She wants me to drive the 335i while she drives my daily driver

[Tambohamilton]

Originally Posted by cmyx6go

I'm sorry. You offered to pay the $200 and that's not good enough?

It doesn't matter if your car is a Ferrari, a 335 or a POS. You offered to help and it wasn't good enough for her. I wouldn't do it. She is being unreasonable.

+1

[chris719]

Just think of this as an opportunity to drive it. If you can't drive it for 10 days in September / October then why do you even have it?

If this were reversed, my car was in the shop, and my girlfriend wouldn't drive her 335 to work for 10 days so I could avoid renting a car I'd be wondering what was wrong with her.

I might understand if this were a Ferrari in the middle of winter or something.

[chris719]

Originally Posted by shiftdnb

I've watched how my wife treats her car, she doesn't drive mine and she understands why.

She's asking to drive his beater, not his 335 though...

[Alfisti]

Originally Posted by R N M

This is a HUGE red flag imo.
Once your married and especially with kids, you will have many more responsibilities and issues to work through, the wrong woman can make your life hell.

I am going to derail the thread but fuck me I have to vent.

Had a decent day, kids birthday, small close contacts party cos covid, kids happy, i'm good etc. Kids showered and about to go to bed, i grab a towel from the closet, psycho wife CHARGES in SCREAMING NO NO NO...................NO MORE TOWELS. I'm like, "they're wet, you three had a shower so the three towels hanging are wet, i want a dry towel".

She screams on about there being too much laundry and me being a grown arse man that can't deal with a damp towel. This is a woman who ran the pool heater for 12 solid hours, no rest, so she could swim for 30 minutes today.

This just happened now, right in front of both kids.

Absolute fucking nut case.

[TiMSport]

Call up GF #2 and be done with it.

[NemesisX]

Originally Posted by Alfisti

I am going to derail the thread but fuck me I have to vent.

Had a decent day, kids birthday, small close contacts party cos covid, kids happy, i'm good etc. Kids showered and about to go to bed, i grab a towel from the closet, psycho wife CHARGES in SCREAMING NO NO NO...................NO MORE TOWELS. I'm like, "they're wet, you three had a shower so the three towels hanging are wet, i want a dry towel".

She screams on about there being too much laundry and me being a grown arse man that can't deal with a damp towel. This is a woman who ran the pool heater for 12 solid hours, no rest, so she could swim for 30 minutes today.

This just happened now, right in front of both kids.

Absolute fucking nut case.

Pretty toxic behavior on your wife's part.

[TiMSport]

LOL. Did the wife mix some red wine with her Ambien?

[carseatsm5]

I love my car too and would pay the $200!

[Alfisti]

Originally Posted by NemesisX

Pretty toxic behavior on your wife's part.

I could write a book. I am FAR from perfect but I am a solid man. I'm just fucking whining now but jesus H, the stories I could tell. Example above is not unusual.

[c1pher]

Why would she be upset if you’re paying the money while she continues to drive the rental and allow you to keep the miles down? It sounds like she’s trying to weasel her way in and control you…..I’d be more like take the $200 or walk, your choice. I have rented cars for trips instead of taking my own car to reduce wear and tear. Makes perfect sense to me, so there must be some ulterior motive there.

After thinking about it, it’s a $hit test to see if your car is more important than she is. However it’s a conflation of two different things and how you solve her money issue clearly doesn’t have to involve you letting her use your car or making you drive a car you hold dear.

You may want to re-evaluate your long term prospects with this person. If something small can create an issue, image what marriage will do after she gets half your 335i in a divorce. Been there done that, let me save you the pain.

[Alfisti]

Originally Posted by c1pher

After thinking about it, it’s a $hit test to see if your car is more important than she is. However it’s a conflation of two different things and how you solve her money issue clearly doesn’t have to involve you letting her use your car or making you drive a car you hold dear.

This. It's a little test to see where she stands/what she can demand. Even if it is subconscious.

[carseatsm5]

Why are people so skeptical and critical? People argue over dumb stuff all time. She’s probably just annoyed over how precious he is with the car. This is a very typical complaint among wives and girlfriends who see us disappear into the garage every weekend.

And so what it’s not a Lambo? That’s the beauty of this hobby we love what we can afford for whatever reason. Doesn’t have to be a supercar.

Book a fancy dinner reservation, get all gussied up and take her in the 335. Just don’t let the damn valet scratch it!

[c1pher]

Originally Posted by Alfisti

I am going to derail the thread but fuck me I have to vent.

Had a decent day, kids birthday, small close contacts party cos covid, kids happy, i'm good etc. Kids showered and about to go to bed, i grab a towel from the closet, psycho wife CHARGES in SCREAMING NO NO NO...................NO MORE TOWELS. I'm like, "they're wet, you three had a shower so the three towels hanging are wet, i want a dry towel".

She screams on about there being too much laundry and me being a grown arse man that can't deal with a damp towel. This is a woman who ran the pool heater for 12 solid hours, no rest, so she could swim for 30 minutes today.

This just happened now, right in front of both kids.

Absolute fucking nut case.

Man, that stuff just gives me the chills. Married 20 years to that. But I’m the bad guy for getting divorced lol.

[Alfisti]

Originally Posted by carseatsm5

Why are people so skeptical and critical? People argue over dumb stuff all time. She’s probably just annoyed over how precious he is with the car. This is a very typical complaint among wives and girlfriends who see us disappear into the garage every weekend.

I think because a lot of us have seen things start small like this then blow up.

I am giving the OP benefit of the doubt he doesn't vanish all weekend in the garage and neglect the missus. But she must be nudging 50, she's gotta have a hobby.

[c1pher]

Originally Posted by carseatsm5

Why are people so skeptical and critical? People argue over dumb stuff all time. She’s probably just annoyed over how precious he is with the car. This is a very typical complaint among wives and girlfriends who see us disappear into the garage every weekend.

And so what it’s not a Lambo? That’s the beauty of this hobby we love what we can afford for whatever reason. Doesn’t have to be a supercar.

Book a fancy dinner reservation, get all gussied up and take her in the 335. Just don’t let the damn valet scratch it!

The issue I see with it is that she had a solution in mind, but gets upset when OP offers an equally acceptable solution. That’s a control issue. Me personally, no thanks. Unless you can explain rationally and logically why it makes better sense, which she can’t, then it’s her trying to take control over him and rape him emotionally. First time OP is driving his 335 in the rain, he will be silently cursing his GF, but of course can’t say anything because he agreed to it and it’s his fault because “he could have said no” after all lol.. I know how this goes.

[Alfisti]

Originally Posted by c1pher

The issue I see with it is that she had a solution in mind, but gets upset when OP offers an equally acceptable solution. That’s a control issue. Me personally, no thanks. Unless you can explain rationally and logically why it makes better sense, which she can’t, then it’s her trying to take control over him and rape him emotionally. First time OP is driving his 335 in the rain, he will be silently cursing his GF, but of course can’t say anything because he agreed to it and it’s his fault because “he could have said no” after all lol.. I know how this goes.

He's bang on the money. Scary.

[Alfisti]

Originally Posted by c1pher

Man, that stuff just gives me the chills. Married 20 years to that. But I’m the bad guy for getting divorced lol.

We need a spousal venting thread.

[c1pher]

[minn19]

Wow, a lot of you guys are blowing this way out of proportion based on your own crappy marriages/relationships.

I think both are being unreasonable but I side more with the female. If you can’t be bothered enough to drive a 13 year old car a few days/maybe a 100 miles to help her out than I think she should leave you. I also think it’s ridiculous for her to get pissed over $200 and your offer. I suspect there is a lot more history here and it isn’t about the money from her side.

[Alfisti]

Originally Posted by minn19

Wow, a lot of you guys are blowing this way out of proportion based on your own crappy marriages/relationships.

This is 100pc possible. I've seen it in two other marriages that are clusterfucks and more importantly, I DON'T see these things in good marriages.

[minn19]

Originally Posted by Alfisti

This is 100pc possible. I've seen it in two other marriages that are clusterfucks and more importantly, I DON'T see these things in good marriages.

We can all be unreasonable at times. My first marriage was a disaster. Thankfully I’m about to celebrate my twenty year anniversary for my second one. I guess somewhere along the line we learned a small amount of money or a material object wasn’t going to come between us in any meaningful way. Save the battles for the truly serious things that matter.

[shawnhayes]

Originally Posted by Alfisti

This is 100pc possible. I've seen it in two other marriages that are clusterfucks and more importantly, I DON'T see these things in good marriages.

And THAT's the point. Good relationships don't have these as issues. GOOD women and men see the "sticking points" in the other persons life - their hangups, their quirks, their eccentricities - and BACK THE F off on them because it's not worth the relationship.

The psycho's "F" with the other person in a stupid gameplay of "what can I get away with?".

My advice - and what would I do? If the GF doesn't appreciate your offer to take care of her, and wants to invade your space without regard to your offer of a compromise, then that will be a prototype for future interactions. There will be NOTHING that isn't "ours". Be careful, if "your" things are "our" things, but "her" things are "her" things - settle on it being like that FOREVER. Assess the situation, and choose.

The other thing to do is just frankly, be creative. Let her drive your daily, and YOU go get a rental while the 335 sits pretty.

Shawn