Quote:
Originally Posted by Rmtt
Thanks for the comments everybody.
My dad is actually a Minister. We had so many people from his church show up yesterday, it was overwhelming. He has been in the Ministry since I was about 10 yo.
I will be the first to admit that I'm not the man I should be in that aspect. I had a very hard struggle with that when my son died...kind of jaded me.
But I'm trying to do better.
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Sorry to hear about your son, and the struggles with your dad. My mom went through a similar thing with her mom. My mom is an only child, so she didn't have any siblings to help care for my grandma, and my grandfather on that side passed away before I was even born. My grandma was a saint of a lady, but very stubborn and strong minded (I think many who fought in WWII were/are like this). In her 80s she would have falls, and we would find her on the ground. My mom would try to help her and she would say "I'm fine, I'm fine" even though she would be unable to get up. We got her one of those life alert things, but she would keep it in the drawer, or lay there for hours instead of using it. My mom and her didn't have the best relationship towards the end, because my mom would get very frustrated with her and just give up. She passed away at 89 years old, a few weeks before she would've turned 90.
The best thing you can do is just be there for him, and do what he wants to do, even if you know it isn't the best for him. They have a lot of pride, and will do what they want anyway, it is easier just to make them happy. I think some days my mom regrets some of the fights she had with my grandma, but she had dementia, so a lot of it was unavoidable. Bottom line is just do the best you can, it's a tough thing to go through, but you can only do what you are capable of, everyone involved including him knows that. There's always that thought of "I could've done ___ " but you can only do so much while maintaining your own sanity.