Dating - Good/Bad Experiences

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by Bayerische Motoren Werke

i get this myself
chicks who come home either think im gay or already have a girlfriend because i'm a tidy guy with some sense of design, but some add 2 and 2 together and realize someone has to be funding this and that's when all hell breaks loose. on the daily you'll see me in gray shorts or joggers and a black, v-neck shirt. unless you look at my wrist and/or smell me there's no way to tell i just dont like showing off. when they do though, that's when they go on overdrive and i used to feel like a piece of shit for taking advantage of it but now i dont anymore, if they're willing to do all this stuff because my parents are successful human beings i'll gladly get laid


on other news: met up with A, basically explained what happened and why i ended up ghosting her, shit's fine - she immediately said she's seeing someone else and i told her i'd be fine if she didn't want to see me ever again or just be friends (she was kinda cool because i was able to send her muslim memes and she'd understand+not be offended) and i guess we're chilling? on the way back from dropping her off though i got a CEL and went to autozone to see what's up - both O2 sensors are toast

That's your BMW's way of telling you it is jealous haha.

[Turkish Pickle]

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

That's your BMW's way of telling you it is jealous haha.

wish it was the BMW, that'd mean i was back home it's the lincoln

it's literally about to cost me at least a couple thousand very soon, tires are getting old, need brakes, scheduled maintenance is coming up etc AND ford can't into transmissions so its literally a ticking time bomb.

so i'm trying to sell it and buy a E36 M3!

[BuzzE46]

This thread is fucking great lol

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by Kyngofpop

I mean...REALLY?! My skin is brown and I live in the South and date who I WANT to date. Male, female, brown, pale...what have you. If you have to have "the talk" with ANYONE, you're the one with an issue with your race, NOT the people you DATE!

I've never had to have "the talk" and never will. If anyone that I date sees my skin color or even utters the WORDS "I've nvr dated a brown person", the fkn date is OVER!

I'm not a science experiment, I'm a fucking HUMAN and expect to be treated as such and treat others as such.

As far as the brown women being upset that you date outside of your race and you pre-empting the other women that you date?! Lmmfao!! Fkn HILARIOUS! I'm almost CERTAIN that they're THANKFUL that they don't have to date you and deal with your hatred of the skin that you were born in.

You think highly of your class but lowly of the skin that you were born. You are a sad case of a human being and I feel sorry for you.

And yes, this comes from someone that doesn't date based upon race, gender, sexuality, or what other construct comes into play. I date based upon who and what I LIKE when I get to it and feel sorry for others that don't. I can only imagine the words that fly up out of your mouth when a beautiful brown woman walks by...saddens me to think what you think of your MOTHER!

Ugh...I'm done. Sad as FUCK!

You seem quite angry. This is understandable and also proves my point. I have no hatred of the skin I'm born in but the objective realization of understanding what that means. Particularly in dating.

Have you been yanked out of your car by the cops and told that, "we don't like that around here" with reference to my then-gf Beth who was blonde-blue? I'm guessing not.

Have you been on the dance floor with a girl WHO ASKED YOU TO DANCE and some redneck comes up and asks if she is ok? Again, I'm guessing not.

There is an aphorism that says something about judgement before you walk a mile in their shoes. I suggest you look it up.

And do something about your anger issues.

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by Never_Enough

Are these long-distance women or something?

So you're asking if her friends and/or family are racist? Wowzas.

Way too vague to respond to.

Women are cunts regardless. Just perhaps a little more of it in that case. Are you looking for a gf or a talk show co-host?


I agree. Sadly, most people are anything but honest anymore.

Not long distance. Fairly local which I consider with 100 miles.

Not asking if racist...asking if they could handle it. My current gf's daughter had major issues borne of that fact. My gf told me and also informed me that she informed her daughter in no uncertain terms to get over it. This is a real thing.

I don't think women are cunts and this is a pretty crappy thing to say. I'm looking for someone with intelligence, no insane baggage, sexy and hot, and who likes to have fun Period.

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by Kyngofpop

Proves your point? What was your point?

Each of these incidents that you speak of don't seem isolated because I'm certain that it happens, but there's potential manifestation of problems if they're dwelled on ad nauseum.

You attract the attention that you put out and if you're insecure with your skin color, sexuality, height, weight etc... or make it an issue then so too will others. It's that simple.

As for being pulled out of a car by a policeman and told to you what he said....that police department would be shut DOWN and you should have had every news outlet that exists on this story. In this data age there's no excuse for things like this to happen and for ANYONE to have to accept it and/or to be made to feel a certain way because of their skin tone, who they choose as friends, or who they choose to date!

For the record I'm not angry nor do I have anger issues, I'm saddened by your story actually. Maybe I was raised in a bubble but the topic of race is one that never came up in my upbringing because I was raised to be a human first and foremost. Anything else comes second. My friend groups range from ultra conservatives to extreme liberals and race is just something that doesn't exist in my world and never comes up because it's not a focus.

"The talk" may be doing you more harm than good in the dating department. The one time that anything came up in my life like this that was remotely similar was when the first person that I dated at 16's parents were shocked that we were two males dating first and then we were different skin colors. We both had no issues with it and decided to let the parents work through the issue themselves because we liked each other and we're dating each other, NOT them.

I don't pre-empt ANYONE on who I'm sleeping with because it's none of my concern whether they accept it or not, and I suggest you do the same.

My views may be idealistic and a bit naive but all I'm saying is you seem a little insecure and people may be playing on that wherever you're from in the South.

Again, I am relating my experience and I'm probably a good bit older than you. I don't know where you're from but there are a few things you need to know about me.

1. I'm a CEO who built my own company. Insecure is not what I do in anything. Period. End of story.
2. I've never pre-empted anyone but I'm often the first POC that many of these people have dated in my age range. I've had to develop this because it's caused problems with people who live in bubbles and think this doesn't still occur. It does. If you aren't seeing it and don't understand, I suggest you expand your field of vision and see beyond what you're accustomed to seeing.
3. These aren't isolate incidents. I have a dear friend in a mixed marriage who moved from the area because of the harassment they received and later, their kids.

Finally, your judgmental attitude is quite off-putting and the mere fact that you feel you can perform a pop-culture, internet analysis of me based on me relating my experiences, which you seem to largely discount, speaks more on your arrogance than my so-called, by you, insecurities.

Enjoy your day-mk

[Turkish Pickle]

BOYS HELP PLS

spent the day in the suburbs with that "model" chick i described in a previous post, nice day altogether was eventful.
then as i'm dropping her off she said she really wanted to sleep with me but was seeing someone else, followed by just in general really shitty human being content (aka how the sex has to be worth it so she can dump the guy, otherwise he'd never hear about us).

now here's my dilemma: my brain says run away and never look back, as something like that happening to me would make me very furious. my heart says learn who the other guy is, sleep with her, and then let the guy know. my dick says just get in and don't care about anything else - if he's "okay" with knowing that his gf spent a whole day with some random dude in the suburbs (he's back in school apparently) i unfortunately can't respect that guy as a man; apparently he knows of me but not of what happened between her and i?

which organ do i listen to? brain has a good point about personal ethics, dick has a good point about personal values, and heart covers both my dick while also somewhat satisfying my brain.

then again: she isn't the only person who i can have sex, and getting into it knowing she has prior commitments is just wrong in my book so im kinda on the edge; the amount of red flags she managed to throw in one night is enough to knock down MKSixer and Not_Judy at once - definitely off the list for potential gf material for sure but she is vocally into rough sex apparently and i kinda want to get a taste

idk am i making a huge deal of this for no reason? what would you guys do?

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Bayerische Motoren Werke

BOYS HELP PLS

spent the day in the suburbs with that "model" chick i described in a previous post, nice day altogether was eventful.
then as i'm dropping her off she said she really wanted to sleep with me but was seeing someone else, followed by just in general really shitty human being content (aka how the sex has to be worth it so she can dump the guy, otherwise he'd never hear about us).

now here's my dilemma: my brain says run away and never look back, as something like that happening to me would make me very furious. my heart says learn who the other guy is, sleep with her, and then let the guy know. my dick says just get in and don't care about anything else - if he's "okay" with knowing that his gf spent a whole day with some random dude in the suburbs (he's back in school apparently) i unfortunately can't respect that guy as a man; apparently he knows of me but not of what happened between her and i?

which organ do i listen to? brain has a good point about personal ethics, dick has a good point about personal values, and heart covers both my dick while also somewhat satisfying my brain.

then again: she isn't the only person who i can have sex, and getting into it knowing she has prior commitments is just wrong in my book so im kinda on the edge; the amount of red flags she managed to throw in one night is enough to knock down MKSixer and Not_Judy at once - definitely off the list for potential gf material for sure but she is vocally into rough sex apparently and i kinda want to get a taste

idk am i making a huge deal of this for no reason? what would you guys do?

Been in this exact situation. Here are you options:

- Do not get into any kind of serious relationship with this girl. PERIOD. I refer to her behavior as "Monkey Syndrome" she isn't going to let go of one branch until she has another that she knows will support her. AGAIN, DO NOT GET CLOSE TO HER. You can only expect her to treat you the same way she is treating him.

- If you have sex with her just to let him know, you may potentially end up with an enemy on your hands here. You don't want this in this day age. People tend to over escalate things. The mental stress, physical harm or possible financial liability isn't worth it. On the other hand, he may thank you for it.....I doubt it though. Either way, he's going to be upset in some form.

- If you have sex with her and keep it on the down low......there are several issues with this.
- If it's good, she's going to want it all the time and so
will you. She will either leave him for you, which is
shitty or she will continue to cheat on him with you,
which is shitty as well.
- If it's something that you end up not being into, you
you never know until you try, you've now been "the. other guy" and run the risk of
him finding out and run the risk of him possibly
starting problems with you.
- If you have sex with her while she is still with him
put yourself in his shoes. Would you want to be with
a girl who is considering having sex with another
guy behind your back. The mental anguish that
comes with this is not cool.

The gentlemanly thing to do here is avoid the situation all the way around. There are women out there that will have freaky sex with you that aren't involved with another man. Considering that you've not had the kind of sex she is offering before, you're going to want it again. It will turn into a reoccurring situation and she'll either just want the sex and continue with the current guy or she'll leave him for you. Consider if she leaves him for you, at some point she will find someone else to have sex with, while with you, and then leave you for the new guy.....Monkey Syndrome. This is just how some women operate....typically narcissists. This only the beginning of her showing you who she is. If she is like this in the beginning, there will only be more underlying problems moving forward.

I have been in this situation from being in your shoes, being the guy she is with now and also being her. There is no favorable outcome. I can't expect you to learn from my experiences/mistakes as ultimately you are going to do whatever you are going to do; I can only give you the potential outcomes and allow you to make the decision yourself.

I hope this helps.

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

Been in this exact situation. Here are you options:

- Do not get into any kind of serious relationship with this girl. PERIOD. I refer to her behavior as "Monkey Syndrome" she isn't going to let go of one branch until she has another that she knows will support her. AGAIN, DO NOT GET CLOSE TO HER. You can only expect her to treat you the same way she is treating him.

- If you have sex with her just to let him know, you may potentially end up with an enemy on your hands here. You don't want this in this day age. People tend to over escalate things. The mental stress, physical harm or possible financial liability isn't worth it. On the other hand, he may thank you for it.....I doubt it though. Either way, he's going to be upset in some form.

- If you have sex with her and keep it on the down low......there are several issues with this.
- If it's good, she's going to want it all the time and so
will you. She will either leave him for you, which is
shitty or she will continue to cheat on him with you,
which is shitty as well.
- If it's something that you end up not being into, you
you never know until you try, you've now been "the. other guy" and run the risk of
him finding out and run the risk of him possibly
starting problems with you.
- If you have sex with her while she is still with him
put yourself in his shoes. Would you want to be with
a girl who is considering having sex with another
guy behind your back. The mental anguish that
comes with this is not cool.

The gentlemanly thing to do here is avoid the situation all the way around. There are women out there that will have freaky sex with you that aren't involved with another man. Considering that you've not had the kind of sex she is offering before, you're going to want it again. It will turn into a reoccurring situation and she'll either just want the sex and continue with the current guy or she'll leave him for you. Consider if she leaves him for you, at some point she will find someone else to have sex with, while with you, and then leave you for the new guy.....Monkey Syndrome. This is just how some women operate....typically narcissists. This only the beginning of her showing you who she is. If she is like this in the beginning, there will only be more underlying problems moving forward.

I have been in this situation from being in your shoes, being the guy she is with now and also being her. There is no favorable outcome. I can't expect you to learn from my experiences/mistakes as ultimately you are going to do whatever you are going to do; I can only give you the potential outcomes and allow you to make the decision yourself.

I hope this helps.

This. Don't go near it. If she'll do it with you, she'll do it to you.

[Turkish Pickle]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

Been in this exact situation. Here are you options:

- Do not get into any kind of serious relationship with this girl. PERIOD. I refer to her behavior as "Monkey Syndrome" she isn't going to let go of one branch until she has another that she knows will support her. AGAIN, DO NOT GET CLOSE TO HER. You can only expect her to treat you the same way she is treating him.

- If you have sex with her just to let him know, you may potentially end up with an enemy on your hands here. You don't want this in this day age. People tend to over escalate things. The mental stress, physical harm or possible financial liability isn't worth it. On the other hand, he may thank you for it.....I doubt it though. Either way, he's going to be upset in some form.

- If you have sex with her and keep it on the down low......there are several issues with this.
- If it's good, she's going to want it all the time and so
will you. She will either leave him for you, which is
shitty or she will continue to cheat on him with you,
which is shitty as well.
- If it's something that you end up not being into, you
you never know until you try, you've now been "the. other guy" and run the risk of
him finding out and run the risk of him possibly
starting problems with you.
- If you have sex with her while she is still with him
put yourself in his shoes. Would you want to be with
a girl who is considering having sex with another
guy behind your back. The mental anguish that
comes with this is not cool.

The gentlemanly thing to do here is avoid the situation all the way around. There are women out there that will have freaky sex with you that aren't involved with another man. Considering that you've not had the kind of sex she is offering before, you're going to want it again. It will turn into a reoccurring situation and she'll either just want the sex and continue with the current guy or she'll leave him for you. Consider if she leaves him for you, at some point she will find someone else to have sex with, while with you, and then leave you for the new guy.....Monkey Syndrome. This is just how some women operate....typically narcissists. This only the beginning of her showing you who she is. If she is like this in the beginning, there will only be more underlying problems moving forward.

I have been in this situation from being in your shoes, being the guy she is with now and also being her. There is no favorable outcome. I can't expect you to learn from my experiences/mistakes as ultimately you are going to do whatever you are going to do; I can only give you the potential outcomes and allow you to make the decision yourself.

I hope this helps.

you're right my man, i made it clear that i did not want anything more than physical and i was not going to promise anything afterwards but at the end of the day i can
1- find someone without a relationship to have any form of sex with
2- we both kinda agreed nothing might come out of it but i'm not looking to have a potentially clingy person with these traits run after me
3- i actually feel bad for the guy to some extent, i kinda phrased that wrong in the post above but you get what i mean.

the best outcome would be to avoid too mostly because of the stuff that happened in the car - i also like to think of myself as a bit higher than just being someone's male version of a mistress...

also funny you mentioned the monkey syndrome, she said that herself lol

Originally Posted by MKSixer

This. Don't go near it. If she'll do it with you, she'll do it to you.

oh yeah no worries on that part, she basically explained why she should never be a gf in her own words but i see your point. i geniuinely had not ever heard of the other dude until last night, she knows we're not exclusive. i just didn't know she was exclusive with another dude

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by MKSixer

This. Don't go near it. If she'll do it with you, she'll do it to you.

+1

Don't walk, RUN away from this woman.

[Never_Enough]

Originally Posted by MKSixer

Not long distance. Fairly local which I consider with 100 miles.

Not asking if racist...asking if they could handle it. My current gf's daughter had major issues borne of that fact. My gf told me and also informed me that she informed her daughter in no uncertain terms to get over it. This is a real thing.

I don't think women are cunts and this is a pretty crappy thing to say. I'm looking for someone with intelligence, no insane baggage, sexy and hot, and who likes to have fun Period.

It's real. I'm out there in the dating game. Lots of cunts out there. More cunts than women worth speaking to so far lately...

[Never_Enough]

Originally Posted by Bayerische Motoren Werke

oh yeah no worries on that part, she basically explained why she should never be a gf in her own words but i see your point. i geniuinely had not ever heard of the other dude until last night, she knows we're not exclusive. i just didn't know she was exclusive with another dude

Must be one of these "open relationship" sluts. That seems to be the new fad now. Hard pass on those gems.

[Never_Enough]

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

Yes, there are people who do that in an interview, it becomes quite uncomfortable actually.

Shy is one thing, that sounds like some kind of social disorder. Did you make her laugh? That usually helps break the shyness a bit. Sucks because sometimes the shy ones are the most fun.

She ended up blowing me, but never saw her again. I can't deal w/that nonsense + the bj was meh

[Never_Enough]

Originally Posted by Bayerische Motoren Werke

i get this myself
chicks who come home either think im gay or already have a girlfriend because i'm a tidy guy with some sense of design,

Add me to this. Gotta be gay to be a clean guy? Wowzas!

[Never_Enough]

Originally Posted by Lups

I still haven't read this. I'm a bit I'll, and I'm bad shape now.

I was just busting your chops fyi

[Lups]

Originally Posted by Never_Enough

I was just busting your chops fyi

That's a well timed stab!

I got most of my muscles in the stomach area (can't call them abs) in various stages of cramps and I've broken a few ribs in this fun process.

Accuracy matters, you made me laugh with yours just now and I probably am breaking a third one by laughing now.

[someguywithanm3]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

I did deal with this once about 2 years after our divorce. She had some p.o.s. that she went on a date with on a Friday night and when I dropped my boys off at their mothers on Sunday he was moved in with her.

A few weeks later the ex-wife had bought an inflatable pool. My boys and his daughter were all playing in the pool. My youngest son who is incredibly soft-hearted apparently splashed his daughter in the face and she started crying. This soon to be struggling for his life piece of shit, held my sons head under the water and started yelling at him.

When I showed up to pick up my boys, the youngest was still crying. He explained to me what happened before we left her house. I instantly went to the door and rang the bell. She answered the door and he refused to come to the front of the house; he was hiding out back. After me explaining to her that if he ever touched my child again, I'd hold his head under the water. I then acted like I was leaving and walked around the side of the house and took him by surprise. Grabbed him by his throat and shoved him up against the wall. Leaned in close to his hear and spoke very quietly and sternly and said, "If you ever touch my child again, no one will ever find your body." It took everything I had not to completely wreck his shit. The only reason I didn't is because his daughter was there and my boys were watching.

By the time I dropped my kids off on Sunday he had moved out.

Bravo

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

I did deal with this once about 2 years after our divorce. She had some p.o.s. that she went on a date with on a Friday night and when I dropped my boys off at their mothers on Sunday he was moved in with her.

A few weeks later the ex-wife had bought an inflatable pool. My boys and his daughter were all playing in the pool. My youngest son who is incredibly soft-hearted apparently splashed his daughter in the face and she started crying. This soon to be struggling for his life piece of shit, held my sons head under the water and started yelling at him.

When I showed up to pick up my boys, the youngest was still crying. He explained to me what happened before we left her house. I instantly went to the door and rang the bell. She answered the door and he refused to come to the front of the house; he was hiding out back. After me explaining to her that if he ever touched my child again, I'd hold his head under the water. I then acted like I was leaving and walked around the side of the house and took him by surprise. Grabbed him by his throat and shoved him up against the wall. Leaned in close to his hear and spoke very quietly and sternly and said, "If you ever touch my child again, no one will ever find your body." It took everything I had not to completely wreck his shit. The only reason I didn't is because his daughter was there and my boys were watching.

By the time I dropped my kids off on Sunday he had moved out.

Father of the Year.
Well done, sir. Well done.

[MKSixer]

Never_Enough Kyngofpop here is why I have the talk.

Time: Last night.
Place: High end steakhouse.

The president of a company on whose board I sit came into town and wanted to have a quick sit down to get my opinion on a few which transpired at a meeting he had a few hours prior to us getting together. Nothing formal...just 2 guys talking in a bar. I knew how long it would take and asked my friend to meet us around 9:45-10:00 PM for a late drink. The prez and I finished, she rolls in, says hi and he departs.

We then move to the bar and sit to grab our drinks and chat. We ended up talking to about 4 or 5 other patrons in our area with one actually working in my industry and had lively, pleasant conversation. About an hour into in and as we're watching sports center, I rise to go to the head, do my business and come back. She's very close mouthed and her mood, once jubilant and happy is now reserved. She then asks if we can break after we finish the drink. I say sure and we go to a late night coffee house. After we arrive and sit down she said, "that sonofabitch hit on me and asked me what someone that looks like me is doing with that N-word." She didn't want to make a scene and chose not to tell me in the moment. This was a guy that I hit it off with, or so I thought, and had actually exchanged phone numbers as we have friends in common in my industry.

This crap still happens and I will take my own counsel on this topic.

Cheers gentlemen - mk

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by OnerDriver

You didn't make much sense, with all due respect (I've been a long time lurker and have you in very high regard, as I do many others here).

The guy was an asshole.
Your skin colour has nothing to do with it.
You "having the talk" wouldn't have changed the scenario above in the slightest.

Insert any other adjective where the N word was placed (whitey, fat, loser, bald, short, sweaty, short-dicked, poor, rich ass, snob, white trash, plebe, stuck up, etc you get the gist).

I fail to see how "the talk" would've changed the outcome of your otherwise pleasant evening (I can perhaps see how having had the talk could have made that evening maybe less pleasant all around, as your date could've come defensive expecting the worst as per your "talk").

Do you see how it could've helped your scenario?

I find this quite interesting as my friend told me that she didn't believe things like this still happened until she started dating me. Is it confirmation bias or just increased situational awareness?

There were quite a few words he could have used to describe me but he went to that place. Why would he do that? If you can give me a satisfactory answer when I'm wearing a 1500 suit and I'm clearly intelligent based on our conversation. He could have simply state, "Hey, I'm sure he's a nice guy but if you ever get tired of him, hit me up...here's my number". I know this because it happens. Guys have hit on her before and I don't mind paying what I call the, "pretty girl tax". Guys hit on hot women. If you don't like it, don't date a hot woman. He chose to use a racially charged word. His choice. Nothing to do with me besides my phenotype.

What is the excuse for this? I'm asking quite seriously.

[DETRoadster]

Originally Posted by MKSixer

Never_Enough Kyngofpop here is why I have the talk.

Time: Last night.
Place: High end steakhouse.

The president of a company on whose board I sit came into town and wanted to have a quick sit down to get my opinion on a few which transpired at a meeting he had a few hours prior to us getting together. Nothing formal...just 2 guys talking in a bar. I knew how long it would take and asked my friend to meet us around 9:45-10:00 PM for a late drink. The prez and I finished, she rolls in, says hi and he departs.

We then move to the bar and sit to grab our drinks and chat. We ended up talking to about 4 or 5 other patrons in our area with one actually working in my industry and had lively, pleasant conversation. About an hour into in and as we're watching sports center, I rise to go to the head, do my business and come back. She's very close mouthed and her mood, once jubilant and happy is now reserved. She then asks if we can break after we finish the drink. I say sure and we go to a late night coffee house. After we arrive and sit down she said, "that sonofabitch hit on me and asked me what someone that looks like me is doing with that N-word." She didn't want to make a scene and chose not to tell me in the moment. This was a guy that I hit it off with, or so I thought, and had actually exchanged phone numbers as we have friends in common in my industry.

This crap still happens and I will take my own counsel on this topic.

Cheers gentlemen - mk

You know what upsets me most about this? The fact that you are so calm and rational in how you handled the situation and describe it here in your post. It tells me this is about the 10 millionth time you've had to deal with this sort of thing and that's just so sad and wrong.

What baffles me is that the guy gave you his number and given your mutual friends it's no mystery to you who he is or how to find him. Then he has the balls (stupidity?) to use that term with your lady friend, who obviously doesn't share those views. In what way does that situation work out for that guy?

If you need a 15 yard dump truck of steaming manure ordered up to his house, just hit me up. Happy to help.