Is it appropriate to put a suggested 'gift amount' on a wedding invite?

[Tyga11]

I have never in my life heard of this. Apparently this is a trend now...people are listing suggested gift amounts.

If you are over leveraged and can't afford a wedding...don't have one. I think $100 per person is beyond fair for not close family.

[M5Rick]

I agree, some over here call it TTP, if couples can't afford a wedding then go to a registry office.

[Llarry]

T-A-C-K-Y!

[cmyx6go]

Absolutely not! It's such nonsense. Have a party within your means. Everyone wants to keep up with the Jones's and have an over the top wedding that is Instagram worthy and expect others to pay for it.

[RickFLM4]

I am aware of gift registries where there are pre-selected preferred gifts at various price points, but never heard of a suggested cash gift amount. But then again, I also never heard of suggested tips of 25%-30% in places where tips didn’t exist or were more like 10% (such as takeout) a few years ago.

How much was the suggested gift amount? Seems like an easy out to find a conflict on the wedding date if not someone you know well.

[Oldgixxer]

No couth whatsoever

[///MPhatic]

Absolutely not.

[pikkagtr]

I've got a schedules sick day during your event
RSVP declined

[TTM0TION]

Wow, I’ve never seen that. But then $100 would be on the low end where I live at least.

I did have friends that were trying to figure out a way to not get the stupid gifts from Things Remembered which I understand but don’t know how you can do.

[evomike]

Judging by OP's suggested gift price I think I see why they put a suggested gift amount on the invite

[bimmer456]

Yup they should pay to attend would prefer that myself to getting no invite as the couple needs to keep cost down so I get it.

[RickFLM4]

Originally Posted by evomike

Judging by OP's suggested gift price I think I see why they put a suggested gift amount on the invite

Are you kidding? 100 bucks isn't enough of a gift nowadays? How much do people expect?

People should be invited to a wedding out of respect and wanting to share the day with them. It shouldn't be about arbitrage between gift value vs. headcount cost.

[TTM0TION]

Originally Posted by RickFLM4

Are you kidding? 100 bucks isn't enough of a gift nowadays? How much do people expect?

People should be invited to a wedding out of respect and wanting to share the day with them. It shouldn't be about arbitrage between gift value vs. headcount cost.

In the theory that you should be covering the plate, you are hard pressed to find anywhere that’s $100. (I understand this could be region specific) I think about it like going to a nice dinner, you can barely go for dinner with drinks, apps, etc for $100 a person. The last wedding I went to was a good friend of ours and we gave $500 for my wife and I. Pretty much everyone did the same, some more.

[evomike]

Originally Posted by RickFLM4

Are you kidding? 100 bucks isn't enough of a gift nowadays? How much do people expect?

People should be invited to a wedding out of respect and wanting to share the day with them. It shouldn't be about arbitrage between gift value vs. headcount cost.

the going price for what I have heard lately is 150 per guest, so if you bring a plus one and are close you should give 300. With that being said every market area will vary but that is the norm in the north east right now, safe bet to not look cheap is too ask others what they are giving if you are unsure. Rule of thumb used to always be your gift should at least cover the cost of your plate and with everything else prices are out of hand, the way I look at it is $300 for a night of fun free drinks and food with my family and friends is completely ok.

[RickFLM4]

Originally Posted by TTM0TION

In the theory that you should be covering the plate, you are hard pressed to find anywhere that’s $100. (I understand this could be region specific) I think about it like going to a nice dinner, you can barely go for dinner with drinks, apps, etc for $100 a person. The last wedding I went to was a good friend of ours and we gave $500 for my wife and I. Pretty much everyone did the same, some more.

Originally Posted by evomike

the going price for what I have heard lately is 150 per guest, so if you bring a plus one and are close you should give 300. With that being said every market area will vary but that is the norm in the north east right now, safe bet to not look cheap is too ask others what they are giving if you are unsure. Rule of thumb used to always be your gift should at least cover the cost of your plate and with everything else prices are out of hand, the way I look at it is $300 for a night of fun free drinks and food with my family and friends is completely ok.

When I go to dinner I get to choose where I go and what I eat and drink and I am not stuck there for 4 hours. A wedding (especially and over the top event) would never be my choice vs. dinner in a nice restaurant, but I’d go if invited out of respect for the bride and groom and their parents.

The bride and groom or their families cover the cost of the wedding. The gift is a gift, not a payment for dinner, especially if the bride and groom keep the gift but their family pays for the wedding. Something got fucked up along the way if that’s not the way people think of it anymore.

[evomike]

Originally Posted by RickFLM4

When I go to dinner I get to choose where I go and what I eat and drink and I am not stuck there for 4 hours. A wedding (especially and over the top event) would never be my choice vs. dinner in a nice restaurant, but I’d go if invited out of respect for the bride and groom and their parents.

The bride and groom or their families cover the cost of the wedding. The gift is a gift, not a payment for dinner, especially if the bride and groom keep the gift but their family pays for the wedding. Something got fucked up along the way if that’s not the way people think of it anymore.

if this is your thinking it is completely ok to think this way, however don't be shocked to learn people gossip so and so has a bmw but boy is he cheap guess that's how he affords it.

[RickFLM4]

Originally Posted by evomike

if this is your thinking it is completely ok to think this way, however don't be shocked to learn people gossip so and so has a bmw but boy is he cheap guess that's how he affords it.

If that were someone's reaction to a gift, I'd hope they would spread the word so the next person planning to invite us solely because they expect a big gift skips the invite altogether.

[TTM0TION]

I also think weddings are a great time and the “over the top” ones are also. So there’s that. Some enjoy them, some don’t. I get that also.

[Mason Hatcher]

This is bizarre to me. OP, is the couple very young and currently not living together? The whole idea of gifts was to help a young couple set up house. Now with people shacking up before marriage they already have set up house. Expecting gifts in such a situation is tacky. 2nd and subsequent marriages, GTFO

[DieselDiner]

Sounds like wedding crowd funding. If this represents the 'current trend' then as some of the posters have noted, the 'traditional' concept of including a gift to help the couple set up their home is capoot, and now the expectation is for the attendees to fund whatever the wedding party has chosen for themselves. As a great philosopher once said, "Fuck that".

[G35POPPEDMYCHERRY]

Originally Posted by RickFLM4

If that were someone's reaction to a gift, I'd hope they would spread the word so the next person planning to invite us solely because they expect a big gift skips the invite altogether.

not everyone is as mentally sound as you...its a fucking sick world with sick people

like a BMW is even expensive

[G35POPPEDMYCHERRY]

WHERES is your bread where is your wine....GET OUT