BMW E60 5-Series Forum | 5Post.com  
BMW Garage BMW Meets Register Today's Posts  

Go Back   BMW E60 5-Series Forum | 5Post.com > BIMMERPOST Universal Forums > Off-Topic Discussions Board

Post Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
      04-16-2021, 10:59 AM   #2267
ramman434
Lieutenant
United_States
716
Rep
539
Posts

Drives: F30 335i
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Fort Lauderdale, FL

iTrader: (0)

I think you should just throw the stories up w/a bold headline. We'll take them all ROFL
__________________
'07 Montego Blue/Saddle Brown E92 335i - 6spd. - SOLD
'16 Carbon Black Metallic F10 535i M-Sport - TOTALED 11/21/21
'13 Black Sapphire Metallic F30 335i M-Sport - unknown charge pipe, MSport Exhaust, 20" 405M wheels, $61k MSRP, CF M4 Mirror caps & Spoiler, NGK plugs, Dinan Coils, BMS intake
Appreciate 2
Sedan_Clan26871.50
Murf99314095.00
      04-16-2021, 11:02 AM   #2268
Fly320s
Private First Class
United_States
1562
Rep
140
Posts

Drives: Car
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: NH

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
2020 BMW M2C  [5.50]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan View Post
I wish I could upload my body cam video of the meth head who offered fellatio in exchange for his release. He said he'd gum me up real nice.




Do you want to hear the story about the woman with a .380 in her vagina?
That depends. Was she a good bang?
Appreciate 7
Littlebear3520.50
Sedan_Clan26871.50
BMWGUYinCO4323.00
Joekerr7921.50
paquet631.50
      04-16-2021, 11:03 AM   #2269
Sedan_Clan
Law Enforcer
Sedan_Clan's Avatar
Brazil
26872
Rep
22,695
Posts

Drives: '22 Chalk Gray Porsche C2S
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: ..in your rearview!!!

iTrader: (26)

Quote:
Originally Posted by rebekahb View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by ramman434 View Post
These are great stories. Please keep 'em coming. They're making Friday morning even better.
I wish I could upload my body cam video of the meth head who offered fellatio in exchange for his release. He said he'd gum me up real nice.




Do you want to hear the story about the woman with a .380 in her vagina?
You can't make this shit up.

Please keep me entertained while I clean my house.
Entertainment is here.

A few years ago, my partners contacted a heavy set African American female who had a felony warrant and a history of gun possession. During the detention, the female was asked the standard questions about weapons and/or drugs on her person. She was also advised a female would be performing an in-depth search; gotta keep those allegations to a minimum, right?!? The suspect stated she had nothing on her. When my female partner showed up to conduct a thorough search, she felt something slightly protruding from the suspect's vagina. Obviously this alerted my partner. Further questioning revealed it was a gun. This suspect stuffed a little .380 in one of her two nature's pockets because she didn't want to go back to jail.

I did not want to be the doctor/nurse tasked with removing that so she could be booked. lol!
Appreciate 4
ramman434716.00
Joekerr7921.50
mahalom3165.00
Murf99314095.00
      04-16-2021, 11:32 AM   #2270
mahalom3
Private First Class
165
Rep
112
Posts

Drives: 2018 M3 Comp Shakir Orange
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Rancho Cucamonga

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan View Post
I wish I could upload my body cam video of the meth head who offered fellatio in exchange for his release. He said he'd gum me up real nice.




Do you want to hear the story about the woman with a .380 in her vagina?
We had one too, She was booked in by CHP in one of our jails
__________________
Appreciate 1
Sedan_Clan26871.50
      04-16-2021, 12:09 PM   #2271
Vivek.
Lieutenant Colonel
1372
Rep
1,532
Posts

Drives: 335is coupe, e30 vert
Join Date: Aug 2020
Location: Los Gatos, California

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan View Post
I don't care about cars, although you're more likely to catch my attention in a Nissan Altima or Dodge Charger because gangsters love those two cars (...and Altima drivers are always dirty.....meaning, guns/dope/warrants).
I'm not sure how I feel about this level of prejudice coming straight from the horse's mouth but I completely agree with you
Quote:
Originally Posted by Murf993 View Post
So in Canada, the police can stop any vehicle to check that the driver is licensed, has proper registration and insurance. We also have this thing called "the judges rules" which stem from common law. Essentially the police can ask you just about anything, you don't necessarily have to answer but posing the question "what are you doing here" etc. isn't illegal or wrong.
It may not be illegal or wrong but it's frankly offensive to be questioned so many times about what I'm doing in the neighborhood that I live in.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by relative4 View Post
My wife would give me so much head if I did that.
2013 335is Mineral/Coral - DR 6466 - DR Mani - PI - Motiv FF - Dodson Clutches - OEM CF Roof - M3 GTS DCT/LSD/DS/Halfshafts/Suspension/Subframe/Brakes/Chassis Bracing F+R - DEFIV Diff Brace - 437M/R888R
2015 X5 35D - 1990 535i [RIP] - 1992 318i Convertible - 2002 540i/6
Appreciate 0
      04-16-2021, 12:18 PM   #2272
Sedan_Clan
Law Enforcer
Sedan_Clan's Avatar
Brazil
26872
Rep
22,695
Posts

Drives: '22 Chalk Gray Porsche C2S
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: ..in your rearview!!!

iTrader: (26)

Quote:
Originally Posted by mahalom3 View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan View Post
I wish I could upload my body cam video of the meth head who offered fellatio in exchange for his release. He said he'd gum me up real nice.




Do you want to hear the story about the woman with a .380 in her vagina?
We had one too, She was booked in by CHP in one of our jails
I need that story. Lol!


Quote:
Originally Posted by Vivek. View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan View Post
I don't care about cars, although you're more likely to catch my attention in a Nissan Altima or Dodge Charger because gangsters love those two cars (...and Altima drivers are always dirty.....meaning, guns/dope/warrants).
I'm not sure how I feel about this level of prejudice coming straight from the horse's mouth but I completely agree with you
Quote:
Originally Posted by Murf993 View Post
So in Canada, the police can stop any vehicle to check that the driver is licensed, has proper registration and insurance. We also have this thing called "the judges rules" which stem from common law. Essentially the police can ask you just about anything, you don't necessarily have to answer but posing the question "what are you doing here" etc. isn't illegal or wrong.
It may not be illegal or wrong but it's frankly offensive to be questioned so many times about what I'm doing in the neighborhood that I live in.
We're human and we notice patterns just like any other human. ....as evidenced by your statement. Gangsters/thugs love to emulate each other.
Appreciate 3
Murf99314095.00
mahalom3165.00
jmack548.50
      04-16-2021, 12:18 PM   #2273
Lady Jane
Cailín gan eagla.
Lady Jane's Avatar
Canada
81312
Rep
1,048
Posts

Drives: 2024 X3 M40i and R1200RT bike.
Join Date: Mar 2020
Location: Atlantic Canada.

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan View Post
Entertainment is here.

I did not want to be the doctor/nurse tasked with removing that so she could be booked. lol!
If a women can give birth to a 13lbs+ baby, she can probably hide a disassembled AR-15. And a couple of clips. And a tripod.
Appreciate 5
Sedan_Clan26871.50
Murf99314095.00
mahalom3165.00
      04-16-2021, 12:19 PM   #2274
Sedan_Clan
Law Enforcer
Sedan_Clan's Avatar
Brazil
26872
Rep
22,695
Posts

Drives: '22 Chalk Gray Porsche C2S
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: ..in your rearview!!!

iTrader: (26)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lady Jane View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan View Post
Entertainment is here.

I did not want to be the doctor/nurse tasked with removing that so she could be booked. lol!
If a women can give birth to a 13lbs+ baby, she can probably hide a disassembled AR-15. And a couple of clips. And a tripod.


The woman I nab with an AR15 in her vagina is getting a pass from me.
Appreciate 6
Murf99314095.00
mahalom3165.00
Vivek.1371.50
paquet631.50
      04-16-2021, 12:29 PM   #2275
Murf993
Major
Murf993's Avatar
14095
Rep
1,336
Posts

Drives: Porsche 993
Join Date: Mar 2020
Location: Dog Lake, South Frontenac, Ontario Canada

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan View Post


The woman I nab with an AR15 in her vagina is getting a pass from me.
So having done a ton of in custody deaths in provincial and federal prison you need to know that there are correct terms for this kind of thing.

Hooping is when you have a stash up your ass and suit casing refers to the vagina. Heres another fun fact for you moms and dads out there, the container of choice for smuggling drugs into jails is Kinder-eggs. I shit you not.
Appreciate 1
Sedan_Clan26871.50
      04-16-2021, 12:54 PM   #2276
paquet
Lieutenant
United_States
632
Rep
433
Posts

Drives: 2019 540i M Sport etc
Join Date: Sep 2020
Location: FL

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Murf993 View Post
So having done a ton of in custody deaths in provincial and federal prison you need to know that there are correct terms for this kind of thing.

Hooping is when you have a stash up your ass and suit casing refers to the vagina. Heres another fun fact for you moms and dads out there, the container of choice for smuggling drugs into jails is Kinder-eggs. I shit you not.
that reminds me - apparently this is a thing - cannot bring Kinder eggs into the US from Canada...)

(OK i'm sure that's not the reason, but still, funny to think so - to prevent contraband brought in rectally) surprise!
Appreciate 1
Murf99314095.00
      04-16-2021, 12:56 PM   #2277
BMWGUYinCO
Second Lieutenant
BMWGUYinCO's Avatar
4323
Rep
284
Posts

Drives: 22 M850 Convertible '23 X3 M40
Join Date: Apr 2020
Location: Colorado

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Murf993 View Post
Heres another fun fact for you moms and dads out there, the container of choice for smuggling drugs into jails is Kinder-eggs. I shit you not.
That's because they always have a fun surprise in them!!!!
Appreciate 1
Murf99314095.00
      04-16-2021, 01:12 PM   #2278
rebekahb
First Lieutenant
3207
Rep
320
Posts

Drives: 2020 X5 M50i
Join Date: Nov 2018
Location: New Orleans, LA

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by BMWGUYinCO View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Murf993 View Post
Heres another fun fact for you moms and dads out there, the container of choice for smuggling drugs into jails is Kinder-eggs. I shit you not.
That's because they always have a fun surprise in them!!!!
Whoever has to take those out better 3 glove up to the elbow. Lord only knows what kind of diseases are in that vaginal juice
Appreciate 0
      04-16-2021, 01:14 PM   #2279
mahalom3
Private First Class
165
Rep
112
Posts

Drives: 2018 M3 Comp Shakir Orange
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Rancho Cucamonga

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Murf993 View Post
So having done a ton of in custody deaths in provincial and federal prison you need to know that there are correct terms for this kind of thing.

Hooping is when you have a stash up your ass and suit casing refers to the vagina. Heres another fun fact for you moms and dads out there, the container of choice for smuggling drugs into jails is Kinder-eggs. I shit you not.
And that is one reason why when we book people into custody for any drug offenses, before you get cleared to leave the jail, he or she has to meet with the Keister bunny first
__________________

Last edited by mahalom3; 04-16-2021 at 01:33 PM..
Appreciate 6
Sedan_Clan26871.50
243Racing1448.50
Murf99314095.00
vreihen1620310.50
paquet631.50
      04-16-2021, 01:30 PM   #2280
Fly320s
Private First Class
United_States
1562
Rep
140
Posts

Drives: Car
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: NH

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
2020 BMW M2C  [5.50]
Quote:
Originally Posted by packet View Post
that reminds me - apparently this is a thing - cannot bring Kinder eggs into the US from Canada...)
That is because of this:

Quote:
That's because they always have a fun surprise in them!!!!
The US FDA considers those toys inside the eggs a choking hazard. We have Kinder Eggs in the US, but they don't have toys in them.
Appreciate 1
paquet631.50
      04-16-2021, 01:30 PM   #2281
spazzyfry123
Lieutenant Colonel
spazzyfry123's Avatar
4853
Rep
1,955
Posts

Drives: Here and There
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: North Georgia Mountains

iTrader: (1)

Garage List
Quote:
Originally Posted by mahalom3 View Post
And that is one reason why when we book people into custody for any drug offenses, before you get cleared to leave the jail, he or she has to meet with the Kinster bunny first
I think you meant the KEISTER Bunny
Appreciate 3
mahalom3165.00
BMWGUYinCO4323.00
Murf99314095.00
      04-16-2021, 01:34 PM   #2282
BMWGUYinCO
Second Lieutenant
BMWGUYinCO's Avatar
4323
Rep
284
Posts

Drives: 22 M850 Convertible '23 X3 M40
Join Date: Apr 2020
Location: Colorado

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fly320s View Post
That is because of this:



The US FDA considers those toys inside the eggs a choking hazard. We have Kinder Eggs in the US, but they don't have toys in them.
Wait - is that a recent new change of law? Because I could swear I bought Kinder eggs last year that had some Star Wars toys in them (i.e. little plastic pieces of sh#t)
Appreciate 0
      04-16-2021, 01:35 PM   #2283
mahalom3
Private First Class
165
Rep
112
Posts

Drives: 2018 M3 Comp Shakir Orange
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Rancho Cucamonga

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by spazzyfry123 View Post
I think you meant the KEISTER Bunny
Affirm! thanks
__________________
Appreciate 1
Murf99314095.00
      04-16-2021, 01:53 PM   #2284
Fly320s
Private First Class
United_States
1562
Rep
140
Posts

Drives: Car
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: NH

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
2020 BMW M2C  [5.50]
Quote:
Originally Posted by BMWGUYinCO View Post
Wait - is that a recent new change of law? Because I could swear I bought Kinder eggs last year that had some Star Wars toys in them (i.e. little plastic pieces of sh#t)
Been that way for 20+ years. Maybe since before the Eggs were invented.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinder...#United_States
Appreciate 0
      04-16-2021, 05:31 PM   #2285
Sedan_Clan
Law Enforcer
Sedan_Clan's Avatar
Brazil
26872
Rep
22,695
Posts

Drives: '22 Chalk Gray Porsche C2S
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: ..in your rearview!!!

iTrader: (26)

Here we go. We're back on high alert, facing 12 hour shifts with no days off again. I'm really over this.


So.....


.....Adam Toledo had a firearm and it was located near his body. Freeze frames of the BWC show it in his hand, but it didn't catch the toss. As Toledo began to raise up his hands, he simultaneously tossed the gun.....but the officer fired a single round. The officer didn't see the toss and the BWC didn't catch the toss. That's how quickly it occurred.

The community won't ask the real questions:
  • Where were his parents?
  • Why is a 13 year old out at 0200?
  • Where/how did he obtain the firearm?
  • What/who was he shooting at that prompted the 911 call and subsequent police response?
  • Why didn't he just comply rather than prompt a foot pursuit?

The media and the community will make this all about race (...which it isn't) while ignoring every component of the circumstances that led up to the police contact.
Appreciate 10
Littlebear3520.50
Murf99314095.00
upstatedoc7532.50
unluky7675.00
mahalom3165.00
vreihen1620310.50
paquet631.50
JReis55.00
      04-16-2021, 05:38 PM   #2286
upstatedoc
I'll get back to you
upstatedoc's Avatar
7533
Rep
2,132
Posts

Drives: blue streak
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: not downstate

iTrader: (2)

All questions Fox News just asked
__________________
2018 Stinger GT
2009 E90 N51 /Active Autowerke Stage 2 tune/BMW Performance Exhaust/
Countermeasure enthusiast.
Appreciate 3
Sedan_Clan26871.50
omega2733154.50
      04-16-2021, 05:39 PM   #2287
Murf993
Major
Murf993's Avatar
14095
Rep
1,336
Posts

Drives: Porsche 993
Join Date: Mar 2020
Location: Dog Lake, South Frontenac, Ontario Canada

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan View Post
Here we go. We're back on high alert, facing 12 hour shifts with no days off again. I'm really over this.


So.....


.....Adam Toledo had a firearm and it was located near his body. Freeze frames of the BWC show it in his hand, but it didn't catch the toss. As Toledo began to raise up his hands, he simultaneously tossed the gun.....but the officer fired a single round. The officer didn't see the toss and the BWC didn't catch the toss. That's how quickly it occurred.

The community won't ask the real questions:
  • Where were his parents?
  • Why is a 13 year old out at 0200?
  • Where/how did he obtain the firearm?
  • What/who was he shooting at that prompted the 911 call and subsequent police response?
  • Why didn't he just comply rather than prompt a foot pursuit?

The media and the community will make this all about race (...which it isn't) while ignoring every component of the circumstances that led up to the police contact.
And around and around it goes. Play safe out there brother.
Appreciate 3
unluky7675.00
mahalom3165.00
vreihen1620310.50
      04-16-2021, 05:41 PM   #2288
Littlebear
Banned
United_States
3521
Rep
2,044
Posts

Drives: ...the Mods crazy.
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Not here, apparently....

iTrader: (2)

^^ Agree 100% ^^

I hope the media, and the local community leaders, can bring some calm to the situation.
(Gd do I sound naive...)

Well 95% agree. I think media will not ignore all the social inequalities that contribute to the big mess. I hope they don't use them as excuses for the kid being out with a gun in the middle of the night, etc.

Last edited by Littlebear; 04-16-2021 at 05:47 PM..
Appreciate 1
Sedan_Clan26871.50
Post Reply

Bookmarks


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:48 AM.




5post
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
1Addicts.com, BIMMERPOST.com, E90Post.com, F30Post.com, M3Post.com, ZPost.com, 5Post.com, 6Post.com, 7Post.com, XBimmers.com logo and trademark are properties of BIMMERPOST