She wants me to drive the 335i while she drives my daily driver

[Alfisti]

As a middle aged man to younger man, this is the kind of bullshit one overlooks pre-marriage then eats away at the relationship once saddled with mortgage and kids.

This is a flat out sign that a) she won't take responsibility and b) she is entitled. More alarming is it may point to a lack of rational thinking, if you are generally rational and she is not, she's going to drive you fucking insane in the future as life responsibilities crowd your mind.

I'd cut bait, i know that is harsh but life is too short to deal with this type of bs on a regular basis. At the very least hold your ground, too many men buckle to avoid the inevitable grumpy mood and shit show women put on when they don't get their way. But like small kids who get what they want when they throw a tantrum, unless you draw a line in the sand now she will keep doing it. Say it is what it is, you're not changing your mid for a lousy $200. If she cracks the shits for days on end, again, cut bait.

[Tommy-G]

Maybe I missed it....why cant you drive the 335 and let her drive whatever you're driving now?

[Wakka]

Originally Posted by Tommy-G

Maybe I missed it....why cant you drive the 335 and let her drive whatever you're driving now?

Because he thinks his 335 is a lambo

[Alfisti]

Originally Posted by Wakka

Because he thinks his 335 is a lambo

Doesn't matter. All that matters is he doesn't want it ruined, he is a young man, it is his cherished possession. It's the same as asking her to wear her best shows to work every day.

[Gregrobin]

Originally Posted by Alfisti

Doesn't matter. All that matters is he doesn't want it ruined, he is a young man, it is his cherished possession. It's the same as asking her to wear her best shows to work every day.

This

Originally Posted by Alfisti

As a middle aged man to younger man, this is the kind of bullshit one overlooks pre-marriage then eats away at the relationship once saddled with mortgage and kids. .

Middle age is long behind me, I am 55, no kids.

[omasou]

Originally Posted by Gregrobin

Agreed, not looking for counseling on our relationship though, more of a "what would you do post" ;-)

I get your point though, and appreciate it.

Just noticed you're in VA.

I would prefer to not drive in commuter traffic w/any car.

Maybe this can help http://www.drpt.virginia.gov

[Gregrobin]

No it's not a lambo, Ferrari, etc. But to me, having grown up dirt poor, and now I have money, it means a lot to, me. I challenged myself to do all of the mods myself. I've done things to this car I have never done to ANY car. It's been a blast, I have loved every minute of it.

Originally Posted by omasou

Just noticed you're in VA.

I would prefer to not drive in commuter traffic w/any car.

Thank you, and yeah, if I wreck the car than I am on the hook for a deductible and it showing up on a CarFax report.

[zx10guy]

Originally Posted by Gregrobin

And yes, to some degree I feel it's ridiculous, likes it's just a car., what's the big deal. It's my pride and joy though, my toy, lots of sweat equity in it. Yes, there is an emotional attachment to it I can't quite explain.

You don't have to justify to anyone how you feel about your car. I've seen people daily cars that many of us would think they're out of their mind. And I've seen people treat their cars like gold when it's what many of us consider a piece of crap. Point is, you have your emotional investment in it along with your money.

Another point is when you daily a vehicle, the chances of it getting into a a mishap goes up. It's a fact. And your insurance rates bear this out. Cars daily driven will have higher premiums than a car that is under limited driving coverage.

Finally, if she's looking at it from a frugal standpoint, when you get a chance to use someone else's vehicle for a nominal amount, it's always cheaper than using your own car for "free". Consider the mileage and wear and tear you're saving from not using your own car.

[Gregrobin]

Originally Posted by zx10guy

You don't have to justify to anyone how you feel about your car. I've seen people daily cars that many of us would think they're out of their mind. And I've seen people treat their cars like gold when it's what many of us consider a piece of crap. Point is, you have your emotional investment in it along with your money.

Another point is when you daily a vehicle, the chances of it getting into a a mishap goes up. It's a fact. And your insurance rates bear this out. Cars daily driven will have higher premiums than a car that is under limited driving coverage.

Finally, if she's looking at it from a frugal standpoint, when you get a chance to use someone else's vehicle for a nominal amount, it's always cheaper than using your own car for "free". Consider the mileage and wear and tear you're saving from not using your own car.

Well said, thanks

[Sara]

Originally Posted by tcphoto

Is she going to spend the $200 on a new handbag or shoes? As posted previously, this could be a sign of things to come and I wouldn't play that game.

[shiftdnb]

I've watched how my wife treats her car, she doesn't drive mine and she understands why.

[3.0L]

Just make sure she's covered by your or her insurance if you decide to let her drive your 335i.

[heitzke]

IMO she should respect that your belongings are separate entities that she doesn't have any stake over, same as you as a person. Offering to cover the cost of the rental makes sense to me, yet she's acting as though she's entitled to the things that you've purchased for yourself.

If it were me? They're just cars - i'd drive the 335i and let her beat around in my daily but they're not my belongings and not my relationship. You bought them and can treat them however you'd like.

[tcphoto]

Originally Posted by Sara

You don’t think that’s realistic?

[jsf721]

They don’t get it. You offered to pay and that reason enough to say no. Plus you need to think about if she GF material. Jacky saying. She don’t get auto mania and that sucks for you Ling term.

[cmyx6go]

I'm sorry. You offered to pay the $200 and that's not good enough?

It doesn't matter if your car is a Ferrari, a 335 or a POS. You offered to help and it wasn't good enough for her. I wouldn't do it. She is being unreasonable.

[zipstic]

Originally Posted by Gregrobin

I told her I would pay the $200.

Originally Posted by Gregrobin

My daily driver is a Toyota Highlander.

I should add, daily driving to me is to/from the club/gym for tennis/workout 2-3 times a week as I now work from home. Maybe an occasional trip to run an errand.

If her car is going to be in the shop for 10 days then you're leaving your house about 4 to 6 times.

Can you tell her she can drive take your Highlander and then you use the $200 you offered her as your Uber budget to go to the slub/gym until she gets her car back? That way she can drive your daily and you don't have to drive the 335, unless you're feeling saucy and want to take it out one day.

[mapleleaf1773]

I'd get a new gf. You marry her and who knows what will happen lol

[6oclockshadow]

Leave her. She's unreasonable.

[Monster335]

My girl doesnt want to drive my car even if something happens to hers. Your girl/wife is a bitch. She needs to know her role. Move on.

[R N M]

This is a HUGE red flag imo.

Coming from someone married with 2 kids lol
If she is like this now, you will be asking for permission to pee once she got a ring and kids running around.

My wife doesn’t mess with my cars or go into my garage. I don’t mess with her clothes, shoes, jewelry etc. Important to respect each other’s passions/interest, no matter how silly it is.

Once your married, you will fight over dumb crap so if you are fighting now over important things that matter - its not good at all. Once your married and especially with kids, you will have many more responsibilities and issues to work through, the wrong woman can make your life hell. If you are into cars, your gf should already know how you are and respect your wishes.

[upstatedoc]

I love the my car>SO threads