How do I have a conversation with my parents about taking a hold of my own life?

[Mosaud1998]

Originally Posted by Alfisti

I am not convinced more school is the answer right now, you don't sound up for it and that can be miserable. I DESPISED every second of university, worse years of my life other than the friends I made. I should never have went, or at least take a 2 year breather, but that is just me.

I'd get my ass whooped if I took 2 years off. Hell, my parents don't know I am not attending college rn

[upstatedoc]

Originally Posted by Mosaud1998

I'd get my ass whooped if I took 2 years off. Hell, my parents don't know I am not attending college rn

I just saw a forensics files with this theme

[Mosaud1998]

Originally Posted by upstatedoc

I just saw a forensics files with this theme

[ASAP]

I will only say one thing-

This is America... people make money in many ways. Some educated corporate jobs, others sales and yet others start business.

The wealthiest people that I know are uneducated business owners... or rather, to own a business and be successful, you need 0 formal education. Granted, it's risky and doesn't always work out but you have to make sure what's right for you.

If you are making money now, I would save up and think about some sort of investment in the future... ie perhaps an education, business or whatever it may be.

You are making good $ now in the car industry... that may not continue forever but I wouldn't randomly drop it when times are good. Save and plan for the future.

[Joe T]

so here's where I am, I have a BA in psychology, an ex-restaurant guy, worked my way to a regional manager gig. left the restaurant business at 32 and got into sales. and am early 50's now

I made a good living in sales, I made a better living in sales than I did as a sales manager (my own commissions as an individual contributor were higher than as a leader of the team. Have a couple "C-players" and it affects your pay) I'm currently a VP, and my pay is multiples of what it was in sales and as a manager

and you know what... I needed that 4 year degree a few times in my life, Once to be hired as a restaurant manager. and a few more times when getting sales job. Did I need the degree FOR the job? NOPE !!!! What I needed it for was to get the interviews for the jobs.

While a college degree isn't needed for every job, and not everyone should go to college, what a degree tells many (not all) employers is that you can
1. learn something and
2. commit four years to a goal of getting your degree

Many employers will exclude you from job, or limit promotions over a piece of paper

My degree in psychology "may" help me with the people portion of my job, what would help me more now is marketing or finance, and I consider every year getting an MBA, because having just a BA potentially limits my next moves, next job, next company.

Here's an exercise for you, figure what the best sales rep makes, then figure what your manager makes, and then guess what your GM might make. I can tell you what I thought was good money at 23, is dogshit at 53

Originally Posted by Mosaud1998

---snip---

The current GM at my job kinda sucks. Recently, we sold a 21 Mustang Mach-E for 15k over sticker (MSRP $55k we sold it for $70k +TTL). The customer traded in a 2019 Ford F-250 platinum with 39k miles for the Mach-E. The GM gave the customer $72k for his truck. The trade-in value is around $65k. Retail is $70k. He gave the customers $5k above trade-in and $2k above retail. Just to get our car out.

Now the F-250 is priced at $78k. $8k above retail. If no one buys it within 90 days, we'll have to drop the price to around $67k to get any action. It's going to automatically be a loser.

He should've dropped the market adjustment on the Mach-E to about $5k and gave the guy around $60k-62k for his trade-in. That way, it's even on both sides.

Now we're going to be flipped on the F-250 and whoever ends up selling it after 90 days is only going to be making a mini ($100).

so I have this conversation with our sales reps sometimes. they only see the surface. You see what the GM wants you to see. you see a bad deal, or crappy management, or a mini. What you don't see if back end/debt on the business/allotments from the "mothership" (like maybe selling 1 more Mach-E could triple the dealerships allotment for 2022...) and numerous other things.

I approved a sale for a $20,000 loss earlier this year, because it kept someone from going to "bid" gave us an open PO and sole source agreement worth $4,000,000 over 24 months. The sales rep bitched, told me I was reaching into his pocket and would cost him about $1000. I tried to explain, he complained to his manager he wanted off the account. We transferred the account to a new rep that will make roughly $20,000 on them over the next 2 years. Very short sighted, and not strategically looking at his business.

Your GM is the GM because TODAY he knows more about the business than you.


As for your home situation, at some point what you need is more important that what your parents want

[upstatedoc]

I have a BA in psychology too.

[Germanauto]

I too am the child of immigrants, in this case from India. My parents are pretty well integrated and gave me lot of freedoms, but with career stuff they weren't messing around and for good reason.

My parents saw poverty first-hand and worked their asses off to get well-educated and earn good positions in good companies. As a result I've had amazing opportunities to succeed in life. Your parents may be annoying about it, but they know that in the long-term a STEM career will provide stability and a good livelihood. Sales in any field, especially automotive, are unpredictable. Who knows what the career will be like in 10 years, 20, 30 years from now.

Also keep in mind that everything will become more expensive with time. Inflation, rent/real estate prices, taxes etc. have rendered buying power much less than it used to be. 20 years ago people in my profession were probably able to buy a new M5 and a home in Los Angeles straight out of training, that is no longer the case. You'll have a spouse, kids, mortgage, life insurance, retirement accounts, etc. Your salary may seem fine for a single guy but you'll feel the squeeze as life continues.

My advice as somebody just a few years older than you: take education seriously. You'll thank yourself for it one day. Sure there are some people who've done well without an education, but they are few and far inbetween. Go get a degree in a field with growing demand. Your career won't be defined by your degree, but that piece of paper gives you the platform and credentials to go succeed in whatever route you choose.

[Alfisti]

Originally Posted by Mosaud1998

I'd get my ass whooped if I took 2 years off. Hell, my parents don't know I am not attending college rn

Ass whooped????? You're 21! Come on man, adult up, you sound 15 not 21. Ass whooped....jeeeeezus. Are you hooked up with a woman? Can tell you right now, good women will smell this whole lack of adult thing and run in the opposite direction.

[3.0L]

Vote with your feet and join the US Army. Not only will it blow their socks off, you will almost certainly gain tremendous confidence in yourself and ability to stand your own two feet.

[davidr3]

I'm in a similar experience as you OP. come from a foreign family where you gotta be a doctor/lawyer etc etc.
I'm 23, just finished my B.S at my 4 year university and i'm told what's echoed above, it's never enough. "So and so just did this test, so and so just got accepted here". My mother even told me what i've done is not special and i'd like to agree but I know I have backup safety net. They want me to continue but I don't think I want to just because I'd prefer to move out nor do I want to get into 200k in debt (minimum) from grad school. From a financial responsibility stand point I'd rather go into a solid career now and my degree will always be a fall back option.

If you don't want to, don't. Where there's a will there's a way, don't feel bad. If there's no will there's no way. If you're passionate about selling cars stick it out, make it work for you. You already have a head start, best of luck to you!

[XutvJet]

Title of the thread: "How do I have a conversation with my parents about taking a hold of my own life?"

Response: "Mom and Dad, I love you and respect you. I expect the same from you since you're my parents. I'm a grown adult and times change. I'm moving out. I'll stay in touch."

It's really as simple as that. The mental gymnastics certain adults will go so as to not disappoint their parents is rather boggling.

[NEfan508]

Overbearing parents, ya I get it (same here)

Try having twins @ 16… my GF 19

I quit school, worked what I liked doing (carpentry) general construction, never married but with the same woman since I was a teen

I'm dumb as a bag of rocks but I provide well for my family, I'm loyal to my partner/GF, wifey what ever you want to call her, we live better than decent

In short, do what you want/what makes you happy, your parents will support you on whatever road you take in life

It might seem they will be devastated on your questionable choices but I'm sure they will come around, your their son

Edit: my Theresa could've been arrested, I was under 18 lol