BMW E60 5-Series Forum | 5Post.com  
BMW Garage BMW Meets Register Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read  

Go Back   BMW E60 5-Series Forum | 5Post.com > BIMMERPOST Universal Forums > Off-Topic Discussions Board

Post Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
      01-24-2016, 03:27 PM   #353
Hooter
Banned
Australia
222
Rep
208
Posts

Drives: 335i
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Adelaide

iTrader: (0)

Apl330e

1. Smooth? Brazilian? Forrest?
2. You have $1000 to buy something really cool. What?
3. A large gangrenous zit appears on the end of your nose, the day before your wedding. What do you do?
Appreciate 0
      01-24-2016, 03:29 PM   #354
1MOREMOD
-
1MOREMOD's Avatar
United_States
11820
Rep
23,186
Posts

Drives: Race car->
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: check your mirrors

iTrader: (5)

Quote:
Originally Posted by 1LRM3 View Post
To all who view this:

1. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

2. Can you cry under water?

3. Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
1. They wanted to secretly stay and nail the girls.
2. Would be hard like taking a shit while swimming.
3. One has nothing to do with other.
Appreciate 0
      01-24-2016, 03:31 PM   #355
Hooter
Banned
Australia
222
Rep
208
Posts

Drives: 335i
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Adelaide

iTrader: (0)

NISFAN

1. Your lady comes home and finds you in bed with a couple of laydeboys. What do you do?
2. Gasoline or diesel. Which is best?
3. You have $50,000 and can only choose one car for life. Which one?
Appreciate 1
      01-24-2016, 03:34 PM   #356
MKSixer
Lieutenant General
MKSixer's Avatar
34122
Rep
11,637
Posts

Drives: 2015 BMW i8, E63 M6, 328d
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Southeast United States

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
2016 M4 GTS (Allotted)  [0.00]
2013 BMW 328d  [0.00]
2007 BMW M6  [10.00]
2015 BMW i8  [10.00]
Quote:
Originally Posted by ASBSECU E93 View Post
@MKSixer:

1. Boss for a year - Trump or Jobs?
2. People can pee without pooping, but cannot poop without peeing...why?
3. You must do one of these...run a marathon, swim 5 miles, or bike 100 miles....
1. Trump.
2. You can...it's just exceptionally difficult. Dusting off A and P. Urinary sphincter and anal sphincter are close together but the anal can't be released without the urinary unless you have extraordinary muscle control.
3. Bike 100
Appreciate 1
      01-24-2016, 03:36 PM   #357
Hooter
Banned
Australia
222
Rep
208
Posts

Drives: 335i
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Adelaide

iTrader: (0)

gtsussex

1. Your lady curbs two alloys on your one week old car. What revenge do you take?
2. You have $30,000 to buy a summer weekend car. Which one?
3. Apart from family, what is your most treasured possession?
Appreciate 1
      01-24-2016, 07:45 PM   #358
Mr Tonka
is probably out riding.
Mr Tonka's Avatar
United_States
6059
Rep
2,292
Posts

Drives: Something Italian
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Sweatypeninsula

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by shoei View Post
Seriously?? I got some whack ass questions and GG gets the good stuff ??

Don't come crying to me and Estoril about not getting Harrop and I hope your Patties go down shortly...

I got boom boom questions too.
__________________
"There is no greater tyranny than that which is perpetrated under the shield of the law and in the name of justice. -Charles de Secondat"
http://www.m3post.com/forums/signaturepics/sigpic59612_1.gif
Appreciate 0
      01-24-2016, 07:49 PM   #359
shoei
Banned
7778
Rep
2,601
Posts

Drives: MW Vespa w/pink racing stripes
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Peeing in your garden

iTrader: (3)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Tonka
Quote:
Originally Posted by shoei View Post
Seriously?? I got some whack ass questions and GG gets the good stuff ??

Don't come crying to me and Estoril about not getting Harrop and I hope your Patties go down shortly...

I got boom boom questions too.
Right?? ASB thinks we are of the stupid and not on other peoples levels...

Discrimination right there...
Appreciate 0
      01-24-2016, 07:53 PM   #360
///M Power-Belgium
General
///M Power-Belgium's Avatar
Belgium
70527
Rep
26,619
Posts

Drives: ///M3-E92-DCT Silverstone II
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Belgium

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by shoei View Post
Right?? ASB thinks we are of the stupid and not on other peoples levels...

Discrimination right there...
No worries brother , I know you're a smart guy
__________________
"MAX VERSTAPPEN" IS THE 2021+2022+2023 F1 WORLD CHAMPION - #UnLeashTheLion

BPM DEV-Tune & DCT Software-Tune & Servotronic & coding ///Alpine HID Angeleyes ///Oem.exhaust mod.
Appreciate 0
      01-24-2016, 07:54 PM   #361
shoei
Banned
7778
Rep
2,601
Posts

Drives: MW Vespa w/pink racing stripes
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Peeing in your garden

iTrader: (3)

Quote:
Originally Posted by ///M Power-Belgium
Quote:
Originally Posted by shoei View Post
Right?? ASB thinks we are of the stupid and not on other peoples levels...

Discrimination right there...
No worries brother , I know you're a smart guy
I appreciate that, phillipe, I really do... But there are some that might not say you are a credible source... Because of... Uhmm... Belgium??

Just kidding...

At least SOMEONE believes in me, ASB... Oh and, fuck Tom Brady and fuck the Patriots !!!
Appreciate 2
      01-24-2016, 08:01 PM   #362
ASBSECU E93
Know's a guy that know's a guy...
ASBSECU E93's Avatar
5645
Rep
1,905
Posts

Drives: 2010 335d; 2008 135i
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow

iTrader: (5)

Quote:
Originally Posted by shoei
Quote:
Originally Posted by ///M Power-Belgium
Quote:
Originally Posted by shoei View Post
Right?? ASB thinks we are of the stupid and not on other peoples levels...

Discrimination right there...
No worries brother , I know you're a smart guy
I appreciate that, phillipe, I really do... But there are some that might not say you are a credible source... Because of... Uhmm... Belgium??

Just kidding...

At least SOMEONE believes in me, ASB... Oh and, fuck Tom Brady and fuck the Patriots !!!
I will wear the Scarlet P with pride
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lups View Post
She stood there. Pointed a finger at me and laughed at me. That damn bitch.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lups View Post
Poop shit, shit and poop. I'm mildly angry now.
Appreciate 0
      01-24-2016, 08:01 PM   #363
ASBSECU E93
Know's a guy that know's a guy...
ASBSECU E93's Avatar
5645
Rep
1,905
Posts

Drives: 2010 335d; 2008 135i
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow

iTrader: (5)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Tonka
Quote:
Originally Posted by shoei View Post
Seriously?? I got some whack ass questions and GG gets the good stuff ??

Don't come crying to me and Estoril about not getting Harrop and I hope your Patties go down shortly...

I got boom boom questions too.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lups View Post
She stood there. Pointed a finger at me and laughed at me. That damn bitch.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lups View Post
Poop shit, shit and poop. I'm mildly angry now.
Appreciate 0
      01-24-2016, 08:02 PM   #364
///M Power-Belgium
General
///M Power-Belgium's Avatar
Belgium
70527
Rep
26,619
Posts

Drives: ///M3-E92-DCT Silverstone II
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Belgium

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by shoei View Post
I appreciate that, phillipe, I really do... But there are some that might not say you are a credible source... Because of... Uhmm... Belgium??

Just kidding...

At least SOMEONE believes in me, ASB... Oh and, fuck Tom Brady and fuck the Patriots !!!
All my pleasure my friend

Let's say...BP is only for smart guys
But the problem is that Americans say also something like "smart asses"
And I like only babe asses

EDIT : See you smart guys tomorrow...Good night and sleep well .
__________________
"MAX VERSTAPPEN" IS THE 2021+2022+2023 F1 WORLD CHAMPION - #UnLeashTheLion

BPM DEV-Tune & DCT Software-Tune & Servotronic & coding ///Alpine HID Angeleyes ///Oem.exhaust mod.
Appreciate 0
      01-24-2016, 08:07 PM   #365
GrussGott
Lieutenant General
GrussGott's Avatar
United_States
18240
Rep
11,765
Posts

Drives: 2018 M4 Comp Indv
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Newport Beach

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
Quote:
Originally Posted by ///M Power-Belgium View Post
Last year we were talking about your Belgian speeding ticket ..
Did you finally had to pay the Belgian suckers ?
funny that you ask because:

(1.) about 3 weeks ago we got hit with a ticket from the Italian police for our Milan rush hour adventure - basically I was driving in taxi-only lanes and also down a pedestrian only street which was blissfully traffic free in rush hour. And this is over a YEAR after I was there. The Italians aren't concerned with efficiency I guess.

(2.) The Swiss hit us right away: within 2 weeks of getting back, got hit with 2 tickets, with clear easy instructions and many many options to pay including direct bank transfer. Very efficient those Swiss.

(3.) Now the Belgians .... odd bunch the Belgians. They sent us a few tickets a few months afterward with some bizarre and long instructions that basically said we were accused and likely guilty, but they weren't ready to make a ruling. In the meantime they needed all kinds of documentation faxed to them. It took about an hour on the phone to get to the bottom of this Belgian bureaucracy. The odd thing is, we haven't heard back. They were very specific that they don't tolerate these types of shenanigans, but they've never responded back.

Anyway, the summary is:

* Swiss: fast to accuse and very flexible when it comes to paying them money
* Belgians: quick to accuse, but no follow-through
* Italians: So slow to accuse, but good follow-through
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by TurtleBoy View Post
He tries to draw people into inane arguments, some weird pastime of his.
Appreciate 2
      01-24-2016, 08:24 PM   #366
MKSixer
Lieutenant General
MKSixer's Avatar
34122
Rep
11,637
Posts

Drives: 2015 BMW i8, E63 M6, 328d
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Southeast United States

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
2016 M4 GTS (Allotted)  [0.00]
2013 BMW 328d  [0.00]
2007 BMW M6  [10.00]
2015 BMW i8  [10.00]
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1LRM3 View Post
To all who view this:

1. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

2. Can you cry under water?

3. Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
1. He is playing the long game. The Howell's will die after a few years. Gilligan and the Skipper will reveal that they are lovers and BOOM...Mary Ann and Ginger all to himself.

2. Yes. You simply won't see the tears.

3. The same reasons matches, flares, and other combustibles are sold...$$$.
Appreciate 0
      01-24-2016, 08:25 PM   #367
///M Power-Belgium
General
///M Power-Belgium's Avatar
Belgium
70527
Rep
26,619
Posts

Drives: ///M3-E92-DCT Silverstone II
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Belgium

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by GrussGott View Post
funny that you ask because:

(1.) about 3 weeks ago we got hit with a ticket from the Italian police for our Milan rush hour adventure - basically I was driving in taxi-only lanes and also down a pedestrian only street which was blissfully traffic free in rush hour. And this is over a YEAR after I was there. The Italians aren't concerned with efficiency I guess.

(2.) The Swiss hit us right away: within 2 weeks of getting back, got hit with 2 tickets, with clear easy instructions and many many options to pay including direct bank transfer. Very efficient those Swiss.

(3.) Now the Belgians .... odd bunch the Belgians. They sent us a few tickets a few months afterward with some bizarre and long instructions that basically said we were accused and likely guilty, but they weren't ready to make a ruling. In the meantime they needed all kinds of documentation faxed to them. It took about an hour on the phone to get to the bottom of this Belgian bureaucracy. The odd thing is, we haven't heard back. They were very specific that they don't tolerate these types of shenanigans, but they've never responded back.

Anyway, the summary is:

* Swiss: fast to accuse and very flexible when it comes to paying them money
* Belgians: quick to accuse, but no follow-through
* Italians: So slow to accuse, but good follow-through
Yep, and my advice is..
Pay the Swiss because if you want to return to Switzerland they scan all the plates of the cars , and the plates go automatic into their data-scan system and when the plate nr. has an open ticket...so a not payed ticket,they come and take your car and they sell your car for Switzerland !
Amen !
I heard about some serious cases in Switzerland and they are really serious with their shit !

About Belgium just don't pay the fools because it are suckers !
They steal every year 2,000 Euro's driver taxes from me for my car , think they got already enough from me !
Appreciate your reply...Thank you my friend
__________________
"MAX VERSTAPPEN" IS THE 2021+2022+2023 F1 WORLD CHAMPION - #UnLeashTheLion

BPM DEV-Tune & DCT Software-Tune & Servotronic & coding ///Alpine HID Angeleyes ///Oem.exhaust mod.
Appreciate 0
      01-24-2016, 08:55 PM   #368
bosstones
Lieutenant Colonel
1245
Rep
1,593
Posts

Drives: o_0
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Suburbia

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by 1LRM3 View Post
To all who view this:

1. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
2. Can you cry under water?
3. Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
1. Union rules prevented him from doing so.
2. Yes, but it doesn't matter since you're probably going to drown in the process.
3. For the same reason you can buy alcohol even though it is the 'one' beverage you can buy there but can't drink in your car......because they are prohibited from selling bacon. Think of it as a silent protest.
__________________
Appreciate 0
      01-24-2016, 09:01 PM   #369
ASAP
Major General
ASAP's Avatar
10859
Rep
9,029
Posts

Drives: '23 X3 M40i
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: FL

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by GrussGott View Post
funny that you ask because:

(1.) about 3 weeks ago we got hit with a ticket from the Italian police for our Milan rush hour adventure - basically I was driving in taxi-only lanes and also down a pedestrian only street which was blissfully traffic free in rush hour. And this is over a YEAR after I was there. The Italians aren't concerned with efficiency I guess.

(2.) The Swiss hit us right away: within 2 weeks of getting back, got hit with 2 tickets, with clear easy instructions and many many options to pay including direct bank transfer. Very efficient those Swiss.

(3.) Now the Belgians .... odd bunch the Belgians. They sent us a few tickets a few months afterward with some bizarre and long instructions that basically said we were accused and likely guilty, but they weren't ready to make a ruling. In the meantime they needed all kinds of documentation faxed to them. It took about an hour on the phone to get to the bottom of this Belgian bureaucracy. The odd thing is, we haven't heard back. They were very specific that they don't tolerate these types of shenanigans, but they've never responded back.

Anyway, the summary is:

* Swiss: fast to accuse and very flexible when it comes to paying them money
* Belgians: quick to accuse, but no follow-through
* Italians: So slow to accuse, but good follow-through

lol, the way I read this is... speed in belgium... i guess clarkson had a point w that P1 video
Appreciate 1
      01-24-2016, 10:33 PM   #370
UglyBuzzard
Colonel
UglyBuzzard's Avatar
United_States
6342
Rep
2,329
Posts

Drives: F90 / M5
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: SoCal

iTrader: (0)

@C5driver


1. Range or golf course?
2. Comedy or romance?
3. Chaka or baba booey?
Appreciate 0
      01-24-2016, 10:34 PM   #371
UglyBuzzard
Colonel
UglyBuzzard's Avatar
United_States
6342
Rep
2,329
Posts

Drives: F90 / M5
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: SoCal

iTrader: (0)

@Sara504

1. Range or golf course?
2. Comedy or romance?
3. Chaka or baba booey?
Appreciate 0
      01-24-2016, 10:37 PM   #372
UglyBuzzard
Colonel
UglyBuzzard's Avatar
United_States
6342
Rep
2,329
Posts

Drives: F90 / M5
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: SoCal

iTrader: (0)

@Mr.SugarSkulls

1. Who are the real girls here?
2. Ever hook up with a house cleaner?
3. Longest relationship?
Appreciate 0
      01-24-2016, 10:39 PM   #373
UglyBuzzard
Colonel
UglyBuzzard's Avatar
United_States
6342
Rep
2,329
Posts

Drives: F90 / M5
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: SoCal

iTrader: (0)

@1MOREMOD

1. Last mod you did?
2. Biggest tip ever given?
3. Dream car?
Appreciate 0
      01-24-2016, 10:40 PM   #374
Mr.SugarSkulls
Brigadier General
Mr.SugarSkulls's Avatar
No_Country
2887
Rep
3,245
Posts

Drives: BMW i8
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Long Beach, CA

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
2016 BMW F13 M6  [10.00]
Quote:
Originally Posted by UglyBuzzard
@Mr.SugarSkulls

1. Who are the real girls here?
2. Ever hook up with a house cleaner?
3. Longest relationship?
Hahahahahha.....

1) Sara, Biorin, c5, Lups, and formerly Bimette but she's quit.

2)nah, house cleaners are usually a little out of shape. I've got standards where I stick it into.

3) 2.5 years, and well- ended in heart breaking fashion. Explains why I am the way I am, but long story short, planned to propose, bought the ring, she broke up with me before she knew I was going to ask.

Thus I present you- MrSugarSkulls.
__________________
I'm always sunny, hunny.
Appreciate 1
Post Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 08:03 PM.




5post
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
1Addicts.com, BIMMERPOST.com, E90Post.com, F30Post.com, M3Post.com, ZPost.com, 5Post.com, 6Post.com, 7Post.com, XBimmers.com logo and trademark are properties of BIMMERPOST