Car electronics/codes are bugging out... pls help

[Maxmil982]

The back drop is... Car was fine before I went to work on replacing ac compressor and one of the injectors. I unplugged both terminals on the battery while it was off the road...ended up going on vacation in the middle of the repairs, so battery was disconnected for about 2weeks. Only thing out of the ordinary I did was flip the injectors around on the fuel rail and also plugged the electrical connectors and fuel lines up to them. Then, with the coils unplugged, I cranked the car several times to test for leaking and spray pattern. The car did crank, and fuel sprayed out of the injectors. Thing is the car stopped cranking after about 4 rounds of this (I held it cranked for only about 5 seconds each time). I unplugged the connectors on the injectors and it did crank again. Plugged the connectors back up and it stopped cranking. Probably stupid idea!! Anyway, I figured it was just that the coils were unplugged that it stopped cranking. I get everything back together and the car still wouldn't crank, but now it's throwing all sorts of codes and errors:

Car Access system
A0B4 - engine start, starter operation

Engine
CDAD - Message error (request, wheel torque, drivetrain, OxBF), DME receiver, DSC / LDM transmitter

2E97 - Generator

2E34 - Fuel injector, cylinder 5, activation
2E32 - Fuel injector, cylinder 3, activation
2E35 - Fuel injector, cylinder 6, activation

Stability control
D359 - No message (S2L, 0x008), receiver DSC, transmitter 52L

5F2F - Interface, transmission control

5EBA - Steering-angle sensor, plausibility (existed previously)

Cluster
A559 - Dashboard: voltage supply switched off

Airbag
93FC - ACSM/MRS: Battery lead, positive (monitoring of
shielding)

93FD - ACSM/MRS Battery lead, ground (monitoring of shielding)


I was able to go into Protools and reset all the ECUs (I also reset all the error codes, but they all came right back), EXCEPT the CAS and DSC ECUs... both of them produced this error:

FAILURE
Could not complete the operation. Please check your
connection and make sure the ignition is ON. (Ignition was on)
Error: 0x84

iDrive is also lit up with errors (see pic). There's a few more errors on iDrive too... even one for "brake pads at minimum" and those pads are literally 2months from new... so that's a false reading.
"Washer fluid low" is also a false reading

I replaced the starter 50K miles ago. (I'm considering changing it, but don't think a bad starter would produce all these errors). The starter does click when I go to start the car, but nothing else happens.
The battery and IBS cable are even newer (last year) and voltage is good at 12.7V. Car won't accept a jump from a jump box (under the hood or at the battery).

Can someone please point me in the right direction, or anyone know what it could be? I'm starting to think a module is fried, but have no idea where to go from here...