Why do men get married nowadays?

[ragingpanda]

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/...213503201.html

Just seems like the biggest mistake this man has ever made.



Want to know the secret on how to never get divorced? Never get married.

[infinitekidM2C]

Originally Posted by ragingpanda

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/...213503201.html

Just seems like the biggest mistake this man has ever made.



Want to know the secret on how to never get divorced? Never get married.

Always marry up. That's the secret sauce

[RickFLM4]

They were married 24 years. He’s worth somewhere close to a billion. Honestly, not that bad of a settlement.

[ragingpanda]

Originally Posted by RickFLM4

They were married 24 years. He’s worth somewhere close to a billion. Honestly, not that bad of a settlement.

There is absolutely no pussy out there that is worth 300k a month.

[rwheels]

Originally Posted by ragingpanda

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/...213503201.html

Just seems like the biggest mistake this man has ever made.



Want to know the secret on how to never get divorced? Never get married.

.

[ragingpanda]

California love gone wrong...

Expensive is the aftermath.

[F30lolz]

$300k/month. Won’t get by with that amount in Cali.

SMH, about to start a GoFundMe for her.

[RickFLM4]

Originally Posted by ragingpanda

There is absolutely no pussy out there that is worth 300k a month.

Well apparently there is.

[LaVitaEBella]

The divorce settlement is getting expensive nowadays, but money will never be a problem for the rich.

[sygazelle]

As a person happily married for many years I will offer another point of view:


Marriage is not for everybody. I get that. If the OP feels this way he should certainly consider not getting married.

For us, a successful marriage meant buying into the whole concept of marriage and the vows that we shared.

We agreed when we had kids that my wife would stay home with the kids until they got through school. I was lucky enough to have a career where we could afford to do that. But even though I was the "breadwinner", I never once thought of our assets as my money. Without my wife's support, I never would have finished college or grad school. Without her taking care of the home front, I never could have had the time to focus on my career and earn what I earned over the years. I was still very involved at home and with the kids, but my wife stepped up and took care of things so I could concentrate on my career.

We have had a great life and a great relationship. Our two kids are raised and through college and between them they have 6 kids (our grand kids). To me, our situation is priceless. So to answer the OP's question, I would get married nowadays in a heartbeat if I had to do it over again.


Back to the point of the $3.5 million per year that Dr. Dre's wife gets in the settlement: That's NOT his money that he is giving her. That's THEIR money that they chose to settle on as an annual payment out of their marriage assets. This notion that no pussy is worth $300k per month is not quite accurate since it was her money too according to the law.

I have no idea if Dr. Dre's career would have flourished the way that it did without his wife by his side all of these years. You'd have to ask him that. But, the $3.5 million per year is only 1/3 of one percent of his assets. To put that into perspective, if a regular guy with $500,000 in assets gets divorced, this settlement would equal only $1,750 per year to the wife. I think most guys would be very happy with such a settlement.

[Tommy-G]

Imagine having to write that check every month, how pissed you would be?
(I know that's not reality but imagine anyway)

[ryan stewart]

Originally Posted by Tommy-G

Imagine having to write that check every month, how pissed you would be?
(I know that's not reality but imagine anyway)

[pikkagtr]

About 50% of marriages in the US end up in a divorce
Some people like to go sky diving
If I told you that half of the time your chute won't open , would you still jump ?

[ragingpanda]

Originally Posted by pikkagtr

About 50% of marriages in the US end up in a divorce
Some people like to go sky diving
If I told you that half of the time your chute won't open , would you still jump ?

[zx10guy]

Originally Posted by sygazelle

As a person happily married for many years I will offer another point of view:


Marriage is not for everybody. I get that. If the OP feels this way he should certainly consider not getting married.

For us, a successful marriage meant buying into the whole concept of marriage and the vows that we shared.

We agreed when we had kids that my wife would stay home with the kids until they got through school. I was lucky enough to have a career where we could afford to do that. But even though I was the "breadwinner", I never once thought of our assets as my money. Without my wife's support, I never would have finished college or grad school. Without her taking care of the home front, I never could have had the time to focus on my career and earn what I earned over the years. I was still very involved at home and with the kids, but my wife stepped up and took care of things so I could concentrate on my career.

We have had a great life and a great relationship. Our two kids are raised and through college and between them they have 6 kids (our grand kids). To me, our situation is priceless. So to answer the OP's question, I would get married nowadays in a heartbeat if I had to do it over again.


Back to the point of the $3.5 million per year that Dr. Dre's wife gets in the settlement: That's NOT his money that he is giving her. That's THEIR money that they chose to settle on as an annual payment out of their marriage assets. This notion that no pussy is worth $300k per month is not quite accurate since it was her money too according to the law.

I have no idea if Dr. Dre's career would have flourished the way that it did without his wife by his side all of these years. You'd have to ask him that. But, the $3.5 million per year is only 1/3 of one percent of his assets. To put that into perspective, if a regular guy with $500,000 in assets gets divorced, this settlement would equal only $1,750 per year to the wife. I think most guys would be very happy with such a settlement.

Your situation is what the ideal marriage would be. So I'm happy for you and others that have this situation. But to put out the counterpoint to an ideal marriage and how things can go horribly wrong, here's what I went through.

Got married. Agreed that the wife would stay home after she gave birth to our daughter. That's where everything went downhill. I tried to help with all the baby duties but was met with verbal abuse and hostility. Everything she did was right and everything I did was wrong. She was studying for her nursing degree which I was funding 100%. She drove herself nuts studying and taking care of our daughter even though I tried to help. This led to further tension in our marriage. Eventually, she started to go hang out with her friends to the point where it was a regular weekly occurrence. She took our daughter and left our daughter with her mother to take care of when she was out clubbing. This was the start of the alienation between my daughter and myself. I got cancer for the second time during the marriage which I had to deal with by myself. She stopped going to the appointments and I had complications from the surgery which again I dealt with by myself. I kept paying the bills and even when I went out to shop for groceries, I would get things she needed. But I had to cook my own meals, do my own laundry, and do all the maintenance around the house.

Fast forward to the divorce which I initiated because I got tired of the whole situation. I wanted 50/50 custody of our daughter. The wife refused. Was advised by my lawyer that would be a long shot. Even if I tried, I would have put myself into financial ruin as the way the family laws are written, I had to pay for the wife's attorney's fees in addition to mine. So she knew she can wait me out. She ran off with a good chunk of my assets where she's been set up nice and pretty with a fully paid off car, a new career in nursing, a townhouse, and a good start with her retirement account. All courtesy of me. Yes, during the marriage my income is considered 50/50. But I can honestly say that she contributed zero to me earning that money.

BTW, the marriage on paper was only about 6 years. The only saving grace was that I only had to pay alimony for 6 months post divorce. But I did pay about a year and half of it during the separation along with child support.

Until family law changes where it doesn't give all the benefit and incentive to the woman in a divorce, I don't know why any male would consider marriage.

[unluky]

Originally Posted by sygazelle

As a person happily married for many years I will offer another point of view:


Marriage is not for everybody. I get that. If the OP feels this way he should certainly consider not getting married.

For us, a successful marriage meant buying into the whole concept of marriage and the vows that we shared.

We agreed when we had kids that my wife would stay home with the kids until they got through school. I was lucky enough to have a career where we could afford to do that. But even though I was the "breadwinner", I never once thought of our assets as my money. Without my wife's support, I never would have finished college or grad school. Without her taking care of the home front, I never could have had the time to focus on my career and earn what I earned over the years. I was still very involved at home and with the kids, but my wife stepped up and took care of things so I could concentrate on my career.

We have had a great life and a great relationship. Our two kids are raised and through college and between them they have 6 kids (our grand kids). To me, our situation is priceless. So to answer the OP's question, I would get married nowadays in a heartbeat if I had to do it over again.


Back to the point of the $3.5 million per year that Dr. Dre's wife gets in the settlement: That's NOT his money that he is giving her. That's THEIR money that they chose to settle on as an annual payment out of their marriage assets. This notion that no pussy is worth $300k per month is not quite accurate since it was her money too according to the law.

I have no idea if Dr. Dre's career would have flourished the way that it did without his wife by his side all of these years. You'd have to ask him that. But, the $3.5 million per year is only 1/3 of one percent of his assets. To put that into perspective, if a regular guy with $500,000 in assets gets divorced, this settlement would equal only $1,750 per year to the wife. I think most guys would be very happy with such a settlement.

And I think this is what everyone is hopeful when they get married and what they plan to happen.

But here is another point of view for you - why could you not have had everything you mentioned above - without being married? In my opinion you could. Commitment to me is not something I make to the state for a piece of paper - it is something I make to whomever I choose to spend my life with.

If we take religion out of it - marriage is just incorporating your commitment in the laws eyes. I have absolutely nothing at all against marriage for the record, even though I have never been married. I have however seen marriage ruin a lot of peoples lives - women and men. Usually their faults though.

I do love seeing it when it works like in your case, that is what everyone should hope for when going into it. A partnership though the good and especially the bad. So many people do it for the wrong reasons or with Hollywood movie dreams of what it will be and then cut and run as soon as the toothpaste is squeezed from the wrong end. Kudos to you - making it that far you had to weather some storms for sure. Nice work.

[ryan stewart]

Originally Posted by pikkagtr

About 50% of marriages in the US end up in a divorce
Some people like to go sky diving
If I told you that half of the time your chute won't open , would you still jump ?

Im not huge on marriage myself but that isnt how it works. It would be "would you go skydiving knowing that over your entire 20 year career of it your chute wouldnt open?"

Ive had primary chute issues 3 times already and Im only 40...

[Mein11]

Originally Posted by zx10guy

BTW, the marriage on paper was only about 6 years. The only saving grace was that I only had to pay alimony for 6 months post divorce. But I did pay about a year and half of it during the separation along with child support.

Until family law changes where it doesn't give all the benefit and incentive to the woman in a divorce, I don't know why any male would consider marriage.

Your situation is exactly why I'm adverse to marriage. Especially after the roller coaster that was my last long term relationship of 6 years. I feel your story is much more relatable amongst people compared to sygazelle's, which is sad to say. I hope you're doing better these days and that you're able to have a relationship with your daughter.

[DETRoadster]

Originally Posted by zx10guy

Your situation is what the ideal marriage would be. So I'm happy for you and others that have this situation. But to put out the counterpoint to an ideal marriage and how things can go horribly wrong, here's what I went through.

Got married. Agreed that the wife would stay home after she gave birth to our daughter. That's where everything went downhill. I tried to help with all the baby duties but was met with verbal abuse and hostility. Everything she did was right and everything I did was wrong. She was studying for her nursing degree which I was funding 100%. She drove herself nuts studying and taking care of our daughter even though I tried to help. This led to further tension in our marriage. Eventually, she started to go hang out with her friends to the point where it was a regular weekly occurrence. She took our daughter and left our daughter with her mother to take care of when she was out clubbing. This was the start of the alienation between my daughter and myself. I got cancer for the second time during the marriage which I had to deal with by myself. She stopped going to the appointments and I had complications from the surgery which again I dealt with by myself. I kept paying the bills and even when I went out to shop for groceries, I would get things she needed. But I had to cook my own meals, do my own laundry, and do all the maintenance around the house.

Fast forward to the divorce which I initiated because I got tired of the whole situation. I wanted 50/50 custody of our daughter. The wife refused. Was advised by my lawyer that would be a long shot. Even if I tried, I would have put myself into financial ruin as the way the family laws are written, I had to pay for the wife's attorney's fees in addition to mine. So she knew she can wait me out. She ran off with a good chunk of my assets where she's been set up nice and pretty with a fully paid off car, a new career in nursing, a townhouse, and a good start with her retirement account. All courtesy of me. Yes, during the marriage my income is considered 50/50. But I can honestly say that she contributed zero to me earning that money.

BTW, the marriage on paper was only about 6 years. The only saving grace was that I only had to pay alimony for 6 months post divorce. But I did pay about a year and half of it during the separation along with child support.

Until family law changes where it doesn't give all the benefit and incentive to the woman in a divorce, I don't know why any male would consider marriage.

Damn dude, that sucks. Curious how old your now ex wife was when you met and when all this went down. I ask because a lot of her actions sound very familiar to my 1st wife when things went bad. The hanging out with friends, leaving me to fend for myself when I had surgery then pneumonia, me paying all the bills so she could F off and have fun. No kids and no cancer in my story (thankfully), but many parallels to yours. I always chocked it up to age and immaturity. We were early 20s at the time.

Divorce law and family law are definitely 50 years behind the times. I get the need to look out for women who traditionally make less than men and traditionally are the ones who sacrifice the career to raise the kids. But women these days are not destitute if they don't have a man, like they were in the past. They also arent shunned by society for being a single mom. At the same time, dads are perfectly equipped to be as good or even better care takers of children. Times have changed and divorce and family law needs to catch up.

[ryan stewart]

Originally Posted by unluky

If we take religion out of it - marriage is just incorporating your commitment in the laws eyes. I have absolutely nothing at all against marriage for the record, even though I have never been married. I have however seen marriage ruin a lot of peoples lives - women and men. Usually their faults though.

Youre applying a selection bias though, tons of people manage to ruin their lives without marraige. Jobs, cars, houses, drugs, knocking some chick up, getting knocked up, etc.

Im 40 and never married. Personally it holds no value to me because of a lot of the reasons you mentioned (its not required for a commitment, Im a heathen, etc). Not saying I never would, but it would be more of a gift I gave to the right woman, not something Id ever need.

But the times I have gotten close the risk to me was minimal. Most states have moved on from the old ways by now, if they do spousal support or equity distribution of assets its really just a comparison of earners and earning potential.

One advantage of not dating 20 year olds is the women Ive been with can make their own money, own their own homes, etc. The current girlfriends situation is similar. Her house is worth about as much as mine and she only owes about $50k more. I make about double than she does but, at least on paper, her net worth is more than mine because of her business. Georgia is one of those states where you show what you brought in and you can take it with you, its just the additional wealth accrued during the marriage that has to be figured out. House is easy, she could try for temporary spousal support (which is short here anyway) but then Id go for equity in the business, so likely Id just say, "You don't ask for spousal support and I wont ask for equity, deal?"

Honestly that's the most common situation among my group of friends. Most just uncoupled because they were both high earners with degrees, etc. Even those with kids just ended up with 50/50 with one person being "primary" and they end up paying something paltry like a couple of hundred bucks for child support a month. Its only going to be a war if you are really imbalanced in wealth/earning in a backwards state.

[Alpine300zhp]

Originally Posted by RickFLM4

They were married 24 years. He's worth somewhere close to a billion. Honestly, not that bad of a settlement.

Truth.

[zx10guy]

Originally Posted by Mein11

Your situation is exactly why I'm adverse to marriage. Especially after the roller coaster that was my last long term relationship of 6 years. I feel your story is much more relatable amongst people compared to sygazelle's, which is sad to say. I hope you're doing better these days and that you're able to have a relationship with your daughter.

Thank you. Yes. My relationship with my daughter is much better than it was. Sort of also what pushed me into filing. During the separation, my relationship with my daughter was plunging and my ex wouldn't cooperate in making things better. So I had nothing to lose at that point. Once the lawyers and courts got involved, things changed as for months, I couldn't even get my daughter to come with me for my overnights. Magically when the court/lawyers were involved, the ex made sure my daughter would come with me. My ex put me through the ringer with my daughter. My attorney said most men would have given up with the amount of crap my ex put me through. I wouldn't give up. Unfortunately, all the stress during that period has now given me another gift of high blood pressure to add to my other medical issues.