Dating - Good/Bad Experiences

[JP10]

I categorize texts as non-urgent. While it seems like everyone here is expecting an immediate response. Hell my wife texts me at the beginning of the work day, may be 8-10hrs before I hit her back. Calls - urgent. Text - to me means I can respond whenever I can. Why don't you guys stop thinking about it and trying so hard and just go with the flow. If it happens great, if not then whatever. Goodluck brohombres

[Turkish Pickle]

I'll update on Sunday; work is too slow today and tomorrow I'm going to drive around aimlessly to clear my mind. I ended up texting a friend to be on stand-by for Sunday in case I get ditched lol, worst case I end up getting brunch with a homie

[chinniciF32]

Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle

I'll update on Sunday; work is too slow today and tomorrow I'm going to drive around aimlessly to clear my mind. I ended up texting a friend to be on stand-by for Sunday in case I get ditched lol, worst case I end up getting brunch with a homie

Saturday nights date at 7pm wasn't really a solid yes for me either "saturday night sounds fun! Kinda want to see how im feeling if thats ok? i've got a weekend of three baby first bday parties *insert 3x upside smiley face emojis*" (she was sick and tested for corona with a negative result) then she asked me where is the restaurant and what salsa spot and responded with an "ok " after I told her.

So I went ahead and setup a plan B for 8pm with a 23yo model/banker just incase (boring to talk to and says she just likes to "chill" and "hangout" on the weekends without elaborating).

Then im supposed to drive down to Long Island to see my ex (gf not wife) either later Saturday night or Sunday morning for a "talk" and possible toxic sex .

[Chihuahua]

Originally Posted by chinniciF32

Saturday nights date at 7pm wasn't really a solid yes for me either "saturday night sounds fun! Kinda want to see how im feeling if thats ok? i've got a weekend of three baby first bday parties *insert 3x upside smiley face emojis*" (she was sick and tested for corona with a negative result) then she asked me where is the restaurant and what salsa spot and responded with an "ok " after I told her.

So I went ahead and setup a plan B for 8pm with a 23yo model/banker just incase (boring to talk to and says she just likes to "chill" and "hangout" on the weekends without elaborating).

Then im supposed to drive down to Long Island to see my ex (gf not wife) either later Saturday night or Sunday morning for a "talk" and possible toxic sex .

That's definitely not an approach I would take, but you do you. I once read something on this thread that has stuck with me, and that is "if you chase two rabbits at the same time you'll catch neither". It's VERY sound advice if you're looking for a solid, mature relationship with someone. If you're just looking to spread the seed, carry on.

[upstatedoc]

Originally Posted by chinniciF32

Saturday nights date at 7pm wasn't really a solid yes for me either "saturday night sounds fun! Kinda want to see how im feeling if thats ok? i've got a weekend of three baby first bday parties *insert 3x upside smiley face emojis*" (she was sick and tested for corona with a negative result) then she asked me where is the restaurant and what salsa spot and responded with an "ok " after I told her.

So I went ahead and setup a plan B for 8pm with a 23yo model/banker just incase (boring to talk to and says she just likes to "chill" and "hangout" on the weekends without elaborating).

Then im supposed to drive down to Long Island to see my ex (gf not wife) either later Saturday night or Sunday morning for a "talk" and possible toxic sex .

Gettin some

[ryan stewart]

Sounds like he is just trying to not spend Sat alone. Friday is not fair for "Ill see how I feel" for Saturday, Id say its a no or at least Id treat it as a no. Id go solid plan with the plan B and just tell the first chick, "Hey since its touch and go lets do a rain check until we can actually plan something."

Ill throw the kitchen sink but Im not really willing to sit around twiddling my thumbs.

I would say avoid the ex though, they are an ex for a reason and keeping them around is always an obstacle to moving on. Even if it just means you can count on getting your dick sucked, it makes you lazy.

[chinniciF32]

Originally Posted by Chihuahua

That's definitely not an approach I would take, but you do you. I once read something on this thread that has stuck with me, and that is "if you chase two rabbits at the same time you'll catch neither". It's VERY sound advice if you're looking for a solid, mature relationship with someone. If you're just looking to spread the seed, carry on.

Agreed, the only "rabbit" I actually want for a relationship is option A, option B is more so because im bored I guess and I suppose a saturday with a pretty lady would help keep my mojo intact (as pathetic as that sounds)

Originally Posted by upstatedoc

Gettin some

yes lol

Originally Posted by ryan stewart

Sounds like he is just trying to not spend Sat alone. Friday is not fair for "Ill see how I feel" for Saturday, Id say its a no or at least Id treat it as a no. Id go solid plan with the plan B and just tell the first chick, "Hey since its touch and go lets do a rain check until we can actually plan something."

Ill throw the kitchen sink but Im not really willing to sit around twiddling my thumbs.

I would say avoid the ex though, they are an ex for a reason and keeping them around is always an obstacle to moving on. Even if it just means you can count on getting your dick sucked, it makes you lazy.

Honestly yea i'd rather not be alone if the first date cant make it. Last night (Thursday) she texted me about the "i'll have to see", we've been texting today so I guess we'll see tomorrow morning. I think I may leave the first girl open until she cancels and if she doesnt ill just cancel on the second chick or idk I also like your suggestion "Hey since its touch and go.....".

Yea I should avoid the ex but she drunk dialed me last saturday night and apologized for breaking up with me (broke up with me late january) and we've been talking all week and she wants to try again and I said we can "talk" but no promises and she agreed, if she starts taking her clothes during the "talk" I suppose it wouldnt be the end of the world

[Alfisti]

Cracks me up seeing these young uns trying to avoid spending a weekend night alone, i'd bite your arm off for some alone time.

[Turkish Pickle]

I told my friends I'm going on a date just so I can stay at home alone and not be bothered lol

My plan A is brunch with this girl, and plan B is eggs at home

[Chihuahua]

Originally Posted by chinniciF32

Agreed, the only "rabbit" I actually want for a relationship is option A, option B is more so because im bored I guess and I suppose a saturday with a pretty lady would help keep my mojo intact (as pathetic as that sounds)

Mojo comes from you being the best version of you possible, owning it, and presenting it. It doesn't come from another person.

[chinniciF32]

Originally Posted by Alfisti

Cracks me up seeing these young uns trying to avoid spending a weekend night alone, i'd bite your arm off for some alone time.

I was the same way when I was married, alone time was a breathe of fresh air especially during the shut down.

Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle

I told my friends I'm going on a date just so I can stay at home alone and not be bothered lol

My plan A is brunch with this girl, and plan B is eggs at home

Plan A postponed but she is a good sport I don't sense any white lies with the sick thing been texting all day, Plan B: I might bail cause too tired and don't feel like spending money on someone boring regardless of how good she looks. Might do the stay home thing as well

Originally Posted by Chihuahua

Mojo comes from you being the best version of you possible, owning it, and presenting it. It doesn't come from another person.

Absolutely but it does put a little lead in the pencil for me (then again I'm shallow)

[Chihuahua]

Originally Posted by chinniciF32

Absolutely but it does put a little lead in the pencil for me

Sure, that I can appreciate. Once your confidence gets going it's a MAJOR attractant, and success with a lady can certainly provide a confidence boost.

[Ryry1996]

Yea yea

[Alfisti]

Originally Posted by chinniciF32

I was the same way when I was married, alone time was a breathe of fresh air especially during the shut down.

It's suffocating. Kids have been home school for 2 years, i've not got any real mates here, missing my business trips where i'd just order a pork chop and a beer and watch rugby in my hotel room after work was done.

[Chihuahua]

Originally Posted by Ryry1996

Yea yea

And the pain is thunder!

[Turkish Pickle]

Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle

I'll update on Sunday; work is too slow today and tomorrow I'm going to drive around aimlessly to clear my mind. I ended up texting a friend to be on stand-by for Sunday in case I get ditched lol, worst case I end up getting brunch with a homie

I did not get ditched. She texted me 10.29am (I was around the corner since I told her I'd pick her up 10.30) if we were still on.

Date went very well but ended horribly. Honestly don't think I'm going to see her again :/

[upstatedoc]

wait, did you say you were married somewhere in this mish-mash?

[shoei]

Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle

I did not get ditched. She texted me 10.29am (I was around the corner since I told her I'd pick her up 10.30) if we were still on.

Date went very well but ended horribly. Honestly don't think I'm going to see her again :/

Let me try a different approach. Let's use cars for example, considering we're on a BMW forum.

You're a used vehicle. Decent miles, but you've got some issues. Minor but not taken care of, the leak for example could cause more problems down the road. Your software needs to be updated and there's definitely a recall or two. But you're sitting on the used car lot, all waxed up and shiny trying to command top dollar but you aren't even CPO.

Go get your shit fixed, get CPO'ed, then go back out onto the used car lot. Cuz right now? You're just trying to scam a potential prospect wanting them to get involved with you and then fix all your shit. It's not their responsibility and it's not their job to make your life better.

My two cents.

[Turkish Pickle]

Originally Posted by upstatedoc

wait, did you say you were married somewhere in this mish-mash?

me? i havent married anyone so far

Originally Posted by shoei

Let me try a different approach. Let's use cars for example, considering we're on a BMW forum.

You're a used vehicle. Decent miles, but you've got some issues. Minor but not taken care of, the leak for example could cause more problems down the road. Your software needs to be updated and there's definitely a recall or two. But you're sitting on the used car lot, all waxed up and shiny trying to command top dollar but you aren't even CPO.

Go get your shit fixed, get CPO'ed, then go back out onto the used car lot. Cuz right now? You're just trying to scam a potential prospect wanting them to get involved with you and then fix all your shit. It's not their responsibility and it's not their job to make your life better.

My two cents.

I understand your point, I really do - what is giving that away?

And, how does one tackle that?

[aliiin]

So, started chatting with someone for ~2 days. Conversation flowed really well and IMO it was going really well. She gave me a disclaimer that tends to be a dealbreaker for most people - she splits time between DC and DFW because of work. I'm totally cool about that and am all about transparency. Asked her to meet up and she said she would love to, but it was horrible timing because she's been in DFW for a month, and has to go to DC for next 5 weeks (maybe longer). I told her it's all good, no worries and to let me know when she's back in town.

She checks off a lot of things off my "ideal woman" list. So, should I periodically text her throughout the 5 weeks time? Wait it out and in 5 weeks text her if she doesn't text me? I understand 5 weeks is such a long time in the dating world and a lot can change in that time. What to do?

[Tambohamilton]

Keep texting, when there's something to say; not on a schedule. If a potential relationship with her will look like this, give it a test run while there's nothing to lose. If she can't keep in touch off and on, how would it be if you were in a relationship?

[upstatedoc]

Have you planted one on her yet?