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      04-16-2021, 10:59 AM   #2267
ramman434
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I think you should just throw the stories up w/a bold headline. We'll take them all ROFL
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      04-16-2021, 11:02 AM   #2268
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan View Post
I wish I could upload my body cam video of the meth head who offered fellatio in exchange for his release. He said he'd gum me up real nice.




Do you want to hear the story about the woman with a .380 in her vagina?
That depends. Was she a good bang?
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      04-16-2021, 11:03 AM   #2269
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rebekahb View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan View Post
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Originally Posted by ramman434 View Post
These are great stories. Please keep 'em coming. They're making Friday morning even better.
I wish I could upload my body cam video of the meth head who offered fellatio in exchange for his release. He said he'd gum me up real nice.




Do you want to hear the story about the woman with a .380 in her vagina?
You can't make this shit up.

Please keep me entertained while I clean my house.
Entertainment is here.

A few years ago, my partners contacted a heavy set African American female who had a felony warrant and a history of gun possession. During the detention, the female was asked the standard questions about weapons and/or drugs on her person. She was also advised a female would be performing an in-depth search; gotta keep those allegations to a minimum, right?!? The suspect stated she had nothing on her. When my female partner showed up to conduct a thorough search, she felt something slightly protruding from the suspect's vagina. Obviously this alerted my partner. Further questioning revealed it was a gun. This suspect stuffed a little .380 in one of her two nature's pockets because she didn't want to go back to jail.

I did not want to be the doctor/nurse tasked with removing that so she could be booked. lol!
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      04-16-2021, 11:32 AM   #2270
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan View Post
I wish I could upload my body cam video of the meth head who offered fellatio in exchange for his release. He said he'd gum me up real nice.




Do you want to hear the story about the woman with a .380 in her vagina?
We had one too, She was booked in by CHP in one of our jails
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      04-16-2021, 12:09 PM   #2271
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Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan View Post
I don't care about cars, although you're more likely to catch my attention in a Nissan Altima or Dodge Charger because gangsters love those two cars (...and Altima drivers are always dirty.....meaning, guns/dope/warrants).
I'm not sure how I feel about this level of prejudice coming straight from the horse's mouth but I completely agree with you
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Originally Posted by Murf993 View Post
So in Canada, the police can stop any vehicle to check that the driver is licensed, has proper registration and insurance. We also have this thing called "the judges rules" which stem from common law. Essentially the police can ask you just about anything, you don't necessarily have to answer but posing the question "what are you doing here" etc. isn't illegal or wrong.
It may not be illegal or wrong but it's frankly offensive to be questioned so many times about what I'm doing in the neighborhood that I live in.
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My wife would give me so much head if I did that.
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      04-16-2021, 12:18 PM   #2272
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mahalom3 View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan View Post
I wish I could upload my body cam video of the meth head who offered fellatio in exchange for his release. He said he'd gum me up real nice.




Do you want to hear the story about the woman with a .380 in her vagina?
We had one too, She was booked in by CHP in one of our jails
I need that story. Lol!


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Originally Posted by Vivek. View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan View Post
I don't care about cars, although you're more likely to catch my attention in a Nissan Altima or Dodge Charger because gangsters love those two cars (...and Altima drivers are always dirty.....meaning, guns/dope/warrants).
I'm not sure how I feel about this level of prejudice coming straight from the horse's mouth but I completely agree with you
Quote:
Originally Posted by Murf993 View Post
So in Canada, the police can stop any vehicle to check that the driver is licensed, has proper registration and insurance. We also have this thing called "the judges rules" which stem from common law. Essentially the police can ask you just about anything, you don't necessarily have to answer but posing the question "what are you doing here" etc. isn't illegal or wrong.
It may not be illegal or wrong but it's frankly offensive to be questioned so many times about what I'm doing in the neighborhood that I live in.
We're human and we notice patterns just like any other human. ....as evidenced by your statement. Gangsters/thugs love to emulate each other.
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      04-16-2021, 12:18 PM   #2273
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan View Post
Entertainment is here.

I did not want to be the doctor/nurse tasked with removing that so she could be booked. lol!
If a women can give birth to a 13lbs+ baby, she can probably hide a disassembled AR-15. And a couple of clips. And a tripod.
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      04-16-2021, 12:19 PM   #2274
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lady Jane View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan View Post
Entertainment is here.

I did not want to be the doctor/nurse tasked with removing that so she could be booked. lol!
If a women can give birth to a 13lbs+ baby, she can probably hide a disassembled AR-15. And a couple of clips. And a tripod.


The woman I nab with an AR15 in her vagina is getting a pass from me.
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      04-16-2021, 12:29 PM   #2275
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Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan View Post


The woman I nab with an AR15 in her vagina is getting a pass from me.
So having done a ton of in custody deaths in provincial and federal prison you need to know that there are correct terms for this kind of thing.

Hooping is when you have a stash up your ass and suit casing refers to the vagina. Heres another fun fact for you moms and dads out there, the container of choice for smuggling drugs into jails is Kinder-eggs. I shit you not.
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      04-16-2021, 12:54 PM   #2276
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Murf993 View Post
So having done a ton of in custody deaths in provincial and federal prison you need to know that there are correct terms for this kind of thing.

Hooping is when you have a stash up your ass and suit casing refers to the vagina. Heres another fun fact for you moms and dads out there, the container of choice for smuggling drugs into jails is Kinder-eggs. I shit you not.
that reminds me - apparently this is a thing - cannot bring Kinder eggs into the US from Canada...)

(OK i'm sure that's not the reason, but still, funny to think so - to prevent contraband brought in rectally) surprise!
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      04-16-2021, 12:56 PM   #2277
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Murf993 View Post
Heres another fun fact for you moms and dads out there, the container of choice for smuggling drugs into jails is Kinder-eggs. I shit you not.
That's because they always have a fun surprise in them!!!!
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      04-16-2021, 01:12 PM   #2278
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BMWGUYinCO View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Murf993 View Post
Heres another fun fact for you moms and dads out there, the container of choice for smuggling drugs into jails is Kinder-eggs. I shit you not.
That's because they always have a fun surprise in them!!!!
Whoever has to take those out better 3 glove up to the elbow. Lord only knows what kind of diseases are in that vaginal juice
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      04-16-2021, 01:14 PM   #2279
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Murf993 View Post
So having done a ton of in custody deaths in provincial and federal prison you need to know that there are correct terms for this kind of thing.

Hooping is when you have a stash up your ass and suit casing refers to the vagina. Heres another fun fact for you moms and dads out there, the container of choice for smuggling drugs into jails is Kinder-eggs. I shit you not.
And that is one reason why when we book people into custody for any drug offenses, before you get cleared to leave the jail, he or she has to meet with the Keister bunny first
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Last edited by mahalom3; 04-16-2021 at 01:33 PM..
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      04-16-2021, 01:30 PM   #2280
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Originally Posted by packet View Post
that reminds me - apparently this is a thing - cannot bring Kinder eggs into the US from Canada...)
That is because of this:

Quote:
That's because they always have a fun surprise in them!!!!
The US FDA considers those toys inside the eggs a choking hazard. We have Kinder Eggs in the US, but they don't have toys in them.
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      04-16-2021, 01:30 PM   #2281
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Originally Posted by mahalom3 View Post
And that is one reason why when we book people into custody for any drug offenses, before you get cleared to leave the jail, he or she has to meet with the Kinster bunny first
I think you meant the KEISTER Bunny
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      04-16-2021, 01:34 PM   #2282
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fly320s View Post
That is because of this:



The US FDA considers those toys inside the eggs a choking hazard. We have Kinder Eggs in the US, but they don't have toys in them.
Wait - is that a recent new change of law? Because I could swear I bought Kinder eggs last year that had some Star Wars toys in them (i.e. little plastic pieces of sh#t)
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      04-16-2021, 01:35 PM   #2283
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I think you meant the KEISTER Bunny
Affirm! thanks
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      04-16-2021, 01:53 PM   #2284
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Originally Posted by BMWGUYinCO View Post
Wait - is that a recent new change of law? Because I could swear I bought Kinder eggs last year that had some Star Wars toys in them (i.e. little plastic pieces of sh#t)
Been that way for 20+ years. Maybe since before the Eggs were invented.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinder...#United_States
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      04-16-2021, 05:31 PM   #2285
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Here we go. We're back on high alert, facing 12 hour shifts with no days off again. I'm really over this.


So.....


.....Adam Toledo had a firearm and it was located near his body. Freeze frames of the BWC show it in his hand, but it didn't catch the toss. As Toledo began to raise up his hands, he simultaneously tossed the gun.....but the officer fired a single round. The officer didn't see the toss and the BWC didn't catch the toss. That's how quickly it occurred.

The community won't ask the real questions:
  • Where were his parents?
  • Why is a 13 year old out at 0200?
  • Where/how did he obtain the firearm?
  • What/who was he shooting at that prompted the 911 call and subsequent police response?
  • Why didn't he just comply rather than prompt a foot pursuit?

The media and the community will make this all about race (...which it isn't) while ignoring every component of the circumstances that led up to the police contact.
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      04-16-2021, 05:38 PM   #2286
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All questions Fox News just asked
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      04-16-2021, 05:39 PM   #2287
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan View Post
Here we go. We're back on high alert, facing 12 hour shifts with no days off again. I'm really over this.


So.....


.....Adam Toledo had a firearm and it was located near his body. Freeze frames of the BWC show it in his hand, but it didn't catch the toss. As Toledo began to raise up his hands, he simultaneously tossed the gun.....but the officer fired a single round. The officer didn't see the toss and the BWC didn't catch the toss. That's how quickly it occurred.

The community won't ask the real questions:
  • Where were his parents?
  • Why is a 13 year old out at 0200?
  • Where/how did he obtain the firearm?
  • What/who was he shooting at that prompted the 911 call and subsequent police response?
  • Why didn't he just comply rather than prompt a foot pursuit?

The media and the community will make this all about race (...which it isn't) while ignoring every component of the circumstances that led up to the police contact.
And around and around it goes. Play safe out there brother.
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      04-16-2021, 05:41 PM   #2288
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^^ Agree 100% ^^

I hope the media, and the local community leaders, can bring some calm to the situation.
(Gd do I sound naive...)

Well 95% agree. I think media will not ignore all the social inequalities that contribute to the big mess. I hope they don't use them as excuses for the kid being out with a gun in the middle of the night, etc.

Last edited by Littlebear; 04-16-2021 at 05:47 PM..
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