I'm depressed, anxiety-ridden, and frankly kinda scared.

[Kolyan2k]

How old are you? Sounds like all your stress comes from lack of job/money. Isn't that an easy fix these days? Here it seems like we got work everywhere.....

I remember when I lost my job and also wasted a year trying stuff that didn't really work out. I had the money, but still decided to sell my BMW right away and pay off like 3k I owned on it. Sold, bought S2000, paid off loan, and had like 5k cash left and I had a much better car too in the end ))

I also though covid got people pretty good cash flow. I know many people that were broke pre covid, now all ended up with ton of money )) loans, unemployment, stimulus, child credits...crazy how much cash they gave out.

To be honest I also feel like a looser sometimes, working and working....while everyone around me banks on stocks and crypto lol

[Tommy-G]

Originally Posted by Kolyan2k

I also though covid got people pretty good cash flow. I know many people that were broke pre covid, now all ended up with ton of money )) loans, unemployment, stimulus, child credits...crazy how much cash they gave out.
l

I have been working since day 1 of COVID and never got a penny of "handouts"

[mjr24]

Weed is some good stuff for anxiety....maybe you need a different strain because you shouldn't be experiencing anxiety with the good stuff. It really comes down to moderating so you get enough to take the edge off but not so much that you are lazy and lethargic.

I don't do it very much anymore just due to family, etc......but for the year or so I did it here and there, it was one of the most calm and retrospective times of my life. Was really anti-weed before that. I obviously missed out and didn't know what I was talking about.

[Tambohamilton]

Originally Posted by mjr24

Weed is some good stuff for anxiety....maybe you need a different strain because you shouldn't be experiencing anxiety with the good stuff. It really comes down to moderating so you get enough to take the edge off but not so much that you are lazy and lethargic.

I don't do it very much anymore just due to family, etc......but for the year or so I did it here and there, it was one of the most calm and retrospective times of my life. Was really anti-weed before that. I obviously missed out and didn't know what I was talking about.

Interesting post. My old business partner was and is a full-time smoker; it brings out the worst in him; stress, irrationality, mood swings, etc. And it's even worse if he tries to cut back or quit for a while, then he evens out again. From what I've seen, I couldn't recommend it to anyone! Alcohol is no better, and its effects are much more sneaky.

Staying clean, healthy and fit really is the best for the mind and body.

YMMV

Edit: And to the OP, kudos for talking about it and recognising the situation. I know some of your pains and frustrations. Keep working at it.

[CamasM3e93]

Originally Posted by Fritzer

Kind of embarrassing because I know some people on the forums personally, but I don't really have anywhere else to vent about this. Around the start of Summer 2020 I left my job due to lack of work. I worked in management in the automotive field and our business was doing so poorly I was barely able to get 5 hours/week when I was used to getting 55-60. I had some money saved up and along with partial unemployment I decided to work on something personal that I've been wanting to do for a long time. My closest friend was and is involved and very successful in the field, I actually moved in with him and have been partially working for him and trying to get my own operation started up. I've had issues with depression but much more than that, issues with anxiety in the past. I can normally manage it well but sometimes it just gets to you. I've had to deal with a ludicrous amount of stress in the last 20 years of my life, not trying to toot my own horn but few people have been through and dealt with the circumstances I've dealt with, I've just noticed what I've been through is quite irregular over the years. Anyway, I can handle stress pretty good.

I've had serious issues with motivation while working at home. I've made progress here and there but I'm pretty much no where from where I've started. The partial unemployment ran out almost a year ago, have been so caught up in myself that I finally realized I have been burning through the remainder of my savings. I feel like such a failure. I know with my previous employment I can always go back to it, don't necessarily want to though. I just wish I didn't waste so much of my fucking time. I had a really good opportunity to try and get started but my anxiety and laziness got the better of me. How can I be such a depressed, unmotivated fuck now - yet be the most productive person working overtime daily at a normal job? I feel like I wasted a whole year and a year's worth of income and now I'm pretty much right where I started pre-COVID.

Will probably stay out the rest of my lease with my friend here in Texas, not really sure what I'm going to do after that. Can't necessarily live with him while working a normal job(he has a pretty particular lifestyle and doesn't mesh at all with normal life, nothing bad just it requires a lot of odd time management/lifestyle I guess). Don't really have any fallbacks, money burning, of course still dealing with car issues. Oh and my phone got repaired and the screen started coming off so I've been without a telephone for two days because it's in the shop, can't stop thinking about the $800 I owe the State of California because I couldn't pay the $500 ticket in time. IDK. I'm just stressed the fuck out and have pretty much no one to talk to. Sad I know. Driving home today from the phone repair place I started having palpitations and the precursors to a panic attack, which I'm actually going through right now as of typing this. I just took some weed though so I'm calming down a bit, may drink a little too. :-)

Good things I have going for me: -25ish pounds after the last two months of trying to lose weight, less than 1 more year of car payments before I'm auto-debt free, and I have the possibility of writing off 2-3 serious marks on my credit(if i can cough up some extra dough) in the next couple of months.

It's possible this is clinical depression and I recommend seeing a physician. It's a recurring, treatable illness. It does not always present the same way as it has before.

I was out of work on disability for 2+ years, and found what you describe easy to fall into. I developed work-like routines that got me out of bed, out of the house, and into life on my regular work days. I found that the less time I allowed myself to think about me and my aches and my bills and my various failings (we all have them) the better I felt emotionally and physically. This invariably meant finding ways to do things for other people. Towards the end of the disability, I had taken on 3-4 volunteer roles. Now back to work almost 3 years, I credit the changes in me that this approach facilitated every bit as much as the physical improvements after a surgery - all of it getting me back in the workplace and a healthy frame of mind.

Take care.

[Tambohamilton]

Originally Posted by CamasM3e93

It's possible this is clinical depression and I recommend seeing a physician. It's a recurring, treatable illness. It does not always present the same way as it has before.

I was out of work on disability for 2+ years, and found what you describe easy to fall into. I developed work-like routines that got me out of bed, out of the house, and into life on my regular work days. I found that the less time I allowed myself to think about me and my aches and my bills and my various failings (we all have them) the better I felt emotionally and physically. This invariably meant finding ways to do things for other people. Towards the end of the disability, I had taken on 3-4 volunteer roles. Now back to work almost 3 years, I credit the changes in me that this approach facilitated every bit as much as the physical improvements after a surgery - all of it getting me back in the workplace and a healthy frame of mind.

Take care.

+1 My mind is a mess if I'm idle; I've got to keep busy! Easy to fall into that rut of doing nothing, then stagnating though.

[Efthreeoh]

Originally Posted by CamasM3e93

It's possible this is clinical depression and I recommend seeing a physician. It's a recurring, treatable illness. It does not always present the same way as it has before.

I was out of work on disability for 2+ years, and found what you describe easy to fall into. I developed work-like routines that got me out of bed, out of the house, and into life on my regular work days. I found that the less time I allowed myself to think about me and my aches and my bills and my various failings (we all have them) the better I felt emotionally and physically. This invariably meant finding ways to do things for other people. Towards the end of the disability, I had taken on 3-4 volunteer roles. Now back to work almost 3 years, I credit the changes in me that this approach facilitated every bit as much as the physical improvements after a surgery - all of it getting me back in the workplace and a healthy frame of mind.

Take care.

So you DON'T recommend just taking bong hits and eating Cheetos?

[CamasM3e93]

Originally Posted by Efthreeoh

So you DON'T recommend just taking bong hits and eating Cheetos?

Maybe. I don't claim to know the universal secrets to life, only what's worked for me. Give it a try and report back to the group….

[GOLFFRR]

sorry to hear OP but know you are not alone and you can turn this around. No matter your age you have time to do so. The first part is admitting to yourself there is something that needs to change. Which it sounds like you are doing now.

I had a few people in my life that have gone through tough times and what worked for them is reaching out to a therapist of some sort and working through things with them. There are a lot of free options out there if money is an issue. If access is an issue you can get online help as well. This would be my best advice. ITs ok to ask for help.

Talking to someone often times really helps.

good luck OP, hang in there and believe and invest in yourself. you are capable of whatever you want to do, believe it and stick with the process.

[Maynard]

The issues you describe would benefit from professional psychotherapy; much less likely to find real relief from the self-help/talk to friends approach (not that those are in any way bad, but not sufficient). Pills might help, but they will be like a pain-killer - they suppress the discomfort, but allow the underlying issue to fester (SSRI or SNRI, I'd avoid benzos and sedatives altogether). Use whatever benefits you have, or the local nonprofit network, to find somebody who you can work with on this. These are very common issues, so should not be hard to find somebody who can provide good solution-focussed approaches (something like short-term CBT or ACT, not 10 years of Woody-Allen style couch-talk about how you were toilet trained). You owe it to yourself to get the pro assist - wouldn't you do that for a gnarly car repair?

[translux]

Preface: I'm not a Dr. but have decades of practical experience in many aspects of mental health. I also have no connection of any kind to my recommendations.

Maynard has some sound advice. Mental health should be the 1st stop for many of us but given the unfortunate stigma, many put this last. As mentioned there are many emerging forms of treatment that can have a significant impact in a reasonable amount of time. One area that is interesting to me is NeuroAffective Relational Model (NARM). You can read more about it here. Feel free to PM me if you'd like to have an off-line discussion.

[Efthreeoh]

Originally Posted by CamasM3e93

Maybe. I don't claim to know the universal secrets to life, only what's worked for me. Give it a try and report back to the group….

LOL. Nah, I'm stronger than that.

[DETRoadster]

Ummmm, anyone else notice the OP hasn't checked back in on this thread for 10 days? "Depressed, anxiety-ridden, and frankly kinda scared" has not turned into kinda missing. Hope you're OK Fritzer .

[cmyx6go]

Originally Posted by DETRoadster

Ummmm, anyone else notice the OP hasn't checked back in on this thread for 10 days? "Depressed, anxiety-ridden, and frankly kinda scared" has not turned into kinda missing. Hope you're OK Fritzer .

Yup. I keep looking for a response from him. Hope he’s ok.

[M5Rick]

I'm following too and am a little concerned at OP's thread.

[shoei]

Op last signed in today at 12:18. Everyone can relax and breathe.

Also possible he just may not want to talk about it.