Women's congruence tests... and how to pass them?

[D_o_S]

Thanks everyone for the input.

In brief, I believe I was asking on advice if I should or shouldn't talk to her... (see, even I don't want to read my original post now >_< :P ) and if, how. But this has turned into a "relationship advice thread", not that I mind honestly...

Uh, well, I sort of don't know where to continue in response to all the replies. On the one hand, 99% people here are telling me to run away. Fine. But then, how many truly happy relationships have you all seen?

Me, in my lifetime, maybe one??? And at this moment, I fail to remember which one it was.

There is always some niggle, some point for dispute, some wish that the other person was different... And yes, arguments are normal in relationships, I'm not pointing to that... but rather, when you ask people: "If you could erase everything and start again, would you be with this person?". I think many times the response would be "no"

Sex is an issue, definitely. But it's not the sole reason for a relationship... I believe a relationship should be centered on different values, love, respect, admiration for example. If would not dump my partner because they are sick, or because they want to go on a trip around the world. No, I would be supportive. And, at moments like those "no sex" would be the last void I would be looking to fill.

Maybe I don't love myself enough. Could be. I have pondered it a few times. But, at the end of the day, I will not speak to her for my sake, but for hers.

I wish her the best, that's all. If she can make me happy, great. If she wants to change her attitudes and is going to feel good about it, I'll be happy that she took something from me. If she decides to leave me and be happy with someone else, and built up thanks to my feedback and love, great! Honestly.

Lastly, I am not going to quit on her due to a misunderstanding, and more importantly, without giving her a chance to correct her behaviors. People I love deserve a fair chance, and without providing my feedback, I am not giving a fair chance. I would like to be treated similarly.

[G35POPPEDMYCHERRY]

[G35POPPEDMYCHERRY]

Originally Posted by D_o_S

Thanks everyone for the input.

In brief, I believe I was asking on advice if I should or shouldn't talk to her... (see, even I don't want to read my original post now >_< :P ) and if, how. But this has turned into a "relationship advice thread", not that I mind honestly...

Uh, well, I sort of don't know where to continue in response to all the replies. On the one hand, 99% people here are telling me to run away. Fine. But then, how many truly happy relationships have you all seen?

Me, in my lifetime, maybe one??? And at this moment, I fail to remember which one it was.

There is always some niggle, some point for dispute, some wish that the other person was different... And yes, arguments are normal in relationships, I'm not pointing to that... but rather, when you ask people: "If you could erase everything and start again, would you be with this person?". I think many times the response would be "no"

Sex is an issue, definitely. But it's not the sole reason for a relationship... I believe a relationship should be centered on different values, love, respect, admiration for example. If would not dump my partner because they are sick, or because they want to go on a trip around the world. No, I would be supportive. And, at moments like those "no sex" would be the last void I would be looking to fill.

Maybe I don't love myself enough. Could be. I have pondered it a few times. But, at the end of the day, I will not speak to her for my sake, but for hers.

I wish her the best, that's all. If she can make me happy, great. If she wants to change her attitudes and is going to feel good about it, I'll be happy that she took something from me. If she decides to leave me and be happy with someone else, and built up thanks to my feedback and love, great! Honestly.

Lastly, I am not going to quit on her due to a misunderstanding, and more importantly, without giving her a chance to correct her behaviors. People I love deserve a fair chance, and without providing my feedback, I am not giving a fair chance. I would like to be treated similarly.

bro but sex is either there or it isn't. trust me desire is like a flame you can't ignite down the road. either its there and its flames out, but it never somehow starts. you deserve better


also had to edit: man all this giving a chance and shit is rough. my parents were arranged and somehow are still together. Idk what kind of ideas of companionship or marriage you have but the world is very fickle today. I try mirror my parents as well and always give a chance and stick it out. But people will leave at the drop of the dime nowadays and you will be left picking up all the pieces.

[wtwo3]

Originally Posted by D_o_S

Sex is an issue, definitely. But it's not the sole reason for a relationship... I believe a relationship should be centered on different values, love, respect, admiration for example. If would not dump my partner because they are sick, or because they want to go on a trip around the world. No, I would be supportive. And, at moments like those "no sex" would be the last void I would be looking to fill.

Or in your case.... it's not part of the relationship AT ALL.

You also can't compare the examples you've given, which are predicated on an already successful relationship, to what you have, which is very one-sided. She is not your partner. And unless you're saying she's sick, which you've given no indication of, nor that there are any religious constraints holding her back here, the only conclusion we can come to is that she's using you for attention and you're at-best in the friendzone.

You sound like a textbook simp.

[D_o_S]

Originally Posted by G35POPPEDMYCHERRY

bro but sex is either there or it isn't. trust me desire is like a flame you can't ignite down the road. either its there and its flames out, but it never somehow starts. you deserve better


also had to edit: man all this giving a chance and shit is rough. my parents were arranged and somehow are still together. Idk what kind of ideas of companionship or marriage you have but the world is very fickle today. I try mirror my parents as well and always give a chance and stick it out. But people will leave at the drop of the dime nowadays and you will be left picking up all the pieces.

Yep, but I would rather be the one picking up the pieces and able to look myself in the mirror... than not.

[goduke0386]

Is this the same girl from your She complains alot thread? If not it sounds like you have a problem choosing a partner and some real reflection is needed on a personal level because you're clearly drawn to shitty people.

[DETRoadster]

Again, what level of intimacy have you reached with her? No, sex is not everything but in this case we are using it as a proxy for determining her level of commitment to you. And based on what you've told us, all signs point to her happily using you for companionship and nothing more. You also sound like you're beat down and insecure enough to be OK with that. To each his own man. If you are truly ok with that, happy, and that's enough for you then have at it.

You've got 5 pages of responses here and not a single one says "hey she sounds like a winner."
Think about that. Lots of people here across multiple generations, men and women, all telling you the same thing.

Ignore the posts telling you to treat women like shit. But you do need to have an honest convo with yourself and stand up for what you need and what makes you happy. I see you making a ton of excuses for her and for yourself. I just don't get the sense you are happy or have the self respect to correct that. So you're stuck in a trap of your own making until YOU decide your deserve better.

[rebekahb]

Typically, when you are dating someone the fire, attraction and passion make it hard for you to keep your hands off each other. Not everyone has to have sex right away but if there is nothing passionate going on at all it's a 100% friend zone.

[upstatedoc]

^^ OP if you're not gonna listen to the Bros on this thread, at least listen to the wimmins

[Darth One]

You've also now gotten the whole forum invested in whether you get laid, so you better close the deal mofo!

[No one]

Originally Posted by D_o_S

as I have mentioned, she is the most reliable and honest woman I have been with. What I mean to say is: she never misses a call (almost always answers, and if not, calls back when appropriate). Literally, 0 calls unanswered. She almost never cancels dates, i.e. maybe one or two cancelled times we were to see each other out of 30+ in 6 months. She never says "no" when I want to see her. She invites me to spend time with her as appropriate. She initiates calls as appropriate. She is interested to hear how I am, what I am up to from time to time.

She spends her free time with me, I see her maybe once/twice a week and "every weekend" (maybe one weekend we haven't seen each other in 6 months). She spends her free time with me (i.e. takes time off and we go on a week long roadtrip).

And so I ask myself, if you're going to be with a person, you can't just have sunny days, right? I mean, I am much happier if she answers the phone everytime and says "What a bad day I've had, the sky is falling", rather than not pick up and ghost me for a day or two, and then come back all sunny and optimistic.

...

So, all in all I think we have quite a tight relationship because I lead her into seeing each other, and she follows. Out of all the people I know of that she is with (female and male) she has one female friend she hangs out with regularly and has done so for years. From what I have seen, she does not hang out with anyone else as much as me, and "almost certainly" does not hang out with anyone but me when she is tired and not feeling to be "herself".

Well, this just made me wonder what her occupation might be (a secretary? ). Now it looks like it might include a lot of banging. "What a bad day I've had, the sky is falling" would be "What a gangbang I've had, my cunt is falling apart" in this context.

Originally Posted by D_o_S

rather than not pick up and ghost me for a day or two, and then come back all sunny and optimistic.

This is when they "recharge" with someone else.

Originally Posted by DETRoadster

2) She's hyper religious and is holding out for marriage to have sex.

He didn't mention marriage was on the agenda. Or she/they went to a church. I can't remember what the movie is called... A guy told his friends he'd met probably a virgin. Then on a peep show there she is, performing. A friend: "What's wrong? Is this the one you thought of as a virgin? She'll do anything you want for 20$!".

[armo]

stop putting the p*ssy on a pedestal.

So what you just got to do is..just get you a bunch of hood rats
run through them, just knock them out.

Boom, boom, boom. And once you've done slayed like 20 or 30 of them hood rats...now you ready to go up to the upper echelon type ho.


ps. Vito Corleone is rolling in his grave right now

[King_Leonard]

Originally Posted by D_o_S

Thanks everyone for the input.

In brief, I believe I was asking on advice if I should or shouldn't talk to her... (see, even I don't want to read my original post now >_< :P ) and if, how. But this has turned into a "relationship advice thread", not that I mind honestly...

Uh, well, I sort of don't know where to continue in response to all the replies. On the one hand, 99% people here are telling me to run away. Fine. But then, how many truly happy relationships have you all seen?

Me, in my lifetime, maybe one??? And at this moment, I fail to remember which one it was.

There is always some niggle, some point for dispute, some wish that the other person was different... And yes, arguments are normal in relationships, I'm not pointing to that... but rather, when you ask people: "If you could erase everything and start again, would you be with this person?". I think many times the response would be "no"

Sex is an issue, definitely. But it's not the sole reason for a relationship... I believe a relationship should be centered on different values, love, respect, admiration for example. If would not dump my partner because they are sick, or because they want to go on a trip around the world. No, I would be supportive. And, at moments like those "no sex" would be the last void I would be looking to fill.

Maybe I don't love myself enough. Could be. I have pondered it a few times. But, at the end of the day, I will not speak to her for my sake, but for hers.

I wish her the best, that's all. If she can make me happy, great. If she wants to change her attitudes and is going to feel good about it, I'll be happy that she took something from me. If she decides to leave me and be happy with someone else, and built up thanks to my feedback and love, great! Honestly.

Lastly, I am not going to quit on her due to a misunderstanding, and more importantly, without giving her a chance to correct her behaviors. People I love deserve a fair chance, and without providing my feedback, I am not giving a fair chance. I would like to be treated similarly.

You sound like a Japanese anime version of The Little Prince. I think Dr. Jordan Peterson might be able to help you.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by armo

stop putting the p*ssy on a pedestal.

So what you just got to do is..just get you a bunch of hood rats
run through them, just knock them out.

Boom, boom, boom. And once you've done slayed like 20 or 30 of them hood rats...now you ready to go up to the upper echelon type ho.


ps. Vito Corleone is rolling in his grave right now

[upstatedoc]

Originally Posted by goduke0386

Is this the same girl from your She complains alot thread? If not it sounds like you have a problem choosing a partner and some real reflection is needed on a personal level because you're clearly drawn to shitty people.

I vaguely remember that. Can't find the thread.

[D_o_S]

That thread is here: https://www.e90post.com/forums/showt...php?p=26818628

Guess I need to explore my inner realms a bit more...

[DETRoadster]

Originally Posted by D_o_S

That thread is here: https://www.e90post.com/forums/showt...php?p=26818628

Guess I need to explore my inner realms a bit more...

OMG, is this all the same woman? Jane? More like Karen.

You need to walk away from this toxic person.

[dreamingat30fps]

Originally Posted by D_o_S

That thread is here: https://www.e90post.com/forums/showt...php?p=26818628

Guess I need to explore my inner realms a bit more...

Ya’ll getting trolled. In this thread he says it's 6 months. He posted that other post freaking Oct 2020, that’s over a year ago and in that post he says he’s been “close” (whatever that means) to this woman for over a year. So it was already a year or more in 2020. So that means it would have actually been over 2 years by now. Either he’s a troll or he’s waaaaaaaaay beyond any help. The end.

[Killramos]

No one is asking the real question here…

Does she have any hot friends? A younger sister?

[SickGTR]

He needs to show his arms in a pick:-). 1 is WAY bigger than the other. Heyooooooo💪🏼💪🏼

[heitzke]

Late to all of this and didn't read some of the middle pages but ultimately:

You deserve to be treated better, even if you don't think you do. No one has the right to come out and address or talk about your body, how you look or what changes you're trying to make without permission.

Nothing wrong with being friend-zoned, but I expect the same level of honest and respectful communication with real friends. This doesn't sound like a misunderstanding as much as it sounds like a lack of respect, boundaries and the ability to communicate in a healthy manner.

[tranquility]

Originally Posted by dreamingat30fps

Ya’ll getting trolled. In this thread he says it's 6 months. He posted that other post freaking Oct 2020, that’s over a year ago and in that post he says he’s been “close” (whatever that means) to this woman for over a year. So it was already a year or more in 2020. So that means it would have actually been over 2 years by now. Either he’s a troll or he’s waaaaaaaaay beyond any help. The end.

I didn't wanna be mean but you have pt, either that or he's a dreaded 5-letter I word. Who writes verbose ramblings like that, like trying to solve some mathematical equation when we're talking about human relationships here? Something's off and some srs introspection is indeed needed, and I'm trying to say that in the least offensive way if he's really not trolling.