Dating - Good/Bad Experiences

[dinonz]

Originally Posted by FuriouslyFast

Any action today, guys?

The migraine clown I talked about previously did not like me officially calling her out on using that as her crutch to live with sister & collect disability & pretend her part-time receptionist job @ the yoga place (So she can do yoga) & off the books babysitting jobs is the life to live.

That was last night. This morning she asked if I wanted to drop the topic or keep talking about it. Ok bitch, let's get passive aggressive. Won't end well for you! I simply said "If you have something to say, feel free." Have not heard from her since.

If you're genuinely happy with your life as is, good for you. Don't expect this to go beyond FWB. Ever. I'm not where I used to be, but I'm not sitting on my hands not trying.

It all started when I asked her why she never wants to go out & do anything. She cited a whole 2 things she came up with in months then went down migraine lane & here we are!

Before anyone jumps on me, I prefaced what I said to her that I am aware it's a terrible thing and sometimes they are bad enough to cause a person to not function, but I also know, and have dated people, that get them & they all held down real jobs/careers, social lives, relationships, etc.

I'm sure migraines are different for everyone, but when my Mum had one, she was in her bed curtains closed and didn't leave her room other than to pee for days. When someone walks around the room telling me they have a migraine while looking at their phone, I'm like "no - you have a headache bitch".

I don't think many migraines are really migraines, unless there some very soft definitions of it.

[polychromatic]

Originally Posted by Rmtt

Sounds kind of odd. As I mentioned, my wife is a chronic migraine sufferer. She would see 12-14+ a month. Botox has cut that back to less than 10, but when she gets one she is out of commission. A pain index of 10.

Vomiting until she dry heaves, light sensitivity, and it has started affecting her vision with wierd effects.

We have MRI's that show progressive damage and lesions, and the neurologist doesn't know where it will lead in the future.

But she isn't drawing disability. And on days she doesn't have one....pain index may be a 3, but she has learned to function at that level as she has been doing for the last 20 years.

Here’s a person that knows what it’s like to be in a relationship with a sufferer. You’re a saint man...some people would leave, but not you, and you have my utmost respect.

I would never throw shade on someone with a migraine diagnosis. That is some serious s__t and unless you have had that experience, you cannot judge at all.

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by dinonz

I'm sure migraines are different for everyone, but when my Mum had one, she was in her bed curtains closed and didn't leave her room other than to pee for days. When someone walks around the room telling me they have a migraine while looking at their phone, I'm like "no - you have a headache bitch".

I don't think many migraines are really migraines, unless there some very soft definitions of it.

Agreed. When I have a migraine I can't even look at my phone even with the brightness all the way down. Car headlights at night are the worst though.

[pennsiveguy]

I had a fun meet-and-greet with a gal I met on Zoosk. She's pretty accomplished (has a PharmD, the PhD of pharmacy) and works for a pharmaceutical company, serving as a consultant to medical professionals. Somewhat funny, very smart, very fit, and I'd call her a strong 7.5. We have plans for dinner next weekend. I'll keep you posted.

[Rmtt]

Originally Posted by polychromatic

Here’s a person that knows what it’s like to be in a relationship with a sufferer. You’re a saint man...some people would leave, but not you, and you have my utmost respect.

I would never throw shade on someone with a migraine diagnosis. That is some serious s__t and unless you have had that experience, you cannot judge at all.

Thank you. I look at it as it's not her fault, and she can't help it. She didn't ask for them and has had them since her teenage years.

It's only in the last 4-5 years that they have gotten this severe, and she has to be careful with anything she tries.

About 3 years ago, they tried a preventative medecine and she had a very bad allergic reaction that was diagnosed as Steven Johnson's syndrome.

Her body's immune system basically attacked itself. She couldn't eat solid food for 3 months.

If you have a strong stomach, just Google that reaction. It's like a severe burn patient. And what you see externally is also going on internally.

And once you get it, the chances of it happening again are very high....with fatal results. You have to be very careful of any medecine or supplement.

She made a full recovery, but now can't take much of anything to try and combat her diagnosis. Botox has helped, but isn't a cure.

But she makes the best of it as she can. And all I can do is be there to support her.

[TrevorM3]

Originally Posted by pennsiveguy

I had a fun meet-and-greet with a gal I met on Zoosk. She's pretty accomplished (has a PharmD, the PhD of pharmacy) and works for a pharmaceutical company, serving as a consultant to medical professionals. Somewhat funny, very smart, very fit, and I'd call her a strong 7.5. We have plans for dinner next weekend. I'll keep you posted.

is zoosk free?

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by pennsiveguy

I had a fun meet-and-greet with a gal I met on Zoosk. She's pretty accomplished (has a PharmD, the PhD of pharmacy) and works for a pharmaceutical company, serving as a consultant to medical professionals. Somewhat funny, very smart, very fit, and I'd call her a strong 7.5. We have plans for dinner next weekend. I'll keep you posted.

Well done, my friend. Well done.

Went out with the Australian goddess on Saturday. Picked her up for drinks at a rooftop bar then moved to Canal Street and hit The Palace Cafe for dinner. After dinner we went to the Ritz Carlton to listen to a jazz band. It always impresses the ladies when the band members come up to tell you hello. Lol! She though it was a setup but it was totally spontaneous as I didn't know my friend's band was playing that night.

Next date is at Top Golf.

[premier3is]

Rmtt sir, you are a good man and have earned my respect. Blessings to you and your wife, I hope she finds something to help her with her recovery efforts.

[Dang3r]

Originally Posted by MKSixer

Well done, my friend. Well done.

Went out with the Australian goddess on Saturday. Picked her up for drinks at a rooftop bar then moved to Canal Street and hit The Palace Cafe for dinner. After dinner we went to the Ritz Carlton to listen to a jazz band. It always impresses the ladies when the band members come up to tell you hello. Lol! She though it was a setup but it was totally spontaneous as I didn't know my friend's band was playing that night.

Next date is at Top Golf.

Thumbs up dude, thats the way to go, best wishes for the further developement.

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by Rmtt

Sounds kind of odd. As I mentioned, my wife is a chronic migraine sufferer. She would see 12-14+ a month. Botox has cut that back to less than 10, but when she gets one she is out of commission. A pain index of 10.

Vomiting until she dry heaves, light sensitivity, and it has started affecting her vision with wierd effects.

We have MRI's that show progressive damage and lesions, and the neurologist doesn't know where it will lead in the future.

But she isn't drawing disability. And on days she doesn't have one....pain index may be a 3, but she has learned to function at that level as she has been doing for the last 20 years.

I'm sorry to hear this. I've worked with this organization professionally and they have good tools. Have you tried to get her into any clinical trials?

https://migraineresearchfoundation.org

[upstatedoc]

when I first met my gf she would have 1-2 migraines a week. they were so bad she would miss work. she started Emgality (monthly injection that I stick in her butt ) it's been a game changer. she hardly has a ny migraines now going on 8-9 months now. shes getting them free from her pcp for now I imagine the cost is astronomical

[FuriouslyFast]

Originally Posted by polychromatic

Here’s a person that knows what it’s like to be in a relationship with a sufferer. You’re a saint man...some people would leave, but not you, and you have my utmost respect.

I would never throw shade on someone with a migraine diagnosis. That is some serious s__t and unless you have had that experience, you cannot judge at all.

Is this a shot at me or what? I already stated I have dated migraine sufferers in the past.

[FuriouslyFast]

Originally Posted by Rmtt

Thank you. I look at it as it's not her fault, and she can't help it. She didn't ask for them and has had them since her teenage years.

It's only in the last 4-5 years that they have gotten this severe, and she has to be careful with anything she tries.

About 3 years ago, they tried a preventative medecine and she had a very bad allergic reaction that was diagnosed as Steven Johnson's syndrome.

Her body's immune system basically attacked itself. She couldn't eat solid food for 3 months.

If you have a strong stomach, just Google that reaction. It's like a severe burn patient. And what you see externally is also going on internally.

And once you get it, the chances of it happening again are very high....with fatal results. You have to be very careful of any medecine or supplement.

She made a full recovery, but now can't take much of anything to try and combat her diagnosis. Botox has helped, but isn't a cure.

But she makes the best of it as she can. And all I can do is be there to support her.

But she is a contributing member of society is the point. That's my whole issue.

I also don't understand how a person can have little to no drive or ambition.

[FuriouslyFast]

Originally Posted by pennsiveguy

I had a fun meet-and-greet with a gal I met on Zoosk. She's pretty accomplished (has a PharmD, the PhD of pharmacy) and works for a pharmaceutical company, serving as a consultant to medical professionals. Somewhat funny, very smart, very fit, and I'd call her a strong 7.5. We have plans for dinner next weekend. I'll keep you posted.

Good job. How many shit profiles/messages did you have to go through on Zoosk, though? I'm still not sure I wanna pay for that site.

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by FuriouslyFast

Good job. How many shit profiles/messages did you have to go through on Zoosk, though? I'm still not sure I wanna pay for that site.

I'm curious about this as well. I don't have Zoosk (might sign up in the near future) but I know on other sites (such as Match) they are completely useless unless you pay for them. I think on Match you can't even message people without paying, which is pointless. While I hate paying for shit, especially since I live in a smaller town where there are less people/potential matches in the first place, it seems like the only way to get anywhere. I deleted POF because there are way too many scams/fake profiles. I would say 80% of it is completely fake, it's just not even worth the effort. Tinder is approaching that fast. So many women with fake profiles or premium snapchat requests.

[nyalpine90]

[pennsiveguy]

Originally Posted by MKSixer

Well done, my friend. Well done.

Went out with the Australian goddess on Saturday. Picked her up for drinks at a rooftop bar then moved to Canal Street and hit The Palace Cafe for dinner. After dinner we went to the Ritz Carlton to listen to a jazz band. It always impresses the ladies when the band members come up to tell you hello. Lol! She though it was a setup but it was totally spontaneous as I didn't know my friend's band was playing that night.

Next date is at Top Golf.

Sounds like a great date - congrats!

+1 to being known by the band. It's reassuring to them when you're recognized and people say "Hi" when you're out in public with a date, even if they're not important or impressive people. It shows them that you're not a hermit, a complete asshole, or a con man who's burned everyone you've ever known. And a date wants to know that you've got a social network, so you're not going to glom onto them and depend on them for all of your social needs.

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by FuriouslyFast

Good job. How many shit profiles/messages did you have to go through on Zoosk, though? I'm still not sure I wanna pay for that site.

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

I'm curious about this as well. I don't have Zoosk (might sign up in the near future) but I know on other sites (such as Match) they are completely useless unless you pay for them. I think on Match you can't even message people without paying, which is pointless. While I hate paying for shit, especially since I live in a smaller town where there are less people/potential matches in the first place, it seems like the only way to get anywhere. I deleted POF because there are way too many scams/fake profiles. I would say 80% of it is completely fake, it's just not even worth the effort. Tinder is approaching that fast. So many women with fake profiles or premium snapchat requests.

Originally Posted by nyalpine90

It's always a mixed bag. I placed my stratification earlier in the thread and it's based on overall opportunities. Based on outcomes it's a bit different. Zoosk is great if you want to meet lots of women that may be a little more focused on shorter term outcomes.

The best thing about online dating is culling many different women from the field in an hour or two vs spending the like amount of time on a really bad date. My system is this:

1. Chat for a day or so.
2. Exchange numbers to text. And exchange pictures which AREN'T on the site.
3. Talk within 24-28 hours of exchanging numbers.
4. FaceTime or video chat within 48 hours of talking. This is important. If they balk at video chatting, I'm out.
5. Meet and greet for happy hour. Happy hour is important because it gives you an out if it doesn't go well or, if it is going well, extend to dinner. Maximum upside with very little downside risk.

This is the way.

Cheers-mk

[pennsiveguy]

Originally Posted by TrevorM3

is zoosk free?

You can set up a profile for free, but you have to join and pay in order to send messages. Or maybe even to read them, I'm not sure. There are a lot of non-members who are just there browsing and "kicking tires" and can't respond if you message them, which is pretty frustrating. Trouble is, you don't know which ones those are. I've learned not to put a lot of effort or content in my initial "Hi there" message, to mitigate the wasted time.

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by pennsiveguy

Sounds like a great date - congrats!

+1 to being known by the band. It's reassuring to them when you're recognized and people say "Hi" when you're out in public with a date, even if they're not important or impressive people. It shows them that you're not a hermit, a complete asshole, or a con man who's burned everyone you've ever known. And a date wants to know that you've got a social network, so you're not going to glom onto them and depend on them for all of your social needs.

Thanks! This is high praise from a person with your experience and success.

Th other thing that was interesting watching her when a fellow car enthusiast praised my vehicle then praised her about her beauty. She was genuinely surprised about the car-guy talk and blushed at his praise for her. It was actually nice to see.

[FuriouslyFast]

Originally Posted by MKSixer

Thanks! This is high praise from a person with your experience and success.

Th other thing that was interesting watching her when a fellow car enthusiast praised my vehicle then praised her about her beauty. She was genuinely surprised about the car-guy talk and blushed at his praise for her. It was actually nice to see.

Surprised at car talk? I guess she is the hermit

I think going as far as thinking someone is a hermit etc just b/c you don't get recognized when out on a date does not mean you're a shut in or lack social skills.

[pennsiveguy]

Originally Posted by MKSixer

Thanks! This is high praise from a person with your experience and success.

Th other thing that was interesting watching her when a fellow car enthusiast praised my vehicle then praised her about her beauty. She was genuinely surprised about the car-guy talk and blushed at his praise for her. It was actually nice to see.

It's important to me to spend some time around someone to watch how they react to different situations, to see how they handle themselves. And to hear what they have to say about it afterwards. People can make claims and declarations about themselves, but how they act and how they treat people - including me - is what's real. I pay special attention to how someone treats people of lower perceived status than them, and people who they have nothing to gain from. My date the other day was really warm and friendly with the young man of color behind the counter at the deli we had lunch at. I was impressed. That speaks to their character. When someone claims to be kind and generous, and then treats the wait staff at a restaurant like shit, doesn't make eye contact with the server...yeah, we're done here.

Sounds like you got some good information there. Nice catch!