Confess here

[wtwo3]

Originally Posted by rebekahb

Just wait until that $10k Disney trip. We might have to talk you off the ledge

Raising kids is hard. It ebbs and flows. It's ok not to love it. Maybe you just don't love the young stage. It might change as they get older. You're definitely not a psychopath, just honest.

Thanks... I do think I'll enjoy it more once they're older... hopefully.

Ugh the Disney trip... I reached out to one of those Disney planners and they put together a pretty decent looking itinerary for about $7k... but thats obviously not including flights and food. At least it won't be crazy like some were suggesting.

[Dang3r]

Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle

post-clean photos; will go in 2 weeks for their machine polishing class. how awesome you can rent a polisher at a rental detailing bay?

Wait, is that an ugly a$$ 3 series? I confess that I am by far the greatest 3 series hater, sorry for you

[UncleWede]

Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle

spent 3 hours cleaning the car today, only realized it was 3 hours when i grabbed my phone to take some after photos.

So, a basic wash, maybe even cleaned the windows???

I don't care what ANYONE tells you, you do not put wax/LSP on with anything other than your bare hand, caressing your baby's smooth bare paint with a loving touch . . .


BRB

[CamasM3e93]

Originally Posted by wtwo3

They told me I would love kids and my whole mentality would change once I had my own.

I still don't like kids (in general.... I'm cool with my own kids, but gawddamnn do they test the limits of my patience) and my mentality is the same. I think back fondly to a life before kids. The quality of vacations has dropped off the side of a cliff from before kids vs. after. I can't even take a dump in peace.

Am I just a psychopath?

Definitely not a psychopath but I think you meant sociopath but you aren't that either. Having kids creates tremendous life change and much of it isn't fun. Throw on unrealistic societal expectations that of course you're going to love parenthood and it's a real setup for dissatisfaction. I felt similarly earlier in my own journey but am finding the middle years of my kid's childhood more rewarding. Doesn't mean I don't love my child, either. I just wasn't all that keen on the challenges and tumult of early parenting. I think the change for me came as my daughter became more independent and I was able to get some of my own time back.

You don't hate parenting, you just aren't fond of it in it's current form TODAY and it's going to change from here for sure.

[JMcLellan]

Originally Posted by Mbwny

Just turned 40. Copped an M8. Literally the definition of midlife crisis and I love every second of it.

Yes! I can relate. Picked up my M240i within a month of turning 40. I know not in the same class or convo as an M8, but I was the first to tell friends and family that the car was my midlife crisis purchase.

[wtwo3]

Originally Posted by CamasM3e93

Definitely not a psychopath but I think you meant sociopath but you aren't that either. Having kids creates tremendous life change and much of it isn't fun. Throw on unrealistic societal expectations that of course you're going to love parenthood and it's a real setup for dissatisfaction. I felt similarly earlier in my own journey but am finding the middle years of my kid's childhood more rewarding. Doesn't mean I don't love my child, either. I just wasn't all that keen on the challenges and tumult of early parenting. I think the change for me came as my daughter became more independent and I was able to get some of my own time back.

You don't hate parenting, you just aren't fond of it in it's current form TODAY and it's going to change from here for sure.

Thanks for this - this gives me hope. And I totally feel the societal pressures. It's like any mention of me not enjoying parenthood is met with responses indicating I'm some sort of a jerk or a bad parent.

I think my kids being more independent and giving me some of my own time back will be the turning point as you said. Right now it's little things that just crush my soul... simple things like going out to eat being a pleasurable activity again as opposed to a completely stressful experience. Or even coming back home after an evening out where all I want to do is change and plop down in bed - but instead have to go through a bedtime routine for 2 kids. I can probably count on one hand the number of nights where I've had a good, uninterrupted night's sleep - despite professional sleep training help.

I always "joke" (but I'm serious) about how I can't wait till my daughter is 12 and my son is 8. But I do feel the new challenges that brings, I'll be better able to work with as a result of better ability to connect with my kids, and their own independence giving me my time back.

[Alfisti]

Modern women have ruined parenting, there I said it. They're so fucking neurotic that it has turned parenting into a 24/7 ordeal. i realise one needs to commit to one's kids and do your best to raise healthy, happy and well adjusted people but fuck me dead the fussing we do over them. Here is a short-list of the bullshit we deal with today that never happened in the past;

- Asking kids instead of telling them.... and then wondering why they don't listen

- Trying to deal with a 2 year old like it's a fucking negotiation with an adult

- 24/7 child care from both parents in the name of equality. To be frank ladies, if I am working i need to sleep, especially if when I get home I need to be ready to take the child off of you so you get a breather, i can't do that on 3 hrs sleep and he is gonna need you overnight to feed him regardless so why am i awake to fluff your pillow? Divide and conquer people, divide and conquer, this is why it feels so overwhelming, by being joined at the hip we have turned 2 parents into 1.25.

- This whole taking kids on city vacations etc, WTF are you doing? Is there a beach? Are there thrill rides? No? Then don't fucking take them because they get bored. Best vacation we have had in 10 years was when we dumped the kids on the sister in law and buggered off to southern france for a week (we then returned the favour).

- "It's all about the children" ...... so the marriage is put t the side completely and both parties resent it

- Bratty, spoilt kids because parenting style has no consequences

- Helicoptering, shadowing, fear fo dirt and mud.... jesus let the little fucker breathe and make mistakes. Don't be an idiot, strap them in to a good car seat etc but christ on a bike the coddling.

I could keep going, god i hate what my generation (X) has done to parenting, bunch of fucking muppets i swear.

[Alfisti]

Originally Posted by wtwo3

I always "joke" (but I'm serious) about how I can't wait till my daughter is 12 and my son is 8. But I do feel the new challenges that brings, I'll be better able to work with as a result of better ability to connect with my kids, and their own independence giving me my time back.

Mine are 10 and 6 and indeed it is 1000 times better than 5 and 1. They talk, they eat, they play sports, they wrestle, they go to school, they have friends..... it's not easy but laughably easier than 5 and 1.

[Esteban]

wtwo3, I'm sorry if I made you feel like a "jerk or a bad parent." If you were speaking about me that certainly wasn't my intention.

Being a dad was something I knew I wanted before I had kids. Not everybody feels the way I do about it. Kind of a calling for me. From age zero to the present, love everything about it. Not always easy but my heart is always in it.

If you're not liking part of it I think that's perfectly normal. It can be a struggle sometimes. Again, did not mean to make you feel like you are doing anything wrong.

[wtwo3]

Originally Posted by Esteban

wtwo3, I'm sorry if I made you feel like a "jerk or a bad parent." If you were speaking about me that certainly wasn't my intention.

Being a dad was something I knew I wanted before I had kids. Not everybody feels the way I do about it. Kind of a calling for me. From age zero to the present, love everything about it. Not always easy but my heart is always in it.

If you're not liking part of it I think that's perfectly normal. It can be a struggle sometimes. Again, did not mean to make you feel like you are doing anything wrong.

Oh no not all all... that comment wasn't directed at you at all. It was directed to the frowns or odd looks I get in person from people (family/friends even) when I explain that I'm not too thrilled about this whole parent thing.

[Esteban]

Originally Posted by wtwo3

Oh no not all all... that comment wasn't directed at you at all. It was directed to the frowns or odd looks I get in person from people (family/friends even) when I explain that I'm not too thrilled about this whole parent thing.

If you still have the receipt maybe the stork will accept a return.

[Darth One]

So old do you have to be, or how shitty should your current job be, to create an account on the Social Security Administration and see if your benefit is enough to tell your boss and the world to fuck off?




Spoiler: it's not enough

[wtwo3]

Originally Posted by Alfisti

Modern women have ruined parenting, there I said it. They're so fucking neurotic that it has turned parenting into a 24/7 ordeal. i realise one needs to commit to one's kids and do your best to raise healthy, happy and well adjusted people but fuck me dead the fussing we do over them. Here is a short-list of the bullshit we deal with today that never happened in the past;

- Asking kids instead of telling them.... and then wondering why they don't listen

- Trying to deal with a 2 year old like it's a fucking negotiation with an adult

- 24/7 child care from both parents in the name of equality. To be frank ladies, if I am working i need to sleep, especially if when I get home I need to be ready to take the child off of you so you get a breather, i can't do that on 3 hrs sleep and he is gonna need you overnight to feed him regardless so why am i awake to fluff your pillow? Divide and conquer people, divide and conquer, this is why it feels so overwhelming, by being joined at the hip we have turned 2 parents into 1.25.

- This whole taking kids on city vacations etc, WTF are you doing? Is there a beach? Are there thrill rides? No? Then don't fucking take them because they get bored. Best vacation we have had in 10 years was when we dumped the kids on the sister in law and buggered off to southern france for a week (we then returned the favour).

- "It's all about the children" ...... so the marriage is put t the side completely and both parties resent it

- Bratty, spoilt kids because parenting style has no consequences

- Helicoptering, shadowing, fear fo dirt and mud.... jesus let the little fucker breathe and make mistakes. Don't be an idiot, strap them in to a good car seat etc but christ on a bike the coddling.

I could keep going, god i hate what my generation (X) has done to parenting, bunch of fucking muppets i swear.

I can't really blame women At least in my situation my wife has a great career as a physician and pretty much makes as much as I do. So we definitely have to split duties (except she works many weekends so I end up managing both kids on my own on those days).

But in terms of parenting... I agree... I see many of our friends and their parenting styles of basically bending backwards for their kids and it makes me sick. God forbid their child feel even a microscopic hint of discomfort in their life.

[wtwo3]

Originally Posted by Darth One

So old do you have to be, or how shitty should your current job be, to create an account on the Social Security Administration and see if your benefit is enough to tell your boss and the world to fuck off?




Spoiler: it's not enough

If we're getting technical about it.. 62 years old?

[Esteban]

Originally Posted by wtwo3

I can't really blame women At least in my situation my wife has a great career as a physician and pretty much makes as much as I do. So we definitely have to split duties (except she works many weekends so I end up managing both kids on my own on those days).

But in terms of parenting... I agree... I see many of our friends and their parenting styles of basically bending backwards for their kids and it makes me sick. God forbid their child feel even a microscopic hint of discomfort in their life.

Agree, that's actually bad parenting. They have to learn to stand on their own two feet.

[OkieSnuffBox]

Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle

post-clean photos; will go in 2 weeks for their machine polishing class. how awesome you can rent a polisher at a rental detailing bay?

Braver than I am (regarding taking a polisher to my pretty new BMW when I don't know what I'm doing, even with pros there). You want to make the car SUPER easy to keep clean?

Take it to a pro, let them clay it, polish it, and give it a couple of coats of REAL ceramic coating........not that fake "ceramic wax" garbage you see Griot's sell. For the next 3-5 years, you can literally pull through a self-service car wash, spray it off and it will be fresh and clean again.

I just dropped my '23 BRZ off for that today. It's only got 45 miles on it and lives in a garage and won't be driven often.

[Sedan_Clan]

Originally Posted by Alfisti

Modern women have ruined parenting, there I said it. They're so fucking neurotic that it has turned parenting into a 24/7 ordeal. i realise one needs to commit to one's kids and do your best to raise healthy, happy and well adjusted people but fuck me dead the fussing we do over them. Here is a short-list of the bullshit we deal with today that never happened in the past;

- Asking kids instead of telling them.... and then wondering why they don't listen

- Trying to deal with a 2 year old like it's a fucking negotiation with an adult

- 24/7 child care from both parents in the name of equality. To be frank ladies, if I am working i need to sleep, especially if when I get home I need to be ready to take the child off of you so you get a breather, i can't do that on 3 hrs sleep and he is gonna need you overnight to feed him regardless so why am i awake to fluff your pillow? Divide and conquer people, divide and conquer, this is why it feels so overwhelming, by being joined at the hip we have turned 2 parents into 1.25.

- This whole taking kids on city vacations etc, WTF are you doing? Is there a beach? Are there thrill rides? No? Then don't fucking take them because they get bored. Best vacation we have had in 10 years was when we dumped the kids on the sister in law and buggered off to southern france for a week (we then returned the favour).

- "It's all about the children" ...... so the marriage is put t the side completely and both parties resent it

- Bratty, spoilt kids because parenting style has no consequences

- Helicoptering, shadowing, fear fo dirt and mud.... jesus let the little fucker breathe and make mistakes. Don't be an idiot, strap them in to a good car seat etc but christ on a bike the coddling.

I could keep going, god i hate what my generation (X) has done to parenting, bunch of fucking muppets i swear.

You're not wrong! I don't have kids, but I deal with everybody else's kids. The parenting is the issue, and after their parenting fails…..


….just call the cops and let them parent for you (…all while dealing with people's sensitivity in this soft ass world where telling a parent to "parent better" is considered unprofessional in the eyes of some and easily triggers the parent).

[Dang3r]

Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan

….just call the cops and let them parent for you (…all while dealing with people's sensitivity in this soft ass world where telling a parent to "parent better" is considered unprofessional in the eyes of some and easily triggers the parent).

Or send them to boot camp and let them chew full metal jackets, Private Paula will take care of them

[Alfisti]

Originally Posted by wtwo3

I can't really blame women At least in my situation my wife has a great career as a physician and pretty much makes as much as I do. So we definitely have to split duties (except she works many weekends so I end up managing both kids on my own on those days).

To clarify, I don't think parenting is the woman's problem and we should just work. I took 3 months paternity leave for both kids for example and my mrs makes double what I do so yeah we need to share the load. It's the joined at the hip, duplication of duties that kills me. The sympathy wake ups when she's on mat leave and I was working was insane, i'd return home at 530pm absolutely gassed and she is completely disheveled, i SHOULD be taking the child off of her and letting her run a bath and chill but I am just as gassed because i didn't sleep.

It's such poor use of you resources.


More broadly speaking it's the asking that does my head in, "Jnr would you like to go to the park"...... try "jnr we are going to the park, shoes on mate".

It's like night and day and option 1 leads to indecision, delays and general fuckwittery.

[Darth One]

I confess to being very excited about making my contribution to naming this mission.

https://twitter.com/nycsouthpaw/stat...0&ref_url=

[wtwo3]

Originally Posted by Darth One

I confess to being very excited about making my contribution to naming this mission.

https://twitter.com/nycsouthpaw/stat...1_c10&ref_url=

What was your contribution?

[Sedan_Clan]

I confess that this isn't bad…..