That awkward moment when...

1MOREMOD · 10-28-2015, 11:30 PM

You get 2 pumps in and lose it.

VB5ER · 10-28-2015, 11:32 PM

It's just a finger so quit staring

1smokehouse · 10-29-2015, 12:10 AM

.

ASBSECU E93 · 10-29-2015, 12:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stage1

..when you think you are walking into an empty bathroom at work cause the automatic lights are off and then you see feet under the stall (wtf who shits that long at work)

Ha Ha!!!! They were sleeping!!!

ASBSECU E93 · 10-29-2015, 12:24 AM

That moment when....you get home and REALLY need to take a piss, and decide to go in the yard. The hot neighbor just happens to be in her yard and looks your way - but you don't stop

Lups · 10-29-2015, 12:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VB5ER

It's just a finger so quit staring

I know a female who wanted to celebrate her love for knitting and her kids with a tattoo. The moment I saw it, puke came up and there I was sober trying to find anything I can say to fix it.

"I'm pregnant!!!! Sorry, I can't help myself!"

Next week I had a miscarriage, which was an other horrible lie but the tattoo was that bad and I have a tendency to be really sick in the presence of food while pregnant and it was all I had. It was like the worst five seconds and I still can not believe THAT was the lie I came up with.

VB5ER · 10-29-2015, 01:36 AM

You had me at "I know a female"/ That sounded like one long ass awkward moment

alexng72 · 10-29-2015, 02:10 AM

when you put everything in place but forgot to plug in some cables or put on some screws...

Axius · 10-29-2015, 08:00 AM

When you're making sweet love to your girlfriend and her husband comes home early and you have to climb out the window with nothing but your knickers on.

EALm4 · 10-29-2015, 08:14 AM

...when you realize it's thursday instead of friday.

upstatedoc · 10-29-2015, 09:04 AM

...when you ask a women "when are you due" and she says she isn't pregnant.

a co-worker did this several years back to another co-worker. I pretended I didn't hear a thing..

EALm4 · 10-29-2015, 09:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by upstatedoc

...when you ask a women "when are you due" and she says she isn't pregnant.

a co-worker did this several years back to another co-worker. I pretended I didn't hear a thing..

I've done it too. Not cool. Wasnt as subtle as above. It was "OH When'd you get prego???"

Mr Tonka · 10-29-2015, 10:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VB5ER

Uhhh, this

This!

One morning while in the shower i was thinking about the weight i'd been loosing. And then i thought it would be cool to have a time-lapse gif of me slimming down. So i hop out of the shower and decided to start that day by taking a picture of me in a full length mirror. Then again the next week and again and again..... after about 5 of them i thought to myself.... maybe it would have been better to take those pics with some underwear on.....

Now no one gets to swipe on my phone and i don't swipe for them cause i don't even know where they are!

I know, TMI. Sorry.

Mr Tonka · 10-29-2015, 10:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Biorin

My phone now corrects "totally" to "tits."

Your phone learns what you type and begins to auto correct to what it thinks you are normally talking about.

Biorin · 10-29-2015, 10:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr Tonka

Quote:

Originally Posted by Biorin

My phone now corrects "totally" to "tits."

Your phone learns what you type and begins to auto correct to what it thinks you are normally talking about.

It also learns your contacts, such as one "fuck shit bitch tits ass" in mine.

Mr Tonka · 10-29-2015, 10:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Biorin

It also learns your contacts, such as one "fuck shit bitch tits ass" in mine.

Is that Lups' contact name?

UglyBuzzard · 10-29-2015, 10:42 AM

Going to a yoga class to see the lovely ladies in their skin tights and realizing yoga is harder than football practice.

EALm4 · 10-29-2015, 10:47 AM

you sit down in an airport stall to dump. then realize there's no tp once the first dookie comes out.

EALm4 · 10-29-2015, 10:49 AM

that moment when you sent a dick pic to your girl on snap chat but accidentally added it to your story.

UncleWede · 10-29-2015, 10:50 AM

When you want to test the spouse's knowledge of current slang, then send "Netflix and Chill?" to the wrong person

EALm4 · 10-29-2015, 10:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UncleWede

When you want to test the spouse's knowledge of current slang, then send "Netflix and Chill?" to the wrong person

Axius · 10-29-2015, 10:56 AM

That awkward moment when you trust the wrong fart.

10-28-2015, 11:30 PM	#23
1MOREMOD - 11820 Rep 23,186 Posts Drives: Race car-> Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: check your mirrors iTrader: (5)	You get 2 pumps in and lose it.
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10-28-2015, 11:32 PM	#24
VB5ER Second Lieutenant 177 Rep 257 Posts Drives: Space Grey 2011 535i Join Date: Jun 2015 Location: United States iTrader: (0)	It's just a finger so quit staring Attached Images
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10-29-2015, 12:10 AM	#25
1smokehouse Second Lieutenant 138 Rep 253 Posts Drives: 2013 128i LE Join Date: Feb 2015 Location: Guam iTrader: (0) Garage List 2013 BMW 128i LE [9.00]	. Attached Images __________________ // '13 BSM 128i Limited Edition //
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10-29-2015, 01:36 AM	#29
VB5ER Second Lieutenant 177 Rep 257 Posts Drives: Space Grey 2011 535i Join Date: Jun 2015 Location: United States iTrader: (0)	You had me at "I know a female"/ That sounded like one long ass awkward moment
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10-29-2015, 02:10 AM	#30
alexng72 Lieutenant 147 Rep 503 Posts Drives: 2015 F32 435i Black Msport Join Date: Oct 2015 Location: Mason, OH iTrader: (0)	when you put everything in place but forgot to plug in some cables or put on some screws...
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10-29-2015, 08:00 AM	#31
Axius Banned 4199 Rep 216 Posts Drives: 612 Scaglietti Join Date: Sep 2015 Location: Watch Me NayNay iTrader: (0)	When you're making sweet love to your girlfriend and her husband comes home early and you have to climb out the window with nothing but your knickers on.
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10-29-2015, 08:14 AM	#32
EALm4 Colonel 3360 Rep 2,009 Posts Drives: SO 16' M4 Join Date: Sep 2015 Location: Baltimore iTrader: (1)	...when you realize it's thursday instead of friday.
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10-29-2015, 09:04 AM	#33
upstatedoc I'll get back to you 7535 Rep 2,132 Posts Drives: blue streak Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: not downstate iTrader: (2)	...when you ask a women "when are you due" and she says she isn't pregnant. a co-worker did this several years back to another co-worker. I pretended I didn't hear a thing.. __________________ 2018 Stinger GT 2009 E90 N51 /Active Autowerke Stage 2 tune/BMW Performance Exhaust/ Countermeasure enthusiast.
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10-29-2015, 10:42 AM	#39
UglyBuzzard Colonel 6342 Rep 2,329 Posts Drives: F90 / M5 Join Date: Oct 2015 Location: SoCal iTrader: (0)	Going to a yoga class to see the lovely ladies in their skin tights and realizing yoga is harder than football practice.
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10-29-2015, 10:47 AM	#40
EALm4 Colonel 3360 Rep 2,009 Posts Drives: SO 16' M4 Join Date: Sep 2015 Location: Baltimore iTrader: (1)	you sit down in an airport stall to dump. then realize there's no tp once the first dookie comes out.
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10-29-2015, 10:49 AM	#41
EALm4 Colonel 3360 Rep 2,009 Posts Drives: SO 16' M4 Join Date: Sep 2015 Location: Baltimore iTrader: (1)	that moment when you sent a dick pic to your girl on snap chat but accidentally added it to your story.
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10-29-2015, 10:50 AM	#42
UncleWede Long Time Admirer, First Time Owner 18405 Rep 9,422 Posts Drives: G01 X3 M40i Dark Graphite Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Oxnard, CA iTrader: (0)	When you want to test the spouse's knowledge of current slang, then send "Netflix and Chill?" to the wrong person
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10-29-2015, 10:56 AM	#44
Axius Banned 4199 Rep 216 Posts Drives: 612 Scaglietti Join Date: Sep 2015 Location: Watch Me NayNay iTrader: (0)	That awkward moment when you trust the wrong fart.
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