My first personal question..

[Enroutte]

Originally Posted by Robin Hood

He does?

Like you're in a dark room watching television and then he comes up behind you screaming:WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

OMG EXACTLY LIKE THAT! How did you know? Does this also happen to you?

[Robin_NL]

Originally Posted by Enroutte

OMG EXACTLY LIKE THAT! How did you know? Does this also happen to you?

Yes but with me he screams:

URBI ET ORBI

[BellasBmw]

Originally Posted by Nikki

I don't know...I guess I'm just bored and miss being excited about being in love. My past three relationships have turned out this way. I'm not trying to find anyone else, but I slowly found myself having feelings for someone else, and when I told him, he said he didn't feel the same way. You can't control your feelings, but you can control your actions. Maybe I shouldn't have even said anything, but I'm not one that can easily hide what I am feeling.

I am the same way.. I have been in 2 long relationships pretty much back to back. I go through phases where i question what i want, and if i really want to be committed. I always tell myself "im young, not married, i should be dating and meeting as many new ppl as possible". Im very much like you in the sense that i have to express whatever it is im feeling. Im not one of those girls to sit back and say "no im fine". I will let you know whats up, good or bad. Dont ever look back and regret telling someone how you feel, its better to regret doing it, then to regret never saying anything. Are you in a rut? Things are probably routine and its not exciting anymore, right? If your anything like me, this little crush you have is probably a way to spice things up in your own life. Whenever i develop feelings for someone else when im in a relationship, i tend to act very distant towards my bf. Sometimes the feelings disappear when i realise that if he were doing the same to me, i would be so hurt. Other times the feelings grow more and more, and thats the time you have to think about what YOU want. Your young too, and this was always the hardest thing people told me, but they always say dont worry about how he is gonna feel, worry about yourself.. lifes too short to be with someone who doesnt do it for you.

As for the rejection issue, i dont know enough on the situation btwn u and the other guy. If he is a really good friend of yours, he could honestly not want to taint the friendship. Or he could be a great guy, knowing that you have a bf, and doesnt want to be that "guy who broke your relationship up". In the past i used my x as a backup, i didnt break it off incase the other person didnt have the same feelings, and in the end, it was so f*cked up. Dont do it to him, cause you have to put yourself in his shoes.. you def wouldnt want to be taken along for the ride. Anyway, hope i sort of helped with this novel i wrote. Good luck!

btw- i dye my hair black too

[Explorer3253]

Originally Posted by Nikki

Well we talk about everything, and he knows exactly what is going on. We just don't know what to do to make me feel like he's not my brother.

Wow....Sad to say but I think thats the last thing I heard from my ex before we completly stopped talking. But I guess a piece of it was b/c she decided to betray me with that other guy...But I heard the "I don't know where the spark went..now its weird..blah blah blah"

[Explorer3253]

Is it me or is reading the post getting be depressed..Anyone got some zoloft?? I want to be that happy cloud again!

[txusa03]

Originally Posted by BellasBmw

As for the rejection issue, i dont know enough on the situation btwn u and the other guy. If he is a really good friend of yours, he could honestly not want to taint the friendship. Or he could be a great guy, knowing that you have a bf, and doesnt want to be that "guy who broke your relationship up". In the past i used my x as a backup, i didnt break it off incase the other person didnt have the same feelings, and in the end, it was so f*cked up.

Or maybe he rejected her because he is gay (then you really cannot blame the gay guy).

[rag21]

its like i dropped into the view

[BMW F22]

Originally Posted by BellasBmw

I will let you know whats up, good or bad. Dont ever look back and regret telling someone how you feel, its better to regret doing it, then to regret never saying anything. Your young too, and this was always the hardest thing people told me, but they always say dont worry about how he is gonna feel, worry about yourself.. lifes too short to be with someone who doesnt do it for you.

As for the rejection issue, i dont know enough on the situation btwn u and the other guy. If he is a really good friend of yours, he could honestly not want to taint the friendship. Or he could be a great guy, knowing that you have a bf, and doesnt want to be that "guy who broke your relationship up".

She's right on. The WORST thing is life is regret NOT saying it than saying it. Cus then you spend the rest of your life wondering "what if...". Might as well take a chance and find out. As for the other guy, he should just stay out if he knows you're in a relationship. That's the right thing to do. I have a friend whose gf just left him for another guy after a 5 year relationship. IT was fucked up. The guy shouldnt have been involved. And if your bf doesnt do as much for you as you do for him, dump him. Someone told me "the person you want is the one that wants you".

Now about you: Im not trying to be mean or anything but if you did something with your friend (not bf), why would he want to be with you. Take my friend's example: why would the other guy want to be with her since she could easily leave him for another guy after another 5 years of dating. Im not saying that you are like this because I dont personally know you. Personally I wouldnt go for someone who hits on others when she already has a bf.

I dont know if this is relevant to the issue at hand here. Im too lazy to read the whole thread. This is just my opinion lol. Dont hate me.

[the*saint*]

Hi Nikki, sorry to hear about your situation. I bet you feel like a zombie or something, going through the motions while your mind strays elsewhere, anywhere but your physical location.

This reminds me of a past situation I was in. A summer intern at my work (who lived in a condo with her bf) developed feelings for me. I have a gf so this was all flattering but I truly felt for her. Her bf provided for her, showered her with gifts, etc. but I guess they lacked that certain mutual spark. She seemed prepared to start anew but was scared of the consequences like moving out, divvying up pets, belongings, etc. She felt very much a part of his family so was reluctant to severe ties. I don't fault her. Breaking up is difficult.

Now, this was a beautiful, highly educated woman but she couldn't sort out her feelings. I don't blame her for being open but I felt bad that she opened up to me rather than her bf. Maybe she was reaching out to test the proverbial waters before literally letting go, i don't know. I tried to help her and console her but was not prepared to leave my gf for her. Her bf interpreted the situation as me trying to steal his gf, but I don't blame him for misunderstanding. When heart strings are involved, very few can think clearly anyway.

I think everyone here is a part of this message board because we're coping with our "wants" for the e90. Sacrificing for what one wants is normal. In fact, I think life is all about the quest to satisfy wants... be it monetary, social, primordial, etc. however; in doing so it boils down to making decisions and living with them. I bet most people here likely moved on from an otherwise decent automobile... but wanted more that the e90 can deliver.

Sorry for the long post. Just felt compelled to add my 2 cents.

Determine the value from your relationship using all your senses. Only then can you feel comfortable making the leap from something great to something greater. (If greater is what you want, of course)

[Nikki]

Thanks for the advice everyone. It's so hard, we keep breaking up and then getting back together because we don't know what to do. I don't want to lose what we have, but I don't want to be stuck in a relationship where I don't feel romantic. The hardest thing is that he is competely infatuated with me and doesn't feel the way I do at all. We're trying to work it out, and I'm trying not to think about feelings I have for his friend, but it's hard. I guess I'm going to just keep trying until it gets better, or until both of us realize it isn't going to work.

[MCS]

That's a bummer for your boyfriend.

I would not want a girl that's dating me for the pity factor, because that only goes so far.

My advice is to have a long talk with your boyfriend and see where the relationship is going. If it's not going anywhere, or slim chance of going anywhere. Break up.

As for the other guy, You'd be suprised how dense guys are. Youpretty much have to spell it out to us in order for us to realize, "wow, you know something, maybe she likes me" and work up enough nerve to ask her out on a serious date. Drunken hook ups are another story.

[BellasBmw]

Originally Posted by Nikki

Thanks for the advice everyone. It's so hard, we keep breaking up and then getting back together because we don't know what to do. I don't want to lose what we have, but I don't want to be stuck in a relationship where I don't feel romantic. The hardest thing is that he is competely infatuated with me and doesn't feel the way I do at all. We're trying to work it out, and I'm trying not to think about feelings I have for his friend, but it's hard. I guess I'm going to just keep trying until it gets better, or until both of us realize it isn't going to work.

So its HIS friend? Eeek thats not good, cause it will ruin their friendship as well. .My x and i were together for almost 2 yrs. He was close with my dad, did jobs together, my neice knew him as "uncle sandy"..etc, i thougth if we were to break up, it would be too awkward and all those relationships that had been developed would demolish. So i hung around, putting my feelings aside, knowing that atleast there wasnt any tension.

My x bf friends were always around us, they were at his house almost everytime i was there. Naturally i became friends with them also. We would chat online or on the phone occasionally. Well i didnt realize they had other intentions than being friends. I couldnt believe they would try and screw their friend over like that. My x found out and everyone was out to save their own asses. So his friends lied and said i was the one who was coming onto them, and we'd talk till 2am. I told my bf not to believe it, but the shit already hit the fan, and he couldnt trust me anymore. So, we tried for months to hide the fact that he was always suspicious of me, (and this was the only bf i never cheated on), but in the end.. it got so bad that he was calling/threatening my male friends, checking my cell bill, texting me and accusing me of cheating.. So, that was it. Done.

I think you need to picture your life 5 yrs from now.. I know inside my heart there are things i still need to finish/experience..being with him was eventually gonna hold me back even if i tried telling myself over and over that it wouldnt. Now i look back, and yes im sad when i think of the good, but im glad im single now. There's always a reason for every situation.

[BMW F22]

Originally Posted by MCS

Youpretty much have to spell it out to us in order for us to realize, "wow, you know something, maybe she likes me" and work up enough nerve to ask her out on a serious date.

right on

[Enroutte]

Originally Posted by BellasBmw

I think you need to picture your life 5 yrs from now.. I know inside my heart there are things i still need to finish/experience..being with him was eventually gonna hold me back even if i tried telling myself over and over that it wouldnt. Now i look back, and yes im sad when i think of the good, but im glad im single now. There's always a reason for every situation.

EXACTLY!!! Seriously take bella's advice. I think she knows what she's talking about.

When I was with my ex.. i held on because i was hoping things would work out and things would be okay but when i thought about my future.. i really couldnt see myself in the end ending up with this guy and i felt like he was holding me back frmo the things i felt like i wanted to do. and it was so hard to let go at first, but now im so glad i did it.

i think if youre having this many doubts thenn maybe it really ownt work out. you guys acn still be friends after u break up

[Nikki]

i ask about being friends, and he says that he wouldn't ever be able to be friends with me because he wouldn't be able to see with with another man.

[txusa03]

Guys, did you see that, bella is single now and back on the playing fields...I swear i though you were dating some guy.

I wonder if nikki bf is on the e90 post reading any of this. That could be good and bad new. Good news if he is open minded and see that we are only trying to help. Bad news if he thinks nikki should not talk about their relationship on the net.

[Enroutte]

Originally Posted by Nikki

i ask about being friends, and he says that he wouldn't ever be able to be friends with me because he wouldn't be able to see with with another man.

that's the exacttt words my ex said.

seroiusly.. he'll get over it in time. all things heal, in time

[Nikki]

he already dug up all of my IM conversations with people so he knows exactly what's going on. we aren't hiding anything from each other right now.

[poldim]

Originally Posted by MCS

That's a bummer for your boyfriend.

I would not want a girl that's dating me for the pity factor, because that only goes so far.

My advice is to have a long talk with your boyfriend and see where the relationship is going. If it's not going anywhere, or slim chance of going anywhere. Break up.

As for the other guy, You'd be suprised how dense guys are. Youpretty much have to spell it out to us in order for us to realize, "wow, you know something, maybe she likes me" and work up enough nerve to ask her out on a serious date. Drunken hook ups are another story.

Me neither. I'd rather fight for it than be given it as pity.


On a side note, can we see pics of all the black dye-ing?

[Enroutte]

Originally Posted by poldim

On a side note, can we see pics of all the black dye-ing?

yeahh can we? ive neverrrr seen a photo of nikki

[findtom]

Originally Posted by Enroutte

that's the exacttt words my ex said.

seroiusly.. he'll get over it in time. all things heal, in time

Yikes, the girls on this board are heatbreakers!

I'm kidding of course... sort of.

[ward]

Originally Posted by Nikki

he already dug up all of my IM conversations with people so he knows exactly what's going on. we aren't hiding anything from each other right now.

now that's posessive and sneaky


Run Nikki Run!!!!