Dating - Good/Bad Experiences

[Turkish Pickle]

Originally Posted by upstatedoc

You have much to learn about marriage grasshopper

sensei pls explain, isnt marriage all that media makes it out to be??? is hollywood really tricking us?

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by UncleWede

Did you guys already forget about steak/bj day?? If u want me to hold out until after VD, fair plays dictates we go clear to SBJD

Originally Posted by Bayerische Motoren Werke

this day sounds like an awesome one, is it a perk of marriage?

Originally Posted by upstatedoc

You have much to learn about marriage grasshopper

Originally Posted by Bayerische Motoren Werke

sensei pls explain, isnt marriage all that media makes it out to be??? is hollywood really tricking us?

Ditchjumper, all you need to know about marriage can be summed up in one joke:

What is the number one killer of libido in women? Wedding Cake.

You're welcome.

[UncleWede]

It used to be wine, women, and song

Now it's beer, the old lady, and TV

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by UncleWede

It used to be wine, women, and song

Now it's beer, the old lady, and TV

And not necessarily in that order.

[Chihuahua]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

...is it too much to ask for someone to get motivated and do something, with not only their life, but with me as well?

No, and you shouldn't have to ask.

my $.02

[******]

Originally Posted by Bayerische Motoren Werke

this day sounds like an awesome one, is it a perk of marriage?

Yes

[Turkish Pickle]

hour 19 in turkey: no hot girls to even just look at and walk by. holy shit never really realized how ugly we were. on the bright side, tinder is popping because all the "americanized" (read: turk girls who study in the states) are back home for Christmas


please send help

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by Bayerische Motoren Werke

hour 19 in turkey: no hot girls to even just look at and walk by. holy shit never really realized how ugly we were. on the bright side, tinder is popping because all the "americanized" (read: turk girls who study in the states) are back home for Christmas


please send help

Do you want Help or "Help"?

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by Chihuahua

No, and you shouldn't have to ask.

my $.02

+1

[upstatedoc]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

She has some great qualities and I don't take these for granted but the areas lacking are of great concern.

any update?

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by cmyx6go

After your initial post I was going to say breathe. Something set you off and got blown out of proportion for whatever reason. Something else going on, take a bit and cool off. But after reading your subsequent posts I feel differently. It seems to me it’s just about the sex and keeping you occupied. Granted that being a good person and being faithful is huge in my book, if you have nothing in common outside the bedroom where is it going? And you already know she will get hurt.

Where is her head on your future? I’m sure she’s thinking 2 1/2 years, where is this going and maybe senses the answer is nowhere but won’t dare utter a word for fear of it being true. If she ignores it, maybe it will be ok. I also haven’t seen you say you love her. I think you know the answer deep down.

Love, to me, is relative. I do love her but I've also grown accustomed to keeping my feelings and emotions in check. Although I may not make public displays or openly state how I feel, she does know how I feel about her. We actually discussed, a few nights ago, my future plans. I had planned on selling my house and relocating in the next few years and although this may still happen, it won't happen soon.

With the prior posts made, I still do appreciate who she is as a person and I do love her. Probably more than I want to admit because I'm terrified of a multitude of issues that come along with the L word.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by upstatedoc

any update?

After our discussion a few days ago she has made some changes in a few areas. She let me know that her lack of initiative isn't due to not wanting it but more so of her respecting my time schedule and understanding how busy I am and not wanting to be pushy and give me time to unwind rather than being all up in my shit as soon as I'm still for 5 minutes.

On related news with the kids, Christmas day I took her kids some presents and ate dinner with them. The youngest, who is more than a handful, instantly starts acting like he was on meth the second he saw me presents. As soon as dinner was ready and after telling him to come to the table several times, the girlfriend had to literally go grab him by the hand and drag him to his chair. He never put his toy gun down or broke line if sight of the TV. I'm pretty sure he didn't even realize she was dragging him. The entire time we were eating, he was either crying because he couldn't have his toy at the table or was trying to get away so he could see what was on TV.

She could see how annoyed her mother and I were with the fact that nothing was really being done to wrangle him or put a stop to it and she didn't know what to say or how to act. After dinner I sat down with the kids and helped them put their toys together. Of course the youngest wanted to argue with me about how I was doing it wrong so I told him if he knew how to do it just finish it himself. He broke it and then spent 20 minutes crying about it. I noticed several times that the daughter smarted off to her mom about different things and nothing was ever said to her about her mouth.

The reason I mention all of this is that I feel like rather than put an end to this behavior, it's easier for the girlfriend to just let them act this way in order to keep the drama down. From my point of view this is only making it worse. Until she can get some form of control over them I have to keep my time around them limited as I will eventually say something and end up being the asshole.

[UncleWede]

Help her out - asshole

not support her by helping out - asshole

Post on here: At least we like you as an asshole

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by UncleWede

Help her out - asshole

not support her by helping out - asshole

Post on here: At least we like you as an asshole

That's a relief.

[Turkish Pickle]

Originally Posted by MKSixer

Do you want Help or "Help"?

preferably i'd want something more real than pornhub/tinder for the time im here, but on the flip side i'm not staying a long time this time around so i think i'll be okay...

do elaborate on the different kinds of help though

[Alfisti]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

The reason I mention all of this is that I feel like rather than put an end to this behavior, it's easier for the girlfriend to just let them act this way in order to keep the drama down. From my point of view this is only making it worse. Until she can get some form of control over them I have to keep my time around them limited as I will eventually say something and end up being the asshole.

This is modern parenting though, it's how it's done. Neurotic white women ruining kids one step at a time.

I step in, take control of situation, lay down ground rules and I'm called an arsehole.

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by Alfisti

This is modern parenting though, it's how it's done.

Yep, I see it in schools all the time. The parents want to be friends with their kids. They would rather be doing anything to make them feel happy instead of teaching them to deal with life. My parents were strict when I was growing up, and I hated it. All of my friends had cool "modern parents" as my siblings and I always thought. I was not friends with my parents back then at all, and was somewhat afraid of my father. Now we have a great relationship, are all successful, etc. Many of those kids I knew growing up haven't talked to their parents in years, have several kids with different partners, mountains of debt and criminal records, etc.

The problem is that dating a single parent is never easy, because you will ALWAYS be in a bad spot. She will always put the kids first before you, and since you are not the father, you have virtually no say in disciplining them. In some very rare cases the single parent will actually be open to guidance, but it really depends on the person, and why their child's other parent left.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

Yep, I see it in schools all the time. The parents want to be friends with their kids. They would rather be doing anything to make them feel happy instead of teaching them to deal with life. My parents were strict when I was growing up, and I hated it. All of my friends had cool "modern parents" as my siblings and I always thought. I was not friends with my parents back then at all, and was somewhat afraid of my father. Now we have a great relationship, are all successful, etc. Many of those kids I knew growing up haven't talked to their parents in years, have several kids with different partners, mountains of debt and criminal records, etc.

The problem is that dating a single parent is never easy, because you will ALWAYS be in a bad spot. She will always put the kids first before you, and since you are not the father, you have virtually no say in disciplining them. In some very rare cases the single parent will actually be open to guidance, but it really depends on the person, and why their child's other parent left.

I could not agree more with every single word.

[Alfisti]

Minding sister in laws kid, 2 years old, all i hear from him is "owie" and "scary", she's raising a beta male pussy.

[Germanauto]

Originally Posted by Alfisti

Minding sister in laws kid, 2 years old, all i hear from him is "owie" and "scary", she's raising a beta male pussy.

Simple, just serve him a can of whoop ass and he'll come around.

[c1pher]

Just a word of advice, tread carefully when attempting to raise some other dude’s kids. When you give them everything, wife included, you’re the man, when you disagree, you instantly lose any status. Not really my cup of tea. Plus where is the dad in all this? Is he long gone expecting some other sap to pay the bills or is he around? Either scenario doesn’t sound fun to me.

[Turkish Pickle]

Originally Posted by Alfisti

Minding sister in laws kid, 2 years old, all i hear from him is "owie" and "scary", she's raising a beta male pussy.

sad sad kid, please be a good uncle

Originally Posted by MGM135is

Just a word of advice, tread carefully when attempting to raise some other dude’s kids. When you give them everything, wife included, you’re the man, when you disagree, you instantly lose any status. Not really my cup of tea. Plus where is the dad in all this? Is he long gone expecting some other sap to pay the bills or is he around? Either scenario doesn’t sound fun to me.

idk, for me the idea of fathering someone else's mistakes just doesnt sound nice - the whole concept of single mothers just doesnt sound like a healthy thing in general hahah