Dating - Good/Bad Experiences

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by FuzzyPeaches

I still have several pages to go in this thread, as it has blown up in the last few days (I blame the arrival of 2 women ), but I have some new questions about a situation that I would love to run by some of you, more experienced, folks about a situation with a woman at work. Feel free to PM me if you're willing to talk... or pester me to put it out in public... either way.

Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle

Don't dip your pen in company ink

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

This.

Originally Posted by Dang3r

+1

Originally Posted by Lady Jane

I never heard that one before. It's similar to my " Don't fish off the company's pier."


Attachment 2522724

Originally Posted by dinonz

Don't screw the crew is another.

FuzzyPeaches, the council has spoken. Don't do it. Disaster awaits.

[Dang3r]

Originally Posted by Lady Jane

I'm afraid I broke that rule...I had a long term relationship with a young pilot in Germany while I was under contract with the military as a civilian nurse looking after the dependents. A story for another time.

[x] Young pilot years ago
[x] Germany
[o] Relationship into same company

So that couldnt be me

[Sara]

Good morning all

[longm1985]

Originally Posted by Sara504

What's the worst tinder/bumble/hinge date you've ever been on?

I haven't been on many, but the first one was awful. I had mentioned my wife and I being poly and asked if it was ok with her blah blah before agreeing to meet up. Well, when we met up, she proceeded to scold me about how YOU'RE CHEATING ON YOUR WIFE YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED YOU'RE A BAD PERSON... It was a trap, I think. We hadn't ordered anything, and I just got up and left.

[King Rudi]

Ladies, I may need some advice soon. Hell landed at casa del rey yesterday. I spent my weekend working on the girlfriends house. In return she was going to help me clean mine. (Back story: I'm anal and keep a clean home. It stresses me for it to be messy. With the lifestyle I live I have very little time to get everything done, I rarely have time to sleep.) Long story short, her stuff got done, mine did not. I mentioned that it hurt my feelings that she could stand there and watch me clean but not jump in and help. This was a green light for her to go ballistic, interrupt me and never even really let me finish what I was trying to say. She ended up leaving, came back, left again, came back again and left me with my garage door opener. It seems that her personal responsibilities are more important than mine or spending time with me. I get that people should handle their business first, and I expect that; but it seems that her "stuff" never gets done and now it's taking precedence over spending time with me. We finally got a chance to talk and have decided to try to work things out. Problem is now I'm of the mindset of do I want to continue to do this? Almost 5 year invested, but this is the 4th time she has broken up with me over trivial shit in 5 months. I'd much rather be with someone who can verbally discuss problems and work past them willingly versus going the break up route right off the bat.

Originally Posted by Lady Jane

One of them is a real clown ( Perfect date for King Rudi came to mind )

Do tell.....

Also curious as to what a date rater is.

[Sara]

Originally Posted by Lady Jane

Curiosity killed the cat but since you asked...Tee hee hee...


Attachment 2524111

HA! Need a ruler for length, too No one likes a chode.

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by Sara504

HA! Need a ruler for length, too No one likes a chode.

I was gonna say, that device seems to measure only one side of the scale.

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by Lady Jane

Curiosity killed the cat but since you asked...Tee hee hee...


Attachment 2524111

Originally Posted by Sara504

HA! Need a ruler for length, too No one likes a chode.

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

I was gonna say, that device seems to measure only one side of the scale.

Foundational societal questions:

Which came first...the chicken or the egg?

Which is more important...Girth or Length?

Did Epstein really kill himself?

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by longm1985

I haven't been on many, but the first one was awful. I had mentioned my wife and I being poly and asked if it was ok with her blah blah before agreeing to meet up. Well, when we met up, she proceeded to scold me about how YOU'RE CHEATING ON YOUR WIFE YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED YOU'RE A BAD PERSON... It was a trap, I think. We hadn't ordered anything, and I just got up and left.

I'm curious - can't say I agree with the lifestyle either, but that aside, do you bring these other people home or always go to their place? Specifically, just wondering whether the 9 year old you have knows what is going on and affecting him / her? Wouldn't it be odd from a kid's point of view? I don't know - maybe they just think there are a lot of friends over all the time for breakfast and that.

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by MKSixer

Foundational societal questions:

Which came first...the chicken or the egg?

The chicken. Genesis 1:20-25

Originally Posted by MKSixer

Which is more important...Girth or Length?

Neither - it's "girngth". Which is an amalgamation of the two.

Originally Posted by MKSixer

Did Epstein really kill himself?

Yes, indirectly through his actions of keeping records. But also no, he didn't directly / physically kill himself.

[rebekahb]

[QUOTE=King Rudi;27209670]Ladies, I may need some advice soon. Hell landed at casa del rey yesterday. I spent my weekend working on the girlfriends house. In return she was going to help me clean mine. (Back story: I'm anal and keep a clean home. It stresses me for it to be messy. With the lifestyle I live I have very little time to get everything done, I rarely have time to sleep.) Long story short, her stuff got done, mine did not. I mentioned that it hurt my feelings that [COLOR="Blue"]she could stand there and watch me clean but not jump in and help. [/COLOR] This was a green light for her to go ballistic, interrupt me and never even really let me finish what I was trying to say. She ended up leaving, came back, left again, came back again and left me with my garage door opener. It seems that her personal responsibilities are more important than mine or spending time with me. I get that people should handle their business first, and I expect that; but it seems that her "stuff" never gets done and now it's taking precedence over spending time with me. We finally got a chance to talk and have decided to try to work things out. Problem is now I'm of the mindset of do I want to continue to do this? Almost 5 year invested, but this is the 4th time she has broken up with me over trivial shit in 5 months. I'd much rather be with someone who can verbally discuss problems and work past them willingly versus going the break up route right off the bat.

The sentence I bolded, was this when you were cleaning your home after you had helped with hers? I want to make sure I have it straight before I respond.

[rebekahb]

Originally Posted by Lady Jane

Curiosity killed the cat but since you asked...Tee hee hee...


Attachment 2524111

It doesn't matter how big, small, long or short. If you don't know how to use it.......

[JP10]

Originally Posted by King Rudi

Ladies, I may need some advice soon. Hell landed at casa del rey yesterday. I spent my weekend working on the girlfriends house. In return she was going to help me clean mine. (Back story: I'm anal and keep a clean home. It stresses me for it to be messy. With the lifestyle I live I have very little time to get everything done, I rarely have time to sleep.) Long story short, her stuff got done, mine did not. I mentioned that it hurt my feelings that she could stand there and watch me clean but not jump in and help. This was a green light for her to go ballistic, interrupt me and never even really let me finish what I was trying to say. She ended up leaving, came back, left again, came back again and left me with my garage door opener. It seems that her personal responsibilities are more important than mine or spending time with me. I get that people should handle their business first, and I expect that; but it seems that her "stuff" never gets done and now it's taking precedence over spending time with me. We finally got a chance to talk and have decided to try to work things out. Problem is now I'm of the mindset of do I want to continue to do this? Almost 5 year invested, but this is the 4th time she has broken up with me over trivial shit in 5 months. I'd much rather be with someone who can verbally discuss problems and work past them willingly versus going the break up route right off the bat.




Do tell.....

Also curious as to what a date rater is.

Not one of the ladies, but I'll still give my opinion haha.

I say bail based on the bold. Obviously easier said then done based on the amount of time spent together. I don't play the whole interrupt me, get pissed, and leave game - not like you're children or anything. I think the last time you guys broke up she got a new job or was dealing was some stressful event? Seems like she is always a little tense though. Breaking up with you that many times seems to me that she is taking you for granted. This again doesn't bode well for me in regards to how people should be treated. As always, goodluck man

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by JP10

Not one of the ladies, but I'll still give my opinion haha.

I say bail based on the bold. Obviously easier said then done based on the amount of time spent together. I don't play the whole interrupt me, get pissed, and leave game - not like you're children or anything. I think the last time you guys broke up she got a new job or was dealing was some stressful event? Seems like she is always a little tense though. Breaking up with you that many times seems to me that she is taking you for granted. This again doesn't bode well for me in regards to how people should be treated. As always, goodluck man

I'll have to echo this. Stressful situations happen, but usually people who deal with stress a certain way will always deal with it that same way unless major changes are made. Life is stressful, and you can't treat people like shit consistently because of it.

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by Lady Jane

We have some metric ones in Canada. When the guy promises you eight for tonight, you know it's in centimeters.

Attachment 2524241

Mein11 is gonna be so pissed that you are giving away his secrets to the Americans. I mean, he's not Canadian, but he's spent time here and this metric system was working to his advantage.

Although I think he was promising them nein...ahem, nine. Nine-11. It's why he picked the car he did.

[cmyx6go]

King Rudi I'm not going to trash her here and say what I really feel. Her recent behavior on top of some of the old stuff I remember says it's time for you to go. You bend over backwards for her. Rule 1 in my book is you treat other people the way you want to be treated. She obviously doesn't get that. It's not going to get better, as what you allow continues. By staying, you're allowing it. And you don't need the drama.

[King Rudi]

[QUOTE=rebekahb;27210234]

Originally Posted by King Rudi

Ladies, I may need some advice soon. Hell landed at casa del rey yesterday. I spent my weekend working on the girlfriends house. In return she was going to help me clean mine. (Back story: I'm anal and keep a clean home. It stresses me for it to be messy. With the lifestyle I live I have very little time to get everything done, I rarely have time to sleep.) Long story short, her stuff got done, mine did not. I mentioned that it hurt my feelings that she could stand there and watch me clean but not jump in and help. This was a green light for her to go ballistic, interrupt me and never even really let me finish what I was trying to say. She ended up leaving, came back, left again, came back again and left me with my garage door opener. It seems that her personal responsibilities are more important than mine or spending time with me. I get that people should handle their business first, and I expect that; but it seems that her "stuff" never gets done and now it's taking precedence over spending time with me. We finally got a chance to talk and have decided to try to work things out. Problem is now I'm of the mindset of do I want to continue to do this? Almost 5 year invested, but this is the 4th time she has broken up with me over trivial shit in 5 months. I'd much rather be with someone who can verbally discuss problems and work past them willingly versus going the break up route right off the bat.

The sentence I bolded, was this when you were cleaning your home after you had helped with hers? I want to make sure I have it straight before I respond.

That is correct. It was even her words that she would help me clean my house up, for helping her with her house. I will give her credit, she did ask if there is anything she could do to help, while I was emptying the dishwasher. I honestly didn't know what to say. What was I supposed to say? You can take these dishes from my hand and put them in the cabinet? I'm of the mindset that if I see someone doing something, i don't ask questions; I jump in and help.

After I was finished, she got her clothes ready for the day, then went to the couch and got on facebook after making the comment, "I'll just go in here to stay out of your way."

Originally Posted by Lady Jane

Unfortunately, I am not qualified to give marital advice. I prefer to leave these matters to professionals who get to hear both sides of the story.

I can appreciate that. Just to clarify though, we aren't married, as for both sides of the story; I like to think I'm pretty good about giving both sides. Now I understand that viewpoints can vary; I don't discount that, but if I'm wrong, I'll admit it to whoever. I try not paint the people I care about in a negative light. I do respect your comment though.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by JP10

Not one of the ladies, but I'll still give my opinion haha.

I say bail based on the bold. Obviously easier said then done based on the amount of time spent together. I don't play the whole interrupt me, get pissed, and leave game - not like you're children or anything. I think the last time you guys broke up she got a new job or was dealing was some stressful event? Seems like she is always a little tense though. Breaking up with you that many times seems to me that she is taking you for granted. This again doesn't bode well for me in regards to how people should be treated. As always, goodluck man

I have to say this is where my mind is. My heart is obviously with her, but I feel like her mindset on the relationship is all she has to do is show up and show up whenever it suits her. My time and the effort that goes into getting my shit done, so that I can spend time with her, is of no concern to her. In her minds-eye, her shit is more important than mine, my effort or my time. I typically don't deal with this either. Usually the first sign of trouble and I turn into the traveling man.

thank you for your input brother!

Originally Posted by Lady Jane

We have some metric ones in Canada. When the guy promises you eight for tonight, you know it's in centimeters.

Interesting....

I promise nothing.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by cmyx6go

King Rudi I'm not going to trash her here and say what I really feel. Her recent behavior on top of some of the old stuff I remember says it's time for you to go. You bend over backwards for her. Rule 1 in my book is you treat other people the way you want to be treated. She obviously doesn't get that. It's not going to get better, as what you allow continues. By staying, you're allowing it. And you don't need the drama.

Laura.....first off.

Secondly, this is exactly where I am at. I have thought about the "What you allow is what will continue" business all day. I don't expect many on here to understand the situation as much as you would. You tend to know a little more than what I'm putting on here. I do bend over backwards for her and I feel like it isn't reciprocated. Case in point, I have never had a facebook profile picture with another person in it, unless it were my kids. I changed my profile picture to a picture of her and I. The only thing she had to say was to reply with a heart and smiley emoji.....that's it. Her profile picture, still her and her kids. Absolutely nothing about me on her profile at all. After I changed my profile picture, I had a mutual friend of ours msg me and say they had no clue we were even a couple.......5 years...... Literally nothing about me whatsoever on her social media.

[rebekahb]

Originally Posted by King Rudi

That is correct. It was even her words that she would help me clean my house up, for helping her with her house. I will give her credit, she did ask if there is anything she could do to help, while I was emptying the dishwasher. I honestly didn't know what to say. What was I supposed to say? You can take these dishes from my hand and put them in the cabinet? I'm of the mindset that if I see someone doing something, i don't ask questions; I jump in and help.

After I was finished, she got her clothes ready for the day, then went to the couch and got on facebook after making the comment, "I'll just go in here to stay out of your way."

I'm not trying to play devil's advocate here but just throwing around some things. Correct me if I'm wrong on anything. It doesn't seem as if she has the same want or ability to keep the same level of organization or cleanliness as you. Her not helping may be more that she's intimidated by your level of cleaning and feels she will do it wrong or that you wouldn't be happy with it. Also, where you say that you would jump in and help. That's what you would do. The one thing you have to remember is that you can't put your expectations onto someone else without them knowing. They will continually disappoint you. Not saying you do this, but I've had to realize that my OCD & need for things is not the same as the next person. I'm like you in the aspect I jump in to help and figure it out. I ask questions along the way if I'm unsure but at least I'm helping. Not everyone is the same and it can intimidate others.

As far as communication, instead of coming to you to talk about whatever is causing her insecurities she lashes out. This will not change unless she truly recognizes and actively works on it. She has to figure out what triggers her and how to learn to break that reaction. You have to think about is the relationship/time investment worth it to keep going. Are you willing to continue along with these random outbursts? If you truly love her and are willing to work with her if she works for herself then it will be tough but possibly worth it to you? If not, you've got a lot of thinking to do. Walking away from 4-5 years is tough & the recent events I would assume weigh on you. Obviously, it's more complicated than a 2 paragraph response can fix😉 If you need to chat more, hit me up.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by rebekahb

I'm not trying to play devil's advocate here but just throwing around some things. Correct me if I'm wrong on anything. It doesn't seem as if she has the same want or ability to keep the same level of organization or cleanliness as you. Her not helping may be more that she's intimidated by your level of cleaning and feels she will do it wrong or that you wouldn't be happy with it. Also, where you say that you would jump in and help. That's what you would do. The one thing you have to remember is that you can't put your expectations onto someone else without them knowing. They will continually disappoint you. Not saying you do this, but I've had to realize that my OCD & need for things is not the same as the next person. I'm like you in the aspect I jump in to help and figure it out. I ask questions along the way if I'm unsure but at least I'm helping. Not everyone is the same and it can intimidate others.

As far as communication, instead of coming to you to talk about whatever is causing her insecurities she lashes out. This will not change unless she truly recognizes and actively works on it. She has to figure out what triggers her and how to learn to break that reaction. You have to think about is the relationship/time investment worth it to keep going. Are you willing to continue along with these random outbursts? If you truly love her and are willing to work with her if she works for herself then it will be tough but possibly worth it to you? If not, you've got a lot of thinking to do. Walking away from 4-5 years is tough & the recent events I would assume weigh on you. Obviously, it's more complicated than a 2 paragraph response can fix😉 If you need to chat more, hit me up.

Rebekah, I appreciate your response more than you know. I always enjoy it when someone is able to sit back and assess the situation as a whole and look at both sides. She does notice how anal I am and how it affects me if something isn't right, but she has helped with small things in the past and it isn't a problem. I'm not the type to lash out if something isn't put where it's supposed to be. I simply appreciate the help. I most certainly have much to ponder. Thank you for your response.

[rebekahb]

@King Rudi I just read your last post about her social media and that makes me go hmmmm. Does she post a lot?

That reminds me of my sister in laws mother in law. Moved down to south fl to marry some multi-millionaire. Keeps a solo picture of herself and never changed her last name to his. Rarely posts pictures of the guy. It makes me feel bad. He's older (70ish) with 2 young children. Poor sap thinks she married him and moved one of her sons (my sis in law & their family) down there because she loved him. Not a one of them would have moved if the guy was an average joe but they've come to "love" him