How to Tick People Off

[schneid4323]

http://artlung.com/smorgasborg/how_t...ople_off.shtml

I may have to do all of these in one day...

HOW TO TICK PEOPLE OFF

1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
13. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
16. Staple pages in the middle of the page.
17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
18. Honk and wave to strangers.
19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
20. TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
21. type only in lowercase.
22. dont use any punctuation either
23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
"DO YOU HEAR THAT?"
"What?"
"Never mind, it's gone now."
25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
26. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
27. Ask people what gender they are.
28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
29. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
30. Sing along at the opera.
31. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
32. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

[Couch]

33. Make up "What if..." stories.

A few of my co-workers and I always make up different "What if..." stories on all sorts of things. It annoys the piss out of one our other co-workers. It's hilarious.

[Kiemyster]

i think i saw this somewhere before.... great shit though ahaha

[Hawkeye]

34. Drive slow in the left lane.

[Kiemyster]

35. when you get a fountain soda, take the top off, turn it upside down, and insert your straw so its slanted upwards in the opposite direction. when people ask, just say: it just feels right.

[gadget]

Originally Posted by Kiemyster

35. when you get a fountain soda, take the top off, turn it upside down, and insert your straw so its slanted upwards in the opposite direction. when people ask, just say: it just feels right.

[Josh49]

29. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

That's hilarious!!!

[bartman32]

old but good!

[TheLegacy]

Originally Posted by Josh49

29. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

That's hilarious!!!

yeah i LOLed on that one.

[OC Guy]

Yeah good list.

36. PM Mantis to see if his car has arrived yet.

[Year's_End]

Originally Posted by schneid4323

http://artlung.com/smorgasborg/how_t...ople_off.shtml

I may have to do all of these in one day...

HOW TO TICK PEOPLE OFF

1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
13. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
16. Staple pages in the middle of the page.
17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
18. Honk and wave to strangers.
19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
20. TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
21. type only in lowercase.
22. dont use any punctuation either
23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
"DO YOU HEAR THAT?"
"What?"
"Never mind, it's gone now."
25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
26. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
27. Ask people what gender they are.
28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
29. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
30. Sing along at the opera.
31. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
32. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

favs

[Year's_End]

19 is hilarious

[AJerman]

Haha... I might have to take note of a few of those.

[asdflkijd]

LOl, hahaha

[gadget]

Originally Posted by OC 335i

Yeah good list.

36. PM Mantis to see if his car has arrived yet.

I just did this one, please join me

[Kiemyster]

Originally Posted by gadget

how do u not get it? do i have to draw it out for u?

[gadget]

I got it, just didn't think it was fuuny.... sorry.

[Year's_End]

vag reference lol

[karliejai]

nice lol

[ZJP]

wtf...

[MadDog]

This thread just went to hell......

[Autobot]

Way to curb the front right rim