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      01-27-2020, 07:25 AM   #3059
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Originally Posted by Rmtt View Post
So just logging in for the first time in a few days.

Had to rush my dad to the ER on Friday after work. I have been so busy that I hadn't been by to see him in about 7 days. He had been to the kidney doctor early this week, so I wanted to see what the results were. I'm so infuriated that he wasn't admitted then and there when he seen the Nephrologist.

He had put on almost 31 lbs of fluid, was broken out in a rash all over from his kidneys not working, and could hardly move. It was like I was carrying a dead weight to the car. He is swollen everywhere.

His blood work shows that he is in Stage 4 Kidney Disease. He is a diabetic, and although I have worked with him on diet for years...I can't be there every time he picks his food. Plus his generation doesn't know what reading the food labels mean. Last year I had him doing really good, but he fell off of the wagon.

First day they tried to catheter him twice and couldn't because of the edema and swelling. Then the Urologist tried about 4 hours later and couldn't. I could hear him moaning when they were in there and almost lost it.

Yesterday he had to get an Echo performed to make sure his heart was strong enough so that they could put him in surgery to try the catheter and a probe to look around as his bladder was at a critical point. Add a UTI on top of it, it was a bad situation. I left late last night when they brought him back as he was knocked out.

My brother works nights and I work days managing a plant. So he's with him this morning and then I will be with him in the afternoons.

He's only 67. My mom is disabled, so no help there. He has to do everything himself and let it get this bad because he is too proud to ask for help. I'm trying to be positive, but also trying to convey to him how serious this is.

The last couple of days have been really rough. I'm trying to keep a strong appearance up, but it's killing me inside. My daughter is a nurse in the Cardiac ICU, so she is helping keep me updated when I'm not there.

And I am at a point in my career where it is very demanding. So I feel like I am being hit from every angle.

This is the hardest thing I have faced since my son died.

I apologize if this brings up any bad memories for anyone on here. Hated to open the day on such a depressing note, but I had to vent somewhere for a few moments.
So sorry to hear brother. I'm not great with words when it comes to matters like this. Hoping for whatever favorable outcome is possible.
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      01-27-2020, 07:42 AM   #3060
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rmtt View Post
So just logging in for the first time in a few days.

Had to rush my dad to the ER on Friday after work. I have been so busy that I hadn't been by to see him in about 7 days. He had been to the kidney doctor early this week, so I wanted to see what the results were. I'm so infuriated that he wasn't admitted then and there when he seen the Nephrologist.

He had put on almost 31 lbs of fluid, was broken out in a rash all over from his kidneys not working, and could hardly move. It was like I was carrying a dead weight to the car. He is swollen everywhere.

His blood work shows that he is in Stage 4 Kidney Disease. He is a diabetic, and although I have worked with him on diet for years...I can't be there every time he picks his food. Plus his generation doesn't know what reading the food labels mean. Last year I had him doing really good, but he fell off of the wagon.

First day they tried to catheter him twice and couldn't because of the edema and swelling. Then the Urologist tried about 4 hours later and couldn't. I could hear him moaning when they were in there and almost lost it.

Yesterday he had to get an Echo performed to make sure his heart was strong enough so that they could put him in surgery to try the catheter and a probe to look around as his bladder was at a critical point. Add a UTI on top of it, it was a bad situation. I left late last night when they brought him back as he was knocked out.

My brother works nights and I work days managing a plant. So he's with him this morning and then I will be with him in the afternoons.

He's only 67. My mom is disabled, so no help there. He has to do everything himself and let it get this bad because he is too proud to ask for help. I'm trying to be positive, but also trying to convey to him how serious this is.

The last couple of days have been really rough. I'm trying to keep a strong appearance up, but it's killing me inside. My daughter is a nurse in the Cardiac ICU, so she is helping keep me updated when I'm not there.

And I am at a point in my career where it is very demanding. So I feel like I am being hit from every angle.

This is the hardest thing I have faced since my son died.

I apologize if this brings up any bad memories for anyone on here. Hated to open the day on such a depressing note, but I had to vent somewhere for a few moments.
Very sorry to hear that Rmtt - I think as sons we often don't consider that much could happen to our dad, we have always seen them as strong because that's generally who they were when we were growing up. And when something does happen, it really shakes you. I know it did me when I saw my dad in the hospital after he had a heart attack and was all hooked up to machines and wires. Thankfully, everything was ok after a few stents and that and he's still around, but at the same time, I now worry more about him, years after the fact.

As proud as your dad is, I really believe he is extremely grateful inside (whether he's expressed it or not) to have you and your brother around as support now because he knows he needs it. You don't have to keep a strong appearance, you just have to be there and be 100% in his corner and fight as his advocate to get the medical treatment he needs. But it is ok to show some emotion to your wife and daughter, frankly, they'd understand and probably love you even more for it. Strong appearance or not, just be there for your dad - that's the most important thing.

I know as a Christian, I'd be praying - if you believe in God, pray. Its a source of strength to me, that one can't understand if they don't believe there's a God who has created everything and is in control of everything, even if we don't get what we want, or what we think is just / right....there is a peace that I still feel in the midst of it. I've prayed for both you and your dad, though I do not know either of you, God does.
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      01-27-2020, 08:09 AM   #3061
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Thanks for the comments everybody.

My dad is actually a Minister. We had so many people from his church show up yesterday, it was overwhelming. He has been in the Ministry since I was about 10 yo.

I will be the first to admit that I'm not the man I should be in that aspect. I had a very hard struggle with that when my son died...kind of jaded me.

But I'm trying to do better.
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      01-27-2020, 08:27 AM   #3062
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rmtt View Post
Thanks for the comments everybody.

My dad is actually a Minister. We had so many people from his church show up yesterday, it was overwhelming. He has been in the Ministry since I was about 10 yo.

I will be the first to admit that I'm not the man I should be in that aspect. I had a very hard struggle with that when my son died...kind of jaded me.

But I'm trying to do better.
I'm really glad there was an outpouring of support from members of the church...I'll be honest, sometimes that doesn't happen and it is disappointing...especially when you think "man, these people call themselves Christians". So I'm glad that there was a lot of support!

I cannot relate to losing a son, but my heart goes out to you, that would be tough beyond what I can understand right now and I understand why you would struggle.

While sounding blunt, I don't mean it as such, but not sure how else to convey it, but in my experience, God wants us...all of us and 100% of us...that we put him first and live to bring glory to him. Sometimes, the way he gets our attention is gently...through a whisper to our hearts. And sometimes he uses a 2x4....depends on our personality I think. I've been a recipient of the 2x4 approach a few times because I'm a wee bit stubborn, and frankly, this may be a 2x4 moment for you right now, where he is trying to get your attention.

Talk to your dad about your struggle, but most of all, talk to God. I'm sure you've already voiced the struggle you are having to God, do it again. Jesus knows struggling, he was tempted, he was tried on false charges, was separated from God at the cross, he died for our sins not his own - he knows agony really well. But know that God loves you as well, more than you can imagine. But he wants all of you, not just a part of you. That's something that I'm struggling with right now, putting him first.
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      01-27-2020, 08:40 AM   #3063
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Sorry yo hear sir. Hope your father recovers shortly.
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      01-27-2020, 08:53 AM   #3064
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Originally Posted by Rmtt View Post
Thanks for the comments everybody.

My dad is actually a Minister. We had so many people from his church show up yesterday, it was overwhelming. He has been in the Ministry since I was about 10 yo.

I will be the first to admit that I'm not the man I should be in that aspect. I had a very hard struggle with that when my son died...kind of jaded me.

But I'm trying to do better.
Sorry to hear about your son, and the struggles with your dad. My mom went through a similar thing with her mom. My mom is an only child, so she didn't have any siblings to help care for my grandma, and my grandfather on that side passed away before I was even born. My grandma was a saint of a lady, but very stubborn and strong minded (I think many who fought in WWII were/are like this). In her 80s she would have falls, and we would find her on the ground. My mom would try to help her and she would say "I'm fine, I'm fine" even though she would be unable to get up. We got her one of those life alert things, but she would keep it in the drawer, or lay there for hours instead of using it. My mom and her didn't have the best relationship towards the end, because my mom would get very frustrated with her and just give up. She passed away at 89 years old, a few weeks before she would've turned 90.

The best thing you can do is just be there for him, and do what he wants to do, even if you know it isn't the best for him. They have a lot of pride, and will do what they want anyway, it is easier just to make them happy. I think some days my mom regrets some of the fights she had with my grandma, but she had dementia, so a lot of it was unavoidable. Bottom line is just do the best you can, it's a tough thing to go through, but you can only do what you are capable of, everyone involved including him knows that. There's always that thought of "I could've done ___ " but you can only do so much while maintaining your own sanity.
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      01-27-2020, 09:17 AM   #3065
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Thats sad news Rmtt, hang in bro, I'll cross fingers that at the end all will work well for you
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      01-27-2020, 10:47 AM   #3066
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rmtt View Post
So just logging in for the first time in a few days.

Had to rush my dad to the ER on Friday after work. I have been so busy that I hadn't been by to see him in about 7 days. He had been to the kidney doctor early this week, so I wanted to see what the results were. I'm so infuriated that he wasn't admitted then and there when he seen the Nephrologist.

He had put on almost 31 lbs of fluid, was broken out in a rash all over from his kidneys not working, and could hardly move. It was like I was carrying a dead weight to the car. He is swollen everywhere.

His blood work shows that he is in Stage 4 Kidney Disease. He is a diabetic, and although I have worked with him on diet for years...I can't be there every time he picks his food. Plus his generation doesn't know what reading the food labels mean. Last year I had him doing really good, but he fell off of the wagon.

First day they tried to catheter him twice and couldn't because of the edema and swelling. Then the Urologist tried about 4 hours later and couldn't. I could hear him moaning when they were in there and almost lost it.

Yesterday he had to get an Echo performed to make sure his heart was strong enough so that they could put him in surgery to try the catheter and a probe to look around as his bladder was at a critical point. Add a UTI on top of it, it was a bad situation. I left late last night when they brought him back as he was knocked out.

My brother works nights and I work days managing a plant. So he's with him this morning and then I will be with him in the afternoons.

He's only 67. My mom is disabled, so no help there. He has to do everything himself and let it get this bad because he is too proud to ask for help. I'm trying to be positive, but also trying to convey to him how serious this is.

The last couple of days have been really rough. I'm trying to keep a strong appearance up, but it's killing me inside. My daughter is a nurse in the Cardiac ICU, so she is helping keep me updated when I'm not there.

And I am at a point in my career where it is very demanding. So I feel like I am being hit from every angle.

This is the hardest thing I have faced since my son died.

I apologize if this brings up any bad memories for anyone on here. Hated to open the day on such a depressing note, but I had to vent somewhere for a few moments.
hope everything works out
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      01-27-2020, 11:34 AM   #3067
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      01-27-2020, 11:54 AM   #3068
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rmtt View Post
So just logging in for the first time in a few days.

Had to rush my dad to the ER on Friday after work. I have been so busy that I hadn't been by to see him in about 7 days. He had been to the kidney doctor early this week, so I wanted to see what the results were. I'm so infuriated that he wasn't admitted then and there when he seen the Nephrologist.

He had put on almost 31 lbs of fluid, was broken out in a rash all over from his kidneys not working, and could hardly move. It was like I was carrying a dead weight to the car. He is swollen everywhere.

His blood work shows that he is in Stage 4 Kidney Disease. He is a diabetic, and although I have worked with him on diet for years...I can't be there every time he picks his food. Plus his generation doesn't know what reading the food labels mean. Last year I had him doing really good, but he fell off of the wagon.

First day they tried to catheter him twice and couldn't because of the edema and swelling. Then the Urologist tried about 4 hours later and couldn't. I could hear him moaning when they were in there and almost lost it.

Yesterday he had to get an Echo performed to make sure his heart was strong enough so that they could put him in surgery to try the catheter and a probe to look around as his bladder was at a critical point. Add a UTI on top of it, it was a bad situation. I left late last night when they brought him back as he was knocked out.

My brother works nights and I work days managing a plant. So he's with him this morning and then I will be with him in the afternoons.

He's only 67. My mom is disabled, so no help there. He has to do everything himself and let it get this bad because he is too proud to ask for help. I'm trying to be positive, but also trying to convey to him how serious this is.

The last couple of days have been really rough. I'm trying to keep a strong appearance up, but it's killing me inside. My daughter is a nurse in the Cardiac ICU, so she is helping keep me updated when I'm not there.

And I am at a point in my career where it is very demanding. So I feel like I am being hit from every angle.

This is the hardest thing I have faced since my son died.

I apologize if this brings up any bad memories for anyone on here. Hated to open the day on such a depressing note, but I had to vent somewhere for a few moments.
Hey, Rmtt sorry to hear all this is hitting you all at once - or at all, really. I hope you're finding strength and peace enough to get through it all intact. You've got some supporting thoughts and wishes here, which is really nice to see. Keep us posted as you're able. Hoping for a good outcome...
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      01-27-2020, 12:33 PM   #3069
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Rmtt Superman is a pain in the ass when he gets sick!

I spoke to my dad yesterday, and he openly admits he is losing his mind. He still hasn't recovered from the shingles that was diagnosed on 12/23. Confession:I'm as much worried about his health as the extra burden that will be dumped on me to run his office if he can't get back on his feet. My son helps him now PT, but school starts today and he will have even less hours to run the office. I'm really afraid if he doesn't have the office as a reason to get up in the morning, he won't get up at all.
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      01-27-2020, 01:01 PM   #3070
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rmtt View Post
So just logging in for the first time in a few days.

Had to rush my dad to the ER on Friday after work. I have been so busy that I hadn't been by to see him in about 7 days. He had been to the kidney doctor early this week, so I wanted to see what the results were. I'm so infuriated that he wasn't admitted then and there when he seen the Nephrologist.

He had put on almost 31 lbs of fluid, was broken out in a rash all over from his kidneys not working, and could hardly move. It was like I was carrying a dead weight to the car. He is swollen everywhere.

His blood work shows that he is in Stage 4 Kidney Disease. He is a diabetic, and although I have worked with him on diet for years...I can't be there every time he picks his food. Plus his generation doesn't know what reading the food labels mean. Last year I had him doing really good, but he fell off of the wagon.

First day they tried to catheter him twice and couldn't because of the edema and swelling. Then the Urologist tried about 4 hours later and couldn't. I could hear him moaning when they were in there and almost lost it.

Yesterday he had to get an Echo performed to make sure his heart was strong enough so that they could put him in surgery to try the catheter and a probe to look around as his bladder was at a critical point. Add a UTI on top of it, it was a bad situation. I left late last night when they brought him back as he was knocked out.

My brother works nights and I work days managing a plant. So he's with him this morning and then I will be with him in the afternoons.

He's only 67. My mom is disabled, so no help there. He has to do everything himself and let it get this bad because he is too proud to ask for help. I'm trying to be positive, but also trying to convey to him how serious this is.

The last couple of days have been really rough. I'm trying to keep a strong appearance up, but it's killing me inside. My daughter is a nurse in the Cardiac ICU, so she is helping keep me updated when I'm not there.

And I am at a point in my career where it is very demanding. So I feel like I am being hit from every angle.

This is the hardest thing I have faced since my son died.

I apologize if this brings up any bad memories for anyone on here. Hated to open the day on such a depressing note, but I had to vent somewhere for a few moments.
I am so sorry to hear this. Went through something similar on the cardiac side with my dad about 3 months ago. I'm glad your sister is an ICU nurse...it helps to have inside information.

If you have any questions that you feel aren't answered, pm me. My sister is a nephrologist and I can backchannel them to her.

He and your family will be in my prayers.
Best regards-MK
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      01-27-2020, 06:27 PM   #3071
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[QUOTE=CTinline-six;25732642]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rmtt View Post
Thanks for the comments everybody.

My dad is actually a Minister. We had so many people from his church show up yesterday, it was overwhelming. He has been in the Ministry since I was about 10 yo.

I will be the first to admit that I'm not the man I should be in that aspect. I had a very hard struggle with that when my son died...kind of jaded me.

But I'm trying to do better.
Like you, I lost a son. He was hit by a drunk driver several years ago and lost his life. He was 23. I lost both parents within a few months a little over a year ago ( they divorced many many years ago). Mom fought heart issues, and diabetes for a long time, and in her final time, kidney failure. Dad lost his 4th bout with melanoma. There were times when I wondered how much more life could throw at me, lots of turds in the punchbowl. Hang in there and keep the faith. All of our prayers are with you.
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      01-28-2020, 12:39 PM   #3072
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This thread has gotten a little heavy recently. My sympathies for all of you who are going through some shit
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      01-28-2020, 12:41 PM   #3073
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This thread has gotten a little heavy recently. My sympathies for all of you who are going through some shit
there must be something you've done recently
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      01-28-2020, 12:44 PM   #3074
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I’m glad you asked!

Steering briefly towards a more lighthearted confession, i confess that i have been cheating....on my service advisor with another dealership.

It all started when a newly opened dealership sent me a coupon book with some really crazy introductory offers to get me to try their service. Stuff like free annual service/oil changes, big discounts on tires/alignment, etc. So i used their service department for pretty much a whole year until i used up all the coupons.

So my original dealership started sending me jilted-lover emails, wondering if it was something they did or said that made me not go back. I returned to them this year, which made them happy, but now the needy emails are starting from the second dealership.

This is stressful...i don’t know how you guys with wives and mistresses manage it.
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      01-28-2020, 12:51 PM   #3075
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good stuff, keep up the infidelity
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      01-28-2020, 03:41 PM   #3076
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rmtt View Post
So just logging in for the first time in a few days.

Had to rush my dad to the ER on Friday after work. I have been so busy that I hadn't been by to see him in about 7 days. He had been to the kidney doctor early this week, so I wanted to see what the results were. I'm so infuriated that he wasn't admitted then and there when he seen the Nephrologist.

He had put on almost 31 lbs of fluid, was broken out in a rash all over from his kidneys not working, and could hardly move. It was like I was carrying a dead weight to the car. He is swollen everywhere.

His blood work shows that he is in Stage 4 Kidney Disease. He is a diabetic, and although I have worked with him on diet for years...I can't be there every time he picks his food. Plus his generation doesn't know what reading the food labels mean. Last year I had him doing really good, but he fell off of the wagon.

First day they tried to catheter him twice and couldn't because of the edema and swelling. Then the Urologist tried about 4 hours later and couldn't. I could hear him moaning when they were in there and almost lost it.

Yesterday he had to get an Echo performed to make sure his heart was strong enough so that they could put him in surgery to try the catheter and a probe to look around as his bladder was at a critical point. Add a UTI on top of it, it was a bad situation. I left late last night when they brought him back as he was knocked out.

My brother works nights and I work days managing a plant. So he's with him this morning and then I will be with him in the afternoons.

He's only 67. My mom is disabled, so no help there. He has to do everything himself and let it get this bad because he is too proud to ask for help. I'm trying to be positive, but also trying to convey to him how serious this is.

The last couple of days have been really rough. I'm trying to keep a strong appearance up, but it's killing me inside. My daughter is a nurse in the Cardiac ICU, so she is helping keep me updated when I'm not there.

And I am at a point in my career where it is very demanding. So I feel like I am being hit from every angle.

This is the hardest thing I have faced since my son died.

I apologize if this brings up any bad memories for anyone on here. Hated to open the day on such a depressing note, but I had to vent somewhere for a few moments.
Sorry to hear that bro I'm DM'ing you my number, I have a relatively easy schedule nowadays. If you ever want someone to listen give me a call
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      01-29-2020, 06:12 AM   #3077
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Sorry to hear that bro I'm DM'ing you my number, I have a relatively easy schedule nowadays. If you ever want someone to listen give me a call
Thanks my friend. Yesterday we were informed out that his Ejection Fraction of his heart is only 20%. Plus his kidneys still aren't working.

Today he is being put on dialysis to try and clean his blood, but also because he needs two full days of this to prepare his kidneys from any damage they may receive from a scheduled Heart Cath that will be done on Friday.

Best Case - They find an occlusion and can "stent" it, or something else that can be addressed during the Cath which may indirectly also help his kidney function at least after a ton of rehab.

Worst Case - The Cath shows them issues that can only be resolved by open heart. He's been through this once years ago and has said if it comes to that..he is not doing anything and going to suffer his fate. He had 4X bypass at the age of 49.

As I have mentioned, my daughter is a nurse in the Critical Cardiac Care unit. So sometime near the end of this week she will have her Grandfather on her floor.

I urge all of you guys if you have any kind of heart disease or Diabetes, see your doctor, get with a nutritionist, and fight this with all that you can. You can have these issues and if you approach it correctly, you can have many years of good quality life. Don't ignore the warning signs. Get ahead of it. Not just for yourself, but for your loved ones as they have to go through this with you when things go bad.

I am probably known as being a fitness fanatic in the Health Thread, but I am that way because I know the genetic disposition that I have inherited from my family. I had a long talk with my younger brother yesterday because he is heading down that path.

So for all of you that I have had the pleasure of interacting with on here, I wish only the best for you. It's never too late to start being as healthy as you can possibly be. When you are young, you think you are indestructible. But it will catch up with you at some point.

I don't plan to post my problems on here any further so that the thread can get back to what it was created for. Everyone has hardships that they must face. I just appreciate you guys letting me get it off my chest.
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      01-29-2020, 06:29 AM   #3078
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Originally Posted by Rmtt View Post
Thanks my friend. Yesterday we were informed out that his Ejection Fraction of his heart is only 20%. Plus his kidneys still aren't working.

Today he is being put on dialysis to try and clean his blood, but also because he needs two full days of this to prepare his kidneys from any damage they may receive from a scheduled Heart Cath that will be done on Friday.

Best Case - They find an occlusion and can "stent" it, or something else that can be addressed during the Cath which may indirectly also help his kidney function at least after a ton of rehab.

Worst Case - The Cath shows them issues that can only be resolved by open heart. He's been through this once years ago and has said if it comes to that..he is not doing anything and going to suffer his fate. He had 4X bypass at the age of 49.

As I have mentioned, my daughter is a nurse in the Critical Cardiac Care unit. So sometime near the end of this week she will have her Grandfather on her floor.

I urge all of you guys if you have any kind of heart disease or Diabetes, see your doctor, get with a nutritionist, and fight this with all that you can. You can have these issues and if you approach it correctly, you can have many years of good quality life. Don't ignore the warning signs. Get ahead of it. Not just for yourself, but for your loved ones as they have to go through this with you when things go bad.

I am probably known as being a fitness fanatic in the Health Thread, but I am that way because I know the genetic disposition that I have inherited from my family. I had a long talk with my younger brother yesterday because he is heading down that path.

So for all of you that I have had the pleasure of interacting with on here, I wish only the best for you. It's never too late to start being as healthy as you can possibly be. When you are young, you think you are indestructible. But it will catch up with you at some point.

I don't plan to post my problems on here any further so that the thread can get back to what it was created for. Everyone has hardships that they must face. I just appreciate you guys letting me get it off my chest.
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      01-29-2020, 08:27 AM   #3079
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...
Not going to quote everything, but feel free to vent anytime, you don't have to keep it out of this thread. We all need an outlet.

Hoping it is the best case scenario and you have lots of time left with your dad!
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      01-29-2020, 10:56 AM   #3080
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