BMW E60 5-Series Forum | 5Post.com  
BMW Garage BMW Meets Register Today's Posts  

Go Back   BMW E60 5-Series Forum | 5Post.com > BIMMERPOST Universal Forums > Off-Topic Discussions Board

Post Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
      04-03-2020, 10:11 AM   #3543
CTinline-six
Hoonigan
CTinline-six's Avatar
United_States
6941
Rep
3,016
Posts

Drives: '09 328i, '98 Wrangler
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Connecticut

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
Quote:
Originally Posted by MKSixer View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joekerr View Post
Sorry to hear that, I can appreciate the stress you are under right now.

I'll provide a diversion in the form of a story, but this is not making fun of women drivers, rather, this is a true story.

I was working at Deloitte at the time and was a manager there and one of the staff who I grabbed to work on my team just so happened not to have a car. I always seemed to manage to pick at least one staff who didn't have access to a car somehow, just my luck, but since I liked driving, I didn't really mind.

Anyways, said staff was a nice, smart asian girl, seemed to be intelligent and all is good. I volunteered to drive her to and from the engagement for the week or so we were there. It is somewhat crucial to the story to understand that while she didn't have access to a car, she DID have her license which meant that she had passed the grueling tests required and was therefore believed to possess all necessary skills to operate a 3+ ton weapon on the roads. Sadly, this was not the case.

One day, I'm driving her back, and I'm coming up on a transport truck who is moving slowly, much slower than I am, and he's in the left lane. No problem, its a two lane road, if he wishes to stay in the left I will pass on the right since he is not moving over...though I would have preferred for him to move over so I could pass properly.

Well, I get to about 1/4 to maybe 1/2 way up his right side when strong feelings of utter remorse evidently struck the truck driver hard, and he decided that he actually didn't belong in the left lane after all, and must ABSOLUTELY be in the right lane, and immediately - no time for checking mirrors. So all I see is the truck starting to come over...and I'm almost halfway up his side and accelerating. (You know, as an aside, I use the word "he" for the truck driver, but I didn't actually identify them, and based on the actions undertaken by said person, it could have just as well been a female too - just a thought that occurred to me now...previously I just assumed he was a guy).

Somewhat annoying, but not a big deal, I'm in the 335i, acceleration is reasonably decent, but what is truly fantastic are the brakes. And since I can decelerate a lot faster than I can accelerate, that is precisely what I did and avoided the accident.

So I look over at her and ask her if she's fine, because it was hard braking, and she says she is, but something to the effect of how did I know what to do? And I basically explained my rationale above and then she utters the following statement, and from memory, I quote:

"If that had been me, I don't know - I would have just closed my eyes and let go of the steering wheel".

I look at her quickly, glance back at the road and take a moment to make sure I heard what I thought I heard, and then look back at her. SHE WASN'T JOKING!

She honestly would have done that. That scares me. And there is your diversion.
What.The.Actual.FUQ. I have no words.
And this is why so many car crash youtube channels exist.
__________________
"Yeah, but your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should."

-Dr. Ian Malcolm, Jurassic Park
Appreciate 0
      04-03-2020, 10:27 AM   #3544
dinonz
Banned
United_States
3218
Rep
2,385
Posts

Drives: 2016 M3 MWM ZCP
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Austin

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joekerr View Post
Sorry to hear that, I can appreciate the stress you are under right now.

I'll provide a diversion in the form of a story, but this is not making fun of women drivers, rather, this is a true story.

I was working at Deloitte at the time and was a manager there and one of the staff who I grabbed to work on my team just so happened not to have a car. I always seemed to manage to pick at least one staff who didn't have access to a car somehow, just my luck, but since I liked driving, I didn't really mind.

Anyways, said staff was a nice, smart asian girl, seemed to be intelligent and all is good. I volunteered to drive her to and from the engagement for the week or so we were there. It is somewhat crucial to the story to understand that while she didn't have access to a car, she DID have her license which meant that she had passed the grueling tests required and was therefore believed to possess all necessary skills to operate a 3+ ton weapon on the roads. Sadly, this was not the case.

One day, I'm driving her back, and I'm coming up on a transport truck who is moving slowly, much slower than I am, and he's in the left lane. No problem, its a two lane road, if he wishes to stay in the left I will pass on the right since he is not moving over...though I would have preferred for him to move over so I could pass properly.

Well, I get to about 1/4 to maybe 1/2 way up his right side when strong feelings of utter remorse evidently struck the truck driver hard, and he decided that he actually didn't belong in the left lane after all, and must ABSOLUTELY be in the right lane, and immediately - no time for checking mirrors. So all I see is the truck starting to come over...and I'm almost halfway up his side and accelerating. (You know, as an aside, I use the word "he" for the truck driver, but I didn't actually identify them, and based on the actions undertaken by said person, it could have just as well been a female too - just a thought that occurred to me now...previously I just assumed he was a guy).

Somewhat annoying, but not a big deal, I'm in the 335i, acceleration is reasonably decent, but what is truly fantastic are the brakes. And since I can decelerate a lot faster than I can accelerate, that is precisely what I did and avoided the accident.

So I look over at her and ask her if she's fine, because it was hard braking, and she says she is, but something to the effect of how did I know what to do? And I basically explained my rationale above and then she utters the following statement, and from memory, I quote:

"If that had been me, I don't know - I would have just closed my eyes and let go of the steering wheel".

I look at her quickly, glance back at the road and take a moment to make sure I heard what I thought I heard, and then look back at her. SHE WASN'T JOKING!

She honestly would have done that. That scares me. And there is your diversion.
I met a guy at university who totaled the first car he ever owned within about 3 hours of buying it. I asked what happened and he said it got into a slide in a turn. When I asked what he did to correct it he said "I closed my eyes, let go of the steering wheel, and stomped on the brake and clutch as hard as I could".

Can you think of anything else he could have done wrong? Turn off the engine so as to lock the steering column? Grab the handbrake although he did had the brake pedal pegged. Perhaps he could have taken his seat-belt off to maximize injury?
Appreciate 0
      04-03-2020, 12:44 PM   #3545
upstatedoc
I'll get back to you
upstatedoc's Avatar
7528
Rep
2,132
Posts

Drives: blue streak
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: not downstate

iTrader: (2)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Frupal View Post
Sure! Orange Blossom Special as well.
well? this is a perfect opportunity to entertain us
__________________
2018 Stinger GT
2009 E90 N51 /Active Autowerke Stage 2 tune/BMW Performance Exhaust/
Countermeasure enthusiast.
Appreciate 1
Frupal840.00
      04-03-2020, 12:55 PM   #3546
MKSixer
Lieutenant General
MKSixer's Avatar
34102
Rep
11,637
Posts

Drives: 2015 BMW i8, E63 M6, 328d
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Southeast United States

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
2016 M4 GTS (Allotted)  [0.00]
2013 BMW 328d  [0.00]
2007 BMW M6  [10.00]
2015 BMW i8  [10.00]
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1MOREMOD View Post
I make it to 1 and fall asleep, I cant drink any more.
Yeah. Of course.
Attached Images
 
__________________
Several actors have played James Bond, Sean Connery IS James Bond...
Sir 7ewis, 7X FIA Formula One World Championship, World Driving Champion. 100 Wins. 101 Pole Positions. 54 Fastest Laps. Actual Rain Master. Leave me to it, Bono. One Race Win in each of his 15 years in F1. Most Laps Led in Formula One. The Centurion.
Appreciate 2
Rmtt8201.00
      04-03-2020, 12:58 PM   #3547
UncleWede
Long Time Admirer, First Time Owner
UncleWede's Avatar
United_States
18326
Rep
9,410
Posts

Drives: G01 X3 M40i Dark Graphite
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Oxnard, CA

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by MKSixer View Post
What's the appropriate number of Quarantini's to have in one evening?

Asking for a friend.

First I finished the rum bottle, then finished the whiskey. Then I had to lay my king down. Got a little Agro after the rum

Last week I went with coworker to pick up emergency TV. We took a lifeguard truck. While in the store my blood sugar crashed. I couldn't find candy but she found 2 Hershey's and a jumbo peanut M&M. I ate almost all three while they loaded the truck

She was worried and wanted to drive. I told her it was a stick. She believed me until we got out of the parking lot and my hands weren't doing anything. "PULL OVER!"
Not happening. I ate 3 candies, I'm fine

Later told her my pride would never allow me to let her drive. She was not impressed
__________________
I have romped on her and I giggled like a drunk infant the entire time. - Sedan_Clan
Appreciate 1
MKSixer34102.00
      04-03-2020, 01:03 PM   #3548
MKSixer
Lieutenant General
MKSixer's Avatar
34102
Rep
11,637
Posts

Drives: 2015 BMW i8, E63 M6, 328d
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Southeast United States

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
2016 M4 GTS (Allotted)  [0.00]
2013 BMW 328d  [0.00]
2007 BMW M6  [10.00]
2015 BMW i8  [10.00]
Quote:
Originally Posted by UncleWede View Post
First I finished the rum bottle, then finished the whiskey. Then I had to lay my king down. Got a little Agro after the rum

Last week I went with coworker to pick up emergency TV. We took a lifeguard truck. While in the store my blood sugar crashed. I couldn't find candy but she found 2 Hershey's and a jumbo peanut M&M. I ate almost all three while they loaded the truck

She was worried and wanted to drive. I told her it was a stick. She believed me until we got out of the parking lot and my hands weren't doing anything. "PULL OVER!"
Not happening. I ate 3 candies, I'm fine

Later told her my pride would never allow me to let her drive. She was not impressed
You better take care of yourself, that's pretty serious. I'm not impressed, either. I'm with your coworker. You know what's next:
__________________
Several actors have played James Bond, Sean Connery IS James Bond...
Sir 7ewis, 7X FIA Formula One World Championship, World Driving Champion. 100 Wins. 101 Pole Positions. 54 Fastest Laps. Actual Rain Master. Leave me to it, Bono. One Race Win in each of his 15 years in F1. Most Laps Led in Formula One. The Centurion.
Appreciate 0
      04-03-2020, 01:10 PM   #3549
UncleWede
Long Time Admirer, First Time Owner
UncleWede's Avatar
United_States
18326
Rep
9,410
Posts

Drives: G01 X3 M40i Dark Graphite
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Oxnard, CA

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by MKSixer View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by UncleWede View Post
First I finished the rum bottle, then finished the whiskey. Then I had to lay my king down. Got a little Agro after the rum

Last week I went with coworker to pick up emergency TV. We took a lifeguard truck. While in the store my blood sugar crashed. I couldn't find candy but she found 2 Hershey's and a jumbo peanut M&M. I ate almost all three while they loaded the truck

She was worried and wanted to drive. I told her it was a stick. She believed me until we got out of the parking lot and my hands weren't doing anything. "PULL OVER!"
Not happening. I ate 3 candies, I'm fine

Later told her my pride would never allow me to let her drive. She was not impressed
You better take care of yourself, that's pretty serious. I'm not impressed, either. I'm with your coworker. You know what's next:
THREE CANDY BARS!!

It amazing how fast the faculties return after THREE candy bars

Did I mention she gave me THREE CANDY BARS?
__________________
I have romped on her and I giggled like a drunk infant the entire time. - Sedan_Clan
Appreciate 1
MKSixer34102.00
      04-03-2020, 01:23 PM   #3550
rebekahb
First Lieutenant
3178
Rep
320
Posts

Drives: 2020 X5 M50i
Join Date: Nov 2018
Location: New Orleans, LA

iTrader: (0)

My friends and I got on house party while we drank & chatted last night. Hungover and need a nap.
Appreciate 1
MKSixer34102.00
      04-03-2020, 01:24 PM   #3551
1MOREMOD
-
1MOREMOD's Avatar
United_States
11809
Rep
23,186
Posts

Drives: Race car->
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: check your mirrors

iTrader: (5)

Quote:
Originally Posted by MKSixer View Post
Yeah. Of course.
No really I need practice but age and my workout schedule I've backed way off.
Appreciate 2
MKSixer34102.00
Rmtt8201.00
      04-03-2020, 01:28 PM   #3552
Frupal
Mad Fiddler
United_States
840
Rep
1,038
Posts

Drives: 2016 BMW 640i GC
Join Date: Apr 2019
Location: Los Angeles

iTrader: (1)

Quote:
Originally Posted by upstatedoc View Post
well? this is a perfect opportunity to entertain us
Here’s a link to the audio version of Fly Robin Fly, from my album Passion. I know there’s a video out there of me performing it live but I can’t find it! Lol. My manager probably knows. I’ll share that link too.

Appreciate 1
upstatedoc7527.50
      04-03-2020, 01:44 PM   #3553
MKSixer
Lieutenant General
MKSixer's Avatar
34102
Rep
11,637
Posts

Drives: 2015 BMW i8, E63 M6, 328d
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Southeast United States

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
2016 M4 GTS (Allotted)  [0.00]
2013 BMW 328d  [0.00]
2007 BMW M6  [10.00]
2015 BMW i8  [10.00]
Quote:
Originally Posted by UncleWede View Post
THREE CANDY BARS!!

It amazing how fast the faculties return after THREE candy bars

Did I mention she gave me THREE CANDY BARS?
Yes. You did.
__________________
Several actors have played James Bond, Sean Connery IS James Bond...
Sir 7ewis, 7X FIA Formula One World Championship, World Driving Champion. 100 Wins. 101 Pole Positions. 54 Fastest Laps. Actual Rain Master. Leave me to it, Bono. One Race Win in each of his 15 years in F1. Most Laps Led in Formula One. The Centurion.
Appreciate 0
      04-03-2020, 01:45 PM   #3554
MKSixer
Lieutenant General
MKSixer's Avatar
34102
Rep
11,637
Posts

Drives: 2015 BMW i8, E63 M6, 328d
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Southeast United States

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
2016 M4 GTS (Allotted)  [0.00]
2013 BMW 328d  [0.00]
2007 BMW M6  [10.00]
2015 BMW i8  [10.00]
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1MOREMOD View Post
No really I need practice but age and my workout schedule I've backed way off.
I don't even know who you are any more.
__________________
Several actors have played James Bond, Sean Connery IS James Bond...
Sir 7ewis, 7X FIA Formula One World Championship, World Driving Champion. 100 Wins. 101 Pole Positions. 54 Fastest Laps. Actual Rain Master. Leave me to it, Bono. One Race Win in each of his 15 years in F1. Most Laps Led in Formula One. The Centurion.
Appreciate 1
King Rudi13065.50
      04-03-2020, 02:02 PM   #3555
1MOREMOD
-
1MOREMOD's Avatar
United_States
11809
Rep
23,186
Posts

Drives: Race car->
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: check your mirrors

iTrader: (5)

I know I dont even get to drunk post and berate people
Appreciate 0
      04-03-2020, 02:13 PM   #3556
upstatedoc
I'll get back to you
upstatedoc's Avatar
7528
Rep
2,132
Posts

Drives: blue streak
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: not downstate

iTrader: (2)

Quote:
Originally Posted by UncleWede View Post
she found 2 Hershey's
are you saying you gave her the hershey treatment or vice versa?
__________________
2018 Stinger GT
2009 E90 N51 /Active Autowerke Stage 2 tune/BMW Performance Exhaust/
Countermeasure enthusiast.
Appreciate 0
      04-03-2020, 03:02 PM   #3557
King Rudi
Lieutenant Colonel
King Rudi's Avatar
13066
Rep
1,965
Posts

Drives: Meat Suit
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Planet Earth

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by MKSixer View Post
What's the appropriate number of Quarantini's to have in one evening?

Asking for a friend.

As many as it takes....or as many as you have.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by jmg View Post
We're Americans. Leave your logic and science witchcraft out of this! Jesus and guns are all we need.
Appreciate 0
      04-03-2020, 03:03 PM   #3558
King Rudi
Lieutenant Colonel
King Rudi's Avatar
13066
Rep
1,965
Posts

Drives: Meat Suit
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Planet Earth

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle View Post
I think we bullied a guy so hard on here he deleted his thread
Who got bullied? I miss everything these days.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by jmg View Post
We're Americans. Leave your logic and science witchcraft out of this! Jesus and guns are all we need.
Appreciate 0
      04-03-2020, 04:36 PM   #3559
Turkish Pickle
Banned
United_States
3056
Rep
381
Posts

Drives: '21 330i xDrive
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Chicago, IL

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
Quote:
Originally Posted by Now_Rudi View Post
Who got bullied? I miss everything these days.
A guy opened a thread saying "invest in stocks, thats how I made money even when the economy is in a downturn" and basically everyone was like "congrats? don't care tho"
Appreciate 1
King Rudi13065.50
      04-03-2020, 05:00 PM   #3560
upstatedoc
I'll get back to you
upstatedoc's Avatar
7528
Rep
2,132
Posts

Drives: blue streak
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: not downstate

iTrader: (2)

Does weed help anxiety or make it worse?
__________________
2018 Stinger GT
2009 E90 N51 /Active Autowerke Stage 2 tune/BMW Performance Exhaust/
Countermeasure enthusiast.
Appreciate 2
Dpc2u11486.00
King Rudi13065.50
      04-03-2020, 05:57 PM   #3561
CTinline-six
Hoonigan
CTinline-six's Avatar
United_States
6941
Rep
3,016
Posts

Drives: '09 328i, '98 Wrangler
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Connecticut

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
Quote:
Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle View Post
A guy opened a thread saying "invest in stocks, thats how I made money even when the economy is in a downturn" and basically everyone was like "congrats? don't care tho"
I never saw that one but the title sounds like maybe it was a spam thread?
__________________
"Yeah, but your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should."

-Dr. Ian Malcolm, Jurassic Park
Appreciate 0
      04-03-2020, 07:57 PM   #3562
UncleWede
Long Time Admirer, First Time Owner
UncleWede's Avatar
United_States
18326
Rep
9,410
Posts

Drives: G01 X3 M40i Dark Graphite
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Oxnard, CA

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by upstatedoc View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by UncleWede View Post
she found 2 Hershey's
are you saying you gave her the hershey treatment or vice versa?
Yes, 2 Hershey's
__________________
I have romped on her and I giggled like a drunk infant the entire time. - Sedan_Clan
Appreciate 1
upstatedoc7527.50
      04-03-2020, 08:42 PM   #3563
dinonz
Banned
United_States
3218
Rep
2,385
Posts

Drives: 2016 M3 MWM ZCP
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Austin

iTrader: (0)

I just inquired about a second Countach. Still white/white just like the first, but has the steering wheel on the other side in advance of when I return to NZ to retire.

Should I seek medical help?
Appreciate 3
Rmtt8201.00
King Rudi13065.50
      04-04-2020, 12:16 AM   #3564
UncleWede
Long Time Admirer, First Time Owner
UncleWede's Avatar
United_States
18326
Rep
9,410
Posts

Drives: G01 X3 M40i Dark Graphite
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Oxnard, CA

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by MKSixer View Post
What's the appropriate number of Quarantini's to have in one evening?

Asking for a friend.

If you can still spell that q word, you are good

I just retired the 4 roses. 3 bottles in 2 nights in the recycle bin

I'm back on call Monday . . .
__________________
I have romped on her and I giggled like a drunk infant the entire time. - Sedan_Clan
Appreciate 0
Post Reply

Bookmarks


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:28 AM.




5post
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
1Addicts.com, BIMMERPOST.com, E90Post.com, F30Post.com, M3Post.com, ZPost.com, 5Post.com, 6Post.com, 7Post.com, XBimmers.com logo and trademark are properties of BIMMERPOST