrated with myself that I even thought enough about it to even make the effort to send a message.
You know, this is very interesting, watching this unfold, with my bucket of licorice (I don't like popcorn).

It really doesn't matter much what us guys think about the matter, so let's deal with only what the female posters have said.

Now, we all know Lups is basically a male, so she doesn't count even though she hasn't replied, and doing the opposite of whatever she recommends is actually usually a pretty good course of action to take in life.

Therefore, we have basically 100% of the females that normally post on here being very strongly in the camp of "You shouldn't have done that". Which suggests they would have been offended had they been in your gf's shoes.

We have, as an opposing viewpoint, your gf, who appears to be happy with what you've done, or at the very least, not upset at all with you. Which is completely contradictory to our female contingent's feelings on the matter.

Now, it seems to me either one of two things is happening here:

1. Despite her words to the contrary, she is a little miffed at you, and you will soon find this out. The next argument should bring this to light if it is going to come up.

2. Because she was originally a little insecure about the relationship and how you feel about her, she takes your actions as positive, as it reinforces you care. Which would then mean that you were right to intervene. Which also means that depending on the woman, you could be right to intervene or you could be wrong.

Which all just boils down to women being fickle creatures and you don't have a hope of understanding them, so love them anyway and do what you were going to do because you have a 50% shot at getting it right anyways. And at least you'll be temporarily happy with yourself while you are doing what you wanted to do.

Time is a great teacher.
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      04-26-2019, 03:20 PM   #4098
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Originally Posted by Joekerr View Post
You know, this is very interesting, watching this unfold, with my bucket of licorice (I don't like popcorn).

It really doesn't matter much what us guys think about the matter, so let's deal with only what the female posters have said.

Now, we all know Lups is basically a male, so she doesn't count even though she hasn't replied, and doing the opposite of whatever she recommends is actually usually a pretty good course of action to take in life.

Therefore, we have basically 100% of the females that normally post on here being very strongly in the camp of "You shouldn't have done that". Which suggests they would have been offended had they been in your gf's shoes.

We have, as an opposing viewpoint, your gf, who appears to be happy with what you've done, or at the very least, not upset at all with you. Which is completely contradictory to our female contingent's feelings on the matter.

Now, it seems to me either one of two things is happening here:

1. Despite her words to the contrary, she is a little miffed at you, and you will soon find this out. The next argument should bring this to light if it is going to come up.

2. Because she was originally a little insecure about the relationship and how you feel about her, she takes your actions as positive, as it reinforces you care. Which would then mean that you were right to intervene. Which also means that depending on the woman, you could be right to intervene or you could be wrong.

Which all just boils down to women being fickle creatures and you don't have a hope of understanding them, so love them anyway and do what you were going to do because you have a 50% shot at getting it right anyways. And at least you'll be temporarily happy with yourself while you are doing what you wanted to do.

Time is a great teacher.
Joe your brilliance never ceases to amaze me. Your analytical ability to break things down to the rawest essence is what my friends come to me for and it bewilders me when you do it to me. I asked several of my friends about this situation today and what they would have done. All of them said they would have done the exact same thing I did. The perplexes the shit out of me. I've gotten mixed reviews on this.

The thing that does actually bother me about it is that I have gone from a take it or leave it stance with her to sending some guy a message basically planting my flag in her ass. WTF is wrong with me???

It's quite obvious that I care about her and enjoy our time together. Yes it is true that she is a good woman and I am quite fortunate to have her in my life but how the hell did I get here with all these damn feelings emotions and whatnot?

As long as she isn't upset about it...I mean genuinely not upset; not the kind of upset where she states that she isn't but then brings it up months later, then I'm ok with it. Deep down I feel like I should have just overlooked it and said or done nothing. Either way, lesson learned....no more messages to random guys who hit on my girl online.....next time, I drive to their house and beat them senseless like a real man.



I kid, I kid....
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      04-26-2019, 03:28 PM   #4099
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Originally Posted by Now_Rudi View Post
Joe your brilliance never ceases to amaze me.
I kid, I kid....
FTFY

Nah, I'm not brilliant, I just look at the world in a bemused sort of way, while trying to sidestep idiots who will make my life difficult and help others when I can.

Emotions are natural. Makes us human. Don't worry about your feelings, that's a good thing. You can put up a wall (I have before) and yeah, you won't get nearly as hurt, but you aren't going to enjoy life as much either, because it will always feel....I don't know - clinical I guess. Sanitized maybe...about the only words I can use to describe it.

Be selective, but be genuine is all I can say. I hope people see that about me - I've always tried to be very genuine and warm. So when you care about someone - great! Make sure they know it. Just be selective about who you let in.
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      04-26-2019, 03:42 PM   #4100
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Originally Posted by Joekerr View Post
FTFY

Nah, I'm not brilliant, I just look at the world in a bemused sort of way, while trying to sidestep idiots who will make my life difficult and help others when I can.

Emotions are natural. Makes us human. Don't worry about your feelings, that's a good thing. You can put up a wall (I have before) and yeah, you won't get nearly as hurt, but you aren't going to enjoy life as much either, because it will always feel....I don't know - clinical I guess. Sanitized maybe...about the only words I can use to describe it.

Be selective, but be genuine is all I can say. I hope people see that about me - I've always tried to be very genuine and warm. So when you care about someone - great! Make sure they know it. Just be selective about who you let in.
Sage advice and well stated. I will say that you are one of the handful on here that I relate with and respect your views. In the words of my eldest offspring a true O.G.
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      04-26-2019, 07:50 PM   #4101
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Originally Posted by nyalpine90 View Post
smh
good for you!
already with trust issues, control issues and no reason for it.
no one needs some1 that is that needy for attention, ridiculous demands
Thank you, sir. She is 46 and I broke a rule of mine by dating someone without kids. They tend to be selfish in my opinion. Confirmed.


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Originally Posted by UncleWede View Post
^Hispanic???

I warned you, didn't I?????
Multi. Hispanic and Greek. Thermonuclear detonation + Antimatter.

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Originally Posted by DETRoadster View Post
MK, sorry to hear about this. Best to find out now and not after you've invested more time in the relationship though. I have to say, I was REALLY hoping you were going to say you texted her a selfie from the Home Depot parking lot, holding up a sign that says "You're a crazy bitch."

BTW, the first part of your post that relates to the work you are doing and the schedule you are holding, would be a good copy/paste edition to the popular "my life is stuck in neutral" thread as an example of what it takes to be highly successful. Unless you are born into royalty, it's hard ass work to create success and your post provides a brilliant glimpse into that.
Thank-you, sir. I wish I would have thought of the selfie but I was only concerned about getting back to my parents. Brilliant sir, brilliant.

On the, "Day in the life of...", that's not a bad idea for a thread!!

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Originally Posted by DETRoadster View Post
I hate to stereotype, but yeah. Latinas. Yikes. So hot. So crazy.
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Originally Posted by nyalpine90 View Post
i bet she sounded like this...
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Originally Posted by Now_Rudi View Post
Very well handled sir. Craziness for sure but you handled this like a pro and a gentleman. Next!
Thank you, sir. I don't do conflict of that type and I won't let her drag me into her morass of poor behavior. Now if she had been posting in the Donald Trump Hits or Misses thread it would be a different story!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by CTinline-six View Post
After 3 months of dating, her first assumption when you aren't spending every waking minute of the day with her is that you are cheating??

Some people are just so insecure. I dated a girl like that a number of years ago. At the job I had during that time I was not allowed to be on my phone, and everything was on video. She knew this but still accused me of stuff. She even went through my phone and computer (that was the last straw), and felt pretty dumb when she found absolutely nothing. I ended it and didn't feel bad, because I didn't appreciate that treatment.
You know the drill then. It's ridiculous.

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Originally Posted by cmyx6go View Post
Crazy, insecure bitch! Gives us normal women a bad rap. Sorry, but not sorry. Better you find out now.
Thanks, milady! Your input is always wise and appreciated!!
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      04-27-2019, 05:06 AM   #4102
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Thank you, sir. She is 46 and I broke a rule of mine by dating someone without kids. They tend to be selfish in my opinion.
I had the same rule when I was dating, but made one exception......only if the woman could not have kids herself.

My current wife survived ovarian cancer before we met, so she knew she would never be able to have kids. It ended up working pretty well as when we got together, my daughter was 10 I think and I had full custody. But it gave her a chance to have that motherly experience since the real mom wasn't in the picture.

Even now that my daughter is grown, she still comes to my wife before her own mom who was back in the picture a few years back.

I'm happy you found out now rather than later. About 3 months was the longest I went before finding out one I was seeing was the same way. Pissed me off more than anything as I saw it as 3 months wasted!
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      04-27-2019, 09:03 AM   #4103
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Originally Posted by Rmtt View Post
I had the same rule when I was dating, but made one exception......only if the woman could not have kids herself.

My current wife survived ovarian cancer before we met, so she knew she would never be able to have kids. It ended up working pretty well as when we got together, my daughter was 10 I think and I had full custody. But it gave her a chance to have that motherly experience since the real mom wasn't in the picture.

Even now that my daughter is grown, she still comes to my wife before her own mom who was back in the picture a few years back.

I'm happy you found out now rather than later. About 3 months was the longest I went before finding out one I was seeing was the same way. Pissed me off more than anything as I saw it as 3 months wasted!
Well done and definitely the exception. My mom is an ovarian cancer survivor, as well.
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      04-27-2019, 03:41 PM   #4104
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Sounds loco esé
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      04-27-2019, 03:48 PM   #4105
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Sounds loco esé
Which part?
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      04-27-2019, 04:32 PM   #4106
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Originally Posted by Chelsea_Tractor View Post
Sounds loco esé
Which part?
Her jumping to conclusions. Insecurity.
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      04-28-2019, 01:36 PM   #4107
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Her jumping to conclusions. Insecurity.
100% correct.
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      04-28-2019, 10:54 PM   #4108
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she unmatched me in the few mins it took me to write that

how's your weekend been gents?
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      04-29-2019, 07:52 AM   #4109
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she unmatched me in the few mins it took me to write that

how's your weekend been gents?
Duuuuuude......

On the weekend note: Spent all day Saturday vinyl wrapping the grille and window trim on the Lexus. Looks less of a soccer mom's ride and mean as hell now. LED's for interior and exterior this weekend. Gonna wait after the concert next week to slap the gloss vinyl on the roof, then black badges. The poor girlfriend has to endure yet another modding phase; I'm beyond grateful she is understanding.
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      04-29-2019, 08:17 AM   #4110
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Duuuuuude......

On the weekend note: Spent all day Saturday vinyl wrapping the grille and window trim on the Lexus. Looks less of a soccer mom's ride and mean as hell now. LED's for interior and exterior this weekend. Gonna wait after the concert next week to slap the gloss vinyl on the roof, then black badges. The poor girlfriend has to endure yet another modding phase; I'm beyond grateful she is understanding.
I assume you'll post some pics after? Like to see the before and after.
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      04-29-2019, 08:39 AM   #4111
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I assume you'll post some pics after? Like to see the before and after.
Do we have a "What did you do to your car" non-BMW edition thread around here? I kinda feel like a traitor for being here now that the BMW is gone, but this place is WAY cooler than Club Lexus forums.
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      04-29-2019, 09:18 AM   #4112
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Do we have a "What did you do to your car" non-BMW edition thread around here? I kinda feel like a traitor for being here now that the BMW is gone, but this place is WAY cooler than Club Lexus forums.
No, closest we have is the "post a picture of what you just bought" thread. I've seen a bunch of Audi pictures there - not that I mind. I like Audi too - at least certain ones. Usually the ones that start out RS something.

I haven't owned a BMW since 2012 and I'm still around. Though I admit the newest M5 is appealing powerfully to me. I just don't think I can afford even a used example in 4 years. I should edit that to say "justifiably afford".
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      04-29-2019, 09:19 AM   #4113
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Originally Posted by Now_Rudi View Post
Do we have a "What did you do to your car" non-BMW edition thread around here? I kinda feel like a traitor for being here now that the BMW is gone, but this place is WAY cooler than Club Lexus forums.
No, closest we have is the "post a picture of what you just bought" thread. I've seen a bunch of Audi pictures there - not that I mind. I like Audi too - at least certain ones. Usually the ones that start out RS something.

I haven't owned a BMW since 2012 and I'm still around. Though I admit the newest M5 is appealing powerfully to me. I just don't think I can afford even a used example in 4 years. I should edit that to say "justifiably afford".
Just posted it in there.
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      04-29-2019, 09:22 AM   #4114
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Just posted it in there.
And I just saw it lol. We must have been thinking the same thing. Great minds do think alike you know.
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