Dating - Good/Bad Experiences

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by wcr3d

Bedding 3 the week after your breakup, a bombshell that is 10 years younger, in your 50’s?

DA MAN!!!

Originally Posted by upstatedoc

that was rudi

It was King Rudi with the 3 in one week this time. I did that in January and will never do it again.

Yes...she is more than 10 years younger than me.

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by upstatedoc

Get a pre-nup

We aren't there...

[wcr3d]

Doh!!!
Still, I guess it is just envy.
Glad it is going well with her.

[Murf993]

Originally Posted by MKSixer

I met the current (new) one through mutual friends and we have communicated on and off for the last 9 months. She is a fitness model with blonde hair down to the middle of her back, green eyes and a wonderfully generous spirit. We have been talking through COVID and decided in August to spend time with each other in September. She came down from Colorado and spent 10 days with me and it was amazing.

She's is 40, which is over 10 years younger than me, but we really clicked in a way that totally shocked me. We hung out with a few of my friends several times in multiple venues and went out on the town a couple of times. It was so calm, relaxed and felt completely natural.

My friends are shocked because I typically become impatient with ridiculous conversations and want to kick them out after a short period of time. I didn't want her to leave. That has NEVER happened before.

She is coming back in about 17 days and staying for 2 weeks. I can't wait!!

I'll keep everyone posted!!

Hey what happened to the old flame that you were going to try to re-connect with?

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by Murf993

Hey what happened to the old flame that you were going to try to re-connect with?

It just became a chore to find her with everything else I have going on. Simplicity is the word of the day. A bird in the hand...

[Desmond79]

Originally Posted by upstatedoc

Get a pre-nup

lol.

I just drafted a prenup. Told them in May to get the info and 5 days before the wedding I get it (September). Yes, I know. Iffy. But this one was not complex in terms of what happens at divorce. They've got to sign a ratification within 60 days and will see if they want it amended. I represented her. He declined.

If you get one, have both represented and sign it 30 days beforehand please.

[King Rudi]

After an extremely stressful weekend. I think I have decided to take a break from females all together. No dating. No sex. I have trust issues and honestly, it's going to be hard to find even remotely close to the ex-girlfriend. I think rather than to further stress my self out over the entire thing, I'm going to focus on working on my house for a while.

[JP10]

Originally Posted by King Rudi

After an extremely stressful weekend. I think I have decided to take a break from females all together. No dating. No sex. I have trust issues and honestly, it's going to be hard to find even remotely close to the ex-girlfriend. I think rather than to further stress my self out over the entire thing, I'm going to focus on working on my house for a while.

Sounds like a break would be for the best, especially since the last relationship was a long one. Besides the house, work on yourself. Now is the time to push the envelope in terms of fitness, use the break-up as a spark. You should be able to get ample amount of sleep now that she is out of the way as well. Just go with the flow, chicks will come. Hope all is well man.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by JP10

Sounds like a break would be for the best, especially since the last relationship was a long one. Besides the house, work on yourself. Now is the time to push the envelope in terms of fitness, use the break-up as a spark. You should be able to get ample amount of sleep now that she is out of the way as well. Just go with the flow, chicks will come. Hope all is well man.

You are exactly right! I've been using all this frustration as fuel for the gym. I am starting to get frustrated with myself due to the simple change of my schedule. It's hard to stay focused when I realize I don't have to rush through my day now.

[someguywithanm3]

Originally Posted by King Rudi

You are exactly right! I've been using all this frustration as fuel for the gym. I am starting to get frustrated with myself due to the simple change of my schedule. It's hard to stay focused when I realize I don't have to rush through my day now.

Enjoy yourself. Good luck my friend.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by someguywithanm3

Enjoy yourself. Good luck my friend.

Thank you good sir.

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by King Rudi

You are exactly right! I've been using all this frustration as fuel for the gym. I am starting to get frustrated with myself due to the simple change of my schedule. It's hard to stay focused when I realize I don't have to rush through my day now.

Dating right now is a shit show anyway. Everyone in my area is still too afraid to meet up due to covid, and many seem to use it as a way to play games, etc. Not worth the hassle right now in my opinion. The pandemic won't last forever, and if you happen to meet someone worthwhile along the way great, but I wouldn't actively try to look for someone online. Most of those people have been alone for months and are simply craving attention.

Do what makes you happy, ignore the rest.

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by upstatedoc

Get a pre-nup

That is a great way to ruin a relationship right out of the gate. I understand why some people would feel inclined to do it, but I also know many more where just entertaining the idea of a pre-nup would be an immediate end to the relationship.

I know from watching what some of my friends have gone through, I'll definitely need to be 100% triple sure before I get married.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

Dating right now is a shit show anyway. Everyone in my area is still too afraid to meet up due to covid, and many seem to use it as a way to play games, etc. Not worth the hassle right now in my opinion. The pandemic won't last forever, and if you happen to meet someone worthwhile along the way great, but I wouldn't actively try to look for someone online. Most of those people have been alone for months and are simply craving attention.

Do what makes you happy, ignore the rest.

Great advice, thank you. I talked to friend of mine (a female) who is on several dating sites. She showed me the men in this area that are on those dating sites, their profiles and the messages they send. Hard pass. I'm not about to be classified as one of those guys. I suppose the demographic of the guys that use those websites are different in each area, but I feel like I have higher standards than those guys....the one's in this area at least.

I'm honestly still sideways over the whole break up. It's hard for me to walk away from someone I know that cares about me; but there are times that how you feel about someone isn't enough. I have a lot of work to do on myself. I've been complacent for a couple of years now and recognize opportunities in myself that I need to work on. Much of the things that the girlfriend expressed her disdain with, hit home and she isn't wrong. I'm just going to focus on making myself a better person, the gym and get some work done on the house. I'm an artist and a creative type, I have several projects at home I've wanted to complete for years. All this, accompanied with my work load at the moment, will keep me occupied and give me the sense of accomplishment that I need to keep my motivated.

Gotta get my mind back on track financially and work toward.....whatever the hell it is decide to do in the next few years. I may put some money in the home, build up some equity, sell it and completely relocate and start over.

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by King Rudi

Great advice, thank you. I talked to friend of mine (a female) who is on several dating sites. She showed me the men in this area that are on those dating sites, their profiles and the messages they send. Hard pass. I'm not about to be classified as one of those guys. I suppose the demographic of the guys that use those websites are different in each area, but I feel like I have higher standards than those guys....the one's in this area at least.

I'm honestly still sideways over the whole break up. It's hard for me to walk away from someone I know that cares about me; but there are times that how you feel about someone isn't enough. I have a lot of work to do on myself. I've been complacent for a couple of years now and recognize opportunities in myself that I need to work on. Much of the things that the girlfriend expressed her disdain with, hit home and she isn't wrong. I'm just going to focus on making myself a better person, the gym and get some work done on the house. I'm an artist and a creative type, I have several projects at home I've wanted to complete for years. All this, accompanied with my work load at the moment, will keep me occupied and give me the sense of accomplishment that I need to keep my motivated.

Gotta get my mind back on track financially and work toward.....whatever the hell it is decide to do in the next few years. I may put some money in the home, build up some equity, sell it and completely relocate and start over.

The problem with the dating site guys is they actually make things more difficult for genuine people like us because women come to expect that behavior as the norm, and automatically put up a wall. Can't say I blame them when you get a constant flow of dick pics and cat calls all day.

The whole thing about walking away from someone who cares... it's tough but if they really cared about you would they treat you the way they did? To me, actions always mean more than words. It's like someone on my team claiming they are a hard worker, yet the work they do reflects the opposite. I don't know your whole situation, but from the bits and pieces I've read it was sudden, and we all know that changes in relationships aren't usually sudden, but progressive (or regressive) over time. If she felt a certain way towards you but did not communicate that to you until it was way too late, and you found out in a hurtful manner, well that is not someone who truly cares about you and your wellbeing.

[Joekerr]

I truly don't understand dick pics and why a guy would send them to a girl. Really, I don't. Maybe some females can shine some light here, but I would have thought this would render exactly the opposite of the desired effect.

I agree looks matter for both, but I also believe women do not prioritize a guy's looks to the same degree that men prioritize how a woman looks when it comes to attraction. Not that the guy can be ugly per se, looks matter, just less so.

And so then you double down and take a picture of a part of your body that I wouldn't say is overly attractive, or at least I don't understand why it is, I'm proud of it yeah, but wouldn't say its attractive, and send that off? It just seems so bizarre.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

The problem with the dating site guys is they actually make things more difficult for genuine people like us because women come to expect that behavior as the norm, and automatically put up a wall. Can't say I blame them when you get a constant flow of dick pics and cat calls all day.

The whole thing about walking away from someone who cares... it's tough but if they really cared about you would they treat you the way they did? To me, actions always mean more than words. It's like someone on my team claiming they are a hard worker, yet the work they do reflects the opposite. I don't know your whole situation, but from the bits and pieces I've read it was sudden, and we all know that changes in relationships aren't usually sudden, but progressive (or regressive) over time. If she felt a certain way towards you but did not communicate that to you until it was way too late, and you found out in a hurtful manner, well that is not someone who truly cares about you and your wellbeing.

You're exactly right on the dating sites. I think I've referred to it in here several times as a never ending carousel of dick....and that is my entire point. How is any woman, who is worth dating, going to think I'm any different than those guys if I'm on there too.

As for the relationship, I see your point completely and don't disagree; however in this instance I believe it is geared more toward lack of emotional development and how one communicates during stressful times. Screaming in the face of someone who has PTSD is not a constructive means of communicating. Unfortunately, I can not risk putting myself in a situation where someone could potentially get upset and start screaming in my face. Those that have PTSD will understand all too well. Bad things happen when you wake sleeping bear with aggression. I won't allow myself to be in that situation. As tough as it is to walk away from someone I care deeply for, my mental health and the ability to sleep without nightmare's trumps a relationship of any kind. If I am open and upfront about my mental state, the other person should appreciate my openness and understand there is a reason for my being open about it; not throw caution to the wind and see how far they can push me because they are upset.

She's a great person, HUGE heart, honest, pretty, amazing body and the sex was something out of a porno but......I could own a mansion and if there was black mold, I couldn't stay there. Sometimes, it only takes one small thing overlooked to ruin what a person spends years building only to be forced to walk away. Tough decision, but aside from my kids; I come first. I'll fill everyone else's glasses after I've filled mine, but I'm not going to fill everyone else's first and then do without. Do I sound like I've had countless hours of therapy?

[nyalpine90]

Originally Posted by King Rudi

Great advice, thank you. I talked to friend of mine (a female) who is on several dating sites. She showed me the men in this area that are on those dating sites, their profiles and the messages they send. Hard pass. I'm not about to be classified as one of those guys. I suppose the demographic of the guys that use those websites are different in each area, but I feel like I have higher standards than those guys....the one's in this area at least.

I'm honestly still sideways over the whole break up. It's hard for me to walk away from someone I know that cares about me; but there are times that how you feel about someone isn't enough. I have a lot of work to do on myself. I've been complacent for a couple of years now and recognize opportunities in myself that I need to work on. Much of the things that the girlfriend expressed her disdain with, hit home and she isn't wrong. I'm just going to focus on making myself a better person, the gym and get some work done on the house. I'm an artist and a creative type, I have several projects at home I've wanted to complete for years. All this, accompanied with my work load at the moment, will keep me occupied and give me the sense of accomplishment that I need to keep my motivated.

Gotta get my mind back on track financially and work toward.....whatever the hell it is decide to do in the next few years. I may put some money in the home, build up some equity, sell it and completely relocate and start over.

sorry to hear about your breakup.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

I truly don't understand dick pics and why a guy would send them to a girl. Really, I don't. Maybe some females can shine some light here, but I would have thought this would render exactly the opposite of the desired effect.

I agree looks matter for both, but I also believe women do not prioritize a guy's looks to the same degree that men prioritize how a woman looks when it comes to attraction. Not that the guy can be ugly per se, looks matter, just less so.

And so then you double down and take a picture of a part of your body that I wouldn't say is overly attractive, or at least I don't understand why it is, I'm proud of it yeah, but wouldn't say its attractive, and send that off? It just seems so bizarre.

I have a hard time with this as well. Here's my take, maybe some of the ladies can chime in. The only time it is acceptable to take and send a dick pic is if one has been requested. It is not ok to keep a stock dick pic photo that you can fire off at will when requested. Women do not like this. If a woman asks for one, then one should be taken specifically for that request when time permits, not in the bathroom at work or at your buddies house (yes, that's a nod to a friend of mine, it's shame he won't see this).

The problem with dick pics is that girls like seeing pics of guys who are attractive and hung well. Unfortunately, most men are overweight and only a small percentage are packing meatloaf. We as men tend to think that it's either bigger than what it is or that it will instantly make women want us. Why do we think this way? Because when we start talking to women that we are physically attracted, we want to know what they look like naked. How do we react to this feeling, we react the way we wish women did. Men are visual creatures, women are not. I'm going out on a limb to say I think we would do better as men, if we could somehow show women what we really are inside....versus sending pics of our beans and mash.

Really want to get a woman's attention with a picture? Leave something to the imagination. Bathroom nudes aren't going to do it.

I'd love to hear a woman's input as well. I need to know how wrong I am here. cmyx6go Lups rebekahb care to educate us?

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by nyalpine90

sorry to hear about your breakup.

Thank you sir. Appreciate you. It happens to all relationships at some point. Nothing lasts forever; but I enjoyed it while I could.

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by King Rudi

I have a hard time with this as well. Here's my take, maybe some of the ladies can chime in. The only time it is acceptable to take and send a dick pic is if one has been requested. It is not ok to keep a stock dick pic photo that you can fire off at will when requested. Women do not like this. If a woman asks for one, then one should be taken specifically for that request when time permits, not in the bathroom at work or at your buddies house (yes, that's a nod to a friend of mine, it's shame he won't see this).

The problem with dick pics is that girls like seeing pics of guys who are attractive and hung well. Unfortunately, most men are overweight and only a small percentage are packing meatloaf. We as men tend to think that it's either bigger than what it is or that it will instantly make women want us. Why do we think this way? Because when we start talking to women that we are physically attracted, we want to know what they look like naked. How do we react to this feeling, we react the way we wish women did. Men are visual creatures, women are not. I'm going out on a limb to say I think we would do better as men, if we could somehow show women what we really are inside....versus sending pics of our beans and mash.

Really want to get a woman's attention with a picture? Leave something to the imagination. Bathroom nudes aren't going to do it.

I'd love to hear a woman's input as well. I need to know how wrong I am here. cmyx6go Lups rebekahb care to educate us?

Nah, see I think you are right, and much the way I see it too. I was going to say (but then I didn't type it) that if a guy wanted to send a pic, it would probably generate more interest if it was a shirtless pic (that didn't include the banger and beans) - they'd honestly probably be more interested in that type of picture. But maybe we are both wrong - I welcome any corrections from the other side.

I guess on the plus side, a guy who doesn't send dick pics would automatically be sort of elevating himself in terms of interest? Is that a logical leap...I'm not sure it is, but maybe. I think you probably could differentiate yourself on dating sites to a degree, but only if women were searching for you...and if they're constantly inundated with crap, they're probably not overly interested in searching as they figure they'll just find more of the same. Interesting predicament. My buddy is in the same situation - great guy, really wants kids, late 30's, not overly attractive admittedly, in a great place financially and frankly could probably retire in 10 years if he wanted to, but just cannot find anyone good. I feel for him though, I'm pretty sure he looks at my life and others and is a little jealous of our families. And I probably would be too if I was him.

And I very much loved the meatloaf reference - well done on the cross reference posting!

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

Nah, see I think you are right, and much the way I see it too. I was going to say (but then I didn't type it) that if a guy wanted to send a pic, it would probably generate more interest if it was a shirtless pic (that didn't include the banger and beans) - they'd honestly probably be more interested in that type of picture. But maybe we are both wrong - I welcome any corrections from the other side.

I guess on the plus side, a guy who doesn't send dick pics would automatically be sort of elevating himself in terms of interest? Is that a logical leap...I'm not sure it is, but maybe. I think you probably could differentiate yourself on dating sites to a degree, but only if women were searching for you...and if they're constantly inundated with crap, they're probably not overly interested in searching as they figure they'll just find more of the same. Interesting predicament. My buddy is in the same situation - great guy, really wants kids, late 30's, not overly attractive admittedly, in a great place financially and frankly could probably retire in 10 years if he wanted to, but just cannot find anyone good. I feel for him though, I'm pretty sure he looks at my life and others and is a little jealous of our families. And I probably would be too if I was him.

And I very much loved the meatloaf reference - well done on the cross reference posting!

Just noticed the sig!

Here is what I discovered on dating sites a few years ago. If a man tries to separate himself apart, and I did; a person gets lots of attention. One also has to be mindful of the attention he is getting and who it comes from though. Oddly enough, I had a well typed out profile, classy pictures and left things a little vague to make them curious of this mysterious Scorpio. (I had help from a few lady friends on my profile, yes...I cheated. It also worked, kinda.) Snared several ladies with this, and not the typical dating app type ladies. I dated several women who didn't have profile pictures due to their jobs. Most guys overlook this. Some women without profile pictures aren't hideous, they are being safe.

For the man who excludes himself from sending dicktographs, (yup; just came up with that as I typed it, feel free to use it) it may differentiate him from the masses, but just like the lottery, you can't win if you don't play. This is where I would consider the sniper approach versus the machine gun approach. You only fire one shot when it is required versus as many as possible with hopes of hitting the target with just one. Another angle to this mindset is how is a man supposed to make a woman feel significant in his life, if the truth were to come out 20 years later: "I sent dick pics to everyone I know and she just happened to be the one to take the bait." I also think this mentality is why I don't want to date at the moment. It's not a matter of finding someone "that will do" I want the one above the others.

Also, yes; your friend is definitely envious of your marriage. Guys, genuinely good guys, who have trouble finding a suitable partner often judge themselves and what they are doing wrong based on their friends relationships. I only have 2 friends that are married that I envy. The rest are also part of the reason I feel it's best for me to exclude myself from the dating (read cess) pool.