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10-15-2014, 04:18 PM | #111 |
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As the male ages, his flexibility declines. As the female ages, her D's elongate. Put the two together and the elder male can still reach the nipple while impaling the elder female. Hence the saying "I want to grow old with you"
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10-18-2014, 11:44 AM | #113 |
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I just ate a bowl of canned Hormel chili.
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10-20-2014, 05:42 PM | #115 | ||
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D's are fun to play with, but natural D's sags without bra. Played around with A,B,C,D,DD, on my youth year, and B,C are the best. D's are my 2nd choice. However, I cannot decide my distant 3rd. Fat girl's natural DD or anorexic A cup.
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10-20-2014, 06:07 PM | #116 |
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Anorexic a cup all day. Fat people gross me the fuck out.
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10-20-2014, 08:43 PM | #117 |
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I just changed my boss' ringtone to "An idiot is attempting to reach you on your cellular device."
http://www.zedge.net/ringtone/1509418/
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10-21-2014, 09:38 AM | #120 | |
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So my boss has Dolly Parton's "9 to 5". Mainly because I couldn't find a song that was 10 to 3. Make's me chuckle when he calls me at 4PM from out of the office.
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10-21-2014, 03:17 PM | #121 |
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I cheat with coupons. I have them sent to my work address and the same ones sent my home address.
That shit adds up! $20 off a case of formula instead of $10 is so worth it! |
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10-21-2014, 09:14 PM | #122 |
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The Asshole song? J/K I've a huge Leary fan since the days of No Cure for Cancer, and he does great with Rescue Me, especially since one of my good friend is actually a firefighter.
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10-21-2014, 09:19 PM | #123 | |
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Sorry, fact of life...dead beat hubby needs to hook you up. |
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10-22-2014, 09:22 AM | #125 | |
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no signature. except for this one.
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10-22-2014, 09:23 AM | #126 | |
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10-22-2014, 09:42 AM | #127 |
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10-22-2014, 09:48 AM | #128 |
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.... I stole the cookies from the cookie jar. I confess.
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10-22-2014, 09:51 AM | #129 |
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10-22-2014, 09:57 AM | #130 |
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10-22-2014, 01:12 PM | #131 |
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10-22-2014, 02:43 PM | #132 | |
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EXPANDED: She was transitioning from a no-name smartphone which didn't even have sync turned on to the Galaxy S3 (this was 2012), so she learned through me that she had push email... Then while demonstrating that feature, I accidentally opened an email from her adulterer and managed to catch a blurb about wanting her to sit on his face (glad I learned speed reading), but then she panicked and snatched the phone from me, then gave me a BS excuse. Since I heard somewhere it was taboo to tell someone that it someone is being cheated on, I just left it alone. However, just as guilty conscience was starting to set in at the end of the week... Her husband, who is a firefighter, had to go on a rough call where a little child was covered in 3rd degree burns and invited me to the bar with him to drown it out, so after a few rounds he suddenly slurs out, "Ed, y'know another thing? I think [his wife's name] is fuckin' cheating on me, bro. I'm not sure, but I just have a gut feeling [telling me signs and observations]." Then while I was a bit buzzed too, I leaked out the aforementioned email, then the next morning he managed to figure out her password and we saw that she was sending nudes and messages to 6 guys for 2 years.
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Last edited by NEFARIOUS; 10-22-2014 at 03:39 PM.. Reason: While trying to condense the story, I accidentally erased the fact that we were at a bar. |
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