online match maker - who has used one?

[upstatedoc]

Originally Posted by tom2021

Old fashion ways to meet new people: join book club, wine club, astronomy club, etc; take a course at community college.

You forgot yoga class and green peace volunteer

[JTM09]

Every situation is different.

I met my wife in college like normal people do. We were married for 19 years until she went off the reservation and left my son and I to live 2000 miles away.

I am not into wasting time, fake profiles, lies and playing games. Meeting someone IRL and seeing they are +30lbs from their profile pic is an instant turn off. That is why I'd gladly pay someone to assist.

My 2 cents : I think IJL knows exactly what to say to people to get them to join. Very smart, very convincing sales reps. But they will not back up any claims, offer any refunds or proof until you are locked in and fully paid. I dont do business like that.

better off to take the 5Gs and buy another watch

[TheWatchGuy]

isnt Tinder free? try that

[DocL]

I meet my first wife on one of those online dating sites. Ends up she had lived in my neighborhood when she was engaged. When we meet, she said you're the guy who had all those cars and would always be washing them lol. Once again, she was my first wife. Meet my current wife though a mutual couple who set us up on a date. Needless to say we have been married for 11 years but no longer talk to the couple who set us up.

[Germanauto]

In my late 20s and have found majority of people on dating apps are not serious. Hinge is probably the best bet, but even then, chicks have A LOT of options. I have had some success but nothing lasting...yet. I've seen some relationships lead to marriage from Hinge, but most people I know met organically in grad school or something along those lines.

Never tried the actual OG dating sites like Match eHarmony and what not. Seems somewhat taboo for my generation, but worth a shot if things get to that point.

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by DocL

I meet my first wife on one of those online dating sites. Ends up she had lived in my neighborhood when she was engaged. When we meet, she said you're the guy who had all those cars and would always be washing them lol. Once again, she was my first wife. Meet my current wife though a mutual couple who set us up on a date. Needless to say we have been married for 11 years but no longer talk to the couple who set us up.

What happened / why do you no longer talk to the couple that set you up?

[DenverSteve]

Originally Posted by DocL

....Needless to say we have been married for 11 years but no longer talk to the couple who set us up.

Needless to say, why? When my wife and I were dating 35 years ago, we introduced two friends (one hers, one mine) to each other. They married 6 months before us. Now after 33 years married, they are arriving from D.C. on Sunday to visit for a few days. "Needless to say", we are still great friends even though the distance from the coast to the mountains is pretty far.

[DocL]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

What happened / why do you no longer talk to the couple that set you up?

I did a few thousand dollars worth of dental treatment and she kept the insurance check that was sent to her. I called my friend and he cursed me out, and called me a liar saying his wife didn't cash the check. When I provided a copy of the cashed check from the insurance company he didn't even apologize, but he did pay me what he owed. It did take six months to finally get paid.

That was it for me.

[c1pher]

[AnthonyVincent]

$5000 is too much to find someone. I've tried some of the major online dating sites and yes, I've met many women but there seems to be a lot of exaggeration and deceit on those sites. Problem with dating sites is that the competition is fierce which could encourage people to misrepresent themselves so they stand out. They do work but it takes a lot of effort.

I live in Miami, FL and have joined two singles groups on Meetup (https://www.meetup.com/) and the activities are fun and effective. Not sure if that site is available nationwide or outside of the USA. I did meet a woman at one of these activities that I started dating recently. Taking it real slow but there is potential.

But in conclusion, the really expensive dating services may work but I can't see paying that much to find a partner. The concept just appears much too unnatural. My opinion.

[c1pher]

Originally Posted by AnthonyVincent

$5000 is too much to find someone. I've tried some of the major online dating sites and yes, I've met many women but there seems to be a lot of exaggeration and deceit on those sites. Problem with dating sites is that the competition is fierce which could encourage people to misrepresent themselves so they stand out. They do work but it takes a lot of effort.

I live in Miami, FL and have joined two singles groups on Meetup (https://www.meetup.com/) and the activities are fun and effective. Not sure if that site is available nationwide or outside of the USA. I did meet a woman at one of these activities that I started dating recently. Taking it real slow but there is potential.

But in conclusion, the really expensive dating services may work but I can't see paying that much to find a partner. The concept just appears much too unnatural. My opinion.

I don’t know, if $5k gave you some level of assurance that you won’t lose half of everything you have, sounds like it could be a bargain.

[ryan stewart]

Originally Posted by BMW F22

I have not tried these. Thought about it and decided no. No guaranteed results. Was trying to get into The League but that was like pulling teeth. You never get in unless you pay. Tried free dating apps and it’s been okay. I prefer meeting people in person as it takes away the awkwardness of first dates with people online. Deleted all the apps a while ago and never looked back. If I’m destined to be alone then so be it. I am content being single so no rush.

I briefly checked out the online stuff (like literally two weeks) after getting out of a long term relationship before ending up back in another and I definitely wasn't the type of person who was going to likely meet a future wife on there. All I ever got were hookups or short-term pen pals. I think mainly because Im just not for texting, I would always push to meet in person ASAP (not even as a hookup strategy, I just cant get a good feel for someone without body language, etc). I think it read as aggressive so the only ones who took were the ones looking to get laid. If that wasnt it I would get bored with the timidness of the rest really quickly and just cut it off.

I met my current through a mutual set of friends at a birthday party. Im just much better at communicating in real life.

[ryan stewart]

Originally Posted by AnthonyVincent

I live in Miami, FL and have joined two singles groups on Meetup (https://www.meetup.com/) and the activities are fun and effective. Not sure if that site is available nationwide or outside of the USA. I did meet a woman at one of these activities that I started dating recently. Taking it real slow but there is potential.

Honestly that is what I keep trying to push my single friends who dont seem to be able to open conversations to do. Take their hobbies/passions and get into groups with it, it (the activity) gives you an icebreaker and maybe you can find someone who is into what you're into. And if it doesn't work out relationship wise you might at least expand your friend group.

The nature of it lowers the sting/risk of rejection going in cold. Id think you could slowly gauge interest before asking.

[ryan stewart]

Originally Posted by JTM09

I am not into wasting time, fake profiles, lies and playing games. Meeting someone IRL and seeing they are +30lbs from their profile pic is an instant turn off. That is why I'd gladly pay someone to assist.

better off to take the 5Gs and buy another watch

Yes, get the watch.

Your reasons are why I didnt like online dating. If I showed up and she didnt look like her pics I just left. Thankfully only happened twice. I admittedly was pretty cold about it but no reason to feel bad, they were the ones lying.

And only agree to coffee too, that way you arent in a situation where youre fucking stuck there. My idiot coworker kept taking women on dinner dates. Use coffee or happy hour as the INTERVIEW for the date.

[Finn Germai-Yaz]

Originally Posted by TheWatchGuy

isnt Tinder free? try that

The free version only gives you about 25 free swipes until you have to wait 24 hours to swipe again. out of those 25 swipes, 5 are fake bots, 5 never reply, 5 are gold digging whores, 5 are onlyfans whores, and 5 are antivax crazy.

[upstatedoc]

Originally Posted by nawfoo

The free version only gives you about 25 free swipes until you have to wait 24 hours to swipe again. out of those 25 swipes, 5 are fake bots, 5 never reply, 5 are gold digging whores, 5 are onlyfans whores, and 5 are antivax crazy.

Sounds like you have some experience.

[DocL]

Another option for some of you is to apply to be on Married at First Sight. Man are there some great train wrecks on that show.

[Rebound]

You own a BMW, what more do you need?

My sincere advice is this: Spend your weekends doing what you love. That is where you are most likely to find someone you’re compatible with. And if you spend your weekends in the house… that’s a problem, because that’s probably not the kind of person you want to date, so it isn’t the kind of person you want to be.

Take a look at MeetUp.com. It’s free. Photography, hiking, beer drinking, scuba… whatever interests you. Join a gym and go after work. That’s particularly rewarding.

[DenverSteve]

The way to be successful when meeting people, whether job interviews or dating, is to be comfortable and confident in who you are. Anyone looking desperate will be quickly seen as exactly that. Be happy in your singleness but open to adventure when you do meet someone who checks some of your boxes. You find the best treasures when you're not looking. Just do the things you like to do and be happy doing them. Then, when you meet someone you'll be happy doing things together. I wouldn't date anyone who is sitting around a computer waiting for some swipe to work out.

Also remember that, unless you're 16, most adults aren't looking for a constant companion. They don't want to feel that they have to be someone's "everything". Continue to be yourself, do your things, and continue to have your private space and time. Many potential relationships get smothered because one party is too needy and clinging. Which brings us back to be happy and comfortable in who you are before looking to bring someone into your orbit. Also, get off the computer and speak to everyone you meet. That's where you'll make personal connections.

[F30lolz]

That is some serious coin there. Best bet to meet someone IMHO is networking as some people find another because they know their father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate. Also, I wonder how many ‘true’ women are really on that site.

[Torgus]

I hear Grinder is very popular and you get lots of fast results. I would start there.

5k buys you a decent number(20) of dates if you figure dinner or an event out is going to cost you roughly $250 each time.

[upstatedoc]

Originally Posted by DocL

Another option for some of you is to apply to be on Married at First Sight. Man are there some great train wrecks on that show.

You could also try 90 day fiancé or my big fat disgusting life