Social Media - Boon or Bane?

[Lady Jane]

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[rebekahb]

It's awful. Currently, my sister in laws are feuding and one is making passive aggressive fb posts which the other knows are directed at her. The other is posting the happiest of birthdays to my sweet niece (who isn't on fb) but yet she is failing to advertise that she's being petty and not going to the sweetest nieces birthday. It's completely elementary. One of you is 44 and the other is 39. Is this really how we are acting as adults?

Our friends son is addicted to Instagram and likes. He was at our house and posted some pics. After, I got a continual update of how many people liked his post. He then asks me if I know who some chick is. I say I have no clue. His response OMG...she has like 16 million followers how can you not know who she is. I asked him why he is so concerned with someone he will never meet & she will never know who he is. He looked at me like I had 2 heads. He also informed me I hadn't posted on IG since 2/2020. I didn't even know that.

Filtering pics. My friends 19 year old daughter is beautiful but she filters every single picture even though she doesn't need to. It just feeds on the false sense of reality and we need to be flawless.

I could go on and on like everyone else. It's just not healthy. It breeds a never enough mentality. Never pretty enough, not skinny enough, not rich enough, not loved enough, etc. I wish we could eliminate social media and do a hard reset.

[shimmy23]

I'm not on social media unless you consider this forum one.

I think there good and bad to it. We don't promote it in our household. My kids are 6 and 4. It breaks my heart though when I hear about kids posting TikToks and asking how many views/likes they've gotten. They shouldn't be so concerned about being accepted like that. Parents need to remember that their child's "world" is much smaller and even a small deal like TikTok views has a greater impact

[Lady Jane]

We need teachers. We need nurses. etc...

Not Influencers.

Although Darwin has a way to thin out the herd when they take selfies on the edge of a cliff.

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[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by Lady Jane

We need teachers. We need nurses. etc...

Not Influencers.

Although Darwin has a way to thin out the herd when they take selfies on the edge of a cliff.

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Think about all the influencers who make a shit ton of money, then are irrelevant 6 months later. I can think of a few youtube creators who that happened to. A lot of people like that end up with severe mental issues because they are so famous then it all goes away. Kind of like child actors/entertainers who are really good when young then don't get any more gigs as they get older.

[GenXer]

I don't participate in a social media except this one. I have no need to tell anyone about anything especially where I've been or what I ate.

I do have a FB account but it's mostly to contact close family and friends in real life.

I remember being bullied as a kid but it consisted of being punched, tripped, name calling etc. Social media like FB and such are the best tools for bullies. It's being called a "***" but on an advertisement billboard. It can be harmful if a person live their life by the internet.

That being said, I believe we're bringing up a generation of snowflakes. Coaches and teachers have to treat students with kid glove. Drill instructors in the military can be given a stress card! Seriously? Would our enemies care if our feelings were hurt in the battlefield?

We've gone from extremely hard to extremely soft. How about something in the middle instead.

[Lady Jane]

Originally Posted by rebekahb

I could go on and on like everyone else. It's just not healthy. It breeds a never enough mentality. Never pretty enough, not skinny enough, not rich enough, not loved enough, etc. I wish we could eliminate social media and do a hard reset.

That's what got me started on this thread. We had an eleven year old last night admitted for swallowing an entire box of Nyquil with some Vodka seltzers. We pumped her stomach probably just in time as she was starting getting seizures and really bad nystagmus.

The cause of all this drama, that had the potential of being lethal was........Un-friended by some of her classmates.

[cmyx6go]

Originally Posted by Lady Jane

That's what got me started on this thread. We had an eleven year old last night admitted for swallowing an entire box of Nyquil with some Vodka seltzers. We pumped her stomach probably just in time as she was starting getting seizures and really bad nystagmus.

The cause of all this drama, that had the potential of being lethal was........Un-friended by some of her classmates.

It's so sad. I can't even imagine an 11 year old thinking it's so bad to take her life.

[TboneS54]

It's poison. All that attention and money for decades on drug awareness and prevention; turns out the worst drug is our cell phone. But these dealers are legit, and they will not be stopped.

[Lady Jane]

Originally Posted by shimmy23

I'm not on social media unless you consider this forum one.

I don't consider a car or bike forum as part of a social media platform. We are here because we start with something in common.

The sub-forums are there to add some life in an otherwise narrow and aseptic topic.

Moderators keep us in line if matters go off on the wrong track. Ask me how I know...Attachment 2526505

[Lady Jane]

Originally Posted by cmyx6go

It's so sad. I can't even imagine an 11 year old thinking it's so bad to take her life.

That's the problem. We can't fathom the grip social media has on the kids. For them, it's the end of the world.

[fiveohwblow]

Originally Posted by Lady Jane

That's the problem. We can't fathom the grip social media has on the kids. For them, it's the end of the world.

How about the parents? I have twin 12 year olds who do have cell phones, but, are so locked down they arent allowed to view social media and we have at length discussed why. WTF is wrong with parents? Its not just the generation currently being raised, rather, the generation(s) parenting as well.... Common sense just isn't so common.

[Esteban]

Glad I never got caught up in any of that. Feel sorry for people who let it run/ruin their life.

A while ago I read about a woman who was on facebook and she got so wrapped up in it that it took over her life. She began to neglect her kids and her husband. After a while her husband couldn't take it anymore and finally he divorced her and got custody of the kids. She lost her family, which should be the most important thing in a person's life, over facebook. So sad. Like a drug addiction.

It's especially bad for young people who grew up with it thinking it really matters what people say/think about them online. It doesn't.

Just disconnect...

[King Rudi]

I forgot to mention during my social experimentation on facebook, my only posts have been in jest, poking fun of the typical facebook user. Case in point, it's been my birthday 3 times since I opened my account back in December. Only a handful have picked up on it. The rest just keep on wishing me a happy birthday.

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by unluky

The 20somethings on the show were yelling "how can you even live without your phone?!?!? OMG!!!! impossible!"

This is the problem. It is no longer an entertainment device for them - it is their entire life. Every part of their lives revolve around their phone - including their self-worth. When you give a device that much power over your life - you are doomed.

When our parents told us to go play outside because that TV would "rot your brains" - they were not too far off. Very sad to see.

Keep in mind that our whole society has shifted this way. I'm 30, I still remember the days with no cell phones, no laptops, Windows 95, dial-up internet, etc.

Now my employer requires me to carry a phone that allows them to reach me pretty much anywhere, and expect me to respond to e-mails within a certain time period as well. I'd love to go back to the old way with the land line phone, but then I'd also probably be working part-time at Burger King.

Originally Posted by GenXer

That being said, I believe we're bringing up a generation of snowflakes. Coaches and teachers have to treat students with kid glove. Drill instructors in the military can be given a stress card! Seriously? Would our enemies care if our feelings were hurt in the battlefield?

We've gone from extremely hard to extremely soft. How about something in the middle instead.

This is true, but think about who made the kids that way - their parents. I'm a millennial, but unlike many others my age. My parents were strict, they challenged me. If I didn't play well enough in a game my dad was the first one to let me know I sucked and needed to do better. In school I was more afraid of my parents than I was anyone working in the building. There were expectations and I had to meet them. These days there are zero expectations, and anyone who tries to put expectations on a kid will be met with resistance from their parents.

[iminhell1]

I've grown up with the internet. I wish I was grown up prior to it. So I'd have a better viewpoint.

But from my limited knowledge, it's a tool the same as all other tools. If you don't know how to properly use it or have a goal of usage in mind, it will be abused. You can't neglect it and hope it'll fix itself.

I have FB. Nothing else. I have very few friends/acquaintances (real life the same). I will unfriend at will if that person continually posts things I'm not looking to read/hear about. Any political rhetoric, I ignore them. Start posting conspiracy BS, they are dead to me. Everyone I've friended knows I'm only in it for the car stuff and associated. I'll veer off from time to time, but I always pull back.
If I didn't have it I wouldn't have been able to meet some really cool people and made some great friends.


Now as a human race we somehow always gravitate to the worst of things. That gets more air time and we start to believe that everything involved with that thing is evil.
... I blame that on how the 'news' has very little if any happy news ...
Thing is there is far more good than evil. It just doesn't get the publicity or create a lasting memory in our brains.

Just think about all the birthday parades that where organized and shared on social media during this covid bs. That is something that would not have been able to be done without it. Those kids/adults will remember that for a long time.

The 'find a killer' type of groups that are trying/solving cold cases, missing persons, identifying suspects; not possible without social media.

All the people that have been able to reconnect with lost friends, schoolmates, military friends, etc. Not possible without it.


I don't like the hey look at me stuff. But that's always been around. People will peacock with or without social media. The media just allows more to see it. Doesn't mean you have to look. TMZ is not real life. Meme's are not life.
If you set a goal for using the tool you can find it to be quite useful. If you don't have a goal and just let it run wild, you won't like the result. Govern your own life accordingly.

[cmyx6go]

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

This is true, but think about who made the kids that way - their parents. I'm a millennial, but unlike many others my age. My parents were strict, they challenged me. If I didn't play well enough in a game my dad was the first one to let me know I sucked and needed to do better. In school I was more afraid of my parents than I was anyone working in the building. There were expectations and I had to meet them. These days there are zero expectations, and anyone who tries to put expectations on a kid will be met with resistance from their parents.

Ding Ding Ding.....

You win the internet today!

[fiveohwblow]

Originally Posted by Esteban

Glad I never got caught up in any of that. Feel sorry for people who let it run/ruin their life.

A while ago I read about a woman who was on facebook and she got so wrapped up in it that it took over her life. She began to neglect her kids and her husband. After a while her husband couldn't take it anymore and finally he divorced her and got custody of the kids. She lost her family, which should be the most important thing in a person's life, over facebook. So sad. Like a drug addiction.

It's especially bad for young people who grew up with it thinking it really matters what people say/think about them online. It doesn't.

Just disconnect...

Also read a majority of modern divorce documents cite ‘Facebook’ to some capacity. Don’t have source as I’m mobile. It’s real.

[Lady Jane]

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

This is true, but think about who made the kids that way - their parents.

A teacher friend and neighbor, has a combined grade one and two class. She once told me about an experience she had.

" I didn't know WTF was wrong with that kid until I met the parents".


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[erickonphoenix]

Originally Posted by Lady Jane

A teacher friend and neighbor, has a combined grade one and two class. She once told me about an experience she had.

" I didn't know WTF was wrong with that kid until I met the parents".


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My mom was a teacher in the 70s before she changed careers. The antagonistic relationship between parents and teachers is nothing new. We tend to reflect on past generations with a biased lens.

In reality every generation has strengths and weaknesses. When I graduated high school in 1984 they called us a bunch of nihilist slackers which was kinda true. Raised during the height of the cold war most of us thought it was 50/50 we'd die in a nuclear war so we tended not to value long term plans much.

Now as a 55 year old I've got nothing but millennials on my team. I find they are a bit sensitive about their values, shock easily but they also value their work and tend not to "stall out" on projects when solutions aren't readily obvious. But I'm sure in 20 years they'll bitch about the generation behind them for some trait or trend.

FYI, I remember my grandmother telling me she used to get in trouble for reading too many books. My great grandfather would literally pull them out of her hands and tell her she needed to get her head out of those stories and concentrate on real tangible activities.

[spazzyfry123]

Originally Posted by Lady Jane

That's what got me started on this thread. We had an eleven year old last night admitted for swallowing an entire box of Nyquil with some Vodka seltzers. We pumped her stomach probably just in time as she was starting getting seizures and really bad nystagmus.

The cause of all this drama, that had the potential of being lethal was........Un-friended by some of her classmates.

[iminhell1]

Replace 'social media available on mobile'
With 'first iPhone available in the USA'.
Maybe iPhones are killers?
We should find a study.


Social media was available long before the smart phone came around. The phone didn't open up to a whole new world of mean people.
There are actually a lot of catalysts in that 2006-2009 time that all could be to blame for a rise in suicide.


And just because I'm curious, what is the common methodology of suicides from that graph?
Is there possibly a drug that came about in that time which is readily available ...