[DenverSteve]

Sounds as though you're familiar with the mental-health patterns you are going through. Do you have a Medicare or CalMHSA case-worker? A mental-health clinic that you visit/frequent? If so, you should call your case worker and if not, you need to get in and see someone who can help. Good luck with your travails. California has one of the best mental-health systems in the world. If you haven't taken advantage of it in the past, contact CalMHSA as soon as you can and start in a program that you can stay with and benefit from.