Friends & Family

unluky · 09-24-2021, 09:33 AM

The extremes - yes. If you are 400 pounds and do nothing about it and continue to eat like crap and your weight starts to effects others (have to help you, have to go where you can use a scooter, etc) then I do judge.

But I am from parents with 16 bothers and sisters (9 for my dad and 8 for my mom) and I have seen some of them that worked out like mad have their bodies break down later in life, possibly from over use and it made me rethink things. I had 3 aunts & uncles that lived into their 90's (and being born in the 20-30's, that is saying something) and 2 were active right to the end. The things they had in common were they controlled their weight (not washboard abs, just kept their weight reasonably close to normal BMI, etc) and not one of them was a crazy work out junkie like a few of their siblings.

I think it is a balance, if you take genetics out of it. I believe 100% keeping the weight off helps. But I also think wearing your body out when you are young can be counter productive. I no longer run. Keeping my joints has become a focus in my 50's. I still lift weights, but I don't lift heavy anymore. Everyone is different, but all we can do is take care of ourselves and the ones we love the best we can.

Humans are self destructive - it's in our nature. More people are smoking in the world today than EVER before - which boggles my mind. No one can claim that it is not bad for you, so everyone doing it knows they are harming themselves, yet they still do it. When you are 25, double your ideal weight, can see your feet are purple, but still turn into McD's for your daily dose - you know what you are doing to yourself.

Just like saving $ - some will be obsessed with it and some will have no concern at all with it. I suspect it has always been that way and always will be.

floridaorange · 09-24-2021, 02:30 PM

I'm with you on most of that - but just about anyone can swim or sit on a stationary bike a few days a week and break a sweat and eat a salad. I'm referring to ppl who are highly educated and former athletes in most cases. I took a big step back from heavy weights - during covid - to focus on keeping my 2 businesses running, and my wife and 2 kids had a lot of my time and energy… Now I'm getting back into the routine and it feels absolutely amazing.

It's just sad to watch those you love and live a few minute walk from - not even try, but always complain their life is a mess. Yr after yr, that shit gets bloody old……. really old. On the flip side I get less and less tolerant hearing about how things aren't going well for them.

Yes - I'll be ok - It's just lame to choose not to
try, and simultaneously load your 60 yr old Mom up with your personal problems. Honestly it's her I am trying to protect, from my self destructive Dad and sister who are both very overweight - don't try to not be - and don't care.

JP10 · 09-24-2021, 03:18 PM

My dad is a smidge on the heavy size, maybe 270lbs, he is also quite tall like 6' 4". With that said he is not obese or anything - just a firm gut on him. My brothers and I still rag on him when we get the chance hahaha, then my step-mom chimes in and he starts rolling his eyes. Fricking rich, almost laughing typing about it. Now if it ever got to the point where I was drastically concerned with his health I would intervene, but for the time being we just make fun of him.

My mom struggles with her weight and has thyroid issues. What bothers me is she has a drastic misunderstanding of how metabolisms work. Now she is also going through menopause so that isn't helping anything. But she will only eat dinner and be confused why she won't lose any weight. I tell her that she is essentially stunting her metabolism and that she needs to eat in moderation through the day in order to get it back on track. She also refuses to drink any water - you know the saying, but this is in a literal sense!

Anyways, I try to help her every chance I can when she has questions. I come home and she is on track, then I leave and it all goes to hell again. And she isn't even heavy, she just wants to be thin again.

Bunnny · 09-25-2021, 02:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by floridaorange

Do you judge your aging friends and family that do Not give their diet or exercise any time or attention at all?

The older I get, the more I question those in my family or friends i've known most my life who literally don't ever workout or eat right.

I kinda feel guilty for being more disciplined in the overall health department, than many in my family and many of my friends….

Don't feel guilty. Peers need role models even, and it's a beneficial to bring an example of good health around.

I solved my own health issue with lifestyle changes (diet, exercise, hyperbaric therapy), and I live a normal life. Before me, I watched my dad also take his health into his own hands, refuse a triple bypass doctors claimed he would die without, 180'd his diet and lifestyle, and that was 27 years ago. He is very healthy and sharp minded for 83 today. It was good to have him as a role model before my own issue, seeing that doctor's also didn't seem to have any realistic treatment options.

Im seeing a friend go through the exact same health issue and struggles as my own, but they're not at rock bottom yet, so I know they're listening, but not considering. They'll still drink hard liqours, smoke cigars, eat gluten and all the triggers that cause flare ups. I repeat myself and check in because I care about them regardless if they're listening or not. His wife asks me though for more tips and help

, so I know someone also cares about him. :lol
Some people just don't change their habits, but that sort of change has to come from within.

chassis · 09-25-2021, 09:01 AM

I have cajoled for years people in my extended family to eat better and exercise. It hasn't worked. Lay's Potato Chips still feature prominently in their diet, as heavy snacking and gulping down a beer right before bed. It's gross, really. The individual is a near-saint otherwise.

Thankfully most in my extended family have some degree of diet and exercise regimen. Some are very physically fit.

floridaorange · 09-25-2021, 01:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JP10

My dad is a smidge on the heavy size, maybe 270lbs, he is also quite tall like 6' 4". With that said he is not obese or anything - just a firm gut on him. My brothers and I still rag on him when we get the chance hahaha, then my step-mom chimes in and he starts rolling his eyes. Fricking rich, almost laughing typing about it. Now if it ever got to the point where I was drastically concerned with his health I would intervene, but for the time being we just make fun of him.

My mom struggles with her weight and has thyroid issues. What bothers me is she has a drastic misunderstanding of how metabolisms work. Now she is also going through menopause so that isn't helping anything. But she will only eat dinner and be confused why she won't lose any weight. I tell her that she is essentially stunting her metabolism and that she needs to eat in moderation through the day in order to get it back on track. She also refuses to drink any water - you know the saying, but this is in a literal sense!

Anyways, I try to help her every chance I can when she has questions. I come home and she is on track, then I leave and it all goes to hell again. And she isn't even heavy, she just wants to be thin again.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JP10

My dad is a smidge on the heavy size, maybe 270lbs, he is also quite tall like 6' 4". With that said he is not obese or anything - just a firm gut on him. My brothers and I still rag on him when we get the chance hahaha, then my step-mom chimes in and he starts rolling his eyes. Fricking rich, almost laughing typing about it. Now if it ever got to the point where I was drastically concerned with his health I would intervene, but for the time being we just make fun of him.

My mom struggles with her weight and has thyroid issues. What bothers me is she has a drastic misunderstanding of how metabolisms work. Now she is also going through menopause so that isn't helping anything. But she will only eat dinner and be confused why she won't lose any weight. I tell her that she is essentially stunting her metabolism and that she needs to eat in moderation through the day in order to get it back on track. She also refuses to drink any water - you know the saying, but this is in a literal sense!

Anyways, I try to help her every chance I can when she has questions. I come home and she is on track, then I leave and it all goes to hell again. And she isn't even heavy, she just wants to be thin again.

My dad is about same - 6'5 280 diabetic due to diet.

chassis · 09-26-2021, 02:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JP10

My dad is a smidge on the heavy size, maybe 270lbs, he is also quite tall like 6' 4". With that said he is not obese or anything - just a firm gut on him. My brothers and I still rag on him when we get the chance hahaha, then my step-mom chimes in and he starts rolling his eyes. Fricking rich, almost laughing typing about it. Now if it ever got to the point where I was drastically concerned with his health I would intervene, but for the time being we just make fun of him.

My mom struggles with her weight and has thyroid issues. What bothers me is she has a drastic misunderstanding of how metabolisms work. Now she is also going through menopause so that isn't helping anything. But she will only eat dinner and be confused why she won't lose any weight. I tell her that she is essentially stunting her metabolism and that she needs to eat in moderation through the day in order to get it back on track. She also refuses to drink any water - you know the saying, but this is in a literal sense!

Anyways, I try to help her every chance I can when she has questions. I come home and she is on track, then I leave and it all goes to hell again. And she isn't even heavy, she just wants to be thin again.

270lbs and 6’4” is obese.

Thyroid issue or not, weight isn’t manufactured in the body. It is manufactured from food brought in primarily through the mouth.

People need to educate themselves for their own betterment.

DenverSteve · 09-26-2021, 03:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chassis

270lbs and 6’4” is obese. Thyroid issue or not, weight isn’t manufactured in the body. It is manufactured from food brought in primarily through the mouth. People need to educate themselves for their own betterment.

This. Most people don't realize what constitutes obese because of the "normal" they see daily.

MariaAllen · 11-05-2021, 06:30 AM

Everyone must take care of themselves

UncleWede · 11-05-2021, 01:09 PM

This just came up with my dad. He's 82 and recently had a difficult time with life. He's had debilitating pain from shingles since Christmas 2019.

He asked us brothers for some help. He knows his mind is going, and pretty soon, I'm told, the checking accounts will be turned over to me.

Last Sunday, 3 of us where at teh house. Again, he had asked for some help. He doesn't have a regualr Dr., gets confused with all the meds, and so we were organizing them. Then the bro who is a PT showed up and suddenly 'You have to do this, do that" and my dad just shut down. He's not going to be lectured by his son.

Bros talked to him afterwards, let him know that tone won't fly. We are looking now for a 3rd party to come in and give him that lecture.

There was a celebratory text sent out yesterday: Dad agreed to an enema and had a movement" !!!!!

09-24-2021, 09:33 AM	#23
unluky Major 7675 Rep 1,261 Posts Drives: 04 z4 3.0 Sport & 15 X5 35i XD Join Date: Aug 2013 Location: Sedalia, MO iTrader: (0) Garage List 2015 BMW X5 XDrive 35i [0.50] 2004 BMW Z4 3.0 Spo ... [0.00]	The extremes - yes. If you are 400 pounds and do nothing about it and continue to eat like crap and your weight starts to effects others (have to help you, have to go where you can use a scooter, etc) then I do judge. But I am from parents with 16 bothers and sisters (9 for my dad and 8 for my mom) and I have seen some of them that worked out like mad have their bodies break down later in life, possibly from over use and it made me rethink things. I had 3 aunts & uncles that lived into their 90's (and being born in the 20-30's, that is saying something) and 2 were active right to the end. The things they had in common were they controlled their weight (not washboard abs, just kept their weight reasonably close to normal BMI, etc) and not one of them was a crazy work out junkie like a few of their siblings. I think it is a balance, if you take genetics out of it. I believe 100% keeping the weight off helps. But I also think wearing your body out when you are young can be counter productive. I no longer run. Keeping my joints has become a focus in my 50's. I still lift weights, but I don't lift heavy anymore. Everyone is different, but all we can do is take care of ourselves and the ones we love the best we can. Humans are self destructive - it's in our nature. More people are smoking in the world today than EVER before - which boggles my mind. No one can claim that it is not bad for you, so everyone doing it knows they are harming themselves, yet they still do it. When you are 25, double your ideal weight, can see your feet are purple, but still turn into McD's for your daily dose - you know what you are doing to yourself. Just like saving $ - some will be obsessed with it and some will have no concern at all with it. I suspect it has always been that way and always will be. __________________ 2015 X5 XDrive 35i - 2004 Z4 3.0 Sport
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09-24-2021, 03:18 PM	#25
JP10 Major 2476 Rep 1,143 Posts Drives: M3 Join Date: Jan 2018 Location: SC iTrader: (0)	My dad is a smidge on the heavy size, maybe 270lbs, he is also quite tall like 6' 4". With that said he is not obese or anything - just a firm gut on him. My brothers and I still rag on him when we get the chance hahaha, then my step-mom chimes in and he starts rolling his eyes. Fricking rich, almost laughing typing about it. Now if it ever got to the point where I was drastically concerned with his health I would intervene, but for the time being we just make fun of him. My mom struggles with her weight and has thyroid issues. What bothers me is she has a drastic misunderstanding of how metabolisms work. Now she is also going through menopause so that isn't helping anything. But she will only eat dinner and be confused why she won't lose any weight. I tell her that she is essentially stunting her metabolism and that she needs to eat in moderation through the day in order to get it back on track. She also refuses to drink any water - you know the saying, but this is in a literal sense! Anyways, I try to help her every chance I can when she has questions. I come home and she is on track, then I leave and it all goes to hell again. And she isn't even heavy, she just wants to be thin again.
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09-25-2021, 09:01 AM	#27
chassis Colonel 8055 Rep 2,498 Posts Drives: 9Y0 Cayenne S Join Date: Mar 2019 Location: Einbahnstraße iTrader: (0) Garage List 2020 Porsche Cayenne S [7.69]	I have cajoled for years people in my extended family to eat better and exercise. It hasn't worked. Lay's Potato Chips still feature prominently in their diet, as heavy snacking and gulping down a beer right before bed. It's gross, really. The individual is a near-saint otherwise. Thankfully most in my extended family have some degree of diet and exercise regimen. Some are very physically fit.
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11-05-2021, 06:30 AM	#31
MariaAllen Banned 2 Rep 3 Posts Drives: Ford F30 Join Date: Nov 2021 Location: Los Angeles iTrader: (0)	Everyone must take care of themselves
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11-05-2021, 01:09 PM	#32
UncleWede Long Time Admirer, First Time Owner 18405 Rep 9,422 Posts Drives: G01 X3 M40i Dark Graphite Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Oxnard, CA iTrader: (0)	This just came up with my dad. He's 82 and recently had a difficult time with life. He's had debilitating pain from shingles since Christmas 2019. He asked us brothers for some help. He knows his mind is going, and pretty soon, I'm told, the checking accounts will be turned over to me. Last Sunday, 3 of us where at teh house. Again, he had asked for some help. He doesn't have a regualr Dr., gets confused with all the meds, and so we were organizing them. Then the bro who is a PT showed up and suddenly 'You have to do this, do that" and my dad just shut down. He's not going to be lectured by his son. Bros talked to him afterwards, let him know that tone won't fly. We are looking now for a 3rd party to come in and give him that lecture. There was a celebratory text sent out yesterday: Dad agreed to an enema and had a movement" !!!!!
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