Quote:
Originally Posted by monkeybingo
OP did you go through a rough divorce?
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I'm divorced...about 3.5 years now. It was relatively clean.
Got married way too young. Once I was legally obligated, she totally phoned it in. It was a 75/25 marriage...I basically put in 3x the work as her...usually more. Income, sex (her drive evaporated), taking care of myself (she got huge), keeping up the house (I was her maid because I can't stand to live in a pig stye), even washing her damn car. It was really lonely. I always figured I just needed to try even harder, but the harder I tried the less she tried, until it reached a breaking point. The first time I brought up divorce if things didn't change, she went straight to the lawyer and filed without even telling me. She got half my stuff (after a little battling) which amounted to about $150k, of which she probably earned about 50K on her own (if that), so it cost me about $100k (post tax) of my life. Years of my young life- poof. What did she do to earn it? Sat on ass. She quit her job and demanded alimony, but I got out of it BECAUSE she quit her job, and because she did some stupid things legally and had no stomach for a fight.
Everyone considers her a friendly person, but being married completely DIS-incentivized her to contribute to the relationship, and I stayed in a bad relationship WAY too long because i DID take my vows seriously and because she had me over a barrel financially. I had my breaking point though. So...what was in it for me? I just got married because I was young and figured that's the next step, right? Cultural inertia. This is what led me to think about the nature of marriage in the modern era and what's in it for men.