Strangest places you dropped the deuce?

[CANGRKE70]

Empty classroom in high school.

[///M Power-Belgium]

Originally Posted by CANGRKE70

Empty classroom in high school.

You hated the teacher ?

[Josh (PA)]

Originally Posted by MKSixer

Dude. You win this thread. We can close it now. I mean now.
Is that freaking blood?!?!!! Really?!?!!

Is it really winning?

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by Josh (PA)

Is it really winning?

We all lost a little bit. You lost a lot. But you win this thread. No one will beat this, I'm certain. (This is not a challenge!!)

[Lups]

Originally Posted by MKSixer

We all lost a little bit. You lost a lot. But you win this thread. No one will beat this, I'm certain. (This is not a challenge!!)

I hope you have on in your pants.

[1MOREMOD]

Originally Posted by jgoens

How long ago was that? I went swimming there about 7 years ago.

I don't recall!

[ASAP]

Oh son, have I got a story for you-

London, UK... 1 Month Ago

I went on a trip to England, I was taking antibiotics the week before so I had slight diarrhea and had consistent IBS. I ran into a bathroom at a local Friday's (of all places)... literally ran into it and took a shit the size of Texas... I destroyed the toilet... Here is where things got interesting, there was no toilet paper in the bathroom so I decided to flush and crawl over to the stall next door and grab some paper. What I didn't know was that what I had pulled was not a flusher but instead a fucking alarm that was setup for handicapped people in case of an emergency. Now you can imagine my stress as I just tore up a toilet, am standing with my pants down and an alarm is going off to alert people to come and help me...

What do I do? I jump to the alarm and somehow disable it before anyone came, pulled my pants up and ran out like Usain Bolt in the 100.

[MKSixer]

Not me and not quite on topic but in the spirit of the thread.

There was a guy who gave himself the moniker of, "The Shithouse Poet" back in college. He started off dropping a deuce in the bathroom but, shall we say...slightly off target and leaving prose either on the wall or in some place nearby.

As he refined his craft and became emboldened, he began leaving his gifts for all in places that were increasingly more public and risky. His legend soon grew as did his piles along with the complexity of his writings. No one knew where and when The Shithouse Poet would strike next. He became the topic of conversations in every club, fraternity, sorority, and non-affiliated student on campus. The administration was flummoxed and the faculty was terrified as he continuing to spread his joyful prose in the classrooms and labs.

Just as his notoriety reached its zenith, The Shithouse Poet disappeared. He was wise enough to bow out on top and not overstay his welcome like so many athletes and others in the public eye tend to do.

That, my friends, is the tale of The Shithouse Poet.

[N0Chill 335i]

About 11 years ago I was riding the bus home from work. 10 mins into my 35 min ride I felt a rumbling in my stomach. I thought to myself "no big deal, you can hold it until you get home." About 7 minutes and 2 miles from my house my stomach was like "No sir... It's time to go!"
I stood up and started pacing in the back of the bus, hoping the sensation would go away because I was standing... It did not. The pressure got stronger and stronger and I had a decision to make. I realized we were on a very dimly lit back road in the middle of night. I could use the trees for cover out there in some unfortunate person's yard. I yanked that yellow cord to stop the bus and flew off at the next stop in front of this beautiful house with tall, sprawling trees. I ran to the backside of a tree away from the street view but still shrouded in darkness. I was wearing a 3 piece suit with tie and vest if I didn't mention this before... I dropped trouse and it exploded out of me... oh the joy and relief. About 3 mins later my business was done. Now I had to figure out what to wipe with. I took off my work shirt, a very nice pastel yellow French cuff shirt and proceeded to clean myself. I covered my poop with the shirt and had the longest walk of shame ever to my apartment. I arrived home and immediately hopped in the shower, not saying a word to my girlfriend who lived with me. As I stood there washing away my disgrace I recall I had 2 of my business cards from work in my shirt front pocket... For years I waited to receive a call from an angry homeowner raving about how I dropped a load in their front yard, but it never came.

This is one of my all time favorite stories and I will never forget it.

[teflon_jones]

Worst... thread... ever...

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by teflon_jones

Worst... thread... ever...

Welcome to BP OT. You're new...this doesn't even touch the worst.

[Mingwan]

Had a PT test at 430am at the local high school for ROTC. Felt great during the test despite getting virtually no sleep the night before. Then the running part of the test was next. Lt. let us warm up around the track before doing the actual run. I suddenly felt a chill run through my whole body followed by what felt like a brick slamming into my asshole from my gut. I immediately started looking for a bathroom, but the bathrooms were all locked. I asked the Lt. if he knew of any bathrooms around, and he basically told me I’m SOL, and “you gotta do what you gotta do.” (No way I’m shitting my pants, bro.) I couldn’t hold it anymore so I did my thing near the bleachers and used one of my socks as toilet paper.

What’s the next thread? “Who likes getting sucked off while taking a deuce?”

[someguywithanm3]

Originally Posted by N0Chill 335i

About 11 years ago I was riding the bus home from work. 10 mins into my 35 min ride I felt a rumbling in my stomach. I thought to myself "no big deal, you can hold it until you get home." About 7 minutes and 2 miles from my house my stomach was like "No sir... It's time to go!"
I stood up and started pacing in the back of the bus, hoping the sensation would go away because I was standing... It did not. The pressure got stronger and stronger and I had a decision to make. I realized we were on a very dimly lit back road in the middle of night. I could use the trees for cover out there in some unfortunate person's yard. I yanked that yellow cord to stop the bus and flew off at the next stop in front of this beautiful house with tall, sprawling trees. I ran to the backside of a tree away from the street view but still shrouded in darkness. I was wearing a 3 piece suit with tie and vest if I didn't mention this before... I dropped trouse and it exploded out of me... oh the joy and relief. About 3 mins later my business was done. Now I had to figure out what to wipe with. I took off my work shirt, a very nice pastel yellow French cuff shirt and proceeded to clean myself. I covered my poop with the shirt and had the longest walk of shame ever to my apartment. I arrived home and immediately hopped in the shower, not saying a word to my girlfriend who lived with me. As I stood there washing away my disgrace I recall I had 2 of my business cards from work in my shirt front pocket... For years I waited to receive a call from an angry homeowner raving about how I dropped a load in their front yard, but it never came.

This is one of my all time favorite stories and I will never forget it.

Next time, use your socks for Pete's sake..

[bimmette]

Wow, bimmerpost OT has officially gone to shit.

[Mingwan]

I see what you did there.

[The Chaddening]

This is not my story, but probably the best amazon review ever posted. Don't eat sugar free gummy bears.

"I have seen the face of God.

By Douglas Popeon October 21, 2014

I didn't feel the need to plan my weekend around 5 small gummybears. But if you fail to plan, you plan to fail.
It began with a noticeable change in the viscosity of my saliva. Within minutes of consumption, my mouth had filled with a thick foamy slime. Though I was in a cool climate controlled room a salty sweat broke out, and I felt my heartbeat quicken as my body threw itself into fight or flight.
The animal noises broadcasting from my pelvis were an ominous warning of the violent acts that were to follow. I shouldered my way into the bathroom, clawing at my belt, moaning with pain. The smell came first. It started sweet, almost tangy. That was quickly overpowered by a cloying chemical perfume.
The first volley of feces hit the water like soda cans and nickles. The resulting splash drenching my bottom in foul brackish water, but this was quickly becoming the least of my worries.
After another moment, the noises in my core hit a fever pitch and I was struck rigid with pain. The sweat was now running into my eyes, but the room had turned ice cold and my hands began to spasm.
I felt an insidious burning flooding my escape hatch. I gasped. Hot yellow poison began spraying from my rear, changing in pitch and echo as the stream of diarrhea whipped around the toilet bowl, creating a nightmarish Doppler effect that can only be appreciated in hindsight.
My legs fell asleep sitting on the toilet. I couldn't have stood up if I wanted to.
Wiping was a no-go. Toilet paper simply became a vile paper mache'. My hands were quickly soiled. A full blown shower was needed, and all of my towels had to be burned.
So happy with my purchase, would recommend to friends and definitely buying again!"

https://www.amazon.com/review/R2DQNJRV27D3P0

[upstatedoc]

Not me but my college roommate was running a 15k race when he had diarrhea and shit himself. Finished the race with poo running down his leg. 💩

[IrvineTim]

in Hawaii,in the ocean, paddling out to the break, ala moana. Driving my car, in my shorts, because it hurt and I could not hold it in any more. Lets see, walking to the public bathroom also. Yup, had bowel issues in the past, all gone now Nope, not gay, not a sphincter issue. Diet issue I think.

[NorCal f80]

one cup , two girls

[ShopVac]

My brother is more for 'dropping the deuce' at famous landmarks around the world. He's got quite an extensive list. I'm more the 'pee in major bodies of water' kinda guy. I've got a list for that...

Needless, will state that I dropped one on the equator...which is cool in itself.

My best landmark was this in Rome, in the Victor Emmanuel - almost didn't make it, and ended up in the ladies room (since they were coin operated and was the only one I could find open). Was fully prepared to drop one in the sink if needed...

[ipilcher]

Peru. If you've been, you know.

I also spent $300 to join the Admirals Club in ATL for access to decent facilities. (This was before they sold day passes.)

[ShopVac]

Originally Posted by ipilcher

Peru. If you've been, you know.

I also spent $300 to join the Admirals Club in ATL for access to decent facilities. (This was before they sold day passes.)

I pee'd on Machu Picchu, on the back side over one of those 1000ft cliffs....brother dumped on top of Wynnu Picchu. Apparently a bucket list poop for him.

Can also state that I pee'd into Titicaca at Puno and Bolivia.