If You're Having a Bad Day...

[Lups]

Originally Posted by UncleWede

Aren't there medical advances that can help with that "monthly condition" these days? Midol comes to mind as a brand I've heard advertised.

I ain't rollerblading with a poodle here!

[Kev312]

Originally Posted by Never_Enough

I am surprised a bunch of male posters have not already tried to volunteer...

Right? Bunch of disgusting pigs.

Originally Posted by UncleWede

Because ironing-boys aren't supposed to wear speedos to work?

Helper boys aren't allowed to choose what they wear unfortunately.

Originally Posted by Lups

This is the best idea ever given to me via this forum since the pool boy search of 2014!

Legend has it that he never actually drowned and "mysteriously" disappeared, it was all a hoax, but yet he still remains to be found.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by Kev312

Right? Bunch of disgusting pigs.



Helper boys aren't allowed to choose what they wear unfortunately.



Legend has it that he never actually drowned and "mysteriously" disappeared, it was all a hoax, but yet he still remains to be found.

Oh I still have my dear ole Billie in speed dial! Out of all the men I've ever known, he sure had a way with his leaf catcher!

Edit: I'm still bored out of my mind, and still in bed rest basically so don't mind my bad commentary.

[UncleWede]

When the going gets tough, Lups goes to bed

[Lups]

Originally Posted by UncleWede

When the going gets tough, Lups goes to bed

Don't fuck with me, I might cry like a girl on you!

Nah, the back and side are fine, the muscles are just so fucking worn out I'm not risking it yet. I'm not into the whole sparingly using force thing so I'm trying the doctors way this time for healing since mime wasn't so successful.

[Lups]

I'm seriously going to investigate a cure for multiplying furniture.

[UncleWede]

Originally Posted by Lups

I'm seriously going to investigate a cure for multiplying furniture.

Now you know why they put "sheets" on the furniture when people leave a house for extended periods.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by UncleWede

Now you know why they put "sheets" on the furniture when people leave a house for extended periods.

I'm copying that!!! And I'm going to patent that!

[UncleWede]

Will be happy with a small finder's fee sent in the form of goats to underprivileged families

[Lups]

Originally Posted by UncleWede

Will be happy with a small finder's fee sent in the form of goats to underprivileged families

Sexy ass pics and hair management tips gets you goats! This tip will be stolen and all you get is an evil laugh that'll ring in your ears forever!

[UncleWede]

Originally Posted by Lups

Sexy ass pics and hair management tips gets you goats! This tip will be stolen and all you get is an evil laugh that'll ring in your ears forever!

Doc, I have this ringing in my ears. Nothing I do makes it go away.

[Captain Blood]

Originally Posted by Lups

Sexy ass pics and hair management tips gets you goats! This tip will be stolen and all you get is an evil laugh that'll ring in your ears forever!

I'll take that laugh!


It's been a boring day here......

[Lups]

We're getting nothing done, my friends...

On wed-thur night my sis and I were supposed to haul around furniture but I went all adult on my own fucking ass and only after one couch I declared my back and side were giving out warnings so we should stop.

I'm telling you guys, even quoting senator McCain will not make me feel better about that brief moment of body conscious adulting. It sucks to be afraid of physical pain.

[UncleWede]

There's still hope (for your husband's sake) then that eventually you will give up this idea of squeezing ANOTHER watermelon out of a hole designed for a lemon? It's NOT a clown car.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by UncleWede

There's still hope (for your husband's sake) then that eventually you will give up this idea of squeezing ANOTHER watermelon out of a hole designed for a lemon? It's NOT a clown car.

Oh come the fuck on, I have the credentials for staying tight, for keeping it real!

Actually, this is a serious topic so I shall adress it as such.

Even as a kid I kept wondering wtf people were talking about when they said they laughed so hard they peed their pants. When our first kid was born, my first question to the doctor was how I could strengthen my muscles enough to prevent elderly wet pants and I got a weird look from her, undeserved in my view since the kid was out in one push. Seriously, in the medical record, one minute is the recorded pushing time

Anyway, the doctor, who also examined me said she thinks I will be okay. In Finland we have this thing where the midwives inspect the kids and the mother's for months after birth to ensure all is going okay and that was always my question, how not to wet my pants.

When I was expecting our second kid, I volunteered at this program where really young mothers , mostly single ones would have a prego buddy. Mine was a midwife student so I asked her why that was the answer I got.

She had access to my medical files and she started to wonder it also, after she read mine.

Apparently mine said that basically my muscle structure was weird. Apparently all that skating makes me an ice sculpture that pops out kids, and then goes back to "form".

That all was in my 20's.

I had a nice gynegologist appointment while on heavy dosage of muscle relaxants two weeks ago. My guy is way past his prime and since he saw I was on meds that makes women leak like crazy, he asked me how I handle the side effect. I told him I haven't felt that, so he ran urine tests since I must have been dehydrated. I told him that that has never, not once in my life happened to me, even after giving birth so he insisted on doing a pelvic muscle exam (if one doesn't know, it's basically two fingers up in your vagina, and you have to clamp down on them.) I told him that if I do that, I will end up coughing and that it will be not conventional. He had his students there so he was trying to prove a point, muscle relaxants and a few kids equals wet pants.

Well, he didn't get what he wanted, he got the coughing fit but no leaking, and I was fully hydrated. He said to his students that skaters have cyborg muscle control. Since I had six doctors and a specialist in the room, I asked again, if I should do something to help my bladder for the years to come and he gave me a tip.

"If you want to have sex, lubrication, even external is a good idea."

I gathered from that that I could push out a kid or five out and still be okay, but also that the penises i made bleed (literally) in my wilder days (My then fiance and funnily enough the rebound after him) might have not been so wrong then they shouted out the age old words "please don't squeeze me more" for fun.

Sorry, not sorry, I'm big on kids. As told here back in the days when I lived in the usa, I babysat a fosterbaby 12-18 hours a day for free. I'm also always a free babysitter to all my friends kids no matter the age since I would have eight of my own by now if I had any talent at being pregnant.

[******]

Originally Posted by Lups

Oh come the fuck on, I have the credentials for staying tight, for keeping it real!

Actually, this is a serious topic so I shall adress it as such.

Even as a kid I kept wondering wtf people were talking about when they said they laughed so hard they peed their pants. When our first kid was born, my first question to the doctor was how I could strengthen my muscles enough to prevent elderly wet pants and I got a weird look from her, undeserved in my view since the kid was out in one push. Seriously, in the medical record, one minute is the recorded pushing time

Anyway, the doctor, who also examined me said she thinks I will be okay. In Finland we have this thing where the midwives inspect the kids and the mother's for months after birth to ensure all is going okay and that was always my question, how not to wet my pants.

When I was expecting our second kid, I volunteered at this program where really young mothers , mostly single ones would have a prego buddy. Mine was a midwife student so I asked her why that was the answer I got.

She had access to my medical files and she started to wonder it also, after she read mine.

Apparently mine said that basically my muscle structure was weird. Apparently all that skating makes me an ice sculpture that pops out kids, and then goes back to "form".

That all was in my 20's.

I had a nice gynegologist appointment while on heavy dosage of muscle relaxants two weeks ago. My guy is way past his prime and since he saw I was on meds that makes women leak like crazy, he asked me how I handle the side effect. I told him I haven't felt that, so he ran urine tests since I must have been dehydrated. I told him that that has never, not once in my life happened to me, even after giving birth so he insisted on doing a pelvic muscle exam (if one doesn't know, it's basically two fingers up in your vagina, and you have to clamp down on them.) I told him that if I do that, I will end up coughing and that it will be not conventional. He had his students there so he was trying to prove a point, muscle relaxants and a few kids equals wet pants.

Well, he didn't get what he wanted, he got the coughing fit but no leaking, and I was fully hydrated. He said to his students that skaters have cyborg muscle control. Since I had six doctors and a specialist in the room, I asked again, if I should do something to help my bladder for the years to come and he gave me a tip.

"If you want to have sex, lubrication, even external is a good idea."

I gathered from that that I could push out a kid or five out and still be okay, but also that the penises i made bleed (literally) in my wilder days (My then fiance and funnily enough the rebound after him) might have not been so wrong then they shouted out the age old words "please don't squeeze me more" for fun.

Sorry, not sorry, I'm big on kids. As told here back in the days when I lived in the usa, I babysat a fosterbaby 12-18 hours a day for free. I'm also always a free babysitter to all my friends kids no matter the age since I would have eight of my own by now if I had any talent at being pregnant.

Hmmm, am going to check out the skating rinks for my next girlfriend... don’t tell my wife.

[UncleWede]

So, those Kegel/Ben-Wa balls I put on lay-away for you for Christmas, I should cancel?

When you ask the wife for recipes, do NOT mention any of the above, she would be very jealous of your ability to cough dry.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by Herdalum

Hmmm, am going to check out the skating rinks for my next girlfriend... don’t tell my wife.

If it helps, at all, no lube needed here!

If you didn't read the op and anything I've written here after it, I'm really good at pissing my husband off. I'm pretty sure I'd do it to all men too. So while my muscles are epic, and I'm in the perfect age when hormones makes me beg for sex daily, my husband, and every man who knows me at all withholds me because they can!

Keep it in your wife... or stick it in your wife. Be exclusive about that

[Lups]

Originally Posted by UncleWede

So, those Kegel/Ben-Wa balls I put on lay-away for you for Christmas, I should cancel?

When you ask the wife for recipes, do NOT mention any of the above, she would be very jealous of your ability to cough dry.

Not joking bro, (as said, I volunteer with mothers even now since I can.) I can in five minutes teach her what to do 5 minutes per day for a month and then 10 minutes every month and she will be rid of it.

Tell her that and she'll be my wife and I will be even more fat and all you'll have is your modelling ready hair!

[Mingwan]

If you’re having a bad day:

Realize it’s a long weekend for most of us. Enjoy.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by Mingwan

If you’re having a bad day:

Realize it’s a long weekend for most of us. Enjoy.

Oh come the fuck on, this thread is about how to destroy an illusion. I'm a long time member, known for my looks as the hottest 48 year obese male here. Think of all the people who've sent their dick picks to me over the years!

That's a bad day, an every day bad day! And that's before we got into the vagina balls!

Edit. This thread is just for fun, to make fun. I don't have a need to be cruel

[Mingwan]

Originally Posted by Lups

Oh come the fuck on, this thread is about how to destroy an illusion. I'm a long time member, known for my looks as the hottest 48 year obese male here. Think of all the people who've sent their dick picks to me over the years!

That's a bad day, an every day bad day! And that's before we got into the vagina balls!

pics or youre lying