Dating - Good/Bad Experiences

[Dang3r]

Originally Posted by MKSixer

Happy Hour with the Australian chick today after work.

Hopefully not the next obsolete goddess

[Rmtt]

Originally Posted by premier3is

Just because my night just got fucked up I figured I'd come share why with my online friends here....

So as you all know I've been texting and talking with that girl every fuckin day since we went on a date 2 weeks ago, good convos, funny shit, during work and after work, everyday quite frequently. She said this week wouldn't work to go on a second date and said next week on Thursday. Figured it was a bit odd that you don't have time this week and you out hanging with friends in the evenings and going to the gym but sure, I'll buy it...

She sent me a random fuckin text like 30 minutes ago. And this is after we were having a normal conversation a few hours ago. Take a read:

'Hey! It's been really nice getting to know you these last few weeks but I feel like we don't really have a connection. And I don't really see it working out long-term. Hope you understand.'

Um.... wtf? Bitch we been talking every fuckin day and you damn sure felt like you were interested. WTF. What a waste of 1 month of talking and getting to know her. Lowkey really enjoy talking with her and thought it would work out. Why even continue to talk to me after the date if you felt this way?

No wonder why guys don't take shit seriously these days, because when you get close to some bitch some bullshit like this happens. Sorry for long post, I am heated!

I know it sucks, but that's why I said you can't take it seriously. It seems like she was a nice person and just didn't know how to break it off with you and not feel bad.

You remind me of my brother when he was in this situation. So no offense meant.

He was so hell-bent on being with someone, that any women he went out with could tell right from the beginning that he was desperate. And not just for sex, but for company as well.

A little secret...women are like men in that sense. When I was dating if I got that "vibe" that they were even the least bit desperate, it was a deal breaker for me even just to hang out as I knew it would be hard to get them to leave me alone without me being blunt and hurtful.

Never have all your "eggs in one basket". Keep reminding yourself that you are dating and not looking for anything serious and just let things happen. Have multiple contacts going at the same time if you can.

This is what happened with my brother. I tried to tell him how to act and present himself, but he didn't listen. So he ended up getting burnt so many times that he eventually developed a "don't give a shit" attitude which is what he should have had from the start.

After developing that attitude, that's when he started having better luck and attracting more women as they could smell his old "clingy vibe" from a mile away. He eventually found the right one and is married.

But it took awhile to get there. But then again...he isn't as good looking as I am!

[Tambohamilton]

Originally Posted by Rmtt

But then again...he isn't as good looking as I am!

...or as modest

[nyalpine90]

Originally Posted by premier3is

Just because my night just got fucked up I figured I'd come share why with my online friends here....

So as you all know I've been texting and talking with that girl every fuckin day since we went on a date 2 weeks ago, good convos, funny shit, during work and after work, everyday quite frequently. She said this week wouldn't work to go on a second date and said next week on Thursday. Figured it was a bit odd that you don't have time this week and you out hanging with friends in the evenings and going to the gym but sure, I'll buy it...

She sent me a random fuckin text like 30 minutes ago. And this is after we were having a normal conversation a few hours ago. Take a read:

'Hey! It's been really nice getting to know you these last few weeks but I feel like we don't really have a connection. And I don't really see it working out long-term. Hope you understand.'

Um.... wtf? Bitch we been talking every fuckin day and you damn sure felt like you were interested. WTF. What a waste of 1 month of talking and getting to know her. Lowkey really enjoy talking with her and thought it would work out. Why even continue to talk to me after the date if you felt this way?

No wonder why guys don't take shit seriously these days, because when you get close to some bitch some bullshit like this happens. Sorry for long post, I am heated!

i feel she wasnt being honest, you kept her entertain until she was done with you and moves on to next victim. You gave her too much attention, sometimes too much is no bueno.

its alright, plenty of fish in the sea lol
pick a better fish this time

[FuriouslyFast]

Originally Posted by premier3is

Just because my night just got fucked up I figured I'd come share why with my online friends here....

So as you all know I've been texting and talking with that girl every fuckin day since we went on a date 2 weeks ago, good convos, funny shit, during work and after work, everyday quite frequently. She said this week wouldn't work to go on a second date and said next week on Thursday. Figured it was a bit odd that you don't have time this week and you out hanging with friends in the evenings and going to the gym but sure, I'll buy it...

She sent me a random fuckin text like 30 minutes ago. And this is after we were having a normal conversation a few hours ago. Take a read:

'Hey! It's been really nice getting to know you these last few weeks but I feel like we don't really have a connection. And I don't really see it working out long-term. Hope you understand.'

Um.... wtf? Bitch we been talking every fuckin day and you damn sure felt like you were interested. WTF. What a waste of 1 month of talking and getting to know her. Lowkey really enjoy talking with her and thought it would work out. Why even continue to talk to me after the date if you felt this way?

No wonder why guys don't take shit seriously these days, because when you get close to some bitch some bullshit like this happens. Sorry for long post, I am heated!

Typical cookie cutter bs they all give us. We've all had that happen. Just block her # & move on. Also, listen to me next time, will ya?

[FuriouslyFast]

Originally Posted by Rmtt

I know it sucks, but that's why I said you can't take it seriously. It seems like she was a nice person and just didn't know how to break it off with you and not feel bad.

No, nice people do not string people along on purpose. She's a cunt.

Never have all your "eggs in one basket". Keep reminding yourself that you are dating and not looking for anything serious and just let things happen. Have multiple contacts going at the same time if you can.

Unless he IS looking for something serious.

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by FuriouslyFast

No, nice people do not string people along on purpose. She's a cunt.


Unless he IS looking for something serious.

Quoted for truth.

[pennsiveguy]

Originally Posted by Rmtt

I know it sucks, but that's why I said you can't take it seriously. It seems like she was a nice person and just didn't know how to break it off with you and not feel bad.

You remind me of my brother when he was in this situation. So no offense meant.

He was so hell-bent on being with someone, that any women he went out with could tell right from the beginning that he was desperate. And not just for sex, but for company as well.

A little secret...women are like men in that sense. When I was dating if I got that "vibe" that they were even the least bit desperate, it was a deal breaker for me even just to hang out as I knew it would be hard to get them to leave me alone without me being blunt and hurtful.

Never have all your "eggs in one basket". Keep reminding yourself that you are dating and not looking for anything serious and just let things happen. Have multiple contacts going at the same time if you can.

This is what happened with my brother. I tried to tell him how to act and present himself, but he didn't listen. So he ended up getting burnt so many times that he eventually developed a "don't give a shit" attitude which is what he should have had from the start.

After developing that attitude, that's when he started having better luck and attracting more women as they could smell his old "clingy vibe" from a mile away. He eventually found the right one and is married.

But it took awhile to get there. But then again...he isn't as good looking as I am!

This is really good counsel. You really have to meter your attention carefully, for all the reasons Rmtt lists and also for your own safety and sanity. I know it's easy to get excited about something that shows potential. I've done it a bunch of times. But over-investing too early will drastically increase the potential for pain and equally importantly will create an impression of desperation, whether it's actually true or not. Desperation is a universal repellent. It's one of the great paradoxes of the universe; the more ready and eager you are, the less interest you get.

It's also good to remember that in any relationship, the party that demonstrates the least interest has the most control.

premier3is Man, sorry to hear the ride ended on that one. This one seemed promising. She may have been one of those super-friendly but conflict-averse people who have a really tough time saying anything that might make someone else uncomfortable. Dust yourself off and get back in the game, when you're ready.

[Rmtt]

Originally Posted by FuriouslyFast

No, nice people do not string people along on purpose. She's a cunt.


Unless he IS looking for something serious.

I guess I was jaded when I started dating again. I wasn't ever planning on getting married and wasn't looking for anything serious.

I did that for almost 7 years before one popped up that I could really relate to...so it took me by surprise.

[Rmtt]

Originally Posted by pennsiveguy

This is really good counsel. You really have to meter your attention carefully, for all the reasons Rmtt lists and also for your own safety and sanity. I know it's easy to get excited about something that shows potential. I've done it a bunch of times. But over-investing too early will drastically increase the potential for pain and equally importantly will create an impression of desperation, whether it's actually true or not. Desperation is a universal repellent. It's one of the great paradoxes of the universe; the more ready and eager you are, the less interest you get.

It's also good to remember that in any relationship, the party that demonstrates the least interest has the most control.

premier3is Man, sorry to hear the ride ended on that one. This one seemed promising. She may have been one of those super-friendly but conflict-averse people who have a really tough time saying anything that might make someone else uncomfortable. Dust yourself off and get back in the game, when you're ready.

That's what I was getting at. It's not like they were seeing each other for months. Just a date or two and then a ton of texting. I have been in that situation where I would go out, be cordial, but know it wasn't going to go anywhere.

When I first started...I felt so bad having to tell them that especially if they were coming on that strong. I would try to ignore them, drag it out...but eventually I learned it's best to cut bait and be upfront as soon as possible.

At least that way everyone can move on.

[cmyx6go]

Originally Posted by Rmtt

I guess I was jaded when I started dating again. I wasn't ever planning on getting married and wasn't looking for anything serious.

I did that for almost 7 years before one popped up that I could really relate to...so it took me by surprise.

It happens when you're not looking for it and when you least expect it.

[premier3is]

Originally Posted by Rmtt

I know it sucks, but that's why I said you can't take it seriously. It seems like she was a nice person and just didn't know how to break it off with you and not feel bad.

You remind me of my brother when he was in this situation. So no offense meant.

He was so hell-bent on being with someone, that any women he went out with could tell right from the beginning that he was desperate. And not just for sex, but for company as well.

A little secret...women are like men in that sense. When I was dating if I got that "vibe" that they were even the least bit desperate, it was a deal breaker for me even just to hang out as I knew it would be hard to get them to leave me alone without me being blunt and hurtful.

Never have all your "eggs in one basket". Keep reminding yourself that you are dating and not looking for anything serious and just let things happen. Have multiple contacts going at the same time if you can.

This is what happened with my brother. I tried to tell him how to act and present himself, but he didn't listen. So he ended up getting burnt so many times that he eventually developed a "don't give a shit" attitude which is what he should have had from the start.

After developing that attitude, that's when he started having better luck and attracting more women as they could smell his old "clingy vibe" from a mile away. He eventually found the right one and is married.

But it took awhile to get there. But then again...he isn't as good looking as I am!

Thanks for the positive feedback... needed that pick up! Not too sure how I showed desperation on my end from texting, I guess I'll have to think it through. Is asking for a second date a week after we met considered desperation? Thought that should be normal.

[premier3is]

Originally Posted by FuriouslyFast

Typical cookie cutter bs they all give us. We've all had that happen. Just block her # & move on. Also, listen to me next time, will ya?

Lol, shuda listen about all these bitches being the same. Lowkey want to question her action here but don't feel like even texting back after my last text which just mentioned 'good getting to know you as well for the last few weeks. Good luck in ur search'.

I'll leave it at that and not go off on the bitch for wasting my time.

[pennsiveguy]

Originally Posted by Rmtt

That's what I was getting at. It's not like they were seeing each other for months. Just a date or two and then a ton of texting. I have been in that situation where I would go out, be cordial, but know it wasn't going to go anywhere.

When I first started...I felt so bad having to tell them that especially if they were coming on that strong. I would try to ignore them, drag it out...but eventually I learned it's best to cut bait and be upfront as soon as possible.

At least that way everyone can move on.

If you're not feeling it, you gotta let 'em know and let 'em go. Out of respect for their time. Every minute of their time you take up is a minute they can't spend finding someone who's really into them.

[premier3is]

Originally Posted by pennsiveguy

This is really good counsel. You really have to meter your attention carefully, for all the reasons Rmtt lists and also for your own safety and sanity. I know it's easy to get excited about something that shows potential. I've done it a bunch of times. But over-investing too early will drastically increase the potential for pain and equally importantly will create an impression of desperation, whether it's actually true or not. Desperation is a universal repellent. It's one of the great paradoxes of the universe; the more ready and eager you are, the less interest you get.

It's also good to remember that in any relationship, the party that demonstrates the least interest has the most control.

premier3is Man, sorry to hear the ride ended on that one. This one seemed promising. She may have been one of those super-friendly but conflict-averse people who have a really tough time saying anything that might make someone else uncomfortable. Dust yourself off and get back in the game, when you're ready.

Thanks. Yea seemed promising to me too hence why it really caught me by off by surprise. I guess one thing I learned is no matter how it seems to be going, you really have no idea.

And if it looked to be desperation on my end, I would LOVE to know how I even showed it. I'm pretty good about not showing emotions, but I usually reply to texts, from ANYONE... pretty quick. I wonder if it's that.

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by premier3is

Lol, shuda listen about all these bitches being the same. Lowkey want to question her action here but don't feel like even texting back after my last text which just mentioned 'good getting to know you as well for the last few weeks. Good luck in ur search'.

I'll leave it at that and not go off on the bitch for wasting my time.

Stop being so nice.

The "good getting to know you as well, good luck in your search" bullshit is something a nice guy would say.


My last few responses to the above have been, "your loss" and nothing else.

My ex reached out to me after 7 years. When I asked her why, she stated "well, I hadn't heard from you and wondered how you were doing". That translates to "You were doing fine without me and I was curious".

[premier3is]

Originally Posted by pennsiveguy

If you're not feeling it, you gotta let 'em know and let 'em go. Out of respect for their time. Every minute of their time you take up is a minute they can't spend finding someone who's really into them.

Exactly.. I could never string someone along once I knew it wasn't going to work. That's pretty fucked up and selfish to do.

[pennsiveguy]

Originally Posted by premier3is

Lol, shuda listen about all these bitches being the same. Lowkey want to question her action here but don't feel like even texting back after my last text which just mentioned 'good getting to know you as well for the last few weeks. Good luck in ur search'.

I'll leave it at that and not go off on the bitch for wasting my time.

Yeah, just let it drop. Don't abandon decency, or all is lost. Even if they play dirty, stick to your own ethics and values.

[pennsiveguy]

Originally Posted by premier3is

Exactly.. I could never string someone along once I knew it wasn't going to work. That's pretty fucked up and selfish to do.

I strung someone along a bit, about 3 years back. I was hanging in there and hoping I'd develop romantic feelings for her because we were such a good fit in every other aspect. But it never happened. She eventually initiated a conversation about it and I had to "fess up" and I felt pretty shitty about how I had handled things. So even without malice, we can do some damage. Self-awareness and candor are really important.

[premier3is]

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

Stop being so nice.

The "good getting to know you as well, good luck in your search" bullshit is something a nice guy would say.


My last few responses to the above have been, "your loss" and nothing else.

My ex reached out to me after 7 years. When I asked her why, she stated "well, I hadn't heard from you and wondered how you were doing". That translates to "You were doing fine without me and I was curious".

Need to be more like that. Guess I'm just a nice person in general, but seems like these idiots don't appreciate that.

No wonder why these females are treated like shit because when you treat them well, you are 'desperate' or 'too nice'. Treating people well, engaging in meaningful conversations and trying to meet more often should be a positive sign of interest, not be deterring these bitches away and make you 'desperate'. What a joke.

Dating these days is shit.

[pennsiveguy]

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

Stop being so nice.

The "good getting to know you as well, good luck in your search" bullshit is something a nice guy would say.
...

It's not only nice. More importantly, it's honest. I do enjoy getting to know someone, if they're a good conversation partner and we have some things in common to talk about. If it turns out that we don't work as a romantic couple, I've lost nothing. I'm not hurt by it and I don't need the other person to hurt either. Inflicting pain on the way out accomplishes nothing, in my view of the world.

Get yourself to a point where it doesn't hurt if it doesn't work out, and the whole "eye for an eye" attitude will vanish.

[Rmtt]

Originally Posted by premier3is

Thanks for the positive feedback... needed that pick up! Not too sure how I showed desperation on my end from texting, I guess I'll have to think it through. Is asking for a second date a week after we met considered desperation? Thought that should be normal.

I don't think it is being desperation on your part. But I learned very quickly that women had changed a lot between when I was a teenager and then a single adult.

They are more straightforward and upfront...well most are.

What I always did when I had a date, was I never contacted the person back. If she initiated contact with me and I wanted to continue....then we would do whatever.

But if they are interested...they will get back to you. Or they could even be testing you. And if they were testing me I didn't want anything to do with that either...so problem solved.

I guess we didn't have a lot of single guys in my area as I remember being texted back by girls less than an hour after coming off a date with them.