Dating - Good/Bad Experiences

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by Never_Enough

What's with all the hate on mini-golf? I have not done it in years, but not because it's only for 12 year olds. Man, you guys gotta lighten up.

I know eh? I like mini golf too. It's fun - especially if you are playing with someone who is super competitive, like my wife.

I told her I wasn't a very competitive person when we were dating. After a few years she decided I was lying through my teeth because I was the most competitive person she's ever met.

[aozer]

Originally Posted by Bayerische Motoren Werke

my closest friend said maybe it's on me for finding the crazy ones. at this point i can't blame him; especially after i read something on how crazy girls are like cocaine for people with ADHD everything clicked but yeah enjoy!

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was this after one date?

[________]

Originally Posted by Bayerische Motoren Werke

my closest friend said maybe it's on me for finding the crazy ones. at this point i can't blame him; especially after i read something on how crazy girls are like cocaine for people with ADHD everything clicked but yeah enjoy!

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Not sure you're looking for advice or dissent, since you posted this to prove your point...

But what makes you think giving people the silent treatment is alright? You went 2 full days (and maybe would go longer if she hadn't pushed for it) without replying.

Why not man up and have an open conversation about what you want?

[bimmer456]

I'm assuming a good experience resulted in a second date and marriage?

[aozer]

Originally Posted by OnerDriver

Not sure you're looking for advice or dissent, since you posted this to prove your point...

But what makes you think giving people the silent treatment is alright? You went 2 full days (and maybe would go longer if she hadn't pushed for it) without replying.

Why not man up and have an open conversation about what you want?

‘Ghosting’ is pretty common in the modern dating world. I used to try to be respectful and give some kind of closing response but after being ghosted several times myself I realized there is no point in showing any kind of decency to anyone these days.

I used to be a really nice guy but online dating turned me into a fucking asshole. A majority of women in their 20’s on these dating apps are garbage people in my experience, so they will be treated accordingly.

[Now_Rudi]

Originally Posted by Wolf 335

Problem here is that you "persuaded her for 8 months", you should have know after two weeks max.

Second problem is that you accepted going out with her after her guy bailed out.

Third problem is you planned to go "putt-putt". Who the fuck does that shit unless you're two 18 yr olds.

Hope you learned from that experience.

Yeah.....there were no problems with this situation at all. Feel free to re-read the original post. There was no love loss as I had no intent in trying to wife her. She was cute, that was it. As for pursuing her, not persuading, it was a simple text here or there in between my encounters with other ladies. It's not as if I didn't talk to anyone else for 8 months in hopes that she would give me the time of day. I think you have the entire situation completely misconstrued. There were no problems or mistakes made by myself in this entire encounter. As for mini-golf, perhaps read the entire thread. I have never had any problems with the ladies.

I'll overlook the asinine comments made because I'm in a good mood today and refuse to go on a reign of terror. The only thing I learned from this experience is that she was self absorbed. The fact that you feel that you have any insight to offer me is laughable.

[Now_Rudi]

Originally Posted by aozer

‘Ghosting’ is pretty common in the modern dating world. I used to try to be respectful and give some kind of closing response but after being ghosted several times myself I realized there is no point in showing any kind of decency to anyone these days.

I used to be a really nice guy but online dating turned me into a fucking asshole. A majority of women in their 20’s on these dating apps are garbage people in my experience, so they will be treated accordingly.

+100 Very much this!

[Now_Rudi]

Originally Posted by Kyngofpop

I'm still learning how to multi-quote on this forum so forgive me for quoting the whole post, but I usually get up around Nashville from my town here in Charlotte once a year for our annual SHO bbq so I'll most def hit ya up at the next one.

Btw tbh she sounds kind of awesome man! Just think about it, you're introducing to someone that's nvr done the things that you Love to do and she's probably enjoying these things! People like new experiences, and when it's with someone that you actually LIKE it's even better. Not saying that she's the be all end all, but for right now...she's it and it is what it is.

I'm not judging her by any means but the only thing I don't like about what you posted about her is that she's a "seat of the pants" type of person. I'm a person that lives life by its wings and flies whenever the wind hits but I can dance in ballrooms and clubs, or discuss the ins and outs of Roe V Wade if necessary, and also discuss the Concentric, Sector, and Multiple-Nuclie Models of social construct if necessary...and build a car on the side.

Ol girls gotta step it up! Be proactive when you date up or down, being passive won't DO! Not talking shit, just kind of saying...ya know?

Yeah man, hit me up. I'm midway between Knoxville and Nashville. As for the girlfriend, she's awesome; she really is. She is a bit of a country girl and my family is from upstate NY so it's a little different. I'm typically used to dating high maintenance ladies so there is some adjusting still going on. I constantly feel like I need to wine and dine her but she is just as cool with a frozen pizza and movie at home, which is cool. My only complaint is that I do most of the cooking, planning for outings, etc. If we go out to eat, I decide where, if we watch a movie what we watch is my decision etc. It frustrates me at times but I also understand that she's just happy being with me regardless of whatever we do so it's kinda admirable at the same time. This definitely reduces the amount of arguments. In 2 years times we have had 2 disagreements and both were misunderstandings. All in all, I'm a pretty happy and lucky guy.

[Never_Enough]

Originally Posted by OnerDriver

Not sure you're looking for advice or dissent, since you posted this to prove your point...

But what makes you think giving people the silent treatment is alright? You went 2 full days (and maybe would go longer if she hadn't pushed for it) without replying.

Why not man up and have an open conversation about what you want?

+1

Women do this ghosting shit too & it's super immature & says all we need to know, more than actual words could, about how shitty of a person these clowns are. Don't be that guy.

[Never_Enough]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

Yeah man, hit me up. I'm midway between Knoxville and Nashville. As for the girlfriend, she's awesome; she really is. She is a bit of a country girl and my family is from upstate NY so it's a little different. I'm typically used to dating high maintenance ladies so there is some adjusting still going on. I constantly feel like I need to wine and dine her but she is just as cool with a frozen pizza and movie at home, which is cool. My only complaint is that I do most of the cooking, planning for outings, etc. If we go out to eat, I decide where, if we watch a movie what we watch is my decision etc. It frustrates me at times but I also understand that she's just happy being with me regardless of whatever we do so it's kinda admirable at the same time. This definitely reduces the amount of arguments. In 2 years times we have had 2 disagreements and both were misunderstandings. All in all, I'm a pretty happy and lucky guy.

She's indecisive as a lot of women seem to be. I cannot stand that shit. Make some decisions!!!! I have been making all the decisions my whole adult life. I would like a break sometimes.

[Never_Enough]

Originally Posted by aozer

‘Ghosting’ is pretty common in the modern dating world. I used to try to be respectful and give some kind of closing response but after being ghosted several times myself I realized there is no point in showing any kind of decency to anyone these days.

I used to be a really nice guy but online dating turned me into a fucking asshole. A majority of women in their 20’s on these dating apps are garbage people in my experience, so they will be treated accordingly.

I like to leave them with "What was the point if you were just going to disappear?" & sometimes toss in a "God Bless!" just b/c it's funny (I'm not religious)

They never reply. Cowards.

[Turkish Pickle]

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

So did you hang out one more time or nah?

Originally Posted by aozer

was this after one date?

lol nah, this was only after 2 "dates" (taking her to a car show and going downtown chicago)

Originally Posted by OnerDriver

Not sure you're looking for advice or dissent, since you posted this to prove your point...

But what makes you think giving people the silent treatment is alright? You went 2 full days (and maybe would go longer if she hadn't pushed for it) without replying.

Why not man up and have an open conversation about what you want?

honestly? because it was what seemed logical. unfortunately it's just how stuff works nowadays with people my age (even though i dont know your age); even if she wanted there's a good chance we'd never run into each other. different majors and she's a year younger.

but to answer your question, yeah maybe it wasnt the greatest thing to do. but look at it this way - if someone was being this pushy literally after 2 days and meeting up twice what would be your response? if you were to send that text earlier chances are she'd blame you for thinking too forward and getting ahead of yourself and you'd be the one "to blame". without knowing someone as much as i'd like to this was my best option and i do not regret going this route.

Originally Posted by aozer

‘Ghosting’ is pretty common in the modern dating world. I used to try to be respectful and give some kind of closing response but after being ghosted several times myself I realized there is no point in showing any kind of decency to anyone these days.

I used to be a really nice guy but online dating turned me into a fucking asshole. A majority of women in their 20’s on these dating apps are garbage people in my experience, so they will be treated accordingly.

eh i mean its a double edged sword, it is pretty common but at least it's a bit more "decent" if you ask me than the constant cycle of "lets hang out" and flake at the last minute, if you don't hear back from them for 4-5 hours then it's onto the next one for me because you KNOW how 24/7 these people are on their phones. if they aren't even willing to respond negatively i'm not going to waste my time

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by Bayerische Motoren Werke

lol nah, this was only after 2 "dates" (taking her to a car show and going downtown chicago)

Dang... coulda got a BJ out of it.

[Turkish Pickle]

Originally Posted by Never_Enough

+1

Women do this ghosting shit too & it's super immature & says all we need to know, more than actual words could, about how shitty of a person these clowns are. Don't be that guy.

my man you're right it's literally a lack of basic human skills to not be able to communicate in a straight forward fashion and i literally just posted proof of that so i'm not going to say i'm free of all charges

but honestly i thought that was the way to do things back a few months ago, at least for that girl. i was never really interested in her so it wasn't a high stake thing so in a sense i just never got around to give enough fucks. now i know these aren't reasonable justifications but it was my thought process

[________]

Originally Posted by Bayerische Motoren Werke

my man you're right it's literally a lack of basic human skills to not be able to communicate in a straight forward fashion and i literally just posted proof of that so i'm not going to say i'm free of all charges

but honestly i thought that was the way to do things back a few months ago, at least for that girl. i was never really interested in her so it wasn't a high stake thing so in a sense i just never got around to give enough fucks. now i know these aren't reasonable justifications but it was my thought process

That's pretty mature. Congrats!

My only problem is the lack of consideration for other people. Not to flog a dead horse, but in your texts the girl seemed into you, you had a couple of dates and nobody knows what you conversed etc. She showed insecurity as we all have, she exposed that.

I'm always for calling people up and talking about what happened and what I want and feel.
I always do that regardless. If they're going to make fun of me, or think I'm ahead of myself etc, too bad, it wasn't meant to be. We all have insecurities but working on our own self-esteem without ruining others is the name of the game.

Again, it looks like you see how that could be bad for her and for you if the situation was inverted, and know exactly what you want! Keep going man, nobody is perfect. Not trying to talk down on you as well.

[Now_Rudi]

Originally Posted by Never_Enough

She's indecisive as a lot of women seem to be. I cannot stand that shit. Make some decisions!!!! I have been making all the decisions my whole adult life. I would like a break sometimes.

Agreed. I can be a bit abrasive at times. One night we were deciding were to eat and I finally asked her, "What would you do if you wanted to eat and I wasn't here?" She said McDonalds.

I now make most of the decisions concerning food, which usually means I'm grilling something.

.......did I mention she has an amazing body, she's submissive and the sex is amazing?

[Hawkeye]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

Agreed. I can be a bit abrasive at times. One night we were deciding were to eat and I finally asked her, "What would you do if you wanted to eat and I wasn't here?" She said McDonalds.

I now make most of the decisions concerning food, which usually means I'm grilling something.

.......did I mention she has an amazing body, she's submissive and the sex is amazing?

You had me at "usually grilling something".

I didn't really have any ghosting or any issues when I was dating a few years back. I figure I will show some decency and if they don't they are not the one for me. Found myself a great wife in the process.

[Never_Enough]

Originally Posted by Hawkeye

You had me at "usually grilling something".

I didn't really have any ghosting or any issues when I was dating a few years back. I figure I will show some decency and if they don't they are not the one for me. Found myself a great wife in the process.

This shit didn't seem to be around nearly as much as it is now. I was in a relationship in 2014. With a break between that one & another in 2013. The game was as it always was. After that ended in 2014, the game changed suddenly for some reason & everyone is now an egotistical prick. Also, too many fat chicks.

[Never_Enough]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

Agreed. I can be a bit abrasive at times. One night we were deciding were to eat and I finally asked her, "What would you do if you wanted to eat and I wasn't here?" She said McDonalds.

I now make most of the decisions concerning food, which usually means I'm grilling something.

.......did I mention she has an amazing body, she's submissive and the sex is amazing?

Sounds like a one sided deal.

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by Never_Enough

Sounds like a one sided deal.

Well, I guess he does provide the meat....


But yeah, otherwise, sounds pretty one sided!
(lest you actually start liking me "Judy")

[Now_Rudi]

Originally Posted by Never_Enough

This shit didn't seem to be around nearly as much as it is now. I was in a relationship in 2014. With a break between that one & another in 2013. The game was as it always was. After that ended in 2014, the game changed suddenly for some reason & everyone is now an egotistical prick. Also, too many fat chicks.

Yes!!!! I agree 1000% Somehow someway only heavier chicks are the ones that are outgoing and eager. I noticed the same thing. Basic rule of life I suppose, whatever you want is unavailable and what you don't want is plentiful.

Originally Posted by Never_Enough

Sounds like a one sided deal.

Meh, not really. She goes out of her way to do special stuff for me when I need. She did spend all day in the ER with me on Thanksgiving. Also took the day off to drive my wheels to the mechanic when I swapped wheels a few months ago.

I do miss having more of a playful/fun connection with someone. It does seem like I am the one who is in control all the time.

Originally Posted by Joekerr

Well, I guess he does provide the meat....


But yeah, otherwise, sounds pretty one sided!
(lest you actually start liking me "Judy")

Damn, this thread has somehow culminated in reevaluating my relationship.

Not really any point in me changing anything at the moment. I plan on selling my house and relocating in a couple of years. She knows this. No point in starting over in an area I don't plan to stay in.

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

Meh, not really. She goes out of her way to do special stuff for me when I need. She did spend all day in the ER with me on Thanksgiving. Also took the day off to drive my wheels to the mechanic when I swapped wheels a few months ago.

I do miss having more of a playful/fun connection with someone. It does seem like I am the one who is in control all the time..

See, I think Never_Enough was really going for the point that the relationship was one-sided because "she has an amazing body, she's submissive and the sex is amazing" and then there is you....

Least that's what I interpreted immediately.

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

Damn, this thread has somehow culminated in reevaluating my relationship.

Not really any point in me changing anything at the moment. I plan on selling my house and relocating in a couple of years. She knows this. No point in starting over in an area I don't plan to stay in.

Well, that's because we are all therapists here. Except for UncleWede - when it comes to him, you have to split therapist into two words, the space comes directly after the third letter.