Quote:
Originally Posted by Reborn_
Hang in there man. I’m in the same boat. My first born son is just over a month old. It’s really dejecting when he freaks out with me but as soon as I hand him to my wife, he’s calm as can be. They do have a deeper, biological connection with mom - we know that - but it is so hard to stomach! I just feel like as they get a bit older they will form that bond with us too.
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Don't feel like it's personal, at this point it's more about just knowing the temperature and smell of mom more than anything else. If anything, it's more important to spend time trying to calm him down rather than hand him back, the sooner you learn to soothe him (Google baby chanting and buy this book
https://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Baby.../dp/0553381466 ) the more you'll realize it's just technique, not something personal.
As soon as I mastered the baby head jiggle and some deep chanting he'd be calm as can be. It's like a super power for those nights where you only get 2 hours of sleep and feel like you're ready to shake them because you're powerless sometimes.
I think people might think the second kids are easier but just don't realize that they became better parents.
Without ranting too much, this stuff is hard. I almost burned my marriage to the ground and was a few clicks away from driving my car into a brick wall things seemed that bad. I invested way too much into success at "work" (and left a C-suite executive position only to dive into an even more horrible and toxic work environment) and didn't invest anything into myself or my family. It took me getting fired, plus a lot of therapy to start to actually re-adjust myself - but things ended up in a much better place. It took me at least 3 months to recover from 2 years of destructive behavior after our son was born.
Ranting aside, if anyone ever needs to talk about things feel free to PM. I made the mistake of bitching and moaning to some of my buddies who "had my back" but gave me an echo chamber of what I wanted to hear and that fucked my marriage up even more.