Buying a house with your SO

[sygazelle]

Originally Posted by BMW F22

Thought about this a year or two ago with some friends but decided not to. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

There are so many factors: Income, area, income tax bracket, projected real estate prices, and more.

If a person cannot afford by him/herself and the option is renting, cobuying can be a good choice IF a proper agreement is prepared and signed. Its certainly not for everybody.

[BMW F22]

Originally Posted by Templar

I'm not reading the whole thread, but I was where you are.

I bought the house myself, with my money and credit, then had my SO move in later. We got married, so it didn't matter much anyway. I knew with her income plus mine, we could split the mortgage and it'd be better financially for both of us, but I loved her then so I let that make my mind up for me. Luckily it worked out and we have a family and all is well.

That being said, I'd only buy a house *with* her (i.e. she's on the mortgage too) if you're going to marry this chick. My sister bought a house with her fiance and wound up getting screwed because they called the wedding off (he turned out to be quite the prick). She bought the house with him, she put more money into it initially, they wound up losing money, just an overall shitty situation. Unless you're positive about this girl, I wouldn't buy the house with her. Just rent a place for now, no rush to buy a home. Or if you really wanna buy a house, buy it yourself.

I'm not in a rush. My goal is to be homeowner by end of next year or early 2018. I agree with you and majority here that unless I'm sure about marriage, I shouldn't do it (or at least have a good contract in place). With that said, it's not like I'm jumping into it next week. Some of my friends have done it and it's worked out so I was curious.

[jtodd_fl]

Originally Posted by zx10guy

A camera?

Since it was an Asian wedding, this moment was captured from 500 different angles.

[Needbmwpartzz]

Originally Posted by sed335i

My wife and I bought our first house before we were even engaged. We both had our names on the title and mortgage in case anything happened, but you have to gauge the relationship. Nobody knows your relationship better than you and your SO, so you have to be honest with yourselves before making this type of commitment.

We knew we were eventually going to get married and decided the time was right to buy a house when we did and we're now married with a baby boy, a dog and on our 2nd home (just moved in last month to a brand new colonial!).

Good luck!

Good advice here.
Everyone has different relationship dynamics and bonds between as well as risk tolerance....there is no doubt many would call you crazy for buying a house with someone after a year in a relationship....but these same people may not be successful at relationships in general themselves.
So this really comes back to you....be objective on the pros-cons.
And if you tend to create successful and long lasting relations....I would lean towards the possibility of a good outcome with your purchase.
If you tend to get into relationships that don't last....I would highly suggest against buying with a partner until the relationship is assuredly stable.
Risks are everywhere....look for them/weight them and govern yourself accordingly.
GL

[radiofrequency]

Originally Posted by wrickem

Are you still together? How long has it been?

We are two years into it (the house) now and got married last August. The lesson I learned from this experience is that having mature and meaningful conversations with respect to finances prior to buying the home and setting expectations make for a better/stronger relationship. My first marriage didn't work that way and ended badly after 23 years.

[wrickem]

Originally Posted by radiofrequency

We are two years into it (the house) now and got married last August. The lesson I learned from this experience is that having mature and meaningful conversations with respect to finances prior to buying the home and setting expectations make for a better/stronger relationship. My first marriage didn't work that way and ended badly after 23 years.

Thanks for the answer. Yours looked to me the most sensible way to do this so I was hoping it worked out for you! Here's to 23 GREAT years with the new one!

[UncleWede]

My middle son just bought a house with his SO in January. They've been together about 18 months, he met her when he moved up to Oregon.

To add to their potential mess, I think they are up to 3 Great Danes. 1 in an apt. didn't work so well (imagine that)

The wife automatically assumed when they bought the house we needed to prepare a wedding. They both say that isn't in the very near future.

[suspenceful]

Originally Posted by Axius

Don't do it unless she is just going to help home shop and you plan on having the mortgage under your name only and can pay for it on your own.

This is what I did last year.

Bought my own house with my own money and credit. I was 23, now 24. My girlfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years now. It's been great for the most part. She pays rent and we both buy things for the house. We're both happy, yay.

[RJ_]

Originally Posted by suspenceful

This is what I did last year.

Bought my own house with my own money and credit. I was 23, now 24. My girlfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years now. It's been great for the most part. She pays rent and we both buy things for the house. We're both happy, yay.

I tried doing this with my SO. Problem was my place is a multi-unit, so my expenses are already "covered" on the property. She was offended and said she wouldn't pay rent.

Fast forward a few months, she's bought her own SFH and wants me to move in with her... and pay her rent.

Maybe I'm just a dick, but this doesn't seem quite fair to me.

[jtodd_fl]

Originally Posted by RJ_

I tried doing this with my SO. Problem was my place is a multi-unit, so my expenses are already "covered" on the property. She was offended and said she wouldn't pay rent.

Fast forward a few months, she's bought her own SFH and wants me to move in with her... and pay her rent.

Maybe I'm just a dick, but this doesn't seem quite fair to me.

How are yours already "covered"? Does the ow era of the multi-unit cover them?

[RJ_]

Originally Posted by jtodd_fl

How are yours already "covered"? Does the ow era of the multi-unit cover them?

I'm the owner, rent from the other unit is just above my expenses, so it doesn't cost me anything out of pocket to live there.

[jtodd_fl]

Originally Posted by RJ_

I'm the owner, rent from the other unit is just above my expenses, so it doesn't cost me anything out of pocket to live there.

So then, YOUR money and investment is what bought the multi-unit (s: I guessed this.) So YOU took the risk, YOU maintain the property. What you should do is jack your own rent up high, pay yourself the rent and make her pay you half. Heh. Yeah man, my rent is like $5000/month. You owe me $2500.

[RJ_]

Originally Posted by jtodd_fl

So then, YOUR money and investment is what bought the multi-unit (s: I guessed this.) So YOU took the risk, YOU maintain the property. What you should do is jack your own rent up high, pay yourself the rent and make her pay you half. Heh. Yeah man, my rent is like $5000/month. You owe me $2500.

This is genius. Wish I would have thought of this myself.

[gtron]

Ha ha... could you fuggin imagine all those babies

Originally Posted by suspenceful

This is what I did last year.

Bought my own house with my own money and credit. I was 23, now 24. My girlfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years now. It's been great for the most part. She pays rent and we both buy things for the house. We're both happy, yay.

Only a few more years to go and she gets to take half your shit w/o even paying any dues.

j/k

or am i?

[gtron]

Originally Posted by RJ_

I tried doing this with my SO. Problem was my place is a multi-unit, so my expenses are already "covered" on the property. She was offended and said she wouldn't pay rent.

Fast forward a few months, she's bought her own SFH and wants me to move in with her... and pay her rent.

Maybe I'm just a dick, but this doesn't seem quite fair to me.

She lived with you and would not pay rent? Then she went house hunting without you, bought a place, and then asked you moving in with her for a fee?

Something is not adding up in my head. If I were serious enough to be living with a SO and house hunting was happening, it would be a decision that we made and executed together. We would also be making plans on what to do about the old place we lived in. like... rent that out to help pay our new mortgage.

Obviously, I'm missing something. Regardless, the shit doesn't work.

Now you both have to sell and find a new place that is both of yours or set each other on fire.

I would choose fire.

[atxgt3]

Originally Posted by RJ_

I tried doing this with my SO. Problem was my place is a multi-unit, so my expenses are already "covered" on the property. She was offended and said she wouldn't pay rent.

Fast forward a few months, she's bought her own SFH and wants me to move in with her... and pay her rent.

Maybe I'm just a dick, but this doesn't seem quite fair to me.

Don't you mean your EX SO? I really hope you do.

[suspenceful]

Originally Posted by gtron

Only a few more years to go and she gets to take half your shit w/o even paying any dues.

j/k

or am i?

Lol, she'd have to put some effort into it. Her name is on nothing. My name is on everything. Obviously this is hypothetical, but shit happens.

Things between us have been going great for a long time. I'm sure we'll get married and have kids eventually, but neither of us want that yet. My goal is to sell the house in 4 years and get something together where we can raise our kids.

[RJ_]

Originally Posted by gtron

She lived with you and would not pay rent? Then she went house hunting without you, bought a place, and then asked you moving in with her for a fee?

Something is not adding up in my head. If I were serious enough to be living with a SO and house hunting was happening, it would be a decision that we made and executed together. We would also be making plans on what to do about the old place we lived in. like... rent that out to help pay our new mortgage.

Obviously, I'm missing something. Regardless, the shit doesn't work.

Now you both have to sell and find a new place that is both of yours or set each other on fire.

I would choose fire.

We've not lived together. Originally she was planning to move in with me, but due to it being an investment property in a not so nice area, it seemed best to look elsewhere for a place since I planned to move on and buy another property in the near future.
It was at this point in the discussion where the talk of rent came up.

Anyway, she was really looking for a place to call home and not one of my crappy rentals. Like OP asked, she initially wanted to buy it together, but I declined. So i helped her house hunt and pick out a place that could potentially be "ours" someday, but currently it's only hers. So when talking of moving in together now, she expects me to pay her rent, which I think is reasonable, except that when it was the other way around she thought it was crazy of me to expect that.

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by TheAxiom

Are you married? Then yes.


If you're not, then no.

Originally Posted by ASBSECU E93

^this.

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